a kitten posted:

Ingwit is one of the funniest posters to ever be on this site, so that one at least is a joke.

He took the already funny Ultimate Hustler thread and shot it through the stratosphere.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=2473759&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Stymie posted:

chronicles of riddick was two and a half incomplete movie ideas crammed together to make one bad movie

the first movie was "pitch black but in reverse"

the second movie was "attack of the space nihilists"

the half movie was "riddick is magic now"

theflyingexecutive posted:

King of Bees posted:

I have absolutely no idea about Pokémon but I just went for a two hour walk with my daughter looking for them.

King of Bees posted:

I have absolutely no idea about Pokémon but I just went for a two hour walk with my daughter looking for them.

What I'm saying is suck my balls nerds.

504 posted:

So......

Your daughter likes pokemon...

and you think people that like pokemon are nerds...

and you want them to suck your balls..

Take a seat.

Erata posted:

Sorry I forgot it was Waluigi

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

you shouldn't quote stymie

Baller Time posted:

oh no



please no

Baller Time posted:

The Schwa posted:

does anyone have that quote about Waluigi?

The Real Foogla posted:

Pvt Dancer posted:

Chichevache posted:

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:

I'm trying to figure this out too. World's sexiest toddler.

The Real Foogla posted:

Jamsta posted:

Needed to get my cock flavoured seasoning out again for a basic texas toast burg plus homefries

Norns posted:

What flavor profile is that cock seasoning?

Brawnfire posted:

Cheesy, with a sweaty undertone

Arsten posted:

I once encountered this. A guy was lactose intolerant and his wife would put cheese slices in his lunch. Well, they would just fit in this little slot right above the optical drive and he just kept cramming them in there for over a year. There was always a funk in his office that you couldn't quite place, but it's hard in the business world to be all like "Hey, man. Do you wash?" if you aren't their boss.

Then one week, he went on vacation. By Friday, someone needed something from his desk and went in and came out screaming. Apparently, there was a giant WWI-style troop column of black ants under his desk. The janitor came over and vacuum them up and said "It looks like they are coming from the computer!" and I was called.

At the time, I was an idiot help desk guy so I walked it back to my workbench instead of doing the proper thing and rigging it with explosives. Upon arriving, I found I had a small swarm of ants all over my stomach where the box was resting. I immediately stripped that shirt off and threw it away (always keep a spare, guys! ) and then dropped the tower into a box to contain a few ants. After a few minutes of the heebie jeebies with my brain telling my body that there had to be at least 50 million more ants on it everywhere, I was starting to get a headache from the smell, so I dabbed a bit of Vaporub on my nose and proceeded to open it.

The proper word is "exploded" when I popped the side off. The ants came rolling down the sides marched out on the top of the size plate, and flooding the box and going crazy. I was worried they would just keep spreading out from the box when a co-worker showed me the neatest trick I had learned to that date: Cinnamon powder is like a cross between smelling salts and nerve gas to most ants. If you put it down, they will avoid it and if you dump it on them, they will act like you just melted their minds for a few moments before dying.

So, after he created a powder ring against evil spirits on the bottom of the box, I pulled the side off with some pliers and beheld the terror. There was crusty cheese, melty cheese, and oil everywhere. The ants had actually done an ant-farm-tunnel thing to the cheese while harvesting it and the smell was so powerful, the vaporub did nothing to save me. I dumped every bit of cinnamon powder in the jar over as much of that thing as possible. When that obviously wasn't enough to kill everything in there, I basically wrote it off. No one disagreed with me as no one wanted to touch it.

Come Monday morning, the guy was all like "I don't know how that happened! I must have been setup! The smell over the last months wasn't actually there!" and other such niceties. Then he claimed that the owner set him up to avoid paying him the bonus by ruining his current contract work, which the owner was butthurt about and fired him for saying so. Then they came back to me and demanded I recover everything on that computer.

I was fired for refusing to work on that hell tower to recover the 'extremely important' work documents as it was right after the owner's rampage against ant man and he wasn't taking prisoners. He was apparently sorry for firing me after they showed him the computer, but not sorry enough to offer my job back.

So.... Thanks Ants!

Thanks Ants posted:

sweeperbravo posted:

i love when usernames come up in context. that's wonderful

Ghost Pea posted:

At first this made me very sad, OP, but think about it: Is it more sad to eat the food or to let it go in the garbage? When I was a child I imagined that my belly was "food heaven" where all the food would reform and join its friends and dance around in a lovely belly kingdom made of food.

Once my father told me to eat all of my peas but I didn't want to so he threw them in the garbage while telling me that they were very sad to go in the garbage. I have never forgotten how sad I was about it, so now I try to eat every speck of food on my plate every day. On the other hand, my mom tried to mitigate it by telling me that the peas would surely get eaten by seagulls at the dump and that they were going to a good cause to feed those hungry animals. It made me feel better, since surely the seagulls had their own food heavens too!

grahf987 posted:

All the Alien talk in the last 30 pages or so has made me realize the my ultimate goal in life is to have a threesome with Sigourney Weaver and Ellen Page. Page has the look and the intensity to be a new Ripley in a new light, I propose her name as Junoply. I do not care how old one gets or how gay the other gets, I'm shooting for the stars beyond the stars in a parallel universe. Best my dream if you dare. Page looks like and is about the age of the original Ripley, whatever the context, I would not mind her in the role one bit. I do not understand the hate for her, but granted I like Shia La Buff(or however you spell it), Tom Cruse is the poo poo(in movies), and Tyler Perry can loving act (when he is not trying to shill out lowest common denominator schlock).

Parkingtigers posted:

God I am so happy that Robot Wars is back. 2016 has been super, super lovely, we needed the return of robots beating the rivets out of each other.

Bip Roberts posted:

You say that right after the Dallas PD won a round of Robot Wars last week.

hemophilia posted:

Imagine four tiny heads on the edge of a cliff. One head falls off the cliff and dies from flesh eating bacteria. Rio works the same way.

Dewgy posted:

PYF dogs with mismatching heads

Gorilla Salad posted:

Pitbull-dachshund:

SpacePig posted:

This looks less like a dog and more like an otter put together by somebody who's never seen an otter before.

Wedemeyer posted:

Junior Jr. posted:

The movie opened up here in the UK, I bit the bullet and went to a screening, now before you start bitching at me going "you idiot, you didn't like the movie to begin with, what was the point of paying to go see it if you knew it was bad?"

who said anything about PAYING to see it?



-

Before I went to see the film, I looked for the leaked plotlines from the reddit post and listed each one of them in a check list, I also threw in some other plotlines according to the trailers and tv spots.



I got about half right, but the point is the majority of the movie is pretty much the leak, with some tweaks here and there, so it all checks out.

I even detailed almost everything that happens exactly in the movie, including gags, cameos, sequence of events, and stats.



I was seriously shocked how close the leak was to the final product, I can't believe it was THAT bad. Also Feig and Dippold shoehorn SO MANY references to the original film, you wouldn't last a drinking game around it.

a couple of things I forgot to add, the "usher concert" line wasn't in the final version, and (I might be overthinking this gag) Wiig and McCarthy's white hair is possibly a reference to that line from Ernie "I've seen poo poo that'll turn you white", like...make your hair turn white, don't know if you can make that comparison though.

overall, the movie turned out to be poo poo after all...and you're not missing much.

e: when they played the proton dual pistols slow-mo scene...someone behind me actually clapped for that. I swear I'm not making this up.

LethalGeek posted:

Just bookmark the Rio thread because the Olympics is promising to be a poo poo show at a level that we can barely comprehend.

LethalGeek posted:

Just bookmark the Rio thread because the Olympics is promising to be a poo poo show at a level that we can barely comprehend.

Krowley posted:

In a funny Sochi kinda way, with toilets mounted on ceilings and other rushed construction projects?

Or is it more like homeless people in concentration camps, and stray dogs getting beaten to death in the streets?

Attitude Indicator posted:

i just imagine him sitting in the theater with a pen and his long loving checklist scroll and just furiously scribbling notes

E: and then i laugh

Guy Mann posted:

Source: The cool, funny, and definitely sane OP the the Ghostbusters hate thread after five months of almost daily posts about how terrible the new Ghostbusters movie will be

Guy Mann posted:

Source: The cool, funny, and definitely sane OP the the Ghostbusters hate thread after five months of almost daily posts about how terrible the new Ghostbusters movie will be

Guy Mann posted:

Source: The cool, funny, and definitely sane OP the the Ghostbusters hate thread after five months of almost daily posts about how terrible the new Ghostbusters movie will be

zoux posted:

Guys I don't think he went into this movie with an open mind.

Why are nerds so bad at media crit