More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Gyshall: Feb 24, 2009; Had a couple of drinks.
Saw a couple of things.

Lmao people not using BMC in TYOOL2015.

poo poo that pisses me off: flying three hours to do data center work and being told on touch down the maintenance window has been moved to next week.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 02:52

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 17:07

stuxracer: May 4, 2006

I don't do datacenter work, but I have had that happen before. Land with my phone going nuts "do not fly out today!!!!"
It was a cool vacation I guess since flying back and forth was more expensive than the hotel stay and I can work remote. Hotel laundry was pro. Each pair of socks, underwear, etc. all wrapped in tissue paper and in boxes.

I know earlier license chat came up about Microsoft and some other big guys. What is bothering me lately is a smaller vendor just beating around the bush about what we get, for how many people, for what price. I get it. You want to make $x off a client of our size, just give us a number that doesn't have disclaimers about "partial access" to core components or whatever other random words they toss around. We have a group that normally handles all of this for us, but the negotiations always have some stupid language in it that forces us to inquire/counter that needs feedback from the group funding this. Ugh.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 03:20

22 Eargesplitten: Oct 10, 2010

stuxracer posted:

It was a cool vacation I guess since flying back and forth was more expensive than the hotel stay and I can work remote. Hotel laundry was pro. Each pair of socks, underwear, etc. all wrapped in tissue paper and in boxes.

That sounds cool, but on the other hand I always hate going overnight to places. I would probably be in the worst mood having to stay for multiple days.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 04:12

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

I've been phone screening candidates for a senior technical position and what has become a very good indicator of how the phone screen will go is the seemingly innocuous questions, "What is the difference between TCP and UDP?" followed by "When would you use one over the other?"

Of the twenty-plus candidates I've screened in the last six months, only two have known the difference and those two have landed jobs here. It's become such a good indicator that I've moved it up to the very front of the screen, even before the "what are you currently doing now" and "Why are you choosing to interview with us" chitchat. If you blow this question, odds are that you will blow the rest of the interview. Sure, I'll ask a few more questions to verify what question one already tells me, but you'd better kick rear end on them or this hour phone screen will be over in twenty minutes.

Correlation, causation, etc. But still, learn the loving basics of the network protocol that the entire internet uses fer chrissakes.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 04:42

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Agrikk posted:

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

I've been phone screening candidates for a senior technical position and what has become a very good indicator of how the phone screen will go is the seemingly innocuous questions, "What is the difference between TCP and UDP?" followed by "When would you use one over the other?"

Of the twenty-plus candidates I've screened in the last six months, only two have known the difference and those two have landed jobs here. It's become such a good indicator that I've moved it up to the very front of the screen, even before the "what are you currently doing now" and "Why are you choosing to interview with us" chitchat. If you blow this question, odds are that you will blow the rest of the interview. Sure, I'll ask a few more questions to verify what question one already tells me, but you'd better kick rear end on them or this hour phone screen will be over in twenty minutes.

Correlation, causation, etc. But still, learn the loving basics of the network protocol that the entire internet uses fer chrissakes.

Look it man, UDP drives like this, TCP drives like *this*

# ? Mar 18, 2015 04:52

icehewk: Jul 7, 2003; Congratulations on not getting fit in 2011!

Agrikk posted:

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

If that's the baseline for senior technical, I'm in!

# ? Mar 18, 2015 05:02

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Agrikk posted:

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

I've been phone screening candidates for a senior technical position and what has become a very good indicator of how the phone screen will go is the seemingly innocuous questions, "What is the difference between TCP and UDP?" followed by "When would you use one over the other?"

If I responded with "Would you like to hear a TCP joke?" would that be points for or against me?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 05:05

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

Agrikk posted:

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

What position are you hiring for?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 05:23

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Tab8715 posted:

What position are you hiring for?

Well, I'm going to guess something infrastructure related. After that, does it matter? That's foundational knowledge. It's one of the questions in our phone screen we use in my group. We start easy with questions like that and then ramp up the difficulty and start focusing more on the technology and concepts related to the position. We never expect someone to answer all the questions, it's a good way to test the limits of their knowledge and gives us a rough idea of any gaps that will need to be addressed if hired. But if the limits are at fundamental concepts like the difference between TCP and UDP and being able to give an explanation of subnets, then we're not going to spend a lot more time on that person.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 05:56

Mrit: Sep 26, 2007; by exmarx; Grimey Drawer

Agrikk posted:

Okay everyone:

For the love of all that is good and righteous, please learn the difference between TCP and UDP.

I've been phone screening candidates for a senior technical position and what has become a very good indicator of how the phone screen will go is the seemingly innocuous questions, "What is the difference between TCP and UDP?" followed by "When would you use one over the other?"

Of the twenty-plus candidates I've screened in the last six months, only two have known the difference and those two have landed jobs here. It's become such a good indicator that I've moved it up to the very front of the screen, even before the "what are you currently doing now" and "Why are you choosing to interview with us" chitchat. If you blow this question, odds are that you will blow the rest of the interview. Sure, I'll ask a few more questions to verify what question one already tells me, but you'd better kick rear end on them or this hour phone screen will be over in twenty minutes.

Correlation, causation, etc. But still, learn the loving basics of the network protocol that the entire internet uses fer chrissakes.

How the crap do people interviewing for senior positions not understand stuff like that? How can you manage a network without understanding(rather basic) core technologies?

It gives me hope that once I finish my ICND2 in a few weeks, I will dazzle interviewers by knowing(at least) the basic stuff.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 06:03

Alliterate Addict: Jul 10, 2012; dreaming of that face again

it's bright and blue and shimmering

grinning wide and comforting me with it's three warm and wild eyes

Mrit posted:

How the crap do people interviewing for senior positions not understand stuff like that? How can you manage a network without understanding(rather basic) core technologies?

Did you ever read the original FizzBuzz article? The only thing more depressing than realising that most of the people in tech jobs are completely incompetent is the realization that they're still probably getting paid more than you. Or that they have jobs in the first place, if you're unemployed.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 08:29

NZAmoeba: Feb 14, 2005; It turns out it's MAN!; Hair Elf

This is my first year of being a team lead, and now I have to fill out the performance reviews for my staff. I never even liked filling these out when it was just my own review, I would compare it to gouging out my own eyeballs with a spoon. Having to do this for 6 people is just... urgh...

# ? Mar 18, 2015 10:16

Crowley: Mar 13, 2003

Inspector_666 posted:

If I responded with "Would you like to hear a TCP joke?" would that be points for or against me?

Well, Are you going to tell it or what?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 10:20

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Crowley posted:

Well, Are you going to tell it or what?

Wouldn't any knock knock joke be a TCP joke?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 10:51

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

Crowley posted:

Well, Are you going to tell it or what?

He could tell you a UDP joke instead, but you might not get it.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 11:04

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

The punchline might arrive before the joke.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 11:09

Crowley: Mar 13, 2003

anthonypants posted:

Wouldn't any knock knock joke be a TCP joke?

Bleh. I was hoping it would be an actual good joke.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 11:21

guppy: Sep 21, 2004; sting like a byob

Crowley posted:

Bleh. I was hoping it would be an actual good joke.

Sweevo's was good.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 12:57

Collateral Damage: Jun 13, 2009

Crowley posted:

Bleh. I was hoping it would be an actual good joke.

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I�d like to hear a TCP joke."
"I�ll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"I'm about to tell the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"I�m sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

# ? Mar 18, 2015 13:09

GargleBlaster: Mar 17, 2008; Stupid Narutard

If you're not laughing hard enough at TCP jokes, then you'd better open some port.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 13:30

Kyrosiris: May 24, 2006; You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".

Collateral Damage posted:

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I�d like to hear a TCP joke."
"I�ll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"I'm about to tell the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"I�m sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

Maybe it's how poorly I slept last night but holy poo poo I'm grinning like an idiot at this.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 13:37

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Collateral Damage posted:

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I�d like to hear a TCP joke."
"I�ll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"I'm about to tell the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"I�m sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

# ? Mar 18, 2015 14:05

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

Do you know what the problem with UDP jokes is?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 14:14

corgski: Feb 6, 2007; Silly goose, you're here forever.

Jeoh posted:

Do you know what the problem with UDP jokes is?

Do you know what the problem with UDP jokes is?

(E: Actually that's an ICMP joke. Nevermind.)

# ? Mar 18, 2015 14:25

Gucci Loafers: May 20, 2006; Ask yourself, do you really want to talk to pair of really nice gaudy shoes?

flosofl posted:

Well, I'm going to guess something infrastructure related. After that, does it matter? That's foundational knowledge. It's one of the questions in our phone screen we use in my group. We start easy with questions like that and then ramp up the difficulty and start focusing more on the technology and concepts related to the position. We never expect someone to answer all the questions, it's a good way to test the limits of their knowledge and gives us a rough idea of any gaps that will need to be addressed if hired. But if the limits are at fundamental concepts like the difference between TCP and UDP and being able to give an explanation of subnets, then we're not going to spend a lot more time on that person.

I'm not disputing that it's a bad question. It's a standard one to ask even for entry-level positions but I am curious as to what the answer he was looking for.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 14:31

NeuralSpark: Apr 16, 2004

thelightguy posted:

Do you know what the problem with UDP jokes is?

Do you know with UDP jokes is? what the problem

# ? Mar 18, 2015 14:40

hihifellow: Jun 17, 2005; seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

gently caress all printers and the desktop support staff that so badly want to blame the print server because they can't trouble shoot basic printer issues. If I get dragged in to one more "printer doesn't work" ticket and end up having to tell these idiots how to do their job I'm telling my boss she needs to fire them all and just let our printer MSP handle it all.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 15:53

22 Eargesplitten: Oct 10, 2010

We have a terrible sharepoint site for our procedural documentation. In general, about 10% of the searches I do bring up the document I'm looking for. Even the majority of the time, if I copy and paste the title of a document that someone provides for me, it doesn't show up. And now I'm getting in trouble for not following the right steps in de-installing a printer for an obscure account, when I was following the only piece of documentation I could find on it.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:11

psydude: Apr 1, 2008

Customer has 8 virtual vyatta firewall instances, each with about 40-50 ACLs, that need to be consolidated down to 3 virtual ASAs. :psyduck:

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:22

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

Tab8715 posted:

I'm not disputing that it's a bad question. It's a standard one to ask even for entry-level positions but I am curious as to what the answer he was looking for.

Ah, I misunderstood where you going with that.

I know for my team, we really want to hear something along the lines of connection-oriented vs. connectionless. They can go into as much (or as little) detail they want for that question, but I want to hear those key phrases.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:36

Kazinsal: Dec 13, 2011

NeuralSpark posted:

Do you know with UDP jokes is? what the problem

Want to hear a SYN flood joke? Want to hear a SYN flood joke? Want to hear a SYN flood joke? Want to hear a SYN flood joke? Want to hear a SYN flood joke? Want to hear a SYN flood joke?

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:42

Spazz: Nov 17, 2005

22 Eargesplitten posted:

We have a terrible sharepoint site for our procedural documentation. In general, about 10% of the searches I do bring up the document I'm looking for. Even the majority of the time, if I copy and paste the title of a document that someone provides for me, it doesn't show up.

Sounds like it wasn't configured. Also, if no PDFs are showing up it's because SharePoint 2010 doesn't include them in the crawler by default.

https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/kb/2293357
https://support.microsoft.com/en-us/kb/927675

Just don't forget to tune your crawl rules or else a badly behaving full crawl can crash the entire farm. Woo, SharePoint!

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:42

22 Eargesplitten: Oct 10, 2010

Oh, no. I'm not one of the sharepoint admins (although I wouldn't be surprised if you're right). I'm just one of the people that has to use it every other day or so. And given how under-manned we have been on a consistent basis, and how nobody in the company has gotten a raise in 4-5 years, I'm guessing the sharepoint admins are too busy or too underpaid to fix it.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 16:49

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Crowley posted:

Bleh. I was hoping it would be an actual good joke.

Collateral Damage posted:

"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I�d like to hear a TCP joke."
"I�ll tell you a TCP joke."
"Ok, I will hear a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"I'm about to tell the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"Ok, I am ready to get your TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and ends with a punchline."
"I�m sorry, your connection has timed out. Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"

This is what I was going for, yes.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 18:14

RFC2324: Jun 7, 2012; http 418

22 Eargesplitten posted:

We have a terrible sharepoint site for our procedural documentation. In general, about 10% of the searches I do bring up the document I'm looking for. Even the majority of the time, if I copy and paste the title of a document that someone provides for me, it doesn't show up. And now I'm getting in trouble for not following the right steps in de-installing a printer for an obscure account, when I was following the only piece of documentation I could find on it.

This sounds like our process doc site... but we use mediawiki.

How do you gently caress up the search engine in mediawiki? :smithicide:

# ? Mar 18, 2015 18:46

Simpleboo: Oct 19, 2013

psydude posted:

Customer has 8 virtual vyatta firewall instances, each with about 40-50 ACLs, that need to be consolidated down to 3 virtual ASAs.

Sounds like fun :suicide:

# ? Mar 18, 2015 19:01

nielsm: Jun 1, 2009

Oracle.

Oracle pisses me off.

How does anyone think a workflow like this is a good idea?
Log onto website, launch Java application from website, enter stuff into Java application, have it send you an email with an attached file, go back into a different part of the website, upload data file and specify some magic parameters on how to parse it (the data format delivered by the Java application by email isn't parseable by any of the default options), have the website deliver you a magical Excel file with an embedded macro and XML embedded in a cell, the macro runs and parses the XML and uses that to launch an Internet Explorer window embedded in Excel, some weird magic happens between Javascript, serverside and Excel, and another temporary/unnamed Excel file is spawned which contains yet more macromagickery, which will proceed to download further data from the web service and then present that.
Of course all that Excel macro magic is heavily dependent on Excel version, IE version, Excel configuration, IE configuration, and possibly more things I can't imagine, and it breaks in the most impossible to debug ways.

gently caress enterprise applications.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 19:02

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

My old roommate was an Oracle DBA for a big company. He worked from home (and very infrequently did work, at that) but made buckets of money.

So I guess that's the trade-off you make for dealing with it.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 19:11

evol262: Nov 30, 2010; #!/usr/bin/perl

nielsm posted:

Oracle.

Oracle pisses me off.

How does anyone think a workflow like this is a good idea?
Log onto website, launch Java application from website, enter stuff into Java application, have it send you an email with an attached file, go back into a different part of the website, upload data file and specify some magic parameters on how to parse it (the data format delivered by the Java application by email isn't parseable by any of the default options), have the website deliver you a magical Excel file with an embedded macro and XML embedded in a cell, the macro runs and parses the XML and uses that to launch an Internet Explorer window embedded in Excel, some weird magic happens between Javascript, serverside and Excel, and another temporary/unnamed Excel file is spawned which contains yet more macromagickery, which will proceed to download further data from the web service and then present that.
Of course all that Excel macro magic is heavily dependent on Excel version, IE version, Excel configuration, IE configuration, and possibly more things I can't imagine, and it breaks in the most impossible to debug ways.

gently caress enterprise applications.

Oracle Middleware is totally different from Oracle Database, and Oracle hardware, and Oracle Solaris (hurts to say it), and Oracle Enterprise Linux, and Oracle Virtualbox, and...

But that's super pedantic.

Most of the time when people say "Oracle", they mean "Oracle database". Not Oracle Application Server or Oracle Weblogic Server or Oracle Enterprise Manager or any other part of the terrible middleware suite which isn't provably better or worse than any other terrible middleware suite.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 19:27

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 17:07

Lightning Jim: Nov 18, 2006; Just a mad weather-ologist

Yes, it may be different, but Oracle Enterprise Linux and Unix (Solaris) is also crap.

# ? Mar 18, 2015 19:40

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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