Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

hanales: Nov 3, 2013

Paradigmata posted:

Why would anyone quit a payed job which basicly comes down to an unlimited time of fixing something and get payed for it, while people threw more and more money into development?

Good* devs like to finish things and release them. They are proud of the work they do, and want to complete it. They don't like bug hunting for years or sitting on projects that don't go anywhere. It does nothing for your skills or your morale.

*I don't know any of the devs at CiG so I can't comment on their quality.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 01:38

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 22:50

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Xaerael posted:

Star Citizen: Please STOP showing people our game, it's losing potential profits.

New thread title. Tia.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 01:47

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Gryphon0468 posted:

You really are retarded.

I knew this was a gryphon7636373 post before I saw who made it, or whom it was responding to.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 01:52

comatose: Nov 23, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Does anyone actually understand their logic on PTU build numbering? Ignoring the whole 2.0 thing for an alpha, the patch notes from 2.0x to 2.1 are bug fixes and a new ship which for some reason means they went up a version number and also make you download the whole client again. :psyduck:

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:09

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Raged posted:

Dear lord Ben is such a disgusting obese pig. When he lifts his arms up(towards the end of ATV)and the fat flaps hang off I just want to vomit. He look like he is wearing a wing suit made of flesh.

If you are reading this you pig you would have made a good abortion.

Yeah you really showed that complete stranger that you've never met, good job?

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:10

SirPhoebos: Dec 10, 2007; WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Gryphon0468 posted:

You really are retarded.

Hey Gryhon, I was going to get into a fake fight about Pizza, but instead I'm going to ask what the gently caress you get out of posting in exactly one thread in this entire forum, and even then just swooping in to make a remark only you think is clever before fleeing like a coward.

Y'know, Just like your hero Chris-R is going to do when his Ponzi Scheme collapses and he runs off to Venezuela.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:11

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Gryphon0468 posted:

You really are retarded.

Merry Christmas, and I hope wherever you are in the world that things are going well for you.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:17

Mendrian: Jan 6, 2013

SirPhoebos posted:

Hey Gryhon, I was going to get into a fake fight about Pizza, but instead I'm going to ask what the gently caress you get out of posting in exactly one thread in this entire forum, and even then just swooping in to make a remark only you think is clever before fleeing like a coward.

Y'know, Just like your hero Chris-R is going to do when his Ponzi Scheme collapses and he runs off to Venezuela.

Yeah I don't get it either. I mean I can't blame a supporter for keeping their distance. Anybody pro-CS has been mocked off the forums. But if you're going to go out of your way to buy an account just to watch a completely public thread than you should reexamine your life.

As an aside I find the notion that goons are a unified anti-Citizen army hell bent on the destruction of their precious game adorable. Especially the idea that we're all marching to the orders of Admiral Smart. Seriously, I watch this thread for laughs. The delusion is amazing.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:20

RabbitWizard: Oct 21, 2008; Muldoon

comatose posted:

Does anyone actually understand their logic on PTU build numbering? Ignoring the whole 2.0 thing for an alpha, the patch notes from 2.0x to 2.1 are bug fixes and a new ship which for some reason means they went up a version number and also make you download the whole client again.

You always download the full client again, as far as i know. Maybe that's why the go up a whole version every time. So you feel like they did stuff, everywhere.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:24

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

Mendrian posted:

Yeah I don't get it either. I mean I can't blame a supporter for keeping their distance. Anybody pro-CS has been mocked off the forums. But if you're going to go out of your way to buy an account just to watch a completely public thread than you should reexamine your life.

As an aside I find the notion that goons are a unified anti-Citizen army hell bent on the destruction of their precious game adorable. Especially the idea that we're all marching to the orders of Admiral Smart. Seriously, I watch this thread for laughs. The delusion is amazing.

hahahah yeah right? The thought that we have coordinated, tactical strikes on the enemy spacegame that is 'Stard Citizens' and that Commander Smart is a leader or something haehehe can you imagine if that were a real thing wow I can't it's too silly right guys? heh just hanging out making jokes on the web heahah

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:31

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

comatose posted:

Does anyone actually understand their logic on PTU build numbering? Ignoring the whole 2.0 thing for an alpha, the patch notes from 2.0x to 2.1 are bug fixes and a new ship which for some reason means they went up a version number and also make you download the whole client again.

It's the illusion of progress. Look at all the hard work the devs put in in the lead up to chris-mas. They managed to get a major patch out just in time for the holiday break. Aren't you thankful? At this pace, the game will be out in no time.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:32

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

Look at all these posts people made on Christmas in the Star Citizen thread. Yowza!

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:33

BigglesSWE: Dec 2, 2014; How 'bout them hawks news huh!

They better be careful...push us too far and we might just get organised. An army of Goons...hellbent on the destruction of everything the Star Citizen holds dear.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:34

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

FactsAreUseless posted:

Look at all these posts people made on Christmas in the Star Citizen thread. Yowza!

its boxing day

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:36

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

FactsAreUseless posted:

Look at all these posts people made on Christmas in the Star Citizen thread. Yowza!

Look at this weirdo with a social life :smuggo:

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:36

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

FactsAreUseless posted:

Look at all these posts people made on Christmas in the Star Citizen thread. Yowza!

you made 4 posts today!

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:46

FactsAreUseless: Feb 16, 2011

A Neurotic Jew posted:

you made 4 posts today!

Yeah, but they pay me to post here...

[stares blankly into middle distance]

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:48

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

This thread is like an extended digital family. We are celebrating Christmas together.

Merry Xmas fellow sad nerds.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:50

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Merry Christmas. The following JPEG is for Hawaiian Pizza lovers only:

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:55

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

Merry Christmas and thanks for this all expense paid vacation spergs!

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:56

Scruffpuff: Dec 23, 2015; Fidelity. Wait, was I'm working on again?

Tokamak posted:

It's the illusion of progress. Look at all the hard work the devs put in in the lead up to chris-mas. They managed to get a major patch out just in time for the holiday break. Aren't you thankful? At this pace, the game will be out in no time.

From my perspective it looks like they're putting 100% of their development effort into solidifying the tech demo they call 2.1.0, and no effort into developing the game itself. I know most citizens think this IS the seed of what will become the game, which is why this is a shrewd move if you're trying to squeeze them for their last cents, but a lovely move if developing a game is anywhere on the radar.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 02:57

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Scruffpuff posted:

I enjoy the reasoning, as the SC "Alpha" moves along its versions, and "bug fixes" are applied, and the product becomes "more stable" - sentence ended due to quotation mark limit violation

The reason I enjoy this so much, is watching linear thought process that the Shitizens are using to conclude that the game will obviously be released. The reasoning is easy to follow, and goes as such:

1) There is something to play right now (sort of)
2) Each patch fixes bugs
3) Each release number goes up
4) Each release is more stable

and then the logical conclusion:

5) Therefore with enough time, the game will be out

NONE of the cultists have seen the disconnect between #4 and #5. None of them. Their logic is flawless - the engine can be tweaked and patched forever, into infinite potential, simply given enough time - this is as undeniable as the scientifically-provable fact that a Honda Civic can eventually be tweaked and adjusted into an F1 racer without changing out the engine or any other parts.

Now I know some of the developers who left the company knew this. They knew the inherent limit of the engine, saw the writing on the wall, and bailed. There are developers there today who know the limit, and some of those are preparing to bail. Others are just moving the goalposts of the project to fit within the limits of what the engine can do, using the quite deliberate obfuscation of what the gently caress this game is even supposed to be as a shield rather than a liability. If nobody knows what the game is, they can't prove the engine can't do it.

I love all this because it's like watching a train wreck in the world's slowest motion. We know that the Alpha patch releases, and the actual performance of said releases, are going to converge into a singularity where the existing engine has been tweaked to its absolute limit, all bugs are fixed, and the game still can't and won't run because they were using the wrong solution from the jump. But the citizens not only don't know that, but actually can't know that - even those with experience in the industry - because cult behavior shuts down the critical thinking centers of the brain as its first order of business.

This is excellent from nearly every perspective. Look at Chris during his recent video appearances and compare them to those from 2, 3 years ago. Look at his eyes. He knows, beyond a doubt, what's coming. He doesn't care about scope creep, physics, ships, design, systems, economy - gently caress it. He's not completely stupid; he knows he mismanaged and misspent this project directly into the ground. SQ42 is his Hail Mary pass - his way to justify to himself that he is not a complete failure. If that goes out, in any form at all, he will add that to his internal monologue as a success. I've worked with CEOs before who give up on their company, and they all get the same look in their eyes when they "check out". This man is riding out the clock.

Good post and a good condensation of Octopode logic.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:07

Sillybones: Aug 10, 2013; go away,
spooky skeleton,
go away

Games are built on jank. We know the disaster that is ships being finished and polished and then endlessly remade. This is the same case with any game play system. The more they polish in what should be a test-bed, not a game, the more cost there is to integrate any new system. And there is a whole boatload of missing systems if ship concept SALES are to be taken as indicative. Doomed forever.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:09

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

RabbitWizard posted:

You always download the full client again, as far as i know. Maybe that's why the go up a whole version every time. So you feel like they did stuff, everywhere.

how big is the client? because lmao that is some terrible poo poo

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:10

DarkSol: May 18, 2006; Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.

EminusSleepus posted:

Merry Christmas and thanks for this all expense paid vacation spergs!

Wouldn't you need a vacation from all the embezzling you've done over the year if you were in their shoes? :v:

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:14

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

A picture of Chris surrounded by lots of snow seems very apt.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:18

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

KakerMix posted:

hahahah yeah right? The thought that we have coordinated, tactical strikes on the enemy spacegame that is 'Stard Citizens' and that Commander Smart is a leader or something haehehe can you imagine if that were a real thing wow I can't it's too silly right guys? heh just hanging out making jokes on the web heahah

Hail hydra

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:26

Gryphon0468: Oct 3, 2015; ASK ME IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO SUCK OFF CHRIS ROBERTS

Power_13 posted:

There was a deleted scene that revealed Hobbes as you knew him was some sort of personality construct, with the real Kilrathi double-agent in him being awoken by a phrase used by Prince Thrakhath (main Kilrathi bad guy) during a broadcast to your ship.

Tenuous and convoluted, but it worked a bit better than "the guy you flew with and trusted for years was just joshing you all along". I don't know why they cut it.

Source your quotes.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:43

Gryphon0468: Oct 3, 2015; ASK ME IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO SUCK OFF CHRIS ROBERTS

Oh hey I haven't gone through the last few pages yet but thanks to whoever got me the avatar I love it

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:45

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Gryphon0468 posted:

Oh hey I haven't gone through the last few pages yet but thanks to whoever got me the avatar I love it

Go gently caress yourself you stalker piece of poo poo

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:46

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

It was finally Christmas, and all through the day,
Not a Goon was shitposting; not even Eonwe.
The Goons were all feasting, and filled with great cheer,
In the hope that more Baby Pu bugs would appear.

The White Knights were nestled all snug in the 'Verse,
Defending Chris Roberts while gameplay got worse.
Sandi in fake tattoos, seeking attention,
Shed crocodile tears at a dumb nerd convention.

When from Awful App there arose such a clatter,
I rushed to my smartphone to see what's the matter.
I picked up my Samsung, quick as a flash,
A shitposter? Here? Was it Karl, or Seraph?

My excitement built, then as quickly departed,
A scrub-tier Star Citizen had said "You're Retarded."
A cacophonous clatter; Goons started to shout,
All chiming in to yell "Gryphon, :frogout:

".

When what did my wondering eyes just then see,
But an internet warlord, Derek Smart (M.D.).
At the shitposter he scowled "Get thee hence."
"By the way, goons, please purchase Line of Defense."

His brow, it then furrowed. His eyes had a gleam.
His knuckles were bloody (from a vending machine).
He glanced at his refund from CIG's store,
And girded his loins for an Internet War.

"Come MeLKor, come AP, come Neurotic Jew,"
"On Beer4TheBeerGod, and Loiosh, too!"
"On The Escapist, Peter Gabriel,"
"On Sarspariller and on G0RF as well!"

"Reveal now how CIG's on its last legs,"
"With costs that outstrip income selling jpegs."
"With a toxic community, gameplay that's poo poo,"
"And a janky old engine that's 32-bit."

The Citizens rallied, and began to bash Smart;
"Our game's in development, yours is a shart!"
Smart said: "That's no matter! Your point here is moot!"
"Just wait two more weeks 'till I file my lawsuit!"

Then the citizens faltered; as since the reveal,
Of the 2.0 update they'd lost some appeal.
They were stared in the face by the reality,
That they could lose ships when they're in PVP.

They stood there confused, and posted with dread:
"This game was much better when all in my head!"
They saw just how poorly the game had been coded,
The community fractured, and quickly imploded.

Arguing increased as the game took shape,
Equivocating that to gank was to rape.
"Piracy? Murder! Fighting shouldn't take place!"
"I'll lose my Idris if there's battles in space!"

They turned on their own, and then started to brawl,
Some arguing fiercely "No combat at all!"
On the merits and downfalls the carebears did harp,
But to Goons, Merry Christmas, and to all a good :gary:

PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP. :gary:

# ? Dec 26, 2015 03:59

comatose: Nov 23, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

how big is the client? because lmao that is some terrible poo poo

Around 20gb I think.

With all this progress the game should be out in 2 weeks.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:00

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

That was beautiful

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:01

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

comatose posted:

Around 20gb I think.

With all this progress the game should be ~~out~~ downloaded in 2 weeks.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:01

Cheatum the Evil Midget: Sep 11, 2000; I COULDN'T BACK UP ANY OF MY ARGUEMENTS, IGNORE ME PLEASE.

Hi all! Haven't caught up with the thread as yet but seeing lots of bad opinions. The truth is that lebanese style pizza (Man'oosh) is in fact the best pizza. Anyway, thanks for listening and one love y'all

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:02

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Breetai posted:

It was finally Christmas, and all through the day,
Not a Goon was shitposting; not even Eonwe.
The Goons were all feasting, and filled with great cheer,
In the hope that more Baby Pu bugs would appear.

The White Knights were nestled all snug in the 'Verse,
Defending Chris Roberts while gameplay got worse.
Sandi in fake tattoos, seeking attention,
Shed crocodile tears at a dumb nerd convention.

When from Awful App there arose such a clatter,
I rushed to my smartphone to see what's the matter.
I picked up my Samsung, quick as a flash,
A shitposter? Here? Was it Karl, or Seraph?

My excitement built, then as quickly departed,
A scrub-tier Star Citizen had said "You're Retarded."
A cacophonous clatter; Goons started to shout,
All chiming in to yell "Gryphon, ".

When what did my wondering eyes just then see,
But an internet warlord, Derek Smart (M.D.).
At the shitposter he scowled "Get thee hence."
"By the way, goons, please purchase Line of Defense."

His brow, it then furrowed. His eyes had a gleam.
His knuckles were bloody (from a vending machine).
He glanced at his refund from CIG's store,
And girded his loins for an Internet War.

"Come MeLKor, come AP, come Neurotic Jew,"
"On Beer4TheBeerGod, and Loiosh, too!"
"On The Escapist, Peter Gabriel,"
"On Sarspariller and on G0RF as well!"

"Reveal now how CIG's on its last legs,"
"With costs that outstrip income selling jpegs."
"With a toxic community, gameplay that's poo poo,"
"And a janky old engine that's 32-bit."

The Citizens rallied, and began to bash Smart;
"Our game's in development, yours is a shart!"
Smart said: "That's no matter! Your point here is moot!"
"Just wait two more weeks 'till I file my lawsuit!"

Then the citizens faltered; as since the reveal,
Of the 2.0 update they'd lost some appeal.
They were stared in the face by the reality,
That they could lose ships when they're in PVP.

They stood there confused, and posted with dread:
"This game was much better when all in my head!"
They saw just how poorly the game had been coded,
The community fractured, and quickly imploded.

Arguing increased as the game took shape,
Equivocating that to gank was to rape.
"Piracy? Murder! Fighting shouldn't take place!"
"I'll lose my Idris if there's battles in space!"

They turned on their own, and then started to brawl,
Some arguing fiercely "No combat at all!"
On the merits and downfalls the carebears did harp,
But to Goons, Merry Christmas, and to all a good PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARP.

holy poo poo

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:07

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Gryphon0468 posted:

Oh hey I haven't gone through the last few pages yet but thanks to whoever got me the avatar I love it

So, what is it like?

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:11

Godmode Enabled: Jul 14, 2013; I AM A BETAGOON, ASK ME ABOUT PROPER GRIEF TO CASH RATIOS.

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

how big is the client? because lmao that is some terrible poo poo

Just checked. Its 31.2gb for live and 27.5 GB for test server.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:15

Gryphon0468: Oct 3, 2015; ASK ME IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO SUCK OFF CHRIS ROBERTS

SerCypher posted:

Lol as crazy as they are, sometimes I check this thread and see posts like these and wonder if we're the crazy ones.

Searching through video archives to see how yellow a person's teeth have become is a little strange.

You don't say.

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:16

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 22:50

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Gryphon0468 posted:

You don't say.

go gently caress yourself karl you crazy stalking piece of poo poo

# ? Dec 26, 2015 04:18

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