UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

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The Big Taff Man: Nov 22, 2005; Official Manchester United Posting Partner 2015/16; Fan of Britches

mfcrocker posted:

A good review but not enough underage twerking for its target audience. 8/10

Heres a Behind The Video fact - a PR team got in touch with me after that video and sent me some free Fosters. Can The Big Taff Man be bought for a positive review?

# ? Oct 1, 2015 14:47

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 04:54

Quote-Unquote: Oct 22, 2002

Fosters tastes like all lager in lovely clubs where they haven't cleaned the taps forever

Like even if you are drinking it from a bottle it tastes like that

# ? Oct 1, 2015 14:48

Phoon: Apr 23, 2010

Fluo posted:

is this years any good?

last year was terrible and was embarrassing how little there was in it compared to madden and fifa etc

they added everything back in and also improved ultimate team to be closer to the others in the series ie better coin rewards, single player seasons

the only problems im having are body checking seems to more difficult than im used to from 14 and players seem to be a little less good at getting pucks that are nearby

E: they also added in mascots but sadly theres no be a mascot mode

Phoon fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Oct 1, 2015

# ? Oct 1, 2015 14:48

Vitamins: May 1, 2012

Gaz2k21 posted:

I am working a nightshift tonight then getting a national express to Loughborough immediately after..... How much hell have I doomed myself to???

well you're going to Loughborough so the 6th circle of hell at least and I say that as someone that lived there for 4 years

# ? Oct 1, 2015 14:52

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

the sixth circle relates to heresy

# ? Oct 1, 2015 15:02

mfcrocker: Jan 31, 2004; Hot Rope Guy

The Big Taff Man posted:

Heres a Behind The Video fact - a PR team got in touch with me after that video and sent me some free Fosters. Can The Big Taff Man be bought for a positive review?

it's about ethics in beer journalism

# ? Oct 1, 2015 15:08

Fluo: May 25, 2007

Quote-Unquote posted:

They were very good thank you. Ordered all the spicy things and they still weren't very hot though.

Wish I had beer now. I've made home brew a bunch of times but pretty much half the time it tastes merely okay or bad and it seems like it would've been cheaper and less effort to buy the stuff. But then I'm very lazy.

Quick questions:

Allgrain, extract + mini-mash or extract

Was the malt extract dry or liquid?

Was the malt extract hopped?

Did you buy the things separate fresh or one of those kits in supermarkets?

If you bought one of those kits did you throw the yeast away and buy a fresh pack [yeast packs that come with the kits tend to be stale malt (avoid hopped malt extract), hops that would come in them are normally stored at room temp so tend to not be great and the yeast is default throw away and buy fresh yeast, even if its fresh dry yeast its better than the stuff in the packs]

If you're new or don't care about making your own recipes I recommend checking out sites like http://themaltmiller.co.uk/ in future.

Theres little things which make a major difference aswell like giving your wort aeration before you pitch the yeast to help a strong fast ferment and such.

For example if you wanted 23litres / 40 pints of beer of an ESB

Steep in 270g Caramalt, 270g Pale Crystal and 270g Torrefied Wheat (make sure you buy them crushed) in a muslin bag in half the amount of water you will need (90minute boil, lose between 5-15% evaporation depending on how strong your boil is so lets say 28litres, so steep in 14litres of water) at 70 - 80 Celsius*. After 20-30minutes take out your muslin bag with your speciality malt. Now you can either top up and add the other half of the water and bring to a boil, or make a concentrate and half the preboiled and cooled water in the fermenter (make sure its cold to counteract when you add your concentrate). Add your first wort hops of 50grams challenger and raise to a boil [normally you'd add it to the boil but first wort adds a little something to ESBs]. When it hits a rolling boil add half your liquid extract (in total you should have 3.5kg pale liquid malt). Start your timer counting down from 90minutes, when it gets to 10minutes add 40grams progress, when it hits 0 turn off the heat source and add 40grams east kent goldings. *Everything after this point should be sanitized, anything that touches the wort* stir it around and try to cool as fast as possible. Sink full of iceand cold water etc if you don't have a wort chiller. If you're doing the concentrate route skip this bit and let the hops sit for 5minutes after flame out, then pour into the sanitized fermenting bucket which has the other half of your cold water and have a sanitized sieve. Try and make it splash around alot as this is the only point in the process you want to aerate the beer to help the yeast get enough oxygen. Once it's gotten down to 18-20 C pitch your yeast and leave it in a cool dry place out of the water and out of mind. 14 days later [again everything that touches the beer needs to be sanitized[ boil some sugar** and water. After 10minutes boiling cool down, at blood temp add to your sanitized bottling bucket transfer into a bottling bucket with your priming sugar water at the bottom, best way to evenly carbonate the batch. Fill and cap then leave 30days, then you have your ESB.

Equipment you'd need [imagining you have a cooking pot that can gold 5/6 gallons] is about �30, sanitizion is about �5 but with things like star sans as long as you put it with soft water it can last for ages so you can use the same sanitizer for brewday and bottle day. Just keep the bucket you're storing it in airtight when not used. Brewing ingredents listed would be about �25-30 however you are left with enough ingredients where you could squeeze out the same recipe again and all you'd need to buy would be liquid malt extract and yeast. As hops come in 100gram vacuum packs and malt comes in 500gram or 1kg. 75p a bottle but start up cost was around �30. But after the second batch which would cost �15 means that batch was 37p.

optional things like whirfloc tablets [best finings and suitable for veggies] which are like �2 for 10, you use one 15minutes before you turn your heat source off if you want to be able to look through your glass

*The steeping temperature range (160� to 175� F) happens to be one that triggers some starch-to-sugar converting enzymes. Why not use some of those malts that contain unconverted starch and active enzymes, and go for some conversion? Because steeping isn't as effecient as mashing. Also, the enzymes would be dispersed too widely in the ratio of water to grain. In a mash, grist and water are held at these temperatures in a ratio of one to two quarts of water per pound of grain. We are using far more water with steeped grains.

**depends on the type you use, eg corn, table etc depends on the measurements aswell as the temp you're storing the bottles at http://www.brewersfriend.com/beer-priming-calculator/

# ? Oct 1, 2015 15:16

Fluo: May 25, 2007

The tism is strong today

# ? Oct 1, 2015 15:17

Phoon: Apr 23, 2010