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TMMadman posted:This gentleman here can write better fortunes than all of you put together. Show them. Eh, open up the "stick with your wife" barrel
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May 1, 2015 05:33
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Ainsley McTree posted:Eh, open up the "stick with your wife" barrel ....Maude, eh?
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May 1, 2015 05:48
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TMMadman posted:This gentleman here can write better fortunes than all of you put together. Show them. You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial.
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May 1, 2015 05:56
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Do over Ham posted:You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial. 
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May 1, 2015 08:01
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Guys, maybe Do Over Ham should have to take a different oath...
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May 1, 2015 08:07
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That's a half-truth! 
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May 1, 2015 08:10
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Skeesix posted:Guys, maybe Do Over Ham should have to take a different oath... No no no skeesix, you got the royal... Uh... Sampler.
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May 1, 2015 08:13
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Skeesix posted:Guys, maybe Do Over Ham should have to take a different oath... Instead, find you grappling with local oaf. 
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May 1, 2015 10:05
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Do over Ham posted:Instead, find you grappling with local oaf.  I ought to club them and eat their bones.
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May 1, 2015 12:55
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Writer Cath posted:
Use an open-faced club! The sand wedge!
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May 1, 2015 13:01
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DizzyBum posted:Use an open-faced club! The sand wedge! You. Have. Entered. POWER DRIVE. Now. Push. Seven. Eight. Seven. To swing.
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May 1, 2015 13:17
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DizzyBum posted:Use an open-faced club! The sand wedge! You can keep the shoes.
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May 1, 2015 13:29
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Writer Cath posted:
In fact, you might even say we just ate Do Over Ham and he's in our stomachs right now! Wait, scratch that one.
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May 1, 2015 13:58
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Neddy Seagoon posted:You. Have. Entered. POWER DRIVE. 
DizzyBum fucked around with this message at 14:11 on May 1, 2015 |
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May 1, 2015 14:08
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 " Poison Delivery Service. A gift basket of poison is on its way!"
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May 1, 2015 14:26
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The number you have dialed can no longer be reached on this phone. You negligent monster.
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May 1, 2015 15:01
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The fingers you have used to post... are too fat. To obtain a special typing wand, please mash the keyboard with your palm now.
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May 1, 2015 15:02
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Neddy Seagoon posted:
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May 1, 2015 16:04
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Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides.
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May 1, 2015 16:11
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BloodDesk UnderHell posted:Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides. That was a regular Krusty-O, BloodDesk.
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May 1, 2015 16:15
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BloodDesk UnderHell posted:Oh, boy! This thing is shredding my insides.  What's wrong with my sundaes?
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May 1, 2015 16:18
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DizzyBum posted:
You've barely touched your Banana Kaboom.
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May 1, 2015 16:26
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DizzyBum posted:
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May 1, 2015 16:27
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Writer Cath posted:You can keep the shoes. Let's start with mega saver secret number 1: You gotta squeeze every penny. You see this tux? I got it cheap, cause Roy Cohn died in it. That fancy yacht? A bargain, cause it smells like cat pee. And those beautiful women? They used to be men.
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May 1, 2015 17:23
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Writer Cath posted:You can keep the shoes. Well, pardon me, Mr. Gucci loafers. Boardroom Jimmy posted:Let's start with mega saver secret number 1: You gotta squeeze every penny. You see this tux? I got it cheap, cause Roy Cohn died in it. That fancy yacht? A bargain, cause it smells like cat pee. And those beautiful women? They used to be men. Well, la-de-da, Mr. Park Avenue manicure!
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May 1, 2015 17:36
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:Let's start with mega saver secret number 1: You gotta squeeze every penny. You see this tux? I got it cheap, cause Roy Cohn died in it. That fancy yacht? A bargain, cause it smells like cat pee. And those beautiful women? They used to be men. After Chernobyl, my penis is falling off.
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May 1, 2015 17:36
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Hi-C and fluffernutters!
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May 1, 2015 18:48
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The Nastier Nate posted:Hi-C and fluffernutters! Only 3 cavities, your best checkup ever. I've made your favorite: butterscotch chicken.
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May 1, 2015 19:20
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DizzyBum posted:
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May 1, 2015 19:50
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You have selected: regicide. If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press "one."
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May 1, 2015 21:55
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Everything Counts posted:You have selected: regicide. If you know the name of the King or Queen being murdered, press "one." If I didn't have this dialing wand, the King of England could just walk in here any time he wants and start shoving you around. Do you want that?  Huh?
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May 2, 2015 00:55
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The Nastier Nate posted:Hi-C and fluffernutters! Nachos, Flanders style! That's cucumbers and cottage cheese.
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May 2, 2015 00:57
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IMJack posted:Nachos, Flanders style! That's cucumbers and cottage cheese. If both of you have been good, pizza. If you've been bad, um... let's see, poison.
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May 2, 2015 01:56
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Oh LOCUST FART HELL, you and your stories. "IMJack is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now, let's go back to that... place. Where our couch and TV... is.
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May 2, 2015 02:08
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LOCUST FART HELL posted:If both of you have been good, pizza. If you've been bad, um... let's see, poison. Mr. FART HELL, I was just going through your garbage and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
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May 2, 2015 02:46
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Oh LOCUST FART HELL, you and your stories. "IMJack is a vampire." "Beer kills brain cells." Now, let's go back to that... place. Where our couch and TV... is. JohnnyCanuck? Where's that metal dealie.. you use... to dig... food?
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May 2, 2015 02:56
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Boardroom Jimmy posted:Mr. FART HELL, I was just going through your garbage and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour. What's this? Wire hangers. Expired medicine. Old newspapers! Okay, Jimmy, stay calm. Just quietly get this stuff inside your house.
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May 2, 2015 03:20
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TMMadman posted:What's this? Wire hangers. Expired medicine. Old newspapers! Okay, Jimmy, stay calm. Just quietly get this stuff inside your house. Don't bring home any more used crutches!
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May 2, 2015 03:31
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JohnnyCanuck posted:IMJack is a vampire. Well I do have a life outside this thread, y'know.
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May 2, 2015 03:35
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IMJack posted:Well I do have a life outside this thread, y'know. We have to kill the IMJack!
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May 2, 2015 03:54
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