you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .ppt

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .ppt

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Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

only eat pizza rolls to avoid social faux pas imo

# ? Aug 24, 2016 02:57

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# ? May 2, 2024 07:30

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

Vey Naise Guys My Beetches

# ? Aug 24, 2016 03:07

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

King Vidiot posted:

No but seriously, how the gently caress are we supposed to pronounce things then? What should someone who's not Mexican say when they say taco? TACK-oh? Tuh-KOH? "TAH-co" is how it's pronounced, they pronounce it in every single Taco Bell commercial that way. It's the name of one of the whitest franchises in the US. And I pronounce a quesadilla "keh-sah-deejah" because that's how it's loving pronounced.

Should I call gyros "JIE-rose" and croissants "crescent rolls"?

No, you're totally missing the point. Here, watch this educational video and see if you can't work out what we're trying to get across:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWMp_z7Jnxw

# ? Aug 24, 2016 03:35

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

I have intentionally mispronounced things for so long that I have to remember to pronounce them correctly. Kwez-uh-dilluh. Tor-tilluh. And the ever-popular fuh-jie-tuh.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 03:41

Dongicus: Jun 12, 2015

what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on? what if the dogs had a fedora on?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 03:42

fappenmeister: Nov 19, 2004; My hand wields the might

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I have intentionally mispronounced things for so long that I have to remember to pronounce them correctly. Kwez-uh-dilluh. Tor-tilluh. And the ever-popular fuh-jie-tuh.

My friend loves saying the J in jalape�os loudly anywhere we go, he makes a point of doing it in large crowds with a straight face. Ja-la-pen-oss.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 04:34

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

fappenmeister posted:

My friend loves saying the J in jalapeños loudly anywhere we go, he makes a point of doing it in large crowds with a straight face. Ja-la-pen-oss.

If he isn't pronouncing it as either hello-penis or jello-penis than he needs to step up his intentional mispronunciation game.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 04:47

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

fappenmeister posted:

My friend loves saying the J in jalape�os loudly anywhere we go, he makes a point of doing it in large crowds with a straight face. Ja-la-pen-oss.

I pretty much only do it amongst friends and family - I am generally pretty well-behaved in public.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 04:48

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

lol @ anyone so ignorant of female anatomy they think the clit is touching the saddle

the clit's out front, my friends, not between the booty cheeks, do you think biker ladies are secretly masturbating or have you just never seen the perineum of a vagina-haver with the lights on

(ps if the clit were in a position to contact the saddle women would ACTIVELY HATE riding horses... I've gone horseback riding exactly twice in my life and hated both times because if any part of your nethers is pressed against the saddle it's like getting beaten with a two-by-four until your butt knuckles rupture. If your crotch is nestling the pommel you're basically riding the handlebars of the bike, you'll look like a loving idiot and your joints are going to last twenty-two seconds AND the horse will be angry that you're so stupid and probably throw you off. Girls like horses because they are enormous powerful animals that can be trained to submit to their direction and control, and because Lisa Frank.)

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:08

PallasAthene: Dec 6, 2010; Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?

Bored posted:

I'm hoping you made the same face while he was talking that I made while I was reading this. My face kinda hurt because of how hard I was scowling.

While he was talking I did that thing where you unconsciously pull your head back and make a face like you just got some soap in your mouth. As soon as he finished, my response was "Go away or I'll pepper spray you."

King Vidiot posted:

No but seriously, how the gently caress are we supposed to pronounce things then? What should someone who's not Mexican say when they say taco? TACK-oh? Tuh-KOH? "TAH-co" is how it's pronounced, they pronounce it in every single Taco Bell commercial that way. It's the name of one of the whitest franchises in the US. And I pronounce a quesadilla "keh-sah-deejah" because that's how it's loving pronounced.

Should I call gyros "JIE-rose" and croissants "crescent rolls"?

TAH-co is perfect. But when someone forces the t-sound until its somewhere between a "th" and "d" sound, it's just embarrassing for all involved.

Do you pronounce "croissant" the way its spelled in English or would you unironically say "This morning I had a sausage and egg kweh-sooone at McDonalds before work."? If so, then crescent roll is probably the way to go.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:10

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Horses are social animals, like dogs. They are fun to ride and they communicate well with people. They're not scary if you're used to them. Good animals.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:11

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

I'm waiting on them to finally get rid of the idiot stigma from eating horses and open up horse slaughterhouses so i can have some horse steaks

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:15

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

There are so many cool and cute animals in the world that I just don't have time for the big goofy one that pretty much can't survive without being swaddled in bubblewrap and would need me to clean clots out of its penis on the reg. Plus apparently they can't even work the clit but still expect tens of thousands of dollars of upkeep.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:18

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

PallasAthene posted:

While he was talking I did that thing where you unconsciously pull your head back and make a face like you just got some soap in your mouth. As soon as he finished, my response was "Go away or I'll pepper spray you."

TAH-co is perfect. But when someone forces the t-sound until its somewhere between a "th" and "d" sound, it's just embarrassing for all involved.

Do you pronounce "croissant" the way its spelled in English or would you unironically say "This morning I had a sausage and egg kweh-sooone at McDonalds before work."? If so, then crescent roll is probably the way to go.

I took way too many years of French to screw up croissant without putting actual effort into it. When I actually accidentally mispronounce Spanish and Italian words it's because I'm trying to apply French pronunciation to them and it doesn't match up.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:20

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

i feel like there's a difference between just pronouncing a spanish word correctly and talking like michael scott's impersonation of a mexican and you guys are talking past each other a bit

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:21

PallasAthene: Dec 6, 2010; Why, vixen, have you again set the gods by the ears in the pride and haughtiness of your heart?

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I took way too many years of French to screw up croissant without putting actual effort into it. When I actually accidentally mispronounce Spanish and Italian words it's because I'm trying to apply French pronunciation to them and it doesn't match up.

I'm not sure if that "kweh-soone" even approximates the correct way to say it, but I've heard people drop that into conversation while trying to put on airs. It's even funnier if it doesn't even sound close.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:23

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

Moridin920 posted:

i feel like there's a difference between just pronouncing a spanish word correctly and talking like michael scott's impersonation of a mexican and you guys are talking past each other a bit

I'm a little distracted by dogs. I think there's more of them now. :stare:

PallasAthene posted:

I'm not sure if that "kweh-soone" even approximates the correct way to say it, but I've heard people drop that into conversation while trying to put on airs. It's even funnier if it doesn't even sound close.

I can picture what you are describing. The actual pronunciation just has some sounds which are not a normal part of English, so those people trying to sound urbane without knowing how to form the sounds required end up mangling it like a toddler.

CaptainSarcastic fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Aug 24, 2016

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:23

cheetah7071: Oct 20, 2010; honk honk; College Slice

I'm allergic to horses therefore kill all horses

# ? Aug 24, 2016 05:25

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

christopher reeve liked horses n now hes fuckin dead

# ? Aug 24, 2016 06:35

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

horses killed superman. they are the ultimate villain.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:30

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

they didnt kill him just his career

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:34

Turdfuzz: Jul 23, 2008

by paralyzing him horribly for the rest of his life

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:34

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

they took him out real slow and without dignity. loving horses.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:37

fappenmeister: Nov 19, 2004; My hand wields the might

Goodbye Horses, and nice guys asking "would you gently caress me? I'd gently caress me" to their own reflections like Buffalo Bill, but loving cockrat bitches won't.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:54

KomodoWagon: May 10, 2013; by R. Guyovich

Moridin920 posted:

I think that poo poo is no more or less common than it always has been, you just hear about it easily now bc the internet and modern technology.

It's not like the Marquis de Sade was the first weirdo to ever exist and I'm pretty sure bondage is as old as rope and cured leather.

Bondage before Marquis de Sade:

Man: "I wanna tie you up and gently caress you."
Woman: "Okay I'm basically property and you seem cool with that so go right ahead."

Bondage after Marquis de Sade:

Man: "Verily, in order to connect with our basic human drives and emotions I shall tie you up and gently caress you so that we may connect on a primal level, reaching ever greater levels of mutual understanding and spiritual enlightenment."
Woman: "Okay I'm basically property and you seem cool with that so go right ahead."

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:58

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Moridin920 posted:

i feel like there's a difference between just pronouncing a spanish word correctly and talking like michael scott's impersonation of a mexican and you guys are talking past each other a bit

This is what we've been trying to get across. It's not about pronouncing a word right, it's going out of your way to show that you're pronouncing it right and looking like a loving tool in the process.

I'll post this Saturday Night Live sketch again for those who still have problems understanding what PallasAthene et al were talking about :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWMp_z7Jnxw

# ? Aug 24, 2016 07:58

Kurtofan: Feb 16, 2011; hon hon hon

bitches have overran gbs

feels like I'm going to have epilepsy

# ? Aug 24, 2016 08:05

cnut: May 3, 2016

elise the great posted:

lol @ anyone so ignorant of female anatomy they think the clit is touching the saddle

the clit's out front, my friends, not between the booty cheeks, do you think biker ladies are secretly masturbating or have you just never seen the perineum of a vagina-haver with the lights on

(ps if the clit were in a position to contact the saddle women would ACTIVELY HATE riding horses... I've gone horseback riding exactly twice in my life and hated both times because if any part of your nethers is pressed against the saddle it's like getting beaten with a two-by-four until your butt knuckles rupture. If your crotch is nestling the pommel you're basically riding the handlebars of the bike, you'll look like a loving idiot and your joints are going to last twenty-two seconds AND the horse will be angry that you're so stupid and probably throw you off. Girls like horses because they are enormous powerful animals that can be trained to submit to their direction and control, and because Lisa Frank.)

# ? Aug 24, 2016 10:32

Groovelord Neato: Dec 6, 2014

elise the great posted:

lol @ anyone so ignorant of female anatomy they think the clit is touching the saddle

the clit's out front, my friends

and now we know why men think dicking is enough.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 11:18

cnut: May 3, 2016

Only the ignorant ones. Which may make up a large sample of men but I wouldn't know.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 11:23

Redmanred: Aug 29, 2005; My hometown japan

elise the great posted:

lol @ anyone so ignorant of female anatomy they think the clit is touching the saddle

the clit's out front, my friends, not between the booty cheeks, do you think biker ladies are secretly masturbating or have you just never seen the perineum of a vagina-haver with the lights on

(ps if the clit were in a position to contact the saddle women would ACTIVELY HATE riding horses... I've gone horseback riding exactly twice in my life and hated both times because if any part of your nethers is pressed against the saddle it's like getting beaten with a two-by-four until your butt knuckles rupture. If your crotch is nestling the pommel you're basically riding the handlebars of the bike, you'll look like a loving idiot and your joints are going to last twenty-two seconds AND the horse will be angry that you're so stupid and probably throw you off. Girls like horses because they are enormous powerful animals that can be trained to submit to their direction and control, and because Lisa Frank.)

A car with worn shocks going down a dirt road

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:18

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

ElGroucho posted:

Being hispanic is a real motherfucker. I meet people all the time that think we're going to be best friends because we are both chicanos that speak spanish.

There are millions of us here, dude, that any sort of game changer. Especially not in Texas.

"Hola."

"Did we just become best amigos?"

# ? Aug 24, 2016 14:29

Bored: Jul 26, 2007; Dude, ix-nay on the oice-vay.

PallasAthene posted:

While he was talking I did that thing where you unconsciously pull your head back and make a face like you just got some soap in your mouth. As soon as he finished, my response was "Go away or I'll pepper spray you."

Yep. Pretty sure soap in the mouth is a perfect description of the face I was making as I read that.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:00

King Vidiot: Feb 17, 2007; You think you can take me at Satan's Hollow? Go 'head on!

Gorilla Salad posted:

I'll post this Saturday Night Live sketch again for those who still have problems understanding what PallasAthene et al were talking about :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWMp_z7Jnxw

That video's not available in the land of Tehaco Belllllllll.

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:51

Stinky_Pete: Aug 16, 2015; Stinkier than your average bear; Lipstick Apathy

this horde of bitches doesn't deserve a nice background like GBS

# ? Aug 24, 2016 16:59

house of the dad: Jul 4, 2005

# ? Aug 24, 2016 17:04

dsf: Jul 1, 2004

elise the great posted:

lol @ anyone so ignorant of female anatomy they think the clit is touching the saddle

the clit's out front, my friends, not between the booty cheeks, do you think biker ladies are secretly masturbating or have you just never seen the perineum of a vagina-haver with the lights on

(ps if the clit were in a position to contact the saddle women would ACTIVELY HATE riding horses... I've gone horseback riding exactly twice in my life and hated both times because if any part of your nethers is pressed against the saddle it's like getting beaten with a two-by-four until your butt knuckles rupture. If your crotch is nestling the pommel you're basically riding the handlebars of the bike, you'll look like a loving idiot and your joints are going to last twenty-two seconds AND the horse will be angry that you're so stupid and probably throw you off. Girls like horses because they are enormous powerful animals that can be trained to submit to their direction and control, and because Lisa Frank.)

girls like horses because they have big dicks and they want to gently caress them

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:26

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

it's Mr Hands not Mrs Hands

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:30

Frosted Flake: Sep 13, 2011; Semper Shitpost Ubique

Semi-related to fitness as a cure for Nice Guys: Nice Guys who manage to avoid becoming weird PUA's or MGTOW but manage to get in shape and join a frat/make a team seem to really double down on racking up as high a number as possible. I dunno if it's making up for lost time or new confidence but it's pretty funny to watch. Anyone know what I'm talking about?

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:50

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# ? May 2, 2024 07:30

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

they're still insecure and realise that finally accomplishing this goal of getting some pussy was actually shallow so they devote themselves to loving as many people as possible in vain attempt to find the meaning they assigned to it

# ? Aug 24, 2016 18:54

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > you whore bitches don't deserve a nice guy like me .ppt

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