/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > /r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

Mega64: May 23, 2008; I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

What the hell is this derail. Make a thread about it if you want, but let's keep it out of this thread.

e: Beaten more eloquently:

Ratjaculation posted:

this heated debate is stupid and lame

# ? Dec 14, 2016 00:27

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:48

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I don't know why people are always so emotionally invested in how other people decide which jacket to wear but it is a universal constant of the Internet

loquacius fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Dec 14, 2016

# ? Dec 14, 2016 00:29

Hug in a Can: Aug 1, 2010; NICE FLAMINGO
kind heart
fierce mind
brave spirit

be good and try hard!

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeff summary: I hate my girlfriend because she is extremely sexy and kind

I don't know her and I like her :3:

Beautiful, hardworking, kind... that's the kind of person I want to be/date. What a role model.

Don't you love being around people who show you how to be a better person? I know I do. I hope you're appreciating the good people in your life. Be like Gallant the Girlfriend, not Goofus the Gremlin Guy OP!

# ? Dec 14, 2016 00:30

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Gaunab posted:

ex and the bff

"kiss my rear end" is the proper response here.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 00:31

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

Fullhouse posted:

so what you're saying is he's a narcissist

probably true tbh

also, I will gladly take his kind, loving, beautiful, generous, and successful girlfriend off his hands

He's possibly a narcissist but I'm not a doctor or qualified to diagnose over the Internet. It's just that his explanations and behavior and the specific things he says and notices that raise familiar douche chills up and down my spine.

You know how we all kind of have that dirty knee-jerk response of 'daddy issues' when we see a twenty year age gap in one of these things? This guy triggered my 'mommy issue' equivalent of that to the extent I'd put money on him having either a hosed up or nonexistent relationship with his mother.

It's me, I'm the Freudian analysis.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 00:49

Earwicker: Jan 6, 2003

just stumbled across this, it is not from r/relationships, it's from r/destiny (about the video game) but its very good imo especially the texts in the imgur link

quote:

The dramatic conclusion to "When the girl you're dating doesn't like Destiny"

Hello fellow guardians! I have returned with an update to my post from Friday. I honestly could not believe the overwhelming response. For those of you that offered relationship advise, I really appreciate it and am happy to see that our community is so willing to help out a fellow guardian if they feel they are in need of guidance. And for those who finished reading my post and saw that I already made my decision, my hats off to you for getting to join in with me on a funny way to handle a serious situation.
.
Now I know a lot of people are curious as to what happened and what I decided to do. Well I'm here to bring some closure to the story. I ended up deciding to do both Iron banner and Trials. I got 2 of my characters up to rank 5 in Iron Banana and got some sweet distant stars. Then had some rough compotation in trials and only made it to 7 all weekend. It was a pretty emotionally devastating weekend to say the least. Trials and I have always had a love hate relationship which I don't think will ever change.
.
Well I hope that cleared a few things up for people and brought them some much needed closure! Good luck out there guardians and happy hunting!
.
oh! I guess some of you will want to know what happened with the girl. This should clear things up.

https://imgur.com/gallery/AE9mY

Edit: Link to original post for context https://www.reddit.com/r/DestinyTheGame/comments/5hhane/when_the_girl_youre_dating_doesnt_like_destiny/

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:01

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Earwicker posted:

just stumbled across this, it is not from r/relationships, it's from r/destiny (about the video game) but its very good imo especially the texts in the imgur link

I find this hard to believe.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:13

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

Earwicker posted:

just stumbled across this, it is not from r/relationships, it's from r/destiny (about the video game) but its very good imo especially the texts in the imgur link

I'm not sure if I should judge this dude or put him up there with Pete.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:14

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

LethalGeek posted:

I'm not sure if I should judge this dude or put him up there with Pete.

Pete was a hero, this is pathetic.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:19

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Tiny Deer posted:

It wasn't about the money at all--it was about spending the money on people who weren't him.

I'm going to jump off that guy with the too-nice girlfriend because I'm actually familiar with his kind:

He's not annoyed she's nice, he's jealous that she's nice.

There's a type of person who sees not just love but kindness as a limited resource. That makes the choice of who their partner is kind feel incredibly fraught, because, to this mindset, they're essentially committing emotional infidelity.

Combining this with anyone who is genuinely unusually compassionate, like his girlfriend is, and they can't handle it. They also usually don't know why they can't, or can't articulate it--or do know how to say what they feel, but they know it's inappropriate. 'I feel like my girlfriend is emotionally promiscuous' sounds crazy even to crazy people.

This is just compounded by her being attractive: not only is she emotionally available to anyone, she is physically desired by many people, and he already thinks she's incapable of distinguishing between people emotionally.

Basically he feels like she's capable of abandoning him at any moment, and he punishes her for it consciously or unconsciously.

On the other hand, if she was horribly face-mangled in an acid/blunt trauma accident and became a cynical dick afterwards who was slavishly devoted only to his happiness he still wouldn't be satisfied, because his need for love and affection is so all-encompassing and deeply rooted that it can't be reasonably fulfilled by another human being.

At least that's a theory of mine!

I've known, seen, and interacted with these people and I think you're right on the money.

He's also clearly one of those "zero-sum" morons who thinks that there's some sort of metagame going on of who has given however many kindness coins to whom. He confuses compassion with passivity and submissiveness. In reality, happiness tends to beget happiness, and by being generous she's probably getting a lot more in return than if she were a stingy jerk. Not in some sort of crafty way, that's just how it works out. People like people who like people.

But he cannot stand other people are getting coins from her happiness account, because they should be all for him! And he will be very careful who he gives kindness coins to, let me tell you, because kindness doesn't grow on trees. You have to invest it carefully beep boop

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:24

LethalGeek: Nov 4, 2009

WampaLord posted:

Pete was a hero, this is pathetic.

That last text was pretty loving funny.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:27

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Yeah if the person you're dating is fundamentally opposed to your hobby there isn't really a future there, but also that guy was a huge dork

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:29

MF_James: May 8, 2008; I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE

I mean, I KIND OF understand where the guy is coming from.

I have friends that moved away and we will play games together every so often, chat and catch-up while playing. My guess is, that this joker is downplaying how much time he actually spends on the game and plays for like 40 hours a week.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:29

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

Tiny Deer posted:

He's possibly a narcissist but I'm not a doctor or qualified to diagnose over the Internet. It's just that his explanations and behavior and the specific things he says and notices that raise familiar douche chills up and down my spine.

You know how we all kind of have that dirty knee-jerk response of 'daddy issues' when we see a twenty year age gap in one of these things? This guy triggered my 'mommy issue' equivalent of that to the extent I'd put money on him having either a hosed up or nonexistent relationship with his mother.

It's me, I'm the Freudian analysis.

This is the guy who, when you bring up any man you used to know in any capacity, assumes you slept with him.

"One time I had a professor who--" "did you gently caress him" "--studied eagles :raise:

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:31

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My boyfriend [27M] hid my [24F] Bop It from me because it gets on his nerves

Bop It is a handheld electronic game that I LOVE to play. My boyfriend hates it, he says it's obnoxious, so I didn't play in the same room as him. Well, that wasn't good enough, he said he could hear it all over the house and asked me not to play when he was home, or go outside, but it's December? We live in Michigan. I asked him couldn't he wear headphones when I played Bop It? He reluctantly agreed, but then last night my Bop It went missing.

At first, my boyfriend said I must have misplaced while drunk. Yes, I was very drunk. After looking for it to no avail, I started to get really depressed and my boyfriend admitted he hid it from me and refuses to give it back. What do I do???

TLDR: Boyfriend hid my Bop It from me because it annoys him and he hates it, refuses to give it back.

edit: reading the comments, she admits that she's kind of obsessed with Bop It, and she wants to play it non-stop. Commenters are making some headway getting her to consider cutting back.

Smirking_Serpent fucked around with this message at 01:37 on Dec 14, 2016

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:34

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

WAY TO GO WAMPA!! posted:

My sister (29F) is picking her cat over my (24F) son (6M) at Christmas
tried to find a sister post in /r/childfree but nothing came up :/

isn't it against the rules to not have the age and sex of the cat in the title?

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:35

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

Take his RAM outta his PC and hide that poo poo and keep doing that until he runs out of money

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:36

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My boyfriend [27M] hid my [24F] Bop It from me because it gets on his nerves

Bop It is a handheld electronic game that I LOVE to play. My boyfriend hates it, he says it's obnoxious, so I didn't play in the same room as him. Well, that wasn't good enough, he said he could hear it all over the house and asked me not to play when he was home, or go outside, but it's December? We live in Michigan. I asked him couldn't he wear headphones when I played Bop It? He reluctantly agreed, but then last night my Bop It went missing.

At first, my boyfriend said I must have misplaced while drunk. Yes, I was very drunk. After looking for it to no avail, I started to get really depressed and my boyfriend admitted he hid it from me and refuses to give it back. What do I do???

TLDR: Boyfriend hid my Bop It from me because it annoys him and he hates it, refuses to give it back.

that thing seemed obnoxious as gently caress from the commercials alone yeah

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:36

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

loquacius posted:

that thing seemed obnoxious as gently caress from the commercials alone yeah

Just imagine hearing this every day for hours?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFWB4CqQslE

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:38

FormerPoster: Aug 5, 2004; Hair Elf

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My boyfriend [27M] hid my [24F] Bop It from me because it gets on his nerves

Bop It is a handheld electronic game that I LOVE to play. My boyfriend hates it, he says it's obnoxious, so I didn't play in the same room as him. Well, that wasn't good enough, he said he could hear it all over the house and asked me not to play when he was home, or go outside, but it's December? We live in Michigan. I asked him couldn't he wear headphones when I played Bop It? He reluctantly agreed, but then last night my Bop It went missing.

At first, my boyfriend said I must have misplaced while drunk. Yes, I was very drunk. After looking for it to no avail, I started to get really depressed and my boyfriend admitted he hid it from me and refuses to give it back. What do I do???

TLDR: Boyfriend hid my Bop It from me because it annoys him and he hates it, refuses to give it back.

edit: reading the comments, she admits that she's kind of obsessed with Bop It, and she wants to play it non-stop. Commenters are making some headway getting her to consider cutting back.

Lol who the gently caress wants to play Bop It nonstop? Unless it's a euphemism for a vibrator, in which case yeah, I get it.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:39

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

MF_James posted:

I mean, I KIND OF understand where the guy is coming from.

I have friends that moved away and we will play games together every so often, chat and catch-up while playing. My guess is, that this joker is downplaying how much time he actually spends on the game and plays for like 40 hours a week.

regardless of the bibeo game what kind of idiot starts making ultimatums a month into a relationship?

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:42

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

my stepdaughter/domestic servant is too nice and keeps singing and showing compassion for others and it's pissing me off. how to destroy her faith in others and hope for the future?

tia

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:43

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Just imagine hearing this every day for hours?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFWB4CqQslE

I don't see how you can get tired of that

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:45

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

re: dude with successful/hot girlfriend

sounds like he's a miserable rear end in a top hat and he rationalizes it by saying everyone is just as big of an rear end in a top hat as he is. sorta of like how people might play off cheating since they assume everyone does it, except with being a douchebag

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:45

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Business Gorillas posted:

regardless of the bibeo game what kind of idiot starts making ultimatums a month into a relationship?

missed this detail

yeah yikes, :sever:

, good for that huge dork

# ? Dec 14, 2016 01:46

Mr. Creakle: Apr 27, 2007; Protecting your virginity

I'm just picturing that old "bop it! Twist it! Squeeze it" 90s commercial tune overlaying a desperate girlfriend running around and sneakily using it like a bottle of booze

But yeah, there's no way that's not an euphemism for something unless she is severely autistic. I think vibrator is the right call, insecure and/or babydicked men can get really mad at them. I guess it's the male equivalent of the girl who thinks looking at a porn clip is cheating :shrug:

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:06

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

I'm sorry, I'm trying to make sense of this part

quote:

My boyfriend hates it, he says it's obnoxious, so I didn't play in the same room as him. Well, that wasn't good enough, he said he could hear it all over the house and asked me not to play when he was home, or go outside, but it's December? We live in Michigan. I asked him couldn't he wear headphones when I played Bop It?

being about a vibrator and it just made me giggle

"no I will NOT masturbate outside, it's freezing. Put on headphones if you're tired of hearing my sex moans."

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:08

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

why would anyone use a euphemism for anything on reddit, where everyone is anonymous and you can make a throwaway account in five seconds?

none of them are going to be euphemisms

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:12

lazorexplosion: Mar 19, 2016

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Just imagine hearing this every day for hours?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFWB4CqQslE

lol

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:22

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pick posted:

This is the guy who, when you bring up any man you used to know in any capacity, assumes you slept with him.

"One time I had a professor who--" "did you gently caress him" "--studied eagles "

Eagles are powerful and regal creatures, the symbol of the greatest empire the world has ever known. No one would blame you if you hosed him. All of that glory has to rub off on a guy.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:37

54 40 or fuck: Jan 4, 2012; No Yanda's allowed

Bop it girl is probably autistic and that's her Sonic.

Hot Smart ARYAN Girl posted:

why would anyone use a euphemism for anything on reddit, where everyone is anonymous and you can make a throwaway account in five seconds?

none of them are going to be euphemisms

The same loving idiots that used the word pee pee for genitalia.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:39

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

54 40 or gently caress posted:

Bop it girl is probably autistic and that's her Sonic.

The same loving idiots that used the word pee pee for genitalia.

The preferred nomenclature is ding dong, please.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:42

forbidden dialectics: Jul 26, 2005

This is from a few pages ago but thinking 68F is cold is a deal breaker if I ever heard one. :sever:

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:45

WrenP-Complete: Jul 27, 2012

Pvt.Scott posted:

Eagles are powerful and regal creatures, the symbol of the greatest empire the world has ever known. No one would blame you if you hosed him. All of that glory has to rub off on a guy.

Yeah that eagle guy from before was ace. I have a bunch of wild animal friends but luckily my partner does not find that troubling!

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:51

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Pick posted:

This is the guy who, when you bring up any man you used to know in any capacity, assumes you slept with him.

"One time I had a professor who--" "did you gently caress him" "--studied eagles "

Well did you?

# ? Dec 14, 2016 02:52

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

Me [22F] with my bf [24M] of 2 years, my brother [29M] gave me three presents for my birthday and Christmas, he has a problem because he and my dad should be the only guys giving me nice presents

My brother will be missing Christmas this year. His job has him travelling a lot lately and this year he'd give me both my birthday and Christmas gifts before he left since my birthday is within the month as well. The gifts themselves, 2 birthday and 1 Christmas, were quite nice (I only opened 2 of them).

My boyfriend took it upon himself to google the cost of those gifts that I opened and the total came up to almost $1700. He became quite sullen and then got mad and annoyed when we were talking later, quoting the costs of the presents to me over the phone (which is how I found out what they cost). He's been rubbing it in for a week that it's strange my brother would spend so much and only a girl's boyfriend or dad (in terms of males in her life) should be spending that kind of money on her.

The problem here is that my boyfriend has never spent that kind of money on me, that isn't a problem for me at all because I understand his financial situation and both of us don't make a lot of money so I've asked him if it bothers him that he can't spend that kind of money but he said that isn't why he's mad so I'm completely confused.

It's not even anything weird, I have another brother and 3 other sisters and my older brother who bought me the gifts has always been the kind to give us neat presents that sometimes cost a bit so this is not some case of super special treatment. All of us just have good relationships with each other and my brother enjoys buying nice stuff for his family and friends.

Another thing to add is that my brother and boyfriend don't know each other very well. My boyfriend knows my other brother and one of my two sisters but as for my older brother and another of my sister's, they've never had much interaction since my brother + sister are usually busy with work.

What do I say to my boyfriend to hopefully change his opinion on this?

tl;dr: Boyfriend thinks it's wrong my brother gave me really expensive gifts and that the only men who should 'spend any money' on me are him and my dad

# ? Dec 14, 2016 03:03

Sorryformybadjokes: Apr 21, 2004; I identify as a simian who pronounces the 'silent' letters in words.; Fallen Rib

It's because he knows his crappy 'breakfast in bed' christmas gift is gonna look poo poo in comparison.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 03:09

Tiny Deer: Jan 16, 2012

Jeff Sichoe posted:

It's because he knows his crappy 'breakfast in bed' christmas gift is gonna look poo poo in comparison.

Maybe he can add a card that says 'don't gently caress your brother for money' to sweeten the deal. Just double the gently caress down.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 04:27

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

54 40 or gently caress posted:

The same loving idiots that used the word pee pee for genitalia.

My girlfriend [39F] puts her Bop It in her vagoo, how do I [46M] make it my pee pee instead?! Save sexytimes for me, Reddit bros!!!

# ? Dec 14, 2016 05:22

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 08:48

Nuebot: Feb 18, 2013; The developer of Brigador is a secret chud, don't give him money

Jeff Sichoe posted:

Hey buddy you mum's sister is a real bitch so we're gonna have christmas at mcdonalds instead yayyyy!!!

As a six year old I would have been psyched. I really want to know what happened between her kid and the cat though. I'm going to assume he either dropped it, or pulled its tail. Two things cat ladies get really pissed about in my experience.

# ? Dec 14, 2016 06:38

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