|
Count is here, if you can call it a count. A consolidation?
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2013 19:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:30 |
|
|
The two words are obviously Hand Job
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2013 19:40
|
|
|
I think that "Thank you" are the word's he's looking for. Though if we could be eloquent and fit a "sorry" into there, that would be good as well.
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2013 19:50
|
|
|
I'm not sure Azz will find goat handjobs as hilarious as we do. It would be pretty funny if we trashed our goodwill with him by sinking to deeper depths of manimalism than he could conceive 
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2013 19:55
|
|
|
Mr. Wednesday posted:I'm not sure Azz will find goat handjobs as hilarious as we do. It would be pretty funny if we trashed our goodwill with him by sinking to deeper depths of manimalism than he could conceive This is probably true. I urge those with a modicum of sense to think this over carefully. Still not changing my vote because I want to see which stock image Diog pulls off Gettyimages to depict Azzazel's face, one way or another. I've been consistently and long-windedly arguing in favor of largely sensible decisions, I'm entitled to one spurt of insanity at least, right?
|
|
#
?
Oct 24, 2013 20:15
|
|
|
Tsyni posted:The two words are obviously Hand Job
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 00:06
|
|
|
Happy Ending.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 00:09
|
|
|
I accept great and magnificent Azzazzel. Now pretty please help my dog before I punch you.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 00:12
|
|
|
Update eta: Less than an hour.
|
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 00:45
|
|
|
I'd like to vote AGAINST telling Azz we wanted to give him a goat-job.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:04
|
|
|
A RICH WHITE MAN posted:I'd like to vote AGAINST telling Azz we wanted to give him a goat-job. Me too. I am also still working on the two words. How about... Too late.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:06
|
|
|
My Bad
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:09
|
|
|
loving say I'm sorry already. Jesus. You people are the worst Enkidel 
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:17
|
|
|
Deadmeat5150 posted:loving say I'm sorry already. Jesus. Okay.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:21
|
|
"Goat do you um..." The goat interrupts you. "There are two words-" says the goat with Azzazel's voice between chews "I would like to hear from you Creature and you will have my aid on the terms offered before." Chew chew chew munch munch as the goat walks towards you "Though I suppose it does not need to be two, as long the content conveys the same meaning." "I'm sorry" you say. The goat, grins. Goat mouths are not designed to do so but this one does so regardless. "You have faced hunger" says Azzazel-as-goat "thirst, cold and heat. You have faced temptation, greed and danger. Lust was not on the list this time but I suppose it can't be helped. Well, you didn't hit all of the big ones Creature, but, I say you, close enough! Today you have overcome PRIDE! I give you high marks! You have been tested and I, Azzazel, the Tester, say you have passed! Now get out of my land, your stinking up the place and scaring my goats!" The goat throws back it's head and laughs and laughs, a great gush of water shoots from it's mouth and envelopes you and Snarls. You are carried by the swift flow of the waters and spun around and around by a top, this way and that, up side down and side to side.  After several rather disorienting moments, you stop spinning and the water moves more slowly. A rather large fish swims by your face by pays you no mind.  You are in the shallows of a river. You stand up, soaking wet. You slosh through the water to the edge of the river to see a sleeping Snarls upon the bank beside you. Snarls yawns, stands up amd stretches. He then gives an ecstatic bark and jumps on you, giving you a vigorous slobbery liking.  Master-Brother-Father-Bestests-Friend-Ever-Man-Beast-Friend-Who-Knows-Just-The-Right-Part-of-The-Belly-to-Scratch-to-Make-the-Leg-Kick! !!! HOME !!! You look around. Well, you are not in Zepath, but close, maybe a few hours west? You look up. The sun does not seem to have moved in the sky and if you guess your location right, you might get to Zepath by the late afternoon. Wait. You recognize that rock, it is shaped a bit like a goat's head, you passed this way a few months ago when you joined Ishamal on a hunt. You could be home in about 5 hours.  ... WATER! You have only drunk cactus piss for days, you kneel and happily drink your fill. As you look into the water, you notice several odd things about your reflection: Your nails have been neatly trimmed, manicured in fact. Your hair has been cut neatly. It was getting rather long. Your beard... you usually wear it neatly but fairly long and bushy. Your beard had been BRAIDED into two long braids and copper rings are on the end of it! Azzazzel braided your beard! Smells nice! You lift an armpit and sniff. And perfumed you...you smell vaguely like saffron. Your beard is now the traditional manner in which men of stature and renown wear it. Kings, Mighty Men and heroes. ...you also notice that Azzazel has changed your clothing. You are no longer wearing the common garment of Zepath, but wear a skirt made of leather strips with copper studs in the end. The garment of the rich, as well as heroes, kings and Mighty Men.  You hear a noise which sounds like a herd of goats laughing underwater and then hear Azzazel's laughing voice. "Knock em dead Kid! Hahahaha!" His voice fades into the baying of a goat and then it is gone. You see several things laying on the side of the river. The shell you have stored your pearls in, you check, all of them are within. Your stone knife. Your clothing, rather dingy, dirty and cut up at this point, folded in a neat pile. The monster- jackal skull as well as it's eye, which you smoked to preserve and carried in your garment. Your belt. A garment which looks identical to your clothing, except they are perfectly clean. As well as your spiked club. 1. You are going... A. To Zepath. B. Someplace else. Fill in. 2. Your beard... C. You leave as is. D. You unbraid it and take off the copper bands on the end. E. ...and you put some dirt in it so it looks like you've been living hard for a month, which you have been. 3. As to your clothes, you.... F. Wear the skirt. G. Put on the clean garment which looks exactly like the clothes you left Zepath in. H. Put on your somewhat torn up, dirty clothing that you actually wore for the last month. 4. And your spiked club? I. I take it! J. I leave it. If there is anything else you want to do before returning to Zepath, fill in, this is your last call! Probably! Unless you encounter something scary on the walk home, which is still very possible. Edit: If you have a suggestion for music to play when you walk into Zepath, feel free to post a link. If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up. If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/ Diogines fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:48
|
|
|
A C F I
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:55
|
|
|
1. A. Pray to El and give thanks before heading home. 2. C 3.F 4.I There Bias Two fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:55
|
|
|
 1: A - TO ZEPATH! 2: C - Leave it as it is  3: F - Wear the skirt and show off our lovely legs. 4: I - Take the club, we can always burn it to El! Let's do this in style, club over our shoulder, belongings under one arm and our dog by our side. We've come back a man, and a well dressed one at that, let's knock em dead. (If we go back in our torn up clothes we'll never be able to own this in the future, this is our chance.) Nettle Soup fucked around with this message at 02:00 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:56
|
|
|
gently caress yes. I knew I liked Azzazel. We will tell the truth as much as we can, though avoid mentioning Azzazel by name. We will call him a winged being, 13 feet tall, that Tested us as we underwent our test when Tudiya asks how we got all this poo poo. 1.  2.  3.  4.  We will also go immediately to the Temple to sacrifice to El. Then visit mom, Tudiya, and Ishamal. SerSpook fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:57
|
|
|
A C F I https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQo1HIcSVtg
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:58
|
|
|
Hey Diog. How many fingers do we have?
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:59
|
|
|
RandomPauI posted:A C F I Yup! This. We passed with flying colors apparently, and now are going to get up to shenanigans down the line with Azz. Snarls is fine, happy to be home; lets go home as is. If it tips anyone off that we had a little assistance from divine beings - own it at this point. Dont unbraid and change clothes to try and be something we're not.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:59
|
|
|
Diogines posted:
Oh, but if he only knew. Let's go home like a big stinkin' hero. We earned it. If anyone questions how our transformation came to pass, we can simply say enigmatically: "El works in mysterious ways."  1. A 2. C 3. F 4. I I'm so happy Snarls is OK by the way! 
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 01:59
|
|
FoxTerrier posted:Oh, but if he only knew. So close... SerSpook posted:Hey Diog. How many fingers do we have? 10.
|
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:00
|
|
|
RandomPauI posted:A C F I Voting This.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:00
|
|
|
RandomPauI posted:A C F I Yes, we're going to be giving goat hand jobs for the rest of eternity, but let's do this.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:01
|
|
|
Nettle Soup posted:
Oh hell yes, let's do this  
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:02
|
|
|
We're still bound to not tell anyone about Azz directly or indirectly per the agreement. All we need to tell anyone (besides Ishmail) is that "Through El's grace we passed".
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:02
|
|
|
OhYo posted:No reason to be dishonest about anything that happened. El sees all and I'm all for fessing up if it's a big deal. Enkidel can now ride back into town dignified. We cannot tell of Azzazel by name, to any but Ishamal, for only he knows Azzazel's true nature. I think this is more evidence that Azzazel isn't fallen but, rather, in the "testing" department.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:02
|
|
|
Ok. So if we are dressed to the nines do we need a story? Edit: first order is to hug Snarls! Then ask: 'did you see anything when you went away boy?' Sogol fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:02
|
|
|
Diogines posted:10. 10 fingers....2 thumbs. Divine status establisheddd.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:02
|
|
|
Nettle Soup posted:
Yup! A,C,F,I Music as we walk back into town: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVzvRsl4rEM Mr Apollo fucked around with this message at 02:07 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:04
|
|
|
Sogol posted:Have we or have we not agreed to not mention Azz? Diogines posted:The goat interrupts you. "There are two words-" says the goat with Azzazel's voice between chews "I would like to hear from you Creature and you will have my aid on the terms offered before." Chew chew chew munch munch as the goat walks towards you "Though I suppose it does not need to be two, as long the content conveys the same meaning." I say yes. Even if we weren't technically, Azz is a friend and he asked us not to say. It doesn't cost us anything to do as he asked.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:05
|
|
|
If we need a story we should just keep it mostly truthful. Say we went pearl fishing, escaped Eyescream, we became desperate and Snarls was hurt so we prayed, and we woke up in the river with our new stylz.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:06
|
|
|
Sogol posted:
While in the wastes, with Snarls nearing death, we cried out to the heavens for aid. This happened after being chased by Eyescream, after a month had passed, and when we had used Vayahi Or to call fire. We had inscribed our name on Zepa's monument. A six fingered, giant, winged being appeared and gave us aid. He declared himself to be the one watching us upon this test, and requested we not name him to any but Ishamal. Keep in mind the description is exactly that of a Melachim. We will also say that Snarls liked him. The being made it a big point that we had passed the test by defeating our pride. That's a good description, it doesn't name him, it basically says a Melachim showed up to help us, but also said only Ishamal is to know more.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:06
|
|
|
If you have a suggestion for music to play when you walk into Zepath, feel free to post a link.
|
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:07
|
|
|
"Hey, where'd you get those clothes Enkindel? Would be mighty hard to do without getting aid from men of Zepath  ""Oh, uh, a retired angel whose name I can't tell you gave them to me when I apologized to a goat? No seriously..."
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:07
|
|
|
Theglavwen posted:"Hey, where'd you get those clothes Enkindel? Would be mighty hard to do without getting aid from men of Zepath The king can sense falsehood. We also have our torn, obviously well worn clothing, to establish that we did as asked. I think we're fine. Ishamal, at the very least, can vouch for us after we tell him of Azzazel. edit: Tsynii's more basic version is a good starting point. If pressed I do think we need to concede that a Melachim, or what appeared to be one, aided us.
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:08
|
|
|
Tudiya can read minds (or close), he'll know we didn't cheat. edit: yeah, that ^
|
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:08
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 27, 2024 04:30 |
|
|
Yeah, if the question comes up don't lie, just don't mention Azz by name. "In our time of need, at the tail end of of our journey home, we cried out for assistance and were answered." Simple, we aren't lying, and Azz stays anonymous. Edit: And under our breath "...and almost jerked off a farm animal." Task Manager fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Oct 25, 2013 |
|
#
?
Oct 25, 2013 02:09
|
|