The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

Technogeek: Sep 9, 2002; by FactsAreUseless

ThNextGreenLantern posted:

This particular flag is ridiculously out-of-date.
The library must have purchased it during the brief period in 1912 after New Mexico became a state, but before Arizona did.

Hey, there's a new Mexico.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 03:07

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# ? May 3, 2024 10:58

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Drink-Mix Man posted:

We have some new pamphlets available in our church newsrack, including "Bible Bafflers," "Satan's Boners," "Good Grief! More Satan's Boners," and for the teens, "It's Not Cool to Fry in Hell."

Card table for sale. Top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 03:08

Shawn Cotureier: Jan 21, 2009; Still better than Umberger

IMJack posted:

Card table for sale. Top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.

Free Tramampoline! Trampopoline! :holy:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 03:11

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Technogeek posted:

Only here, and in Mississippi.

Yeah, right. No jury in the world would convict a baby.

Mmm... maybe Texas.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 03:12

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

ebilflindas posted:

Look Homer, all of us pull a few boners now and then, go off half cocked, make asses of ourselves. So I don't wanna be hard on you, I just wish you wouldn't curse in front of my boys.

Now Homer, I know what you're thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now it doesn't take a whiz to know that you're looking out for number one. Well listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 03:37

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

IMJack posted:

Card table for sale. Top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.

Ninety dollars.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 04:01

JethroMcB: Jan 23, 2004; We're normal now.
We love your family.

Writer Cath posted:

Ninety dollars.

And what do you get for the man who has everything? A tie rack motor!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 04:31

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

gary oldmans diary posted:

Now Homer, I know what you're thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now it doesn't take a whiz to know that you're looking out for number one. Well listen to me, and you'll make a big splash very soon.

No offense lady, but what you don't know could fill a warehouse.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 04:46

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

IMJack posted:

Card table for sale. Top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.

Hmmm, one dollar? And it only transports matter? I'll give you 35 cents.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 04:58

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

IMJack posted:

Card table for sale. Top badly damaged, leg missing, otherwise fine. One dollar or best offer.

Ooh! The Springfield Men's Shelter is giving away sixty soiled mattresses! :v:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:02

Root Bear: Nov 15, 2004; DARKEST SKETCH

Writer Cath posted:

Ninety dollars.

I'll give you fifty bucks. :colbert:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:05

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Do over Ham posted:

Ooh! The Springfield Men's Shelter is giving away sixty soiled mattresses!

Two pizzas for the price of one at Doughy's! :aaa:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:13

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

Do over Ham posted:

Ooh! The Springfield Men's Shelter is giving away sixty soiled mattresses!

Don't bring home any more used crutches...

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:15

Everything Counts: Oct 10, 2012; Don't "shhh!" me, you rich bastard!

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Two pizzas for the price of one at Doughy's!

What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

# ? Sep 4, 2014 05:33

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Don't bring home any more used crutches...

And here I am using my own legs like a sucker.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 06:40

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

Technogeek posted:

Hey, there's a new Mexico.

memorize these funny place names: Walla Walla. Keokuk. Cucamonga. Seattle!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:02

Deviant: Sep 26, 2003; i've forgotten all of your names.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

And here I am using my own legs like a sucker.

Make your move like this.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:03

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Don't bring home any more used crutches...

Old newspapers!? Coat-hangers?! Expired medicine! Quick you fool, get them in the house!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:17

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Everything Counts posted:

What if one of us has been good and one of us has been bad?

That's right, keep eating... Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut!

There is a poison one, isn't there, Do over Ham?

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:19

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

IMJack posted:

That's right, keep eating... Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut!

There is a poison one, isn't there, Do over Ham?

Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 07:44

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

IMJack posted:

That's right, keep eating... Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut!

There is a poison one, isn't there, Do over Ham?

Oh...wouldn't you like to know. :ninja:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 08:48

The Dennis System: Aug 4, 2014; Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Ironic, isn't it Smithers. This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That's democracy for you!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 09:36

After The War: Apr 12, 2005; to all of my Architects
let me be traitor

IMJack posted:

Yeah, right. No jury in the world would convict a baby.

Mmm... maybe Texas.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 13:31

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

IMJack posted:

That's right, keep eating... Little do you know you're drawing ever closer to the poison donut!

There is a poison one, isn't there, Do over Ham?

Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change. :rolleyes:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 13:44

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.

I paid for a colossal donut and I'm going to get a colossal donut! :mad:

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:10

Writer Cath: Apr 1, 2007; Box. Flipped.; Plaster Town Cop

Root Bear posted:

I'll give you fifty bucks.

No, just candy. Ninety dollars.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 14:15

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.

CharlieFoxtrot, he's out of control. He gave me a bad review. So my friend put a horse head on the bed. He ate the head and gave it a bad review! True story.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 15:31

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Err...no, sir. I discussed this with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

drat their oily hides!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 19:19

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Come on, you're going to kill him with a pastry? I've seen this man eat a bowl of change.

That kid's like the roadrunner. He won't go down!

# ? Sep 4, 2014 20:03

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Skeesix posted:

drat their oily hides!

I'll say. Look at that red-headed kid. There must be twenty dollars worth of grease on his forehead alone.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 21:06

ThNextGreenLantern: Feb 13, 2012

IMJack posted:

That kid's like the roadrunner. He won't go down!

Oh, that's nothing. He can HEAR pudding.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 21:18

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

ThNextGreenLantern posted:

Oh, that's nothing. He can HEAR pudding.

No, they're really burning! I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-tip.

# ? Sep 4, 2014 22:20

Class3KillStorm: Feb 17, 2011

Applewhite posted:

No, they're really burning! I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-tip.

Shut up, brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip!

# ? Sep 5, 2014 02:06

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Applewhite posted:

No, they're really burning! I wanted to see inside so I lit a Q-tip.

Hospital, please.

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:15

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

gary oldmans diary posted:

Hospital, please.

Did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:29

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

gary oldmans diary posted:

Hospital, please.

gary oldman's diary was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.

He was then transferred to a better hospital, where doctors upgraded his condition to "alive".

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:42

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

IMJack posted:

where doctors upgraded his condition to "alive".

No thanks to the plane.

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:46

jscolon2.0: Jul 9, 2001; With great payroll, comes great disappointment.

IMJack posted:

gary oldman's diary was rushed to a nearby hospital where he was pronounced dead.

He was then transferred to a better hospital, where doctors upgraded his condition to "alive".

Remember that old Plymouth we just couldn't fix?

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:54

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Jerusalem posted:

No thanks to the plane.

Pass me another hunk of co-pilot.

# ? Sep 5, 2014 04:55

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# ? May 3, 2024 10:58

Class3KillStorm: Feb 17, 2011

jscolon2.0 posted:

Remember that old Plymouth we just couldn't fix?

You're a dull boy, jscolon2.0.

# ? Sep 5, 2014 05:15

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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