NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

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Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

mcmagic posted:

Just want to say how much I despise the 3 day Draft format.

I'm gonna get tipsy and super excited and this anticlimactic poo poo is going to drag out over 3 hours like loving usual.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:19

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 13, 2024 09:53

Michael Corleone: Mar 30, 2011; by VideoGames

Taco Charlton locking up a deal with Taco Bell as we speak.

Corn Elder working the rounds in Iowa, trying to strike a deal with the Big Corn Lobby.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:20

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

Nintendo offered Tyus Bowser an endorsement deal

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:22

Harlock: Jan 15, 2006; Tap "A" to drink!!!

It would be okay if Cleveland just demolished the stadium by drafting Mitchy Tools #1.

There's nothing in the world that can convince this is a good pick.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:22

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

I'm gonna get tipsy and super excited and this anticlimactic poo poo is going to drag out over 3 hours like loving usual.

It hit me this morning that each team gets 15 minutes for the 1st round. That is unbearably long amount of time to pick and teams are incentivized to take every second because what if the Browns call with the deal of a lifetime.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:26

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:27

GOOD TIMES ON METH: Mar 17, 2006; Fun Shoe

I'm Joe Mixon and I'm ready to begin my NFL career with the help of Dyer, Garofalo, Mann & Schultz L.P.A.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:26

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

The Puppy Bowl posted:

It hit me this morning that each team gets 15 minutes for the 1st round. That is unbearably long amount of time to pick and teams are incentivized to take every second because what if the Browns call with the deal of a lifetime.

Good news, it's only 10!

First round: 10 minutes

Second round: seven minutes

Third through sixth rounds: five minutes

Seventh round: four minutes

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:26

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

https://twitter.com/jasoncolebr/status/857573931028549633

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/857608487932760065

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:37

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

I'd pick herr too :stwoon:

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:38

zimbomonkey: Jul 15, 2008; Tattoos? On MY black quarterback?

Please do it jags. That almost guarantees we won't take mccaffery

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:38

a new study bible!: Feb 2, 2009; BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

Wow

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:38

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

I just fell in love

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:41

YOLOsubmarine: Oct 19, 2004; When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

She's got better mechanics than Tebow, and he was a first rounder.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:43

SKULL.GIF: Jan 20, 2017

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl-mock-draft/2017/3/29/14869968/nfl-draft-2017-best-names-jake-butt-raekwon-mcmillan

code:

QB	Gunner Kiel		Cincinnati
RB	Shock Linwood		Baylor
WR	Speedy Noil		Texas A&M
WR	Bug Howard		North Carolina
WR	Kermit Whitfield	Florida State
        who'll be the NFL's first Kermit since the '70s. Think of the memes!!!
TE	Jake Butt		Michigan
OT	Max Rich		Harvard
OT	Justin Senior		Mississippi State
        indeed a redshirt senior
OG	Forrest Lamp		Western Kentucky
OG	Damien Mama		USC
C	None have fitting names. Air Force S Weston Steelhammer will just have to bulk up.	
DE	Taco Charlton		Michigan
        who tried not to like tacos (because of his nickname), but succumbed
DE	Gimel President		Illinois
DT	Dee Liner		Arkansas State
        who is a D liner
DT	Chunky Clements		Illinois
LB	Raekwon McMillan	Ohio State
LB	Ironhead Gallon		Georgia Southern
CB	Corn Elder		Miami
        who was offered by the Cornhuskers and later had one of his best games against them
CB	Will Likely		Maryland
        who goes by William these days
S	Money Hunter		Arkansas State
S	Budda Baker		Washington
S	Fish Smithson		Kansas
K	Chris Blewitt		Pitt
P	Alex Boy		Nevada

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:45

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Whoa, whoa.

Somebody named there child "Ironhead"? And he became a linebacker?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:54

EmbryoSteve: Dec 18, 2004; Taste~The~Rainbow

My blood sugar is gon' be like

~^^^^*WHOA*^^^^~

I swear to god if the niners get Garrett due to Browns dumbassery it will suck. I am getting legit worried

The Hawks O line have hard enough time simply not tripping on Wilson.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:54

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Fish Smithson is really fun to say out loud

# ? Apr 27, 2017 16:58

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

Ehud posted:

https://twitter.com/flamp76/status/857611570528100352

This owns.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:01

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

The Puppy Bowl posted:

Whoa, whoa.

Somebody named there child "Ironhead"? And he became a linebacker?

Sorry it's just a nickname

His real name is Deshawntee

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:00

Bismack Billabongo: Oct 9, 2012; New Love Glow

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl-mock-draft/2017/3/29/14869968/nfl-draft-2017-best-names-jake-butt-raekwon-mcmillan

code:

QB	Gunner Kiel		Cincinnati
RB	Shock Linwood		Baylor
WR	Speedy Noil		Texas A&M
WR	Bug Howard		North Carolina
WR	Kermit Whitfield	Florida State
        who'll be the NFL's first Kermit since the '70s. Think of the memes!!!
TE	Jake Butt		Michigan
OT	Max Rich		Harvard
OT	Justin Senior		Mississippi State
        indeed a redshirt senior
OG	Forrest Lamp		Western Kentucky
OG	Damien Mama		USC
C	None have fitting names. Air Force S Weston Steelhammer will just have to bulk up.	
DE	Taco Charlton		Michigan
        who tried not to like tacos (because of his nickname), but succumbed
DE	Gimel President		Illinois
DT	Dee Liner		Arkansas State
        who is a D liner
DT	Chunky Clements		Illinois
LB	Raekwon McMillan	Ohio State
LB	Ironhead Gallon		Georgia Southern
CB	Corn Elder		Miami
        who was offered by the Cornhuskers and later had one of his best games against them
CB	Will Likely		Maryland
        who goes by William these days
S	Money Hunter		Arkansas State
S	Budda Baker		Washington
S	Fish Smithson		Kansas
K	Chris Blewitt		Pitt
P	Alex Boy		Nevada

This is like that one Mst3k bit.

SHOCK. LINWOOD. CHUNKY. CLEMENTS. DIRK. HARDPEC.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:04

Michael Corleone: Mar 30, 2011; by VideoGames

Money Hunter has the best name and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:04

OperaMouse: Oct 30, 2010

SKULL.GIF posted:

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl-mock-draft/2017/3/29/14869968/nfl-draft-2017-best-names-jake-butt-raekwon-mcmillan

code:

QB	Gunner Kiel		Cincinnati
RB	Shock Linwood		Baylor
WR	Speedy Noil		Texas A&M
WR	Bug Howard		North Carolina
WR	Kermit Whitfield	Florida State
        who'll be the NFL's first Kermit since the '70s. Think of the memes!!!
TE	Jake Butt		Michigan
OT	Max Rich		Harvard
OT	Justin Senior		Mississippi State
        indeed a redshirt senior
OG	Forrest Lamp		Western Kentucky
OG	Damien Mama		USC
C	None have fitting names. Air Force S Weston Steelhammer will just have to bulk up.	
DE	Taco Charlton		Michigan
        who tried not to like tacos (because of his nickname), but succumbed
DE	Gimel President		Illinois
DT	Dee Liner		Arkansas State
        who is a D liner
DT	Chunky Clements		Illinois
LB	Raekwon McMillan	Ohio State
LB	Ironhead Gallon		Georgia Southern
CB	Corn Elder		Miami
        who was offered by the Cornhuskers and later had one of his best games against them
CB	Will Likely		Maryland
        who goes by William these days
S	Money Hunter		Arkansas State
S	Budda Baker		Washington
S	Fish Smithson		Kansas
K	Chris Blewitt		Pitt
P	Alex Boy		Nevada

Whoever did that D&D story about Money Hunter, Corn Elder, and Steelhammer: you know what you're doing in the coming hours...

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:06

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Michael Corleone posted:

Money Hunter has the best name and I will fight anyone who disagrees with me.

Blewitt as a kicker name, come on man

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:09

Michael Corleone: Mar 30, 2011; by VideoGames

Intruder posted:

Blewitt as a kicker name, come on man

But the football is the money and he is gonna hunt it. Excellent center field ball hawk IMHO.

e; Or we can use the old joke about playing for bounty payments

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:12

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Money isn't even his real name, it's a nickname

Blewitt for a kicker is perfect

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:14

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

How long did last year's first round take?

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:15

Michael Corleone: Mar 30, 2011; by VideoGames

I don't want any posers. You win!

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:16

mcmagic: Jul 1, 2004; If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!

SKULL.GIF posted:

https://twitter.com/jasoncolebr/status/857573931028549633

Last time the Jets were at 6 the best defensive player in the draft fell in their lap. COME ON ADAMS!

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:15

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

Leperflesh posted:

college players aren't paid and run up huge college loans and poo poo. Dude's maxing out his mom's credit card for whatever decent clothes he can afford, come on.

Uhhh - agents pay for all of that poo poo for the draft.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:20

Regnevelc: Jan 12, 2003; I'M A GROWN ASS MAN!

EmbryoSteve posted:

I swear to god if the niners get Garrett due to Browns dumbassery it will suck. I am getting legit worried

The Hawks O line have hard enough time simply not tripping on Wilson.

Yeah man, Vernon Gholston struck fear into my heart as well.

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:25

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

EmbryoSteve posted:

I swear to god if the niners get Garrett due to Browns dumbassery it will suck. I am getting legit worried

The Hawks O line have hard enough time simply not tripping on Wilson.

look out with Hoyer and Shanahan on board, if the Niners get Myles Garrett...

The Hawks will win 20-13 instead of 28-10

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:26

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Ehud posted:

with the first pick in the 2017 NFL draft the browns select

https://twitter.com/dailyloud/status/857424078633922562

Meet my future ex-wife

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:27

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Meet my future ex-wife

You divorced her because of her butter face? Can't say I disagree.

Helluva arm though :stare:

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:28

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Meet my future ex-wife

She did, she said she was a lousy kisser and selfish in bed

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:29

pubic works project: Jan 28, 2005; No Decepticon in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse or more unfairly.

weird Asian candy posted:

You divorced her because of her butter face? Can't say I disagree.

Helluva arm though

Those handjobs are probably a bit scary

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:31

weird Asian candy: Aug 23, 2005; Ask me about how my football team's success determines my self worth, and how I wish I lived in New Orleans.

pubic works project posted:

Those handjobs are probably a bit scary

She'd turn it into a javelin throw

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:32

Doltos: Dec 28, 2005; 🤌🤌🤌

hey one of you collect every single rumor blurb from twitter and rotoworld for me please, I want to see how accurate people are

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:46

wandler20: Nov 13, 2002; How many Championships?

Doltos posted:

hey one of you collect every single rumor blurb from twitter and rotoworld for me please, I want to see how accurate people are

Here's a fresh one:

https://twitter.com/RapSheet/status/857634947477241857

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 13, 2024 09:53

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

Alaois posted:

funslinging IS an asset, to totally rad and fun to watch games

# ? Apr 27, 2017 17:50

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Draft Thread 2017 - Oil up my Head Edition

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