How to quit a job

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A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

cruft posted:

Different place: I was called in to investigate an employee emailing out pornographic photos. From her work computer. Of herself.

was she hot?

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:09

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:11

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

Ben Smash posted:

Being the dog poo poo i am, I spit on a particularly foul salesman's chair a couple times, way back when.

wait what no stop being this kind of person

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:10

cruft

Angry Fish posted:

was she hot?

I was tempted to check on this, since my job was to recover the files, until I thought about it and realized that I really didn't want to find out!

(Because the answer was almost certainly "no")

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:10

Disco_Bandit

Angry Fish posted:

was she hot?

And did you save any of th e pictures

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:10

A Bad King: Suppose the oil man,
He comes to town.
And you don't lay money down.

Yet Mr. King,
He killed the thread
The other day.
Well I wonder.
Who's gonna go to Hell?

cruft posted:

I was tempted to check on this, until I thought about it and realized that I really didn't want to find out!

(Because the answer was almost certainly "no")

it was a rhetorical question of course she was fat.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:10

Bwee

Angry Fish posted:

it was a rhetorical question of course she was fat.

Why's that

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:11

dad gay. so what: by FactsAreUseless

Bo-Pepper posted:

wait what no stop being this kind of person

hes pretty much dog poo poo

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:12

heard u like girls

cut the bottom out of a bunch of coffee cups so when they start the day they start with hotpants

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:17

heard u like girls

pretend yur boss is strangling u and beating yo up and film it

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:20

Ben Smash: LARDROOM

In those reports i do I was catching an exec watching porn on the regular and nobody did poo poo for like 8 months. They didn't fire him but "suddenly" he wasn't hitting those URLs anymore.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:20

heard u like girls

they had to sift thru the evidence obviously

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:22

dad gay. so what: by FactsAreUseless

Ben Smash posted:

In those reports i do I was catching an exec watching porn on the regular and nobody did poo poo for like 8 months. They didn't fire him but "suddenly" he wasn't hitting those URLs anymore.

this is the kind of dog poo poo thant makes people hate you

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:24

heard u like girls

hello dad gay did u get trained here too

# ? Aug 7, 2014 17:35

Ben Smash: LARDROOM

dad gay. so what posted:

this is the kind of dog poo poo thant makes people hate you

Did you, like, search my name to see what posts i've made and then rush in here to poo poo all over me? If so, I applaud your effort. May your fedora forever stay atop your fat head and your sonic the hedgehog slash fiction always be well received.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:10

Disco_Bandit

shotss fired

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:23

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

but seriously though don't spit on people's chairs

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:25

heard u like girls

awaiting in terror for the rebuttal

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:27

Salmiakki

Humans Among Us posted:

awaiting in terror for the rebuttal

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:28

verily carefree

spend progressively more time in the toilet. like first thing you do after you punch in is go to the toilet for 5 minutes. no big deal, you get to work at 8:05.

the next day 6 minutes, then 7, until you get fired.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:28

H.H: August is the Cruelest Month

OP, from your posts assume you are a network engineer.

Here's what you do: unplug all the DMZ routers and any links to a DR site (if you have them), then walk out the door and never look back.

Oh, how many times I've dreamt about doing that sort of thing in past jobs...

# ? Aug 7, 2014 18:38

dad gay. so what: by FactsAreUseless

you are a real piece of dog poo poo, op

# ? Aug 7, 2014 19:04

joke_explainer

Ben Smash posted:

I want to go out in a funny way when I quit this place. Any posters who have chatted with me in BYOB chat know I fuckin' hate my job and the person I work for. The rub is that this place would be an excellent reference but I kind of want to go out in a blaze of glory.

My favorite "I quit" story involves a guy screaming "KIMBO SLICE, MOTHERFUCKERRR" and then breaking his keyboard on his cube wall.

I was thinking about stealing a bunch of pens...

man yelling poo poo or breaking anything isn't funny. people are edgy at work these days, no reason to give people a panic attack that someone is going nuts on the office.

just leave amicably, take your good reference and continue workin on your career.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 19:23

cruft

Dennis Rasmussen posted:

man yelling poo poo or breaking anything isn't funny. people are edgy at work these days, no reason to give people a panic attack that someone is going nuts on the office.

just leave amicably, take your good reference and continue workin on your career.

Good advice but not very funny.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 19:26

Ben Smash: LARDROOM

dad gay. so what posted:

you are a real piece of dog poo poo, op

I get it, i get it.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 20:21

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 08:11

TED BUNNDY: SO HUNGRY

RulerSmack posted:

Smoke a huge blunt in the center of the office. Finish the entire thing before you leave.

# ? Aug 7, 2014 21:13

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > How to quit a job

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