Satanists use hobby lobby to troll christians

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Satanists use hobby lobby to troll christians

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naem: May 29, 2011

Hail seitan

Death to the gluten intolerant ok I'm out of trolls

# ? Jul 31, 2014 22:36

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 05:13

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

redshirt posted:

I am the Antichrist AMA.

what's the hardest part about being president?

# ? Jul 31, 2014 22:38

redshirt: Aug 11, 2007; Reporting for shovel mission Sir.

Copley Depot posted:

what's the hardest part about being president?

The meetings.

# ? Jul 31, 2014 23:02

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

I'm glad the wacky satanists are making lovely people uncomfortable.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 03:43

u sp33k l33t br0: Sep 12, 2007; Who Doesn't Like Intercourse?; Soiled Meat

Satan did nothing wrong.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:10

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Rivethead posted:

Just what I thought. Only white people in hell.

You're implying people of mixed / other colors have souls! Hah like any of us have souls.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:16

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Al Borland posted:

You're implying people of mixed / other colors have souls! Hah like any of us have souls.

its been a while but the way a nun explained it to me as a child is you have a soul until you touch your junk, which destroys it. but if someone touches your junk first then they take it and keep it safe? i don't know :confused:

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:24

reignonyourparade: Nov 15, 2012

No what they should do is sue to be allowed to not provide insurance with prenatal care because ABORT ALL BABIES.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:25

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

chaosbreather posted:

its been a while but the way a nun explained it to me as a child is you have a soul until you touch your junk, which destroys it. but if someone touches your junk first then they take it and keep it safe? i don't know

No they steal your soul and then they have it so they can do bad things and blame your soul for it. SO touch people's junk steal their souls and use them as a get out of hell free card.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:27

coolskull: Nov 11, 2007

satanists love children idiot. that's like their thing.

did you people never read a bunch of stupid bullshit books in high school?

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:28

chaosbreather: Dec 9, 2001; Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

Al Borland posted:

No they steal your soul and then they have it so they can do bad things and blame your soul for it. SO touch people's junk steal their souls and use them as a get out of hell free card.

wow your good at jesus you should be a proist

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:34

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

Robo Reagan posted:

yes im sorry this is the forum where we lol at people who think they're cyber dragons, people who think reagan was christ, and people who can't look at a YT video of cats without being triggered

people are gently caress mothering retarded and i can see how they might not think it though unless a doctor sits down and tells them this poo poo

Robo Reagan posted:

unless a doctor sits down and tells them this poo poo

hey uh i have some bad news for u bro

this is what satanists want

# ? Aug 1, 2014 06:52

naem: May 29, 2011

BKPR posted:

satanists love children idiot. that's like their thing.

did you people never read a bunch of stupid bullshit books in high school?

Someone post that book with the illustrations of children forced to perform some bizarre ritual, made by the crazy lady convinced satanists where hypnotizing children at day cares

# ? Aug 1, 2014 07:12

TacticalUrbanHomo: Aug 17, 2011; by Lowtax

satanic splash-back posted:

this is not an rss feed go die

# ? Aug 1, 2014 08:51

CrowsNestMutineer: Mar 9, 2009; _{* Juciano makes the best damned Caesar dressing I've ever tasted in my life.}

Satanists sometimes do good stuff, like when they fight religiously motivated misogynist "informed consent" laws or troll fundamentalists who insist that their religion (but only theirs!) be enshrined in law, but if you actually read the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism, they're almost exactly the same as Randian Objectivism. And vice versa.

What I'm saying is that if you like Atlas Shrugged, you worship Satan.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 12:08

jscolon2.0: Jul 9, 2001; With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

a hole-y ghost posted:

it's not 2. late to hook up

Slam whale Unholy grail

# ? Aug 1, 2014 13:48

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

If I ever start a company I'm going to do it in America because then I can force my employees to swear a bloodoath upon Odin and Frey to avenge my death if needed.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 14:49

psyopmonkey: Nov 15, 2008; by Lowtax

FreudianSlippers posted:

If I ever start a company I'm going to do it in America because then I can force my employees to swear a bloodoath upon Odin and Frey to avenge my death if needed.

Ok Ron Swanson.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 15:11

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

abort all your babies to keep the bending man away

# ? Aug 1, 2014 17:24

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

Satanists sometimes do good stuff, like when they fight religiously motivated misogynist "informed consent" laws or troll fundamentalists who insist that their religion (but only theirs!) be enshrined in law, but if you actually read the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism, they're almost exactly the same as Randian Objectivism. And vice versa.

What I'm saying is that if you like Atlas Shrugged, you worship Satan.

john galt is literally an antichrist

that is to say he embodies the polar opposite of what christ stood for

so while rand paul openly endorses that poo poo, the catholic church is busy chasing after liberal nuns and faggots

:commissar:

# ? Aug 1, 2014 19:21

Robo Reagan: Feb 12, 2012; by Fluffdaddy

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

john galt is literally an antichrist

that is to say he embodies the polar opposite of what christ stood for

so while rand paul openly endorses that poo poo, the catholic church is busy chasing after liberal nuns and faggots

no, antichrist is the one person nobody would believe would be the antichrist according to the bible

so irl Reagan?

# ? Aug 1, 2014 19:26

SirEvelynTremble: Dec 25, 2013; FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Robo Reagan posted:

no, antichrist is the one person nobody would believe would be the antichrist according to the bible

so irl Reagan?

you're biased towards that name

# ? Aug 1, 2014 19:28

a shiny rock: Nov 13, 2009

Glaucus atlanticus posted:

They are the best IRL trolls ever. Thinking of converting to Satanism because I have enjoyed their human rights/secularist work to such an extent.

what else have they done

# ? Aug 1, 2014 19:29

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

Robo Reagan posted:

no, antichrist is the one person nobody would believe would be the antichrist according to the bible

so irl Reagan?

the idea that antichrist is an individual rather than a state of moral failure is a pleasant fiction brewed up by heretics in an attempt to deflect the accusation

# ? Aug 1, 2014 19:55

longtimelurker: Mar 12, 2006; Powered by alcohol

Roki B posted:

Op posts a single loving link and doesn't even add a loving thing to it.

First post doesn't have pictures, explanation, doesn't have poo poo.

Motherfucker, sperglords in D&D and games have better first posts than you.

Quit posting, point a gun into your forehead, and blow your brains out.

kill yourself irl

Hail Satan And Abort All Babies

The church of Satan, a semi farcical religion, has advised followers and non-followers alike that those who object to the Hobby Lobby ruling utilize their form to inform their physicians that they object to any and all restrictions on abortion.

From the article

As the religious right fights to restrict rights via religious exemption, they may find that the standard of religious freedom from the RFRA might work against them. Have they dug too far into the mines of Moria and released the balrog onto the legal landscape?

If anyone thinks the current SCOTUS will support nonchristian exemptions, basically @U, but given the precident this sort of secretarian bickering is inevitable until some type of resolution on the SCOTUS level resolves the hole left open by the Hobby Lobby ruling.

Previous SA Coverage: http://www.somethingawful.com/news/were-all-gonna/

---

There's your OP you bitch idiot hellfucker. I did that in five minutes. Now go steal a gun from a liberal and murder people with it to prove your point you impotent fuckwit.

GBS is poo poo because of you, ZombieJesus. (send him hate PM's or something)

MODs please replace OP

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:18

Kyrie eleison: Jan 26, 2013; by Ralp

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

the idea that antichrist is an individual rather than a state of moral failure is a pleasant fiction brewed up by heretics in an attempt to deflect the accusation

this is correct, there is no singular 'antichrist' in the bible, there are only antichrists who are people who preach a false gospel.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:24

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

Kyrie eleison posted:

this is correct, there is no singular 'antichrist' in the bible, there are only antichrists who are people who preach a false gospel.

to be fair both paul and BoR mention a singular antichrist who will rise up against christ, but BoR is not literal and i wouldnt take paul at face value either

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:36

SirEvelynTremble: Dec 25, 2013; FUCK YOU HITLER
STALINGRAD
ROFLMFAO

Kyrie eleison posted:

this is correct, there is no singular 'antichrist' in the bible, there are only antichrists who are people who preach a false gospel.

but there is the Beast in Revelation whose number is six hundred three-score and six

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:40

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Robo Reagan posted:

no, antichrist is the one person nobody would believe would be the antichrist according to the bible

so irl Reagan?

Ronald Wilson Reagan
6 6 6

every president since Eisenhower has been the antichrist

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:41

Cardiovorax: Jun 5, 2011; I mean, if you're a successful actress and you go out of the house in a skirt and without underwear, knowing that paparazzi are just waiting for opportunities like this and that it has happened many times before, then there's really nobody you can blame for it but yourself.

Satanism is the stupidest thing, but at least they've got a sense of humor. That's more than you can say about most fundies.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 20:42

Kyrie eleison: Jan 26, 2013; by Ralp

GROVER CURES HOUSE posted:

to be fair both paul and BoR mention a singular antichrist who will rise up against christ, but BoR is not literal and i wouldnt take paul at face value either

i hate to be technical, but... the word 'antichrist' is ONLY used in the letters of john, specifically 1 john 2:18-23, 4:3, and 2 john 1:7. neither paul nor revelation uses that word. in other places 'pseudochrists' or 'false messiahs' or 'false prophets' are mentioned such as in matthew 24:24 and mark 13:22. paul talks of the 'lawless one' in 2 thessalonians 2. the bit in revelation 13 refers to the Beast as a singular entity but this is not the word antichrist.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 21:08

big nipples big life: May 12, 2014

Satanists are more tolerable than Internet Atheists� but only a little

# ? Aug 1, 2014 21:32

Queen-Of-Hearts: Mar 17, 2009; "I want to break your heart💔 and give you mine🫀"

redshirt posted:

I am an Antichrist AMA.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 21:36

Catgirl Al Capone: Dec 15, 2007

its actually 696 u lie-spreading heathens

# ? Aug 1, 2014 21:44

Vince MechMahon: Jan 1, 2008

CrowsNestMutineer posted:

Satanists sometimes do good stuff, like when they fight religiously motivated misogynist "informed consent" laws or troll fundamentalists who insist that their religion (but only theirs!) be enshrined in law, but if you actually read the tenets of LaVeyan Satanism, they're almost exactly the same as Randian Objectivism. And vice versa.

What I'm saying is that if you like Atlas Shrugged, you worship Satan.

That's The Church of Satan, these guys are the Satanic Temple. Different groups, and these guys don't charge $200 to join up.

# ? Aug 1, 2014 22:20

Count Freebasie: Jan 12, 2006

Oh, poo poo I'm late to the party here. Hail Satan! (29)

# ? Aug 1, 2014 22:48

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

Kyrie eleison posted:

i hate to be technical, but... the word 'antichrist' is ONLY used in the letters of john, specifically 1 john 2:18-23, 4:3, and 2 john 1:7. neither paul nor revelation uses that word. in other places 'pseudochrists' or 'false messiahs' or 'false prophets' are mentioned such as in matthew 24:24 and mark 13:22. paul talks of the 'lawless one' in 2 thessalonians 2. the bit in revelation 13 refers to the Beast as a singular entity but this is not the word antichrist.

and now im reading papers re: bible translations

biblechat is so much fun with you around :allears:

# ? Aug 1, 2014 23:07

milktwice: Feb 15, 2012

satanists use contemporary issue to attention seek so everyone can see how they are sweet edgemasters in taking 'hail satan' to a new level

# ? Aug 1, 2014 23:29

GROVER CURES HOUSE: Aug 26, 2007; Go on...

milktwice posted:

satanists use contemporary issue to attention seek so everyone can see how they are sweet edgemasters in taking 'hail satan' to a new level

sorry that statue they commissioned is sicknasty

all sins are forgiven :regd10:

# ? Aug 1, 2014 23:35

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 05:13

ZombieJesus: Feb 26, 2005; He died for your sins, he rose for your BRAINS

hey guys I put a ton of effort into the new op for you I hope it pleaeses your need for longwinded bullshit on internet comedy forums, now can we get back to hailing satan and laughing at jesus

# ? Aug 1, 2014 23:39

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Satanists use hobby lobby to troll christians

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