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Omglosser posted:But he deleted his correspondence to "wash his hands of this negativity"! That's normal right Sorry you are having to go through all this, her nonsense about trusting him etc etc is just "I find him attractive". She sounds like a piece of poo poo for doing this to you and you are better off without her.
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Dec 13, 2016 18:17
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mewse posted:It's depressingly common Yeah lol One time i brought a female friend to try BJJ and after a while the guy who taught the womens class (not my instructor but another higher belt) was grooming her and acting weird around me until I was like "Yah thats not my girlfriend lol" so he was free to abuse his position as is his wont. Sexual tension runs high in the spandex pants grabass sport
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Dec 13, 2016 18:18
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manyak posted:Yeah lol I'm so glad that my two clubs have adult women in senior club positions. It really helps to smother the sexual harassment.
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Dec 13, 2016 18:50
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He is loving your girlfriend and everyone knows it but you. Everyone involved is nuts and its time to bounce on to a better gym.
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Dec 13, 2016 18:58
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Wangsbig posted:where? how? I've seen my share of weird hero worship but this would be incredibly frowned upon anywhere I've trained I'm only involved in amateur boxing not BJJ but the stories I've heard of coaches loving their (adult) female students..
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Dec 13, 2016 19:10
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I was one of the assisting instructors and ended up marrying one of the students. Does that count? .Although to the best of my knowledge, she wasn't seeing anyone when she started at our club.
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Dec 13, 2016 19:17
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manyak posted:Yeah lol
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Dec 13, 2016 19:18
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I used to pop my head into a local gym where I was friendly with the head black belt who has phenomenal jiu jitsu and this new white belt girl started training and suddenly 50% of his rolling time was dedicated to helping to mold her game. It didn't bother me since it wasn't my main gym but lol dude could not have been more overt.
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Dec 13, 2016 19:23
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ImplicitAssembler posted:I was one of the assisting instructors and ended up marrying one of the students. Does that count? You do you bro, it's like dating in the office place. Yea it could end up cool like yours, I assume, but for every time it was cool there's times where poo poo happens and causes a whole mess of drama and the gym suffers for it.
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Dec 13, 2016 19:27
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also dude - your coach has already hosed your (ex?) girlfriend - which sucks but it's kind of your fault (sort of not really) but you should probably just cut it out of your life and move on
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Dec 13, 2016 19:28
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also definitely don't stab your coach - you'll either go to jail or get your rear end hilariously kicked in front of your girlfriend who will probably get turned on by the whole thing
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Dec 13, 2016 19:31
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Is the coach actually Brazilian?
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Dec 13, 2016 20:12
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KildarX posted:You do you bro, it's like dating in the office place. Yea it could end up cool like yours, I assume, but for every time it was cool there's times where poo poo happens and causes a whole mess of drama and the gym suffers for it. Yeah, to be fair, I was aware of the potential fallout risk and was aware that I probably would have to change club, should it go awry. Many of us mixed socially after practice and a lot of us in the same age-group (25-35), so relationships, if not common, certainly weren't unheard of. The only real drama was when one couple split up, but they joined as a couple and eventually sorted themselves out enough to be able to practice together. (Although that did take a couple of years)
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Dec 13, 2016 20:26
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There is a middle ground on gym relationships - adults need to meet people somewhere, after all, and social-recreational activities are one of the main avenues for that - but there certainly shouldn't be a power differential involved. When any relationship begins to develop, if the persons are responsible consenting adults, they should do their best consciously to ensure that it doesn't become gym drama with preferential treatment and clique development and the like. If it's affecting practice, it's bad for everyone. The times I've seen these things work out, there was no in-practice hint of anything until the couple was already at that "going to each others' families' homes for holidays" point. It's also really really bad and gross if the male club members, especially the senior ones, treat any new women like fresh meat. That just serves to make gyms gross and to drive away female students. tl;dr take it slow and don't be gross.
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Dec 13, 2016 22:20
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Grandmaster.flv posted:also dude - your coach has already hosed your (ex?) girlfriend - which sucks but it's kind of your fault (sort of not really) but you should probably just cut it out of your life and move on How is it my fault exactly? She's an adult. She made her choices.
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Dec 13, 2016 22:41
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Omglosser posted:How is it my fault exactly? She's an adult. She made her choices. You took your girlfriend to a gym presumably filled with athletic men that like to dominate with their hips and you are a goon that likes anime.
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Dec 13, 2016 22:47
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it's pretty lovely and the best thing to do would be to just cut them all out of your life and move on
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Dec 13, 2016 22:48
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Grandmaster.flv posted:You took your girlfriend to a gym presumably filled with athletic men that like to dominate with their hips and you are a goon that likes anime. lol they're a bunch of slightly overweight middle aged dorks. I've already made my peace with it and am indeed moving on with my life. No offense but I like a little anime or whatever but you don't know anything else about me besides that this situation has made me crazy enough to think posting it here was a good idea lol.
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Dec 13, 2016 22:56
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Dec 13, 2016 23:01
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Omglosser posted:lol they're a bunch of slightly overweight middle aged dorks. I've already made my peace with it and am indeed moving on with my life. No offense but I like a little anime or whatever but you don't know anything else about me besides that this situation has made me crazy enough to think posting it here was a good idea lol. yeah, ironically your best defense would be to buy a pair of running shoes and just run away from it all
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Dec 13, 2016 23:01
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Yeah a white belt girl at my club's started going out with one of the purple belts, but that's just adults meeting doing something cool. I've never seen any of this creepy poo poo you guys are talking about at the couple of clubs I've trained at, poo poo's hosed up. Good job moving on basically Grandmaster.flv posted:You took your girlfriend to a gym presumably filled with athletic men that like to dominate with their hips and you are a goon that likes anime. Dunno what this nerd's talking about
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Dec 14, 2016 00:02
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You don't know what anime is?
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Dec 14, 2016 00:22
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mewse posted:You don't know what anime is? In broad concept, I guess
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Dec 14, 2016 00:26
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i feel like the lines between anime enjoyer and bjj forums poster intersect 100% of the time, if not more
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Dec 14, 2016 01:21
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Wangsbig posted:i feel like the lines between anime enjoyer and
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Dec 14, 2016 01:26
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Grandmaster.flv posted:You took your girlfriend to a gym presumably filled with athletic men that like to dominate with their hips and you are a goon that likes anime. I don't like anime but I'm pretty loving goony. Id be pissed if my girlfriend suddenly thought it was ok to cheat because she had met some athletic men. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect not to be cheated on by your other half.
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Dec 14, 2016 02:10
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Grandmaster.flv posted:You took your girlfriend to a gym presumably filled with athletic men that like to dominate with their hips and you are a goon that likes anime. Your immediate reaction to someone's girlfriend cheating on them being "Well you shouldn't have taken her somewhere she might meet dudes other than you" is maybe a little more revealing of your attitude towards relationships than you might have intended.
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Dec 14, 2016 02:21
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fatherdog posted:Your immediate reaction to someone's girlfriend cheating on them being "Well you shouldn't have taken her somewhere she might meet dudes other than you" is maybe a little more revealing of your attitude towards relationships than you might have intended. nah, taking your girlfriend with confidence issues to a gym where 'middle aged dorks' can outperform you is perhaps pretty stupid (granted with hindsight)
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Dec 14, 2016 02:53
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Grandmaster.flv posted:nah, taking your girlfriend with confidence issues to a gym where 'middle aged dorks' can outperform you is perhaps pretty stupid (granted with hindsight) Do you routinely have your partners cheat on you and leave you for someone who isn't as unatheletic as you? That seems like a really lovely way to live with your frame of mind and logic.
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Dec 14, 2016 03:09
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willie_dee posted:Do you routinely have your partners cheat on you and leave you for someone who isn't as unatheletic as you? That seems like a really lovely way to live with your frame of mind and logic. no, but I do suspect there is a whole lot of projection in this post willie!
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Dec 14, 2016 03:13
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I also suspect I actually ruffled some feathers with the anime comment and for that I do apologize lol
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Dec 14, 2016 03:14
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My favorite anime is Berserk
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Dec 14, 2016 03:16
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Grandmaster.flv posted:no, but I do suspect there is a whole lot of projection in this post willie! Lol
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Dec 14, 2016 03:17
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Grandmaster.flv posted:no, but I do suspect there is a whole lot of projection in this post willie! You can claim I'm projecting all you want, I'm not the one who thinks it's a bad idea to introduce your partner to potential male competition. Its weird and makes me think you might be a bit fritzl like in your attitude to women.
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Dec 14, 2016 03:40
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I don't know what the gently caress a fritzl is but no I don't think I'd usher my girlfriend with confidence and self-esteem issues into a gym environment whereOmglosser posted:I've honestly never felt comfortable because that would be dumb as poo poo. Also do I need to remind you that you've spent perhaps upwards of five god drat years on this stupid dead forum proselytizing someone you've never met is gay - over and over again compulsively -, you've given up on yourself and started taking steroids because you're an anorexic weak twink and that on top of all that you're mentally ill? Buddy, don't talk to me about 'potential male competition' (???) - I know you're not dealing with that poo poo.
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Dec 14, 2016 04:04
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I've hooked up with girls at the gym and despite it never being a thing it was always kind of awkward later but nothing came of it because we were all adults. Still, I'd recommend not mixing your love life and mat life if you can avoid - ymmv of course
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Dec 14, 2016 04:07
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Drag him
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Dec 14, 2016 04:39
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What a world I live in. The guy that needs to bring a knife around with him "just in case" things turn sour with his coach is better adjusted than the guy offering him "advice". gently caress that gym man, you'll be better for it and gently caress those people too.
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Dec 14, 2016 05:11
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Grandmaster.flv posted:also definitely don't stab your coach - you'll either go to jail or get your rear end hilariously kicked in front of your girlfriend who will probably get turned on by the whole thing Stop robbing the world of another Fabricio Werdum.
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Dec 14, 2016 05:34
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Just came here to call your girlfriend dumb and you dumb for staying in the gym. Seriously though find a new gym where you can be comfortable to train. Your now ex gf obviously has some pretty deep daddy issues so it's better you found out now rather than down the line.
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Dec 14, 2016 06:14
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