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FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Tsyni posted:

You honestly have no reason to apologize. I am a jerk-off. This is why I replied to FoxTerrier, I didn't want to make you feel targeted or something. I was just trying to mess around a bit and make fun of the fact that sometimes we speculate about something and then other people run with it and before long it's fact, not that it was even close to that point. I am sorry you felt you had to explain yourself, mon ami, please take all of my posts with several grains of salt.

Yeah. Tsyni knows they can safely be a jerk off to me; I'll just shrug and think it's adorable.

And wait for the day Diog let's us do PvP again and I can make my move! :unsmigghh:

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Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

There Bias Two posted:

So I was reading back through the earliest posts for some reason, and I caught this exchange that we had with Shushem one day:


Thinking back to Tanaach and the undead fishman army, this little comment is kind of scary in its implications. Were we facing the corpses of former villagers turned into fishmen back then?

We already suspect that the Bnaimokt are actually twisted humans, so maybe this is another example of that.

May mirror what's going on here too, with beings being 'reborn' as greater entities, ox-demons, more powerful giants, and lesser entities, slave giants, etc. Everyone is eventually 'consumed', sacrificed on altars or eaten by Gebeb; those who please their masters get to grow, those who don't get to be the power-source.

Though I don't really think Asherah works the same way, I doubt Asherah consciously manipulates much, though there might be others who know how to tap into and use its power. We do know that it's not alone down there...

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe
It's the circle of life :yayclod:

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW

a cat irl posted:

I think we should shoot it in the heart and then go heart Uriah, 1 shot takes like no time
C


here's my count. Please tell me if i got ur vote wrong.

Special thanks to those of you who edited your old posts/noted what you were changing from when updating your votes!

code:
A. - 9
Grognan
HiHo ChiRho
SerSpook
RandomPauI
TheCog
Puella Magissima
TK-42-1
nothing to seehere
Ralith

C. - 6
Zahrkon
Bede
HBar
Task Manager
Ceramic Shot
a cat irl

F. - 23
Hot Dog Day 80
dyzzy
Aades
Jester Mcgee
unimportantguy
FoxTerrier
Klingtron
Viking_Helmet
Basscop
Amazed
UppaTree
A Terrible Person
Waci
the_steve
GloriousDemon
Jesus is colourblin
Affi - wants to switch places w/ Uriah
Imperialist Dog
maxhush
Theglavwen - wants to switch places w/ Uriah
rex monday - wants to switch places w/ Uriah
OrangeOrbit
Vavrek

G. SMASH THE WHOLE GODDAM THING
Arkanomen

G. TAKE A SMOKE BREAK
Slaan

G. Grab the spectral-figure and CRAM IT INTO THE NECKLACE WE KNOW WE CAN DO IT WE DID IT ONCE WITH SNARLS WE CAN DO IT HERE
100 HOGS AGREE

G. Wrap the necklace around your fist with the stone exposed, then punch the poo poo out of the yellow specter. - 2
Cornuto
Zybourne Clock

G. Go collect the rest of the empty orbs from the supply closet and throw a handful at the demon Uriah is fighting and another handful at the one we are fighting. - 8
dog kisser
ShotgunWillie
Nyaa
There Bias Two
Slightly Lions
Tsyni
Zahrkon
Swedish Thaumocracy

You appear to have missed my vote for J. :colbert:

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010
Actually there's been an update! since your last vote!

paragon1
Nov 22, 2010

FULL COMMUNISM NOW
Oh drat, so there has. My apologies.

Uh....A?

Lord Zedd-Repulsa
Jul 21, 2007

Devour a good book.


184 pages of just Diog's posts and I am done with them all! Now I can join in the voting along with the rest of the gerbils in Enkidel's head :toot:

F

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

LivesInGrey posted:

184 pages of just Diog's posts and I am done with them all! Now I can join in the voting along with the rest of the gerbils in Enkidel's head :toot:

F

No no no, now you have to read all of Slaans posts.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.

HiHo ChiRho posted:

No no no, now you have to read all of Slaans posts.

Fortunately you can essentially do that through just reading his latest one.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands
There's an achievement unlocked for reading all of my posts!

The achievement is named Finally! My Achievement Addiction is Cured!

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Well that's one way to consider it I suppose

ShotgunWillie
Aug 30, 2005

a sexy automaton -
powered by dark
oriental magic :roboluv:

HiHo ChiRho posted:

Well that's one way to consider it I suppose

I did it, and all I got was Drowned in pool of own tears.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.
F

Affi
Dec 18, 2005

Break bread wit the enemy

X GON GIVE IT TO YA
I think I voted f but if I forgot then F

Vavrek
Mar 2, 2013

I like your style hombre, but this is no laughing matter. Assault on a police officer. Theft of police property. Illegal possession of a firearm. FIVE counts of attempted murder. That comes to... 29 dollars and 40 cents. Cash, cheque, or credit card?

Tomn posted:

There's an achievement unlocked for reading all of my posts!

The achievement is named Finally! My Achievement Addiction is Cured!

I would've thought an achievement regarding your posts would be named And Another Thing! What about ... ?

DCBomB
Sep 14, 2008

Another might be Is It Still Green If We Stand On Our Head?

FoxTerrier
Feb 15, 2012

Perfectly logical poster who uses the tools available to him to come to solid conclusions

Nah. Its clearly, "Just one last question, Diog..."

The achievement for reading mine is probably, "I Thought Terriers Were Smart?"*

*based on support for such all time classics as, "Tooth-Gate" "Run Towards the Lightening Swords," and other greatest hits

Basscop
Jun 4, 2010

Lightnin? HA! Thats a good 'un!
Now why dontcha
come o'er here and
GET

IN

MY

BELLY!!!
There's no achievement for my posts you just win the game.

hollylolly
Jun 5, 2009

Do you like superheroes? Check out my CYOA Mutants: Uprising

How about weird historical fiction? Try Vampires of the Caribbean

F - help out Uriah!

Trundel
Mar 13, 2005

:10bux: + :awesomelon: = :roboluv:
- a sound investment!

LivesInGrey posted:

184 pages of just Diog's posts and I am done with them all! Now I can join in the voting along with the rest of the gerbils in Enkidel's head :toot:

F

Answer this skill-testing question: What is Sojenus doing right now?

Once you answer correctly you can post FOR REALZ in this thread.

Tomn
Aug 23, 2007

And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

FoxTerrier posted:

Nah. Its clearly, "Just one last question, Diog..."

It's kind of a shame I've already picked up a pretty neat avatar out of this thread, because Columbo would make a pretty good one.

Waci
May 30, 2011

A boy and his dog.

Trundel posted:

Answer this skill-testing question: What is Sojenus doing right now?

Once you answer correctly you can post FOR REALZ in this thread.

Sojenus is standing still, watching the universe rise rapidly around him.

Vagon
Oct 22, 2005

Teehee!

Waci posted:

Sojenus is standing still, watching the universe rise rapidly around him.

Just watch, one day.. One update.. Maybe in a few threads, Sojenus will land.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.
I wonder if Sojenus is still accelerating.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

SKY COQ posted:

I wonder if Sojenus is still accelerating.

Sojenus is always falling. If he ever stops falling, you'll know the game has ended, and we probably lost.

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

the_steve posted:

Sojenus is always falling. If he ever stops falling, you'll know the game has ended, and we probably lost.

Look I'm very aware, on a deep and personal level, that Sojenus is always falling. I just wonder about his velocity. Is he still accelerating? Could he potentially fall fast enough to rip a hole in the fabric of spacetime and, say, destroy a city?

Greggster
Aug 14, 2010
He landed already, remember Taanach

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

Diogines posted:

Even having turned it's head into a pile of gore and even as you rain MIGHTY blows upon the demon with its own enormous sword, it still seems to be regenerating.  It whails a GREAT and TERRIBLE cry of what is either pain or rage, very possibly both as you bleed out your ears and eyes.  It took Tudiya hours to finish off Bareen and a week to kill a dragon, at Tanaach Eliahaba literally threw a demon through buildings and plummeted hundreds of feet through the air without either showing any apparent injury!







According to Snarls your Balls are probably incapacitated from pain, are you going to live long enough to finish off this demon!?  Can you even finish it off?  It is no Zviv but even with its head splayed open and cut into chunks it seems to be regenerating!  You land another MIGHTY blow on its chest with the sword, you hear a CRUNCH but fail to pierce its hide.

You try to grab at its necklace, one of the demons flailing arms tries to grab you, it misses but does not fail on a backhand and with its ENORMOUS strength it sends you FLYING into one of the walls!  You are back on your feet quickly and run at the demon again, its flesh-hands are clutched at its head, trying to hold the fragments of brain and shattered bone together and they are knitting together before your eyes... it drops one of its claws from its head to try to swipe at you, but you dodge under it!  You grab the necklace from its neck and with a yank, pull it free and then throw it into the yellow-ish spectral image protruding from the demons back!






!!WHUUUUUMP!!


The ENTIRE demon falls to its side as it hit by an IMMENSE force, as if it was dragged in the direction of the necklace, which indeed it was?  Its horrendous wail of fury and pain is surely one of agony now, the demons flesh-arms flail chaotically, all of its limbs do and the spectral-image begins to lose some of its cohesion as it roars and roars in pain as bits of it are pulled into the stone in the necklace!  The demons exploded head, knitting itself back together only a moment ago has ceased to do so!

And you are still bleeding out of your ears and eyes and in rather a lot of pain but you are a ridiculously stubborn individual and keep fighting!  You hear blow after blow ring out from somewhere nearby, it sounds like Uriah is still fighting!


You race out of the room and down the hallway swiftly towards the chamber Uriah is in, right before you round the corner to the room you hear another explosion and the building shakes.

You don't need to hear Snarls whining at you to feel his pain, you do.  Are the only ones in Gebek still on their feet you and Uriah?  You enter the room to see Uriah is indeed alive and is standing in uh... a small crater?  The stones which make up the walls and floors of this building are very large and sturdy and you see Uriah standing in a small hole, coated in rather a lot of blood and smashing the ox-demon over and over with its giant sword.  Calling the thing an ox-demon is generous for the rolling tendrils of flesh and bone and blood you are are rapidly knitting themselves back together from Uriah's FURIOUS assault!  He is clearly putting the Mighty-Man hardening abilities to good use!  Yet even he is bleeding from his ears and eyes, just as you are the duo of horrendous, ungodly yelling has not ceased!

The upper half of the demon is a mess as described above and the target of Uriah's assault, the back, ox portion looks relatively unharmed.  Sticking from the back of the ox-demon is a humanoid form made of yellowish-gold smoke which while somewhat vaporous seems far firmer and substantial than any such image you have seen before.  

The ox-demon's necklace has been dislodged during Uriah's Mighty pummelling and is away from the corpse, you rush to it as swiftly as you enter the room and throw it at the vaporous form sticking out from the demons back!

!!WHUMP!!

As the necklace makes contact with the vaporous form atop the demon's back the entire demon's body is pulled along for the ride and Uriah gives it another good smash!  Uriah yells to you "WHY WON'T IT SHUT UP!? IT WON'T DIE!" No sooner than the necklace made contact with the vaporous form atop the demon does its "giant" end, now a mess of broken flesh and bone and gore, stop regenerating.  With one of its lower limbs the demon tries to smash the necklace!  It flails and misses on the first attempt but not on the second attempt to hit it, a large hoof is about to go right into it!  El help you!  You turned your back on the other one as soon as it went down and if it managed to smash the necklace in the minute or so you have been away.... You manage to dive into the blow with your shield and are sent flying through the air, yet the blow is deflected!  You yell to Urian "Keep the necklace near it and KEEP HITTING IT!" You are not injured, having taken the blow on Tudiya's weightless, unbreakable shield and then smashing into wall in your stupendous armor, your own toughness helped as well.  Small bits of the vaporous form are being drawn into the necklace, small bits only, it is struggling to resist and the flesh of the ox-demon flails!




1.  You....
A.  You believe the other demon has renegerated and know if one of them gets up, you are all dead.  You are completely screwed.  BALLS!  RETREAT! Flee!  Grab Snarls, run for it!

B.  You can get your Balls or at least some of them on their feet, even if you don't understand how.  It will cost you and the price is not a small one.  This is not a time for navel-gazing, you are bleeding from your eyes and ears and not in a position to contemplate the finer details, perhaps driven by Snarls painful cries in the back of your mind you intuited it?  Get them up so they can run.  You need to concentrate, you can't run.

C.  RACE back to the other demon, hope it didn't smash the necklace and keep hitting it until the necklace absorbs the vaporous form!

D.  Get to the supply closet you saw here last time and grab more small orbs, then race back to the first demon!  Add another thirty seconds until you get back to it!

E.  Upon the revelation that it seems to be the case that Uriah was doing fine and that you may have just given the first demon a chance to regenerate, curse and yell and scream in anger!  While helping Uriah finish off his demon, at least finish one off!

F.  Stop what your doing and pray to El for divine aid!

G.  Something else!  Fill in!

Diogines fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Nov 9, 2015

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

LivesInGrey posted:

184 pages of just Diog's posts and I am done with them all! Now I can join in the voting along with the rest of the gerbils in Enkidel's head :toot:

F
Another gerbil joins the hundred crazy head-gerbils of Enkidel, welcome! Reading the back log at this point is an impressive feat!

Crudus
Nov 14, 2006

C

Cornuto
Jun 26, 2012

For the pack!
C

Zybourne Clock
Oct 25, 2011

Poke me.
C. Curse and scream and shout on the way back to the ox-demon.

dyzzy
Dec 22, 2009

argh
D plan for the worst! Also more orbs probably means more vacuum power even if the original is still intact!

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010
Like, Nyaa.

:colbert:
C. We are done here, go back and finish our part.

Facebook Aunt
Oct 4, 2008

wiggle wiggle




D Become the orb master. Gotta catch em all.

a cat irl
Feb 13, 2010
uhhhhhhhhhhh gently caress! D BE A POKEBALL MASTER

unrelatedly,
What does Uriah's name mean?
(according to wikipedia, Uriah means "flame of God")

Edit: We could pick C and it might all be ok, which would be great, or it might be bad because the necklace is smashed and we'll need to contain the "soul" somehow.
Or we pick D and we don't need the orbs, which is still great, or we have the orbs when we need them which is also great.
The only situation in which we're hosed either way is if the "soul" has already been absorbed. C could be better if the "soul" is going to get back into the body in that 30 seconds. We could beat on it to stop the regeneration and hope Uriah helps us in time. Seems like the body was regenerating really fast tho, so that 30 seconds might actually cost us. Ughhghhgh.

a cat irl fucked around with this message at 20:31 on Nov 9, 2015

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

C Praying to El IRL that it didn't smash the orb.

Theglavwen
Jun 10, 2006

Frankly, I don't know anyone who likes Chinese bronzes, but I have one of the finest collections in the country.
Well C drat it, for whatever reason I hadn't gotten the impression it was still moving, let alone in a controlled fashion.

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Oh look, Uriah was fine.

C

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Ultimate Mango
Jan 18, 2005

D Let's make sure that if he smashes the necklace we can still finish him off.

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