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TCat posted:I like how Pins made a thread for a game just to watch a bunch of people get retard avatars because nobody can shut up about dumb ninja wizards. I'm pretty sure this is just the replacement for the newbie avatar, haven't seen one anywhere anymore.
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Aug 20, 2014 02:57
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I feel bad for everybody who had a parody avatar, now that it's apparently no longer a thing.
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Aug 20, 2014 03:15
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Aug 20, 2014 03:29
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Hey Pins, nice avatar.
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Aug 20, 2014 04:13
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The Deal With The Log is that it's one of the three most basic ninja spells taught to every ninja. They use their magic to swap places with a nearby object. Since it's a video game, it's always a log, and never a rock or statue or anything else. The byakugan is the bloodline gift of the Hyuuga. It gives them eyes that can see in 360 degrees, x-ray vision, and can see magic. The Hyuuga went through ridiculous lengths to keep their eyes from being stolen, so Mist President bodyguard having one is a big deal. dancingbears fucked around with this message at 04:29 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 04:16
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Blind Sally posted:Hey Pins, nice avatar. You can get one too if you comment in his videos.
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Aug 20, 2014 04:16
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dancingbears posted:The Deal With The Log is that it's one of the three most basic ninja spells taught to every ninja. They use their magic to swap places with a nearby object. Since it's a video game, it's always a log, and never a rock or statue or anything else. uh excuse me it's 360 degrees except for one blind spot you'd obviously know this if you watched the anime GOD
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Aug 20, 2014 06:18
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Dryzen posted:uh excuse me it's 360 degrees except for one blind spot you'd obviously know this if you watched the anime GOD Like 360 degrees but only on one axis? That'd be a bitch to deal with growing up as a Hugo ninja.
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Aug 20, 2014 11:42
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loving hell that wasn't wrestling at all
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Aug 20, 2014 13:28
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Dryzen posted:uh excuse me it's 360 degrees except for one blind spot you'd obviously know this if you watched the anime GOD 359 degree vision doesn't sound as impressive and requires me to go into detail about a flaw that is only ever mentioned once.
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Aug 20, 2014 15:10
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Great Joe posted:loving hell that wasn't wrestling at all See why none of us were excited?
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Aug 20, 2014 16:02
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The whole ninja nations thing is probably my favorite thing about Naruto. How societies form and function when a large portion of people are superhuman is a really fun thought experiment and story idea. There's just so much great background fluff that it breaks my heart that so little gets done with it. So here's what's up and the who's who, because I can't stop myself help me. Ninja nations are a new idea in-setting. The Third would have been alive to see the first buildings raised in Hidden Leaf, so maybe 70-80 years ago. Before that, ninjas were warring clans, every man for himself. Then the First Ninja President gets the idea to build a city where a bunch of different ninja clans and civilians could live together and hopefully not kill each other, and talks his way into building the thing. Every ninja immediately sits up and takes notice, because nothing will ruin your day harder than when your enemies start working together. So they band up and build their own ninja cities out of self-defense and paranoia. Ninja nations are mostly mercenary, selling soldiers for everything from babysitting to assassination. Ranking goes from student < baby ninja < midninja < specialized ninja < ninja captain < ninja armykiller < ninja President. At time of writing, with all the stupid DBZ poo poo going down, Naruto and Sasuke are technically still baby ninja. All of the nations serve their country's king, but they run themselves and the king doesn't have much say beyond calling on them in times of war. Hidden Leaf is the the biggest and strongest ninja nation. They have the most bloodlines and they've won all three ninja wars. Even so, they get a lot of flak for being tree hugging hippies and looking down on the rest of them for their war crimes and poo poo, those stuck-up assholes. Hidden Leaf has a reputation for ninja that look harmless and weird until a fight breaks out, which they will immediately end. Leaf ninja are popular with the civilians for being generally peaceful, and since their civilians were part of the Leaf from the very beginning they trust and look up to and out for the ninja. Leaf Black Ops wear animal masks and get respect for taking all the jobs that eat away at you. Hidden Leaf is in Fire Country, which is mostly forest. They probably had a lot more forest fires before the water ninja wizards had time to be firefighters. It's rich land, which means rich civilians, which means rich ninja. Between the Nine Tails rampage, Orochimaru's Sand/Sound invasion, and the recent Akatsuki attack, Hidden Leaf is severely weakened. They might not be number one anymore. Hidden Cloud is about to overtake Leaf as the strongest ninja nation thanks to their constant bids for power. They built their armies during treaties and they have an aggressive bloodline recruitment campaign. It's so aggressive that there've been at least two failed kidnappings of Leaf ninjaladies by Cloud, to breed their own clans of special ninja. There's more information on the second attempt, where a Cloud diplomat stole the three year old Hyuuga clan heir and got murdered for it, and the Cloud President demanded the head of the man who killed his ambassador. Third Leaf President agrees to prevent another war. A pointed out in a cutscene they're the only major ninja nation without representation in Akatsuki, and that still holds true even if we expand that list to include all the minor nations I'll mention later, even footnote Hidden Hot Springs. Cloud hates the Leaf for proving consistently stronger than them and for thwarting their land grabs. Hidden Sand is out in the desert. Harsh surroundings breed hard ninja there. Life's even harder when the King of Wind Country begins outsourcing his missions and support to Leaf instead of Sand. Sand is the smallest, poorest, and weakest of the major nations, but they still have enough clout to get by. Sand and Leaf's history together is the most complex, allies and enemies by turns. Since Naruto befriended and convinced the current Sand President Gary that he's not a demon that exists to kill everyone, Leaf would have to gently caress up pretty hard to lose Sand's support right now. Bloody Mist only just recently overthrew the Fourth Mist President, who was a Three Tails demon vessel. Immediately after he assumed office, he was ambushed and brainwashed by Tobi/Madara, making him do a bunch of murderous nonsense like executions for failure and mandating that ninja students have to kill another classmate to graduate, and was made paranoid enough about bloodlines that they had a civil war and wiped a bunch of their own bloodline clans out. Accordingly, Mist produces the most traitors and they have a reputation for taking the worst kinds of missions. In fact, they have enough traitors to have an entire department of ninja specifically dedicated to killing them. Had they been anywhere else but on an isolated island, they would've been attacked and subjugated for their weakness years ago. The new Mist President Tits McGee is trying to change all that. The Seven Magic Swordsmen were a big deal to them, but almost all of them betrayed Mist and they have only a few Magic Swords left. Hidden Rock in the mountains must have a killer propaganda campaign, because their ninja are famed for being tenacious fuckers who will willingly give their lives for the success of their missions. They're big believers in following orders without questions; you have a problem that needs discretion, you should probably hire a Rock ninja. But then, Rock ninja the most selfish and underhanded bastards around. If you hire them, there's always the chance you'll come out far worse from the deal. Rock was a major player in all three ninja wars, and they nurse a patient hatred against Leaf for constantly besting them. I'm pretty sure Rock President Lasergnome is clinging to life solely to wait for an opening to get a pound of flesh. Hidden Sound was founded by Leaf traitor and Awesome Ninja, Orochimaru. Most of the ninja are genetic and magic experiments. So are a lot of civilians. If you bootstrap hard enough, Orochimaru might give you a hate powered seal and use you as a disposable pawn. Sound is the most spread out of the nations, with secret laboratories hidden in most of the other countries. Sasuke took a swath of Sound ninja out along with Orochimaru, so they aren't too much of a threat right now. Until Orochimaru inevitably revives himself, Sound is led by Kabuto, second in command and almost indistinguishable from Orochimaru in everything but appearance and power. The terrorist doomsday cult Akatsuki is in charge in Hidden Rain, and the citizens couldn't be happier. Being in the middle of three major nations meant their country was a bloody battlefield in every ninja war. They've developed a strong isolationist policy because of that, attacking anybody who enters their lands. Rain managed to keep such a good blackout that nobody really knows that Akatsuki originates from Rain or that they took over leadership when their elderly dictator President died. The founding members of Akatsuki were war orphans, and their leader Pein likes to make sure his citizens have the peace he wanted growing up. They adore him and are convinced he's a god. Of course, Pein died right before the game starts. Divinity these days. Hidden Grass wants to be a major nation when it grows up. They've got their own demon vessel and everything, why does everyone keep picking on them? And the other nations don't matter. Hidden Whirlpool is a gravestone. Hidden Hot Springs was a ninja nation, but they dissolved peacefully. Can we get a map here? Here, lemme scribble in the names. In the game, they're in Iron Country. I have no idea where that is. 
dancingbears fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 16:04
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I'm the country to the east of Rocktown whose symbol looks like a butt
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Aug 20, 2014 17:09
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Trollhawke posted:See why none of us were excited? yes 
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Aug 20, 2014 17:15
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Oh gently caress the memoriiiiiiiiies... I used to be a major fan... Right up until even I couldn't take the stupid-rear end stuff any more. I think I got up to right after Sasuke killed Orochimaru. As mentioned, Orochimaru wanted to take over Sasuke's body, especially since his current one was practically crippled by the Third Hokage's dying curse. He tried approaching his old teammate, Tsunade (who'd been wandering the world), and offered to resurrect her dead family if she'd heal him. She ultimately rejected, and went on to become the Fifth Hokage. He then falls back on his plan to possess Sasuke, and tries to rush him to his base when Sasuke defects. Naruto & co. manage to slow Sasuke down enough that Orochimaru, who's on death's door, is forced to to possess some random schmuck, which locks him out from using that magic again for a few years. gently caress how do I still remember this poo poo?
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Aug 20, 2014 17:35
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Regalingualius posted:gently caress how do I still remember this poo poo?
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Aug 20, 2014 17:39
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Great Joe posted:Same reason so many guys in their 20's can finish "I got so far / and tried so hard / but in the end / ?" IT DOESN'T EVEN Fuuuuuck you. ...Not really.
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Aug 20, 2014 17:44
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Great Joe posted:Same reason so many guys in their 20's can finish "I got so far / and tried so hard / but in the end / ?" Regalingualius posted:I used to be a major fan... Right up until even I couldn't take the stupid-rear end stuff any more. I think I got up to right after Sasuke killed Orochimaru. Supersonic Shine fucked around with this message at 18:30 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 18:25
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Supersonic Shine posted:Eh, I always liked Numb better. I still find that hilarious. The guy who slaughtered all of his family, then forced his little brother to experience it all for what felt like months from his perspective... Was really a hero all along, guys.  Plus, doesn't some really stupid poo poo start happening around this point? I'm talking every dead character coming back.
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Aug 20, 2014 18:51
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Regalingualius posted:I still find that hilarious. The guy who slaughtered all of his family, then forced his little brother to experience it all for what felt like months from his perspective... Was really a hero all along, guys. Yeah, that's not far off. Edit: Oh hey my own avatar! Neat. Edit2: I thought they'd settled on one! Shows me. dancingbears fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Aug 20, 2014 |
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Aug 20, 2014 19:11
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dancingbears posted:Yeah, that's not far off. Nah, they just changed the Stupid Newbie avatar, is all.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:13
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So basically, a lot of people here used to like this animes. But they got turned off after things got hella stupid, which is perfectly reasonable. But we stay because, or at least it's just me, you guys are really taking the piss out of this thing and it's entertaining as hell. Oh, and the lore. Lore is a big reason why I used to enjoy this series.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:14
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"Wreckage" is kind of amazing pronunciation interpretation of Raikage. Though looking at the spelling I just kept seeing "Rage Cage" now. Perhaps because of that.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:16
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Regalingualius posted:I still find that hilarious. The guy who slaughtered all of his family, then forced his little brother to experience it all for what felt like months from his perspective... Was really a hero all along, guys. 
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Aug 20, 2014 19:22
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bman in 2288 posted:So basically, a lot of people here used to like this animes. But they got turned off after things got hella stupid, which is perfectly reasonable. But we stay because, or at least it's just me, you guys are really taking the piss out of this thing and it's entertaining as hell. I stopped reading right before the timeskip and I never watched the show. I kept up on it afterwards because there's a handful of gemstones in every pile of poo poo the author pours out. It's the perfect blend of awesome and repellent. I think I'll write up Akatsuki and what you missed between the Itachi reveal and the game starting next.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:24
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dancingbears posted:The Deal With The Log is that it's one of the three most basic ninja spells taught to every ninja. They use their magic to swap places with a nearby object. Since it's a video game, it's always a log, and never a rock or statue or anything else. The annoying part about that is that they have the means to let you replace it. Like, animation, implementation, bug-testing, all already done (since you CAN replace it in 'free' battles) They even let you unlock other choices during the campaign. But you can only (as far as I know) use them in non-campaign battles. It could potentially add at least a tiny bit of humor by choosing things like replacing a bowl of ramen, the occasional doll, maybe a few hats.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:28
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I'm not sure if it'd make the game better or worse if Naruto exploded into fedoras every time he got hit.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:34
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PoptartsNinja posted:I'm not sure if it'd make the game better or worse if Naruto exploded into fedoras every time he got hit. M'Ninja.  Isn't it Naruto's entire motivation to redeem Sasuke to
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Aug 20, 2014 19:50
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Kgummy posted:"Wreckage" is kind of amazing pronunciation interpretation of Raikage. Though looking at the spelling I just kept seeing "Rage Cage" now. Perhaps because of that. Hoe Cage > Wreckage  Though "K's cage" might be a nice name for an album.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:57
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Regalingualius posted:M'Ninja. At the moment, yes. It wasn't before and it isn't always going to be.
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Aug 20, 2014 19:58
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Regalingualius posted:M'Ninja. I think there's three reasons: 1) He gave his word to Sakura that he'd bring him back, yes. 2) He solves all his problems with his fists, so when he got sad that his friend left, he decided he needed to go punch him in the face until he became his friend again. 3) Sasuke's his 'bro', dude, and a ninja gotta stick up for his 'bro'
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Aug 20, 2014 20:04
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If we're going to be doing bios, I might as well give one for Gary's story starts off somewhat similarly to Naruto's: son of the current ninja president (sand for Gary), local giant animal demon (one-tailed tanuki) sealed inside him, mother died as a result. Unlike Naruto, his father didn't die, and also his father is a gigantic rear end in a top hat. He is also a fuckup, because the seal he did is lovely enough that the demon can take control whenever Gary goes to sleep, so Gary's solution to that is to never sleep, which works for a shockingly long period of time. Gary's eyes have deep black lines around them both because of the lack of sleep and the demon changing his appearance for the same reason that Naruto has whiskers. Sand president/dad didn't care about his son as anything but a weapon to be used by his village. He makes sure that Gary can't have any attachments, going so far as to order the one person who gave a poo poo about him (Gary's uncle/sand president's brother-in-law) to assassinate Gary. Then while he's bleeding out his uncle lies and tells Gary that he had volunteered for the assassination. The betrayal and subsequent killing of his uncle convinces him that he's a monster, who's only good for murdering things. He goes insane, and carves the word "love" into his forehead. Gary's other family (who acted as his bodyguards at the presidential meeting) are his brother and sister, Kankuro and Temari respectively, and they had been taught to fear Gary even though they went on missions as a team. Together, the three of them entered the ninja promotion exams that were being held in leaf town. The three of them effortlessly breeze through every test thanks to Gary effortlessly killing all the nameless competition. They all get to the final test, which is a tournament of 1 on 1 fights, and Gary gets to fight Sausage while Kankuro forfeits his match and Temari's opponent also forfeits (exciting!). Sausage manages to give Gary a little cut and Gary freaks the gently caress out because nobody's ever managed to make him bleed. He goes completely crazy and tries to unleash his inner demon in the middle of leaf town but is forced by his ninja babysitter to do it outside. This actually sets off an invasion early by sand and sound (Awesome Ninja Orochimaru's village) against leaf town that is eventually pushed back with basically the only (named) casualty being the old-rear end leaf president. Anyway, Gary goes full demon outside the village with only Naruto, Sausage, Sakura, Bug Guy and Shikamaru (lazy genius) to stop him. After everyone else is taken out or distracted, Naruto teaches Gaara the lesson of friendship by punching him in the face to knock him out of demon mode. Somehow, Gary learns his lesson and also somehow doesn't get arrested & interrogated by leaf town, so he goes back to his village to atone for his various murders. He comes home to find out his dad is dead and was being impersonated by Orochimaru. Leaf town, being pretty cool guys and also being busy replacing their ho cage/fighting a war with sound, agree that the whole war thing isn't the best idea right now, and forgive sand. Apparently Sand Town goes a few years without a president because Gary is successfully elected despite everyone rightly believing that he was a complete monster a week ago. He patches up his relationship with his siblings as well, and lives happily ever after. At least, until terrorists kidnap him to suck the demon out of him for their super-weapon or whatever. The process of taking the demon out of him is fatal, but he's still alive now because a legendary puppeteer/medic revived him at the cost of her own life. I think that's everything that matters up to this point?
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Aug 21, 2014 03:14
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Well, there's also the matter of how he uses his sand. Long story short, he crushes his opponents like grapes. Big, full of blood grapes.
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Aug 21, 2014 03:40
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Edit: whoops.
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Aug 21, 2014 06:26
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 Special guest appearance towards the end!
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Aug 21, 2014 06:45
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You know this Naruto stuff is silly but it's kind of enjoyable reading this lore anddancingbears posted:Hidden Leaf is in Fire Country, which is mostly forest. NEVER MIND, gently caress THIS, THIS IS JUST TOO RIDICULOUS.
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Aug 21, 2014 06:46
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Things I have learned from this thread: magic bullshit eyes can do literally anything. And also that Killer Bee is amazing, but that is fairly obviously.
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Aug 21, 2014 07:17
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I'm vaguely insomniac-like right now, so I killed some time by googling the stuff that was mentioned during the latest episode. Jinchuriki: The internet tells me that this is probably a term/phrase made up for Naruto to refer to anyone who has a tailed beast sealed inside them. Literally translates to "Strength of the human pillar" or "Strength of human sacrifice." Jutsu: Translates to way, technique, method or trick. Examples: Brazilian Jujutsu, Iajutsu, Kenjutsu and, yes, Ninjutsu. Log!TM: Some kind of weird pop culture thing that survived to the present day. Knights are always chivalrous, Vikings/Barbarians are rage-a-holics, you always scream when firing a large enough machine gun for an extended period of time and Ninjas turn into logs.
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Aug 21, 2014 07:41
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TwoPair posted:You know this Naruto stuff is silly but it's kind of enjoyable reading this lore and It would be ridiculous if the fire nation was made up of a chain of tiny islands where it rained all the time. That might actually be the best thing. All the elemental nations being where it makes the least sense. Air nation lives in underground caves. Water nation lives on the sun/in a volcano. Earth nation is on floating islands. Fire nation is underwater. And everyone treats it as perfectly normal. (But yeah, leaf village being fire nation is kind of ridiculous.)
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Aug 21, 2014 07:52
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Kgummy posted:Well what kind of fire nation would not have plenty of resources to build fires? Besides, one of the more effective methods of fighting forest fires is essentially using more fire. The first ninja president of soon-to-be-leaf-village had unique wood magic AND CREATED THE WHOLE FOREST THE VILLAGE WAS BUILT INTO BY HIMSELF THROUGH MAGIC! And if I recall correctly it's called the fire nation because the people there are the best with using fire magic, not because it's a fiery hellscape. Similarly, the best wind mages are in wind country, the best water magic users are in water country, the best earth magic users are in earth country and the best lightning mages are in lightning country.
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