oliwan posted:
Lol I think Jozy might have a huge neck.
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Mar 26, 2014 23:36
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Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:Lol I think Jozy might have a huge neck. Well hes got no sack.
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Mar 26, 2014 23:40
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To the tune of John Cage's 4'33": Jozy's goalscoring record.
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Mar 26, 2014 23:48
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Ho Chi Meeeeee posted:Lol I think Jozy might have a huge dick.
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Mar 27, 2014 00:16
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serious gaylord posted:I have come to the conclusion in the last 10 minutes that the majority of americans are delusional. Just read some of your anti-American tweets and this one made me lol: 
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Mar 27, 2014 00:44
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TheBigAristotle posted:Just read some of your anti-American tweets and this one made me lol: most fun i've had all week op
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Mar 27, 2014 00:45
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I have heard rumours that Jozy once again failed to score, but I need official confirmation. Bring forth the chart.
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Mar 27, 2014 00:46
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jyrka posted:To the tune of John Cage's 4'33": lmao
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Mar 27, 2014 00:53
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jazzyhattrick posted:I have heard rumours that Jozy once again failed to score, but I need official confirmation. mods rename this man jozyhattrick
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Mar 27, 2014 01:09
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jyrka posted:To the tune of John Cage's 4'33": Nice
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Mar 27, 2014 01:13
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Maradonna Summer posted:mods rename this man jozyhattrick I concur, but only when Big Jozy actually scores a hat trick.
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Mar 27, 2014 01:19
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quote:Do I believe in jozy? Yes. I think he's still our best forward. Do I believe in jozy at Sunderland? No. It doesn't fit. They're midfield seems to want to score more than setup the forwards and jozy seems as though he's given into that and has forgotten he should score first not assist. It's backwards and he's regressing. Leave. Epl isn't everything. quote:Saw the game, it's now obvious that Sunderland does not give Jozy justice. Long balls that lose possession. Poor ball handling and passing which loses possession. Midfield having the same level of creativity to that of a 3 year old. God that game was exhausting. quote:He needs to go to a place where he is respected, where he will be given the oppurtunity, where he can rediscover his scoring touch. Because to be honest, the guy who can lead the US out of this group is Jozy Altidore. Not Donovan, or Bradley, or Dempsey, or Howard. It's Altidore. And each and every USMNT wants, and needs, a hot, confident, warrior, in Jozy Altidore. http://www.mlssoccer.com/news/article/2014/03/26/american-exports-jozy-altidores-drought-reaches-15-straight-games-sunderland Mods please rename me a hot, confident, warrior.
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Mar 27, 2014 02:04
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Did jozy seriously play for another 90 minutes and not score? How many minutes has he played since his last goal? How many minutes has he played all season? I remember reading a blog post he wrote where he promised the goals (plural) were coming 
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Mar 27, 2014 02:06
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I want to hit every deluded sack of poo poo one of these people about the head with a 2x4.
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Mar 27, 2014 02:06
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Ponce de Le0n posted:Did jozy seriously play for another 90 minutes and not score? Jozy, a striker, today: 
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Mar 27, 2014 02:12
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I had no clue his middle name was Volmy
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Mar 27, 2014 02:13
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jozy volmy altidore is an anagram of i, lazy voldemort
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Mar 27, 2014 02:18
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Maradonna Summer posted:jozy volmy altidore is an anagram of i, lazy voldemort lol
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Mar 27, 2014 02:19
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Maradonna Summer posted:jozy volmy altidore is an anagram of i, lazy voldemort 
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Mar 27, 2014 03:04
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Maradonna Summer posted:jozy volmy altidore is an anagram of i, lazy voldemort This thread is incredible
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Mar 27, 2014 03:28
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Then, in the summer of 2011, Altidore made the full-time switch to AZ Alkmaar, where he cultivated his skills en route to becoming one of the deadliest goal scorers on the planet before being transferred in July of 2013 to Sunderland of the English Premier League.
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Mar 27, 2014 04:01
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Jozy has as many goals in the Premier League as Tim Howard and Brad Friedel combined. Our warrior.
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Mar 27, 2014 04:17
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Maradonna Summer posted:jozy volmy altidore is an anagram of i, lazy voldemort no it isnt
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Mar 27, 2014 04:18
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I get where Altidore is coming from when he plays. I see why he's frustrated and it isn't coming off for him. He's in a place where he's expected to just play in individual beast mode. "Shut your mouth and head in the ball no matter where we send it. Don't bother me with your checking and showing and combining." But he is a player that wants to play pretty soccer and exchange the ball quickly. He gets confused and frustrated when that type of movement isn't recognized and reciprocated. He's not mentally built to play long ball or "me vs. the world." I get that. Some players are built to function within a team that plays soccer.
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Mar 27, 2014 04:28
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jyrka posted:
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Mar 27, 2014 07:19
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If Everton can't find the cash to buy Romelu Lukaku outright this summer, I'd like to see them go after Jozy.
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Mar 27, 2014 08:10
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Bogan Krkic posted:no it isnt Somewhat amusingly though, the remaining letters spell "joy".
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Mar 27, 2014 09:09
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Fag Boy Jim posted:If Everton can't find the cash to buy Romelu Lukaku outright this summer, I'd like to see them go after Jozy. I don't!!! We already have enough strikers that don't score
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Mar 27, 2014 09:11
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quote:Sunderland should only try to pass him the ball on the floor...Anything knee-high will be difficult for him to control..Roll it flat on the floor for him....Also, stop passing it to him while he's running toward the sideline..I've noticed he's poor at quickly using his feet to flip the ball away from the rushing defender while setting his body as a shield to keep the ball well away..
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Mar 27, 2014 09:36
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So he's bad at the things a striker should be able to do in league 2 or above?
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Mar 27, 2014 10:09
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Whatever you do do not pass a running Jozy the football, as if the ball moving and he is moving then he cannot control it and will fall over and break his bones. If he is standing still, play him only the gentlest of passes and even then only do so if you have made sure his mood is amiable and he has first had his afternoon snack. Should Jozy successfully trap the ball, congratulate him and warmly encourage him to nudge it towards the goal. If he has not fallen over by this point and the football remains at his feet, request that the opposing team's goalkeeper politely step aside so that Josmer may have a fair attempt at scoring a goal.
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Mar 27, 2014 10:11
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Parity warning posted:Whatever you do do not pass a running Jozy the football, as if the ball moving and he is moving then he cannot control it and will fall over and break his bones. If he is standing still, play him only the gentlest of passes and even then only do so if you have made sure his mood is amiable and he has first had his afternoon snack. Should Jozy successfully trap the ball, congratulate him and warmly encourage him to nudge it towards the goal. If he has not fallen over by this point and the football remains at his feet, request that the opposing team's goalkeeper politely step aside so that Josmer may have a fair attempt at scoring a goal. Is this the Banana Island's managers pre-match team talk?
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Mar 27, 2014 10:15
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What's funnier than Jozy "playing" football, is that these cunts actually think that's perfectly reasonable. 
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Mar 27, 2014 10:25
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Fag Boy Jim posted:If Everton can't find the cash to buy Romelu Lukaku outright this summer, I'd like to see them go after Jozy. FFS
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Mar 27, 2014 11:11
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I would Kevin Keegan love this.
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Mar 27, 2014 11:11
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Monday Bandele posted:I don't think stats are very useful in isolation in soccer, but there is something kind of, I don't know, interesting when you look at whoscored's Dispossession and Turnover stats: The HIGHER your Dispossession and Turnovers, the more likely you are to score. Say WHAT? One of those things that make you go "hmmmm." In fact, you could argue that Jozy's relatively LOW disp and turnover rate indicate one of his big problems is being TOO careful on the ball, and therefore not taking the low percentage chances that, when taken enough, get you a goal. But then you would notice he has just about the exact same Disp and TO rate as other S'land strikers and you realize: It the F'ing TEAM!!!! oh, wait. Did I say that out loud? Of course, some players get more overall chances so burning a few with high payoff, low percentage moves is not such a big deal. Here's some average stats courtesy of your friends at whoscored. So what the hell is a turnover?
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Mar 27, 2014 12:35
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I am OK posted:So what the hell is a turnover?  Jozy has more turnovers than any other player, don't pay attention to that list of lies.
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Mar 27, 2014 12:43
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Turnover (basketball), when a player from one team gives possession to the opposing team by losing the ball without taking a shot Turnover (gridiron football), in American football when the offense loses possession of the football because of a fumble, interception, or on downs
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Mar 27, 2014 13:59
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A turnover is something Jozy can't do without falling out of bed
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Mar 27, 2014 14:01
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Jermaine Dildoe posted:Turnover ...when the offense loses possession of the football because of ... downs
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Mar 27, 2014 14:01
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