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Dr Christmas
Apr 24, 2010

Berninating the one percent,
Berninating the Wall St.
Berninating all the people
In their high rise penthouses!
🔥😱🔥🔫👴🏻

Oh god, the story right after.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/unpopular-police-officer-thinking-about-committing,36790/ :smithicide:

In lighter news, ol' Diamond Joe is at it again:
'I'm the guy that loves you': Joe Biden flirts with 108-year-old war veteran

Dr Christmas has a new favorite as of 03:11 on Aug 29, 2014

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Kuvo
Oct 27, 2008

Blame it on the misfortune of your bark!
Fun Shoe

Isn't this a Tintin reference?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Kuvo posted:

Isn't this a Tintin reference?

An eclipse just happening to come along (or being known about in advance due to the dude being a scientist or time-traveler or something) to save explorers/adventurers from savage tribes has been used in a whole ton of media across the decades. Hell, I think it even happened in Duck Tales at some point.

made of bees
May 21, 2013
Earliest example I can think of is A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court.

E: looking it up, apparently it really happened, Columbus did it in Jamaica in 1504.

made of bees has a new favorite as of 00:51 on Aug 29, 2014

Golden Bee
Dec 24, 2009

I came here to chew bubblegum and quote 'They Live', and I'm... at an impasse.
Loving the new Clickhole Quiz.


http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/how-many-grandpas-stories-have-you-heard-797

Wow! You’ve heard just about all of Grandpa’s stories. You’ve heard about the time he stormed the beaches of Normandy in 1973, the time he stole the golden transcontinental railroad spike but put it back later without anyone noticing, and the time he invented Spider-Man by mailing Stan Lee a live tarantula.

Paper Tiger
Jun 17, 2007

🖨️🐯torn apart by idle hands

We've all been there: Man Kicking Self For Wasting Valuable Plate Space At Beginning Of Buffet Line

internet celebrity
Jun 23, 2006

College Slice
I was going to post some quotes but god drat the whole article is hilarious

5 tips to gently caress good

Ishamael
Feb 18, 2004

You don't have to love me, but you will respect me.
8 Reasons Why Cheese Is Better Than A Boyfriend, Though Either Is Better Than Living In A Storm Drain

mobby_6kl
Aug 9, 2009

by Fluffdaddy

Also here: Busted! A Coworker Who Never Dresses Up Thought He Could Wear Nice Clothes And Not Have Everyone Make A Big Deal Out Of It

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

Poor Cramer. :(

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



internet celebrity posted:

I was going to post some quotes but god drat the whole article is hilarious

5 tips to gently caress good

Seriously. "While you are loving your sexual lover, scream loud and smash many porcelain dolls."

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Charmin Introduces New Disposable Toilet Paper

Meta-Mollusk
May 2, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Grimey Drawer

This is the worst and happens to me every time. :smith:

RC and Moon Pie
May 5, 2011

People Said I Was Crazy To Abandon My Family To Search For Buried Treasure, But 30 Years Later I’m Closer Than Ever To Finding It

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug
It's short but it's my favorite because it totally inverts your typical feel good spiritual journey.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/journey-of-selfdiscovery-leads-man-to-realization,19100/

Coffee And Pie
Nov 4, 2010

"Blah-sum"?
More like "Blawesome"
This one is pretty loving intense.

That DICK!
Sep 28, 2010

best clickhole quiz yet

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/did-you-talk-your-old-man-about-idea-i-had-719?utm_campaign=default&utm_medium=ShareTools&utm_source=facebook

prefect
Sep 11, 2001

No one, Woodhouse.
No one.




Dead Man’s Band

I really want this to be 100% true. :pray:

pitlo
Dec 30, 2004

You won't get anything
done by planning.

This one really is. I am a sucker for whenever they go in any sort of "genre" writing style.

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

I love it whenever the onion reports on real news.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


That's probably the best American Voices that they've done.

reitetsu
Sep 27, 2009

Should you find yourself here one day... In accordance with your crimes, you can rest assured I will give you the treatment you deserve.

Tunicate posted:

I love it whenever the onion reports on real news.

Brian Goodwin – Web Forum Moderator posted:

“Trust me, when they see my physique, they won’t need me to ask."

net cafe scandal
Mar 18, 2011


Looool

twerking on the railroad
Jun 23, 2007

Get on my level

Golden Bee posted:

The best thing about clickhole tags is they only have 1 article per tag. They're intentionally useless.

Not true!

http://www.clickhole.com/search?tags=inspiring

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


http://www.clickhole.com/search?tags=wow has two pages of results.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
I said it earlier, but this quiz has the best tags:
http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-one-those-shape-guys-are-you-hats-607

http://www.clickhole.com/search?tags=shape-guys

AgentHaiTo
Feb 7, 2003

Well, isn't this a coincidence? So, um, how you doing? You're busy, I know and I don't want to distract you, please, don't let me interrupt you.

Now I want to buy some mason jars.

Dr_Amazing
Apr 15, 2006

It's a long story

I remember these guys too. What were they actually called?

edit: Oh yeah mr men.

ibntumart
Mar 18, 2007

Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
College Slice

AgentHaiTo posted:

Now I want to buy some mason jars.

That's kind of freaky to me... I actually bought a box of Ball Mason jars on the 26th.

loving changed my life. :rock: Well, they are kind of pretty for jars, I guess, and my wife will be able to can a crapload of quince preserves next summer now.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Americans Take Day Off From Looking For Work

KillHour
Oct 28, 2007


AgentHaiTo posted:

Now I want to buy some mason jars.

The best part is that it's not really a joke. The guy's loaded as gently caress.

http://www1.salary.com/James-E-Lillie-Salary-Bonus-Stock-Options-for-JARDEN-CORP.html

Coffee And Pie
Nov 4, 2010

"Blah-sum"?
More like "Blawesome"
http://www.clickhole.com/blogpost/i...source=facebook

:smith:

Evil Mastermind
Apr 28, 2008

Chexoid
Nov 5, 2009

Now that I have this dating robot I can take it easy.

hahahah this is literally my parents.jpg.

My mom warns me against the ice bucket challenge like it's some new drug going around school.

Alpha3KV
Mar 30, 2011

Quex Chest
Clickhole quizzes are so good.

http://www.clickhole.com/quiz/which-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtle-thundercat-or-fr-824

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Is Orko the only result?

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

muscles like this? posted:

Is Orko the only result?

No, I got Cheetarah. Or Donatello. Or Cheetarah.

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
I got Red Fraggle

Edit:

You can also get You’re Probably Either Leonardo Or Lion-O

Dr. Arbitrary
Mar 15, 2006

Bleak Gremlin
Clickhole is absolutely reinventing the art of the quiz:

How Low Can You Go?

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shut up blegum
Dec 17, 2008


--->Plastic Lawn<---
Stumbled upon this article, they updated it. :allears:

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