elise the great posted:

but I (and many other healthcare goons) have jammed things into dicks and had blood come out of said dicks and kinda shrugged and wiped it off the thing I jammed in there and made a mental note to squirt some lidocaine up in there later if he starts getting feisty

Solice Kirsk posted:

Unlike elf dicks which, thanks to you, I now know are made to have things shoved into them.

CaptainViolence posted:

groverhaus is one ladderless pool away from looking like literally everything I ever built in the sims

Captain Candyblood posted:

It's my day off and all I want to do is rest and turn my brain off. Instead I'm looking at a man who can stuff three fingers inside his foreskin and pours honey down his dick. My life is in shambles.

Lord Hydronium posted:

My impression of British cartoons is the Queen barfing on Boris Johnson while simultaneously making GBS threads on a bird in the shape of Theresa May, who's holding a clothespin representing Nigel Farage (for reasons only the cartoonist remembers now) and shouting "THAT'S A BREXIT!", and the whole thing's done in the style of a Goya painting.

Outrail posted:

If that wasn't a quote it is now.

Jenny Angel posted:

I'd watch a Making a Murderer Christmas special where the documentarians explain the last 10 years of wrestling storylines to Brendan Dassey while he reacts with mild approval

betterinsodapop posted:

23 year old idiot tourist falls into scalding hot acid bath (aka boiling spring) at Yellowstone National Park, literally dissolves, is never seen again.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...bath/?tid=sm_tw

TotalLossBrain posted:

nice meltdown

YeahTubaMike posted:

A slightly old post about a very old subject

Elias_Maluco posted:

Got the new DPLE 5S



It has no headphone jack, but it does got some cool new features

KomodoWagon posted:

The butt thermometer is probably one of the most disillusioning experiences of my early childhood. It took my belief in a just and beautiful world just like it took my temperature.

Alone by Choice posted:

Kind of a mixed bag. I kidnaped my parents and tried to force them to empty their bank accounts so I could to Las Vegas. I got my rear end handed to me by some of Florida's finest before being baker acted. I escaped the first facility before being captured by cops again which ended with me getting my shoulder dislocated, and some broken fingers, Fell in love in the second mental health facility, but got rejected of course(lol), got some new meds with few side effects, and now I'm back home feeling somewhat optimistic. I am coming to terms with my lot in life, and am focused on cutting back my internet usage, masturbating, and binge eating.

Synthbuttrange posted:

Suspect Bucket posted:

Just plant raspberries, burglar/mountain lion deterrent and tasty snack all in one! Just make sure you don't have bears.

Ashcans posted:

On the other hand, a yard full of bears is probably one of the strongest security systems you can have.

SmokaDustbowl posted:

how many krangs must a man go through, before you call him a man?

SmokaDustbowl posted:

the answer my friend is in dimension x

GoutPatrol posted:

I have a Dyson ball vacuum cleaner where part of side of the ball wheel broke off. Its cool, under warranty. I pack it up, ship it back with a courier, they say they will ship it back the same week. Get it back 4 days later, put inside a larger box, unchanged. I really don't know what happened with the vacuum the past 4 days.

crazy cloud posted:

It murdered the dicks of everyone at the factory, so they desperately resealed it any way they could and returned it to let you deal w it

Troposphere posted:

if saying I want pizza is code for I want dick then I've been sending out some very mixed signals

Chichevache posted:

Powaqoatse posted:

I want a pizza with pizza on it but with eyebrows

Chichevache posted:

The thread is about pedophile sex rings and pizza parlours! So enjoy your ban.

Powaqoatse posted:

aaa holy gently caress i want a no pizza without pizza!!!!!!!

ugh i thought it was just dumb pizza puns

who even reads threads

Chichevache posted:

I gaze into the abyss so that you don't have to.

Powaqoatse posted:

I want a pizza with pizza on it but with eyebrows

Powaqoatse posted:

aaa holy gently caress i want a no pizza without pizza!!!!!!!

Prorat posted:

When my hot wife is sucking my large republican dick I think about Trump because winning makes me hard. I just can't stop winning.

flyboi posted:

Oh you reminded me I was in San Francisco earlier this month and went somewhere cool



If you watch GCCX you've probably seen the palace. It's a free museum of the largest collection of ancient coin operated games I know of.


"Oh, metal slug"

And why I remembered just now I got to play this

Which was fun and made me think of you d0s

And then there was this


Which I figured was going to be incredibly racist. I rolled the dice. They just fart for a minute straight and it's over.

Wamdoodle posted:

Oh drat, it's a GBS simulator

Ashcans posted:

On the other hand, a yard full of bears is probably one of the strongest security systems you can have.

burexas.irom posted:

Yup, that's the guy! Don't know why I remembered him bald. I also remember it with less naked children.

Thanks goons!

Sulla-Marius 88 posted:

everybody just take a moment and think about how many of your male friends' weiners you'd touch

i got to about 20 before i remembered i'm a registered sex offender

Absurd Alhazred posted:

hackbunny posted:

christ, somehow I knew he meant ranxerox before even reading it in context. THAT loving PANEL what the gently caress were they thinking

9-Volt Assault posted:

I estimated i needed 8 hours for a task, but i did it in 20 minutes, so i got 6 hours and 40 minutes left of doing nothing. Then i will deliver it an hour earlier and people will be like ''great job for being so fast!".

Yorkshire Pudding posted:

I work in Asia so that has the exact opposite effect. If I finish a job quickly people will assume I'm lazy because I put less time into something than whatever was the amount determined to be "appropriate" for the task. If I'm given until Thursday to finish a project I usually wait until Friday to hand it in, then receive praise for all the time and effort that went into it, regardless of actual quality.

hackbunny posted:

christ, somehow I knew he meant ranxerox before even reading it in context. THAT loving PANEL what the gently caress were they thinking

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

I'm curious, but also paranoid about what this mysterious panel could be.

quote:

RanXerox is a punk, futuristic Frankenstein monster, and with the under-aged Lubna,

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

I'm curious, but also paranoid about what this mysterious panel could be.

fleshy echidna posted:

So I'm one of the loving idiots who googled that name and don't. I never thought that a google image results page would make me feel like I'm on a watch-list but this weirdo Italian pedophile comic managed to do it.