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The unrelenting parade of atrocity that was Anno Domini 2015 is finally behind us, and so is whatever small spark of joy that we could scrape together over Christmas. It's all downhill from here as we face at the least another four years of Tory government, who are buoyed by a virulently anti-Corbyn press. Who also love nothing more than hacking murdered teenager's mobile phones and make an enormous brouhaha about the country letting in a handful of poor bastards fleeing the wartorn hellscape that is Syria/Libya/Pick shithole of your choice here. But all is not lost! After a rousing and rigorous debate in the Houses of Parliament, our wise government has decided to tackle the existential threat that is Islamic State by sending a handful of planes into Syria. We in UKMT broadly agreed with this course of action, swayed by the reasoning that if the refugees are fleeing bombs and terror, raining bombs and terror on everyone will stabilize the region, and that such notions as "having a strategy before commencing bombing" would only mean the terrorists win. The Wise Patriarch of the British Nation The biggest news of the year was probably the UK General Elections, which saw the pollsters pretty much cock everything up spectacularly. Going into the election most people believed then-Labour leader Ed Miliband had a decent shot at becoming PM. The morning after, Labour had been handed a pretty brutal drubbing whilst the pro-apartheid Conservative Party had enough seats to form a government with no need to enter into a second coalition with the Liberal Democrats. Because the Liberal Democrats got loving dunked on. The bloodbath saw the Lib Dems go from 57 seats and a position in the Tory-Lib Dem coalition government to a hilariously pathetic 8 seats. This bloodbath was even greater than many predicted. The primary reason is widely accepted to be because they reneged on the central promise to their core voters - that they would vote against tuition fee rises for uni students. Shortly after getting into government they supported tuition fee rises. As a result they went from being a strong and seemingly ascendant third party to an utterly irrelevant position. They also got only about 2/3 of the votes UKIP did, but thanks to the entirely fair and level-headed First Past The Post voting system, they got eight seats while UKIP got one. The other big election night story was north of the border, in the mysterious and foreboding realm of the Scots. Capitalizing on both the Lib Dem's collapse, and the revelation that England didn't mean all those nice things said about Scotland during the 2014 Referendum, the Scottish National Party took the place of third party by number of MPs. Just to clarify this for you all; SNP: 1,454,436 votes, 56 MPs. Liberal Democrats: 2,415,862 votes, 8 MPs. UKIP: 3,881,099 votes, 1 MP. Green Party: 1,157,613 votes, 1 MP. The system works. In the aftermath of all this, Miliband resigned and a leadership contest in the Labour Party was held. There were three contenders for the throne; Blairite wind sock Yvette Cooper, Blairite weather vane Andy Burnham, and Blairite e-mail author Liz Kendall. A few in the party thought the debate might be healthier with a different viewpoint being involved, so another person ended up in the running for the role - Jeremy Corbyn. The Great Red Hope Veteran socialist democrat Corbyn was not going to win, obviously, he wasn't in the running - but it's healthy to have a robust exchange of differing viewpoints and make sure the members feel they are being heard. Jezza proceeded to stomp the competition into the god drat ground winning the first round of voting with 59.5%, meaning no further rounds were needed. A large part of this came from members who joined the party for a nominal fee specifically to vote for Corbyn, which the PLP establishment took as a sign that they should completely ignore it all and try to knife Corbyn in the back, whilst pursuing the same electoral strategies and policies that just lost Ed Miliband the election. Other Events Occurred Some other stuff happened too last year, among them highlights such as:
Actual Quote From David Cameron, Noted Pigfucker Penultimately, for the sake of posterity, here are some of last year's UKMTs:
And finally, please keep these points in mind: quote:1. It's not a person's fault if they are poor; Welcome to 2016 all! Not sure of the difference between left and right? Got you covered: Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 17:37 on Jan 28, 2016 |
# ? Jan 1, 2016 06:35 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 00:08 |
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2016 AD, 1 SDCFADP. Or is it more like 32 SDCFADP? I figure it would be best to get it out of the way now so we don't end up with any of the silliness the Georgian calendar had when it turned out Jesus was not actually born on 0.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 06:44 |
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As Christians might say about Jesus Christ, it's good enough to know that it definitely happened. When it actually happened isn't that important to the fact that it definetly, 100% for sure happened and we all know it.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 06:50 |
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David Cameron hosed A Dead Pig
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 07:04 |
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happy new year motehrfuckers it's the year of the pig fyi
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 08:21 |
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FYI to post in the thread, you need to recite the Porcine Creed to demonstrate your Correctness.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 08:43 |
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No tribute to Lemmy in the new OP? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h45WnW0ASFY
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 10:10 |
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Well that was a poo poo year.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 10:40 |
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Manic_Misanthrope posted:Well that was a poo poo year. Good start to the year though, 10 hours past and no horrific terrorist acts.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 10:55 |
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Brown Moses posted:Good start to the year though, 10 hours past and no horrific terrorist acts. They were planned in Belgium and Germany. Meanwhile, down in the jungle: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/dec/29/deluge-farmers-flood-grouse-moor-drain-land The Guardian posted:In 2002 Walshaw Moor, a 6,500-acre grouse shooting estate upstream of Hebden Bridge, was bought by the retail tycoon Richard Bannister. Satellite images before and after show a transformation of the land: a great intensification of burning and draining. These activities raise the number of grouse, which in turns raises the amount (running into thousands per person per day) people will pay to shoot them. In other words: the current round of flooding was made as bad as it was because not only did the Tories cut money from flood defences, they gave that money to their rich mates to make it worse.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 11:04 |
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Trickle down grouseonomics.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 11:17 |
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Nice OP, OP. Good work. And a happy new year to everyone, by which I mean everyone who truly believes in the godhood of Jeremy Corbyn. The inquisition will be making the rounds shortly.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 11:49 |
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blowfish posted:Trickle down grouseonomics. It was a bit more than a trickle, I think you'll find.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 12:06 |
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Happy New Year, Thread.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 12:06 |
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Jedit posted:They were planned in Belgium and Germany. It's insane the impact this incredibly niche sport has on the country.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 12:25 |
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It's not just loving with land management, these bastards are the ones poisoning raptors because they eat baby grouse. e: It will never come up anywhere beyond a Monbiot column, though, which is the most depressing thing. The Tories have not only failed to spend money on flood defences, they've actively made it worse so their chums can go out shooting fish in a barrel and barely anyone will ever hear about it. XMNN fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Jan 1, 2016 |
# ? Jan 1, 2016 12:34 |
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no poll in the op smh
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 12:42 |
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poo poo, tired OP with all the usual bollocks but then again it's almost certainly going to be another poo poo, tired year full of the usual bollocks so at least it's appropriate. Happy New Year. Here's hoping for a meteor shower on Parliament when a vote on MP's pay comes up again.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 13:13 |
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I disagree with 3 of the 12 points in the OP but I'll never reveal which ones
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 13:52 |
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Arm the grouse
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 13:58 |
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a pipe smoking dog posted:It's insane the impact this incredibly niche sport has on the country. Niche? I'll think you'll find it represents millions of pounds of economic activity!
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:02 |
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I hear Tim Peake went to ISIS. When will those fascists stop grooming our vulnerable populace and turning them toward radical Islam?
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:07 |
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but but but...it's tradition
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:16 |
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Blue Star Error posted:I disagree with 3 of the 12 points in the OP but I'll never reveal which ones Neo-liberalism is good, imo.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:22 |
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Blue Star Error posted:I disagree with 3 of the 12 points in the OP but I'll never reveal which ones I disagree with 8, trans people can be men in dresses if they want.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:23 |
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Shame about the Empire. Ah well, maybe it'll be back next year.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:23 |
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Happy new year everybody. Here's looking forward to full communism in 2016
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:24 |
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See Eddie Izzard for man in a dress. Also giant crumpets for best invention of 2015 please Also what toppings do you lot like on your crumpets? :canofworms:
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:32 |
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I think people in Norfolk would be inherently distrustful of trains
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:35 |
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I had a roast beef dinner straight after midnight. It was glorious. Anyway we should really address the important issues this year. What's UKMT position on Twiglets?
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:39 |
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I'll eat them if they're there. poo poo I'll eat the whole tube, cos they're morish. But I wouldn't buy them.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:50 |
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Namtab posted:Neo-liberalism is good, imo. Why is neo-liberalism good, iyo?
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:51 |
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Blue Star Error posted:I disagree with 3 of the 12 points in the OP but I'll never reveal which ones that list is really gay isn't it
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:55 |
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AceClown posted:Also what toppings do you lot like on your crumpets? :canofworms:
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 14:56 |
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Blue Star Error posted:I disagree with 3 of the 12 points in the OP but I'll never reveal which ones Gendered insults are okay in some limited circumstances, such as Jamie Oliver (he's a oval office). There are plenty of associations with 'Gay' in their name that aren't especially happy. That's all I got. Ichabod Sexbeast posted:Arm the grouse
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:04 |
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We're British, oval office isn't a gendered insult here.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:05 |
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Guavanaut posted:Trans people can be men in dresses if they identify as men and wear dresses. There are some trains that are less than awesome. Particularly when someone's two-year-old has repeatedly vomited all over the carriage.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:07 |
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Zephro posted:Vegemite, best yeast-derived spreadable condiment I've had that stuff before, it's no Marmite
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:14 |
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AceClown posted:Also what toppings do you lot like on your crumpets? :canofworms:
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:18 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 00:08 |
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AceClown posted:Also what toppings do you lot like on your crumpets? :canofworms: Pickled Onion Monster Munch.
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# ? Jan 1, 2016 15:33 |