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HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

WhiteOutMouse posted:

I have been surprised by the hivemind votes recently.

First we want to follow the fates with the knife and now we want ignore it and kill stuff elsewhere. Stuff we don't need.

We changed up our weapon to the spear, teamed up with a witch and didn't ask our dad a million questions about why he did this.

I normally just ride the tide and try to point a few things out, only voting when I think it is important. Just interesting is all...

Edit: grammar

You're right about the witch, but the knife bit doesn't bother me. It's not like we were really going to be going in a straight line towards Ibleam, fighting only the monsters that we could tell were right in front of us.

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the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Deadly Ham Sandwich posted:

At least we finally got that helmet.

That's why Enkidel is acting so weird, the helmet is blocking us out of his head!
The poor lad has never had to form a decision without us, he's lost.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




I'm voting against going to the goblins or I guess not-C.

It might be good to kill them, but it's not really something we should be doing at this juncture. We are already potentially wasting a a bit over a half-week with the Ibleam detour, assuming we choose to do so, going a day out to kill stuff that won't offer much in rewards and then a day back to the road isn't worth it in my opinion.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
maybe we ain't coming back to the road.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Sogol posted:

maybe we ain't coming back to the road.

Maybe but I'm assuming we are, mainly because everyone seemed to really want to go down it earlier and its close enough to harpies that it doesn't necessarily cause problems.

Goblins just don't seem worth it.

Sogol
Apr 11, 2013

Galileo's Finger
The road is not a good place for 'keeping Asahel out of trouble'. It is the most likely place to find people looking for him. We threw the knife. It indicated a direction. We went that direction. There happened to be a road. Now we are starting to hunt. Green Biters are interesting because they will be a bit more like fighting Harpies than Minotaur and we will see what that is like with a shield wall. They are not the best prey for us personally, but will give us a chance to vet the BoL. Fighting Gobs may not be the most 'on task' activity, but conflict with Ibleamers is even less so, it seems to me.

Sogol fucked around with this message at 19:30 on Jan 26, 2014

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




I don't see why goblins would be anything like hunting harpies though.

And Enkidel at least seemed to think it was in Ibleam. People seemed to want to go to Ibleam. I argued against it for a few pages and then went along with it. I even brought up that it pointing down the road didn't mean Ibleam, just the direction it pointed and the road probably curves. No one seemed to really care though and wanted to go to Ibleam.

Why would we then decide to not go to Ibleam? And no conflict is necessary, we don't even really need to enter the city proper. It'd even make the trip to harpies safer, since 8 day south of a city is safer than 3 weeks east of one.

Lanky Coconut Tree
Apr 7, 2011

An angry tree.

The angriest tree
Hunt the goblins

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
Kill the gobbos

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Personally, the only reason I had against using the knife again was that in doing so would be saying that we didn't trust our judgement in El. This isn't a trade caravan, we don't need to stick to the roads. I saw it as a general first direction to go, and when opportunity comes along we take it. From where Diog said we were on the map, we can just keep going south east to the harpies after the goblin.

Greggster
Aug 14, 2010
The knife doesn't mean we have to go in a straight line, it just indicates that >this direction< is where we're going to find the most beasts to slain for the glory of El.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




^

I actually said something similar several times but no one decided it was particularly relevant.

HiHo ChiRho posted:

Personally, the only reason I had against using the knife again was that in doing so would be saying that we didn't trust our judgement in El. This isn't a trade caravan, we don't need to stick to the roads. I saw it as a general first direction to go, and when opportunity comes along we take it. From where Diog said we were on the map, we can just keep going south east to the harpies after the goblin.

The vote straight up said "follow the road to Ibleam", as in go to Ibleam, or that was my interpretation.

It's more the inconsistency, particularly after a bunch of people pointed out why going to Ibleam might not be a very good idea but people still wanted to go. Now we decide after finding some goblins to kill them and then maybe go kill harpies? I'm fine with it I guess, but I'm assuming people will want to continue with the original plan.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe

A Terrible Person posted:

1C: Go East, in the exact direction the knife pointed, leaving the trail to face any monsters Snarls sniffs out to the South/Southeast, and eventually moving on further East to the farms and wilderness beyond Ibleam.

Going for 1C again.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

"We head south" you tell your men. "Snarls smells goblins, a big den of them. Let us wet out spears!" This is met with words of approval from your men. Off you go. You walk for a number of hours and make camp for the night. The next afternoon, you see a cave, around which are scattered a number of animal bones. You do not hear anything, they must be fairly deep inside.





As you look towards the cave, you do your best to get a count from Snarls of those within, but while Snarls is clever, he has difficulty counting.

You ask him a series of questions to try to narrow down the range.





More than us?

Yes.

Much more than us?

Yes. Many smells.

More than the city?

No.

Much less than the city?

Don't know. Many smells.

Well he is right, you can smell it from here, the cave stinks and smells of rot and filth. There are more than thirty and less than a few thousand goblins down there. The roads are fairly well traveled and Zepath's less-mighty Mighty Men mostly walk the roads between Ibleam and Tanaach, while others such as Aaron(and once Barkof) focused upon culling the wilderness. The location of this den must be just beyond where Mighty Men would usually notice it and so it has gone, unnoticed.

They did not have the benefit of Snarl's nose.

Your men are armed, armored and ready.

Uriah, your Mighty Son, Lullaya's younger brother says "Let us raise up torches, spears and be upon them!" Jassiel and Ithma, the two fifteen year old Mighty Sons who came with you for their Manhood trial nod in agreement, Jassiel saying "This shall be easy and swift."

Gareb, the eldest of your Mighty Sons, twenty years old says "We do not know how many are down there, let us spend an hour or two to gather kindling and build a large fire, many will die from the smoke and we can slay the rest as they come out, so we can fight them out here, with the benefit of a formation."

Jassiel shakes his head at this "We do not fear goblins" he says, a hint of disdain his voice "let us slaughter these wretches in their home."

Paebel adds "We don't know how deep the cave is, the smoke may not even trouble them."

Jobe, the acolyte from El's temple suggests "Let us give a shout to El, to alert them to our presence so they come out."

Your other men don't seem to have much of an opinion. All expect that this shall be a swift and easy victory.


1. You....
A. Strike up torches and descend.
B. Descend, but with only one or two torches.
C. Spend an hour or two to gather kindling for a large fire and try to kill some with smoke and send the rest running out.
D. Shout to El loudly to alert them to your presence, so they attack you.
E. You don't know how many are down there. There may be too many. Give up. Back to the road, follow the knife.
F. Move on, ask Snarls if he smells anything else to hunt, move at whatever is closest.
G. Move on, head south.
H. move on, head southeast.
I. Move on, head southwest.
J. Something else. Fill in.

2. If you voted to descend... who leads the way?
K. You do, Snarls keeps to the middle of the group.
L. You do, with Snarls beside you.
M. Geber, the Mightiest of your band.
N. Asahel aka Billy, who was able to beat Geber wrestling, but only in brief moments
O. Jobe leads the way. He is a priest, so El will watch over him.
P. Uriah leads the way. He is hungry for glory, so let him have it.
Q. Jassiel leads the way.
R. Ithma leads the way.
S. I don't care who leads.

3. If you are leading the way, do you carry a shield or a torch in your left hand? Men behind you can hold a torch if you don't wish to.
T. I hold a torch in my left hand.
U. I hold a shield in my left hand.





I would like to give a VERY BIG THANKS to NETTLESOUP for continuing to update our map for us! A number of new locations added. Your current position is the little shield east of Zepath. You are aware of some of who Zepath's more distant neighbors are. Beyond those, you know the names of other cities, but their location is too ambiguous to be useful to you.

The locations are a rough approximation of where places are, based upon your current knowledge of the world. This is not necessarily accurate, but is a representation of the world, as you, Enkidel, currently know it to be.





THE WORLD ACCORDING TO ENKIDEL posted:

Athar - The village you lived in till you were 11
AR - Arbeh - A fishing village two weeks south of Athar
AC - Acco - A large city.
B - Mount Har and at it's base, the city of Baitel. The sacred city and largest city in the world.
D - Dor - A city
G - Gezer - A city
I - Ibleam - A city, rival to Zepath
K - Kitron - A city
M - Megido - A city
T - Tanaach - A city, friendly to Zepath
Z - Zepath - Your home

Squidface on the coast - The camp from your Manhood trial, aka Enkidelopolis
The little spire south of Zepath - Zepa's Monument
Mountains a bit east - Mountains where beasts are known to reside
Far east of Baitel, well off the map. The Kadmonim nomads and their grassland.

White spaces - Places you know nothing of.


If you want to, feel free to join us on irc #madgod on synirc.net. The channel tends to always have some people in it and is especially active when updates go up.

If you do not know what IRC is, here is a web based chat version which will not require you to register or download anything: http://chat.mibbit.com/

Diogines fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jan 26, 2014

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Question: What do we know, specifically, of the abilities of goblins? They are a pest for farmers rather than a terrifying monster, and a single arrow kills them. We also took them down with our club, and Snarls has killed some as well.

Either way currently voting...

1. A
2. L

We can do this in stealth (to a degree) with Snarls' nose as an early warning system, and perhaps our eyes to see in the dark. But we need the torches for the other men, and I bet a bit of darkness won't deter the goblins from noticing us, or I'd vote B.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

SerSpook posted:

Question: What do we know, specifically, of the abilities of goblins?
Goblins are roughly human shaped but three feet tall with green skin, clothed in animal hides and wielding primitive weapons made of stone and bone and ones stolen from men. They are weaker than men physically.

SerSpook posted:

We can do this in stealth (to a degree) with Snarls' nose as an early warning system, and perhaps our eyes to see in the dark.
Your skills with stealth are focused upon moving through the wilds and hiding your trail. It translates a bit into hiding yourself when moving through other places, but with your men and with your armor... it will give no special advantage to hide yourself.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




C. If the fire doesn't flush them out, we know they have a huge cave system down there.

SerSpook
Feb 13, 2012




Diogines posted:

Goblins are roughly human shaped but three feet tall with green skin, clothed in animal hides and wielding primitive weapons made of stone and bone and ones stolen from men. They are weaker than men physically.

Your skills with stealth are focused upon moving through the wilds and hiding your trail. It translates a bit into hiding yourself when moving through other places, but with your men and with your armor... it will give no special advantage to hide yourself.

That was more of a statement on why trying to stealth it probably won't work.

LLSix
Jan 20, 2010

The real power behind countless overlords



because we take off our armor and ready our bow. We'll mow the goblins down just like we scythed through the adventurers in the temple. This is an excellent opportunity to demonstrate how useful our bow is. Let's seize it.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Oh, just trying to make it clear.

Also:

IRC question posted:

<NettleSoup> how smart are goblins?
<NettleSoup> they're weaker, but are they overly stupid?
<NettleSoup> or smart?
<Diog> It is difficult to gauge their intelligence as a not-Mesopotamian super hero i.e. Aaron killed him
<Diog> They were too busy dying
<Diog> Conventional wisdom is that they are no more intelligent than wild wilds and indeed, are, wild animals.

Diogines fucked around with this message at 22:29 on Jan 26, 2014

Althair
Jul 26, 2006
words are weapons
C

Explain that this is about getting practice fighting in formation, and great glory comes from mightier beasts. These little ones are for practice!

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
D. It doesn't necessarily have to be a shout out to El, we just need to make a lot of noise to grab their attention. We just need to stand at the mouth of the cave, as it is a natural bottleneck. This is probably the Mesopotamian equivalent of shooting fish in a barrel.

e: If we decide to do something else that isn't option D, I would advise against option C. It will kill the enemy, but will also destroy the spoils. I don't think our associates will take kindly to that.


Though this is all still true, I've decided to change my vote a bit.

Zybourne Clock fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Jan 27, 2014

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
1J: Snarls smells hundreds of the beasts down there... We don't have anywhere near enough donkeys to carry that many corpses back! Collapse the mouth of the cave for now; we'll come back to cash in on them once we're better equipped. If we remember...

Serious vote:

1. You....
A. Strike up torches and descend.
2. If you voted to descend... who leads the way?
L. You do, with Snarls beside you.

*edit* I have no idea why I didn't remove the quote tags earlier.

A Terrible Person fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Jan 26, 2014

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008

J. Pair off, one with a torch, one with a shield. Both with spears. We protect eachother as we go down.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




A Terrible Person posted:

1J: Snarls smells hundreds of the beasts down there... We don't have anywhere near enough donkeys to carry that many corpses back!

Nah, we don't have to carry them back. If we're quick we can catch up with the leather merchants. They'd probably be willing to buy some discount goblin dongs (or whatever part of goblins is valuable). And they are heading away from Zepath, so we don't have to worry about devaluing the monster bits market.

HBar
Sep 13, 2007

Smoke 'em out, and form a wall around the exit. Might as well take out the whole den while we're here, and this is the way to do it with untested spearmen.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe

Angela Christine posted:

Nah, we don't have to carry them back. If we're quick we can catch up with the leather merchants.

Skins are pretty light, too, and would be perfect for leather merchants. Just imagine if we accidentally create a goblin-leather fashion craze.

Deadly Ham Sandwich
Aug 19, 2009
Smellrose


Time to go spelunking.

A Terrible Person
Jan 8, 2012

The Dance of Friendship

Fun Shoe
3U. If we're taking the lead, we need defenses more than light. We've got Snarls' nose to warn us of close danger, plus our superior hearing ought to offset any loss of vision we face.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
ALU

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
Diog, is there only the one entrance? Can Snarls smell other ways in or out?

How wide is the cave? Wide enough for us to, say, plug it completely with the shieldwall?

If it's too wide to plug with our shieldwall, are there any nearby boulders we could shift into position to narrow it?


However many there are, if there's only one way in and we can plug it with a wall of armored and shielded men, we can probably take 'em. In such a case it'd be better to shout to El and taunt 'em into coming up to attack us en masse. Once their initial attack waves peter out, THEN we can look into walking in deeper to flush out survivors.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009



ASHERAH DEMANDS I FEAST, I VOTE FOR A FEAST OF FLESH
1. J We eat the heart of a no-name in the band to increase our power. The smell of blood will also surely bring out the gobbos!

2. L Time to show some leadership

3. U Don't want to get smoke into our pretty, pretty eyes.


Also, We should eat at least one gobbo heart (for each band member) as a sacrifice to Asherah for our first kills

Slaan fucked around with this message at 00:21 on Jan 27, 2014

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Tomn posted:

[b]Diog, is there only the one entrance? Can Snarls smell other ways in or out?

You only see one. You could send Snarls to smell out for others more carefully but he only knows of this one.

Tomn posted:

How wide is the cave? Wide enough for us to, say, plug it completely with the shieldwall?

The tunnel appears to be wide enough for two or three men across.

Tomn posted:

If it's too wide to plug with our shieldwall, are there any nearby boulders we could shift into position to narrow it?
There are not. The cave mouth sticks up from a slightly hilly area, there are no large convenient boulders.

Imperialist Dog
Oct 21, 2008

"I think you could better spend your time on finishing your editing before the deadline today."
\
:backtowork:
A L T

If a goblin comes charging at us we throw our torch in its eye, stab the one coming behind it with our spear, then take the shield off our back in one fluid motion to block a stone axe. The goblins will be blinded by our torchlight anyway. This plan cannot possibly fail!

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

C is the most likely way to avoid being slaughtered.

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

1. A

2. K + P Lead, with Uriah close behind.

3. U

Sweet map, Nettlesoup!

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008

Something about this goblin cave smells particularly goony.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

HBar posted:

Smoke 'em out, and form a wall around the exit. Might as well take out the whole den while we're here, and this is the way to do it with untested spearmen.

I agree. C! Smoked goblin is on the menu tonight, boys!

Kira Akashiya
Feb 2, 2013
1. A
2. L
3. U

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Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
Only two or three across? This is gonna be cake.

1. D, but plug the cave entrance with our shieldwall first. They come out a few at a time, we stab 'em many at a time. What's not to like? Negating their numbers through their own fortifications!

2. K. Don't see any reason to get Snarls in the mix, he's our scout!

3. U. Our face is too pretty to be scarred.

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