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LOCUST FART HELL posted:Talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a sinner! Except for this guy. Have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom.
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Mar 15, 2014 00:29
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Have you ever actually sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not even allowed to go to the bathroom. This elevator only goes to the basement! And someone made an awful mess down there...
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Mar 15, 2014 01:18
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Crackerman posted:You misspelled 'confession'. You failed every segment, and misspelled "bus" on your application.
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Mar 15, 2014 02:05
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MondayHotDog posted:You failed every segment, and misspelled "bus" on your application. Then he told me to  relax
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Mar 15, 2014 02:16
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MondayHotDog posted:You failed every segment, and misspelled "bus" on your application. This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty". And "guilty" is spelled wrong!
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Mar 15, 2014 02:36
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jscolon2.0 posted:This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty". And "guilty" is spelled wrong! How many S's are there in innocent?
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Mar 15, 2014 02:54
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MondayHotDog posted:How many S's are there in innocent? I'd like to declare a...bad court thingy.
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Mar 15, 2014 04:02
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AlliedBiscuit posted:I'd like to declare a...bad court thingy. Look, AlliedBiscuit, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his rear end on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, AlliedBiscuit, it's Something Awful!
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Mar 15, 2014 05:05
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Man Alive! posted:This elevator only goes to the basement! And someone made an awful mess down there...  My toolshed!
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Mar 15, 2014 05:35
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Writer Cath posted:
I'm president of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason.
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Mar 15, 2014 05:38
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Crackerman posted:I'm president of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason. It's a boy - and what a boy!
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Mar 15, 2014 05:40
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We're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears!
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Mar 15, 2014 05:43
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:Look, AlliedBiscuit, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his rear end on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, AlliedBiscuit, it's Something Awful! Hey CharlieFoxtrot, way to get AlliedBiscuit pregnant! Tokelau All Star fucked around with this message at 05:48 on Mar 15, 2014 |
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Mar 15, 2014 05:46
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Tokelau All Star posted:Hey CharlieFoxtrot, way to get AlliedBiscuit pregnant!
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Mar 15, 2014 05:55
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MondayHotDog posted:How many S's are there in innocent? That's a typo.
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Mar 15, 2014 11:20
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Tokelau All Star posted:Hey CharlieFoxtrot, way to get AlliedBiscuit pregnant! These congratulations are getting very abstract but yes! I do enjoy posting in the something awful forums!
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Mar 15, 2014 11:43
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Hogburto posted:This is getting very abstract but thank you, I do enjoy posting in the thread. Skeesix posted:These congratulations are getting very abstract but yes! I do enjoy posting in the something awful forums! 
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Mar 15, 2014 16:10
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Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors, useful people are starting to feel the pinch.
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Mar 15, 2014 16:29
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:Look, AlliedBiscuit, you don't know what it's like. I'm the one out there every day putting his rear end on the line. And I'm not out of order! You're out of order. The whole freaking system is out of order. You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't handle the truth! 'Cause when you reach over and put your hand into a pile of goo that was your best friend's face, you'll know what to do! Forget it, AlliedBiscuit, it's Something Awful! No truth handler, you! I deride your truth-handling abilities!
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Mar 15, 2014 20:24
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Jorghnassen posted:Joblessness is no longer just for philosophy majors, useful people are starting to feel the pinch. We'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if they're already in the gutter, to some other out-of-the-way place...
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Mar 15, 2014 20:58
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MondayHotDog posted:You failed every segment, and misspelled "bus" on your application. And now look at me, I drive the school bus! 
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Mar 15, 2014 21:21
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Drink-Mix Man posted:We'd like to sweep these people into the gutter, or if they're already in the gutter, to some other out-of-the-way place... We don't have bums here, Drink-Mix; and if we did, they wouldn't be rushed. We'd allow them to leave at their own pace.
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Mar 15, 2014 22:25
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Everything Counts posted:We don't have bums here, Drink-Mix; and if we did, they wouldn't be rushed. We'd allow them to leave at their own pace.  Lumber, we need lumber.
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Mar 16, 2014 00:16
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Root Bear posted:And now look at me, I drive the school bus! Promise you'll never do that again.
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Mar 16, 2014 00:25
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Technogeek posted:Promise you'll never do that again. Seeeexxx? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about seeeeexxx? I had seeeexxx.
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Mar 16, 2014 00:40
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PT6A posted:Seeeexxx? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about seeeeexxx? I had seeeexxx. [Wolf whistle] Rrowww, rrowww! Ee-ee, ee-ee! Grrrr! Huffhuffhuff! Ruff! Ruff! Aowwwwwwooo! [Wobbles lips with finger] Hubba hubba.
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Mar 16, 2014 00:59
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Daktar posted:[Wolf whistle] Rrowww, rrowww! Ee-ee, ee-ee! Grrrr! Huffhuffhuff! Ruff! Ruff! Aowwwwwwooo! [Wobbles lips with finger] Hubba hubba. Do you come with the car?
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Mar 16, 2014 01:06
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Root Bear posted:And now look at me, I drive the school bus! SPONGE?!
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Mar 16, 2014 01:20
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Technogeek posted:Promise you'll never do that again. If something's hard to do, then it's not worth doing! You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your short-wave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle, and we'll go inside and quote the Simpsons.
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Mar 16, 2014 01:27
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Daktar posted:[Wolf whistle] Rrowww, rrowww! Ee-ee, ee-ee! Grrrr! Huffhuffhuff! Ruff! Ruff! Aowwwwwwooo! [Wobbles lips with finger] Hubba hubba. Yes. Shake, it madam.  Capital Knockers!
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Mar 16, 2014 01:28
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jscolon2.0 posted:Yes. Shake, it madam. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Capital City's nakedest ladies. They're not even wearing a smile. Nod suggestively. Yes, six, count 'em, six gorgeous ladies just dying...for your leers and cat calls. Yowsa, yowsa. 
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Mar 16, 2014 01:42
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Crackerman posted:SPONGE?! Gimme eight hundred Krusty Burgers!
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Mar 16, 2014 01:46
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Daktar posted:[Wolf whistle] Rrowww, rrowww! Ee-ee, ee-ee! Grrrr! Huffhuffhuff! Ruff! Ruff! Aowwwwwwooo! [Wobbles lips with finger] Hubba hubba. Stop that. I love my wife and family. All I'm going to use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort.
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Mar 16, 2014 02:41
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MondayHotDog posted:Stop that. I love my wife and family. All I'm going to use this bed for is sleeping, eating, and maybe building a little fort. 
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Mar 16, 2014 02:48
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Of course, for safety reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded. It's just common sense.
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Mar 16, 2014 03:45
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MondayHotDog posted:Of course, for safety reasons, we don't keep the cannon loaded. It's just common sense. HEY! THEY'RE TRYING TO LEARN FOR FREE! 
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Mar 16, 2014 04:55
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Spiffster posted:HEY! THEY'RE TRYING TO LEARN FOR FREE! Use your phony guns as clubs!
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Mar 16, 2014 04:59
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MondayHotDog posted:Use your phony guns as clubs! Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family.
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Mar 16, 2014 05:43
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Drink-Mix Man posted:Yeah, I had to sell the trigger and most of the handle to feed my family. And that is how, with a few simple modifications, you can turn one gun into five guns.
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Mar 16, 2014 06:15
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IMJack posted:And that is how, with a few simple modifications, you can turn one gun into five guns. Oh, crap! I certainly shouldn't have said it was illegal! ...it's too hot today.
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Mar 16, 2014 07:56
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