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LeastActionHero
Oct 23, 2008

Tea Bone posted:

I've never played Smash Bros but I'm assuming the "One Million Matches" is just that? Is that even possible?

Apparently it's real. If you tape down a turbo controller with the right settings (so what would normally be a 2-3 minute match is finished in 3 seconds), it could be done in as little as 6 months. No one has ever come close by actually playing. That would be 200 vs matches a day to have done it by today.

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Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice

Dilb posted:

Apparently it's real. If you tape down a turbo controller with the right settings (so what would normally be a 2-3 minute match is finished in 3 seconds), it could be done in as little as 6 months. No one has ever come close by actually playing. That would be 200 vs matches a day to have done it by today.

They actually implemented something in the game that impossible?

He seems to casual-brag about a lot of really hard achievements. I actually looked up how hard it would be to create a level 200 Phantasy Star online player who only plays offline and it was pretty staggering. Claiming to do it more than once is highly implausible. Starting to think it was all bullshit.

Edit: Content

Trebek has a new favorite as of 20:14 on Jul 27, 2017

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc
6 foot baseball bat lol

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)
When I was 14 our computer got a bad virus and we had to wipe everything from it, and I lost all of my Rollercoaster Tycoon scenarios and all of my Sims families, some of which I had been playing since I was 9 or 10. So I can sympathize being bummed about something like that, but eughhh

Drunk Tomato
Apr 23, 2010

If God wanted us sober,
He'd knock the glass over.

Piell posted:

6 foot baseball bat lol

Literally an anime character's weapon

Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!

Drunk Tomato posted:

Literally an anime character's weapon

I would watch the poo poo out of a baseball anime where they wield buster sword bats

Kay Kessler
May 9, 2013

Drunk Tomato posted:

Literally an anime character's weapon


The famous anime character Bam-Bam.

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender









Why yes, I did steal all of them from here.

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice
#BlackGirlMagic

Olive!
Mar 16, 2015

It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...

I like the 40-44 on the side that clearly isn't even the same person's handwriting. Check out the 2 compared to all the other 2s.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

Woke Classroom, coming to Fox this fall

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice
What 8 other things did he do to them?

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

EVG posted:


(all shamelessly stolen from this dump: http://imgur.com/gallery/VJJ38)


I like this one





is "subscription" the wrong word there. I normally hear gym "membership"

like it was written by someone who has never been in a gym but is familiar with media words like subscription

Olive!
Mar 16, 2015

It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
idk about subscription vs membership but 'subscripton' is definitely not the right word

subscript on / subscript off

GreenMetalSun
Oct 12, 2012

quote:

So, possibly one of the coolest things I’ve ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the “women want him, men want to *be* him” stuff in old movies? Well I’m a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!

I’m having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a date. It is.. not going well. Guy was being rather creepy and making some pretty inappropriate comments, the girl doesn’t look at all comfortable.

The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly, my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says “well, least I know you can swallow right?”. Loudly.

Girl goes red and tells him that isn’t appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a “shoo” type motion and says “oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway”.

I missed her exact reply as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said - gently caress no, gently caress off, gently caress this. He responded with “sweetheart I picked you up, I know where you live”. She lost the colour in her face and said nothing.

No. No. gently caress no. I’m one of those “get involved” type of people and there is no way I’m sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I’m 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.

I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says “Easy.. I’ve got this one son”. Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to “stab him in the neck” and I’m already thinking maybe that’s not the best idea, I sit down.

He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn’t have any colour in his face.

Cop: “So, I’m quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?”

Guy: “I, ah, well, um, you see..”

Cop: “That’s what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I’m deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up.”

Guy: “oh no well that…”

Cop: “But that would disrupt everyone’s dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, because I wouldn’t want you running off on me, then you go see one of the staff here and settle your bill.. the full bill now, this young lady shouldn’t go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I’ll leave it up to you.”

Guy: “No no! That’s perfectly fine!” \*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter\*

Cop: \*while writing down the guys details\* “Sorry about that miss, I hope I’m not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don’t worry, if you want to pursue this further I’ll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further.”

Girl: “No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here”.

Cop: \*shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second\* “Well I’m here with my daughter, she’s about your age, perhaps you’d like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you’d like, unless you’d prefer to call someone else?”

Girl: “Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much!”

\*guy returns, so does the hardarse cop\*

Guy: “Uh so, I’ve paid the bill, if I could have my ID back..”.

Cop: “There you go.. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don’t go near or contact this young lady ever again.”

Guy: “Yes yes of course, I’m so sorry!”

The guy pretty much fled the restaurant, the girl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap.

It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero.

Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender

Ein cooler Typ posted:

like it was written by someone who has never been in a gym
Consider that a treadmill probably couldn't go 50mph without something breaking(nevermind the 'hacking' bullshit), they've definitely never been near a gym.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Haifisch posted:

Consider that a treadmill probably couldn't go 50mph without something breaking(nevermind the 'hacking' bullshit), they've definitely never been near a gym.

What's even more adorbs is that you think someone might actually whistle at them (other than an expression of incredulity something like that was out in public without a keeper.).

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

I tend to tune out when people call him drumpf. Just use his real drat name.

AlbieQuirky
Oct 9, 2012

Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

ilmucche posted:

I tend to tune out when people call him drumpf. Just use his real drat name.

:same:

Also, why is an English person and her kids' class nattering on about Trump when they have a perfectly lovely Prime Minister of their own right there?

Unless this is a US person who is just so much of a tea-a-boo that she thinks US kids call their teacher "Miss", in addition to various Anglicisms.

Prism
Dec 22, 2007

yospos

AlbieQuirky posted:

Also, why is an English person and her kids' class nattering on about Trump when they have a perfectly lovely Prime Minister of their own right there?

Unless this is a US person who is just so much of a tea-a-boo that she thinks US kids call their teacher "Miss", in addition to various Anglicisms.

For a while, notalwaysright would Anglicize posts because (at least) one of the people approving them was English and would 'fix' submissions. No idea if they still do, but if you go through archives there's a lot of them. I tried to mine them at one point, but I decided it was too obvious, and also going through their archives is miserable.

Prism has a new favorite as of 07:49 on Jul 28, 2017

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
Do you really get told about the Kristallnacht and atrocities of the Holocaust at 11 yo? I figured you wouldn't go into details on that subject until a bit later?

Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013


*through two handfuls of partially-chewed croutons* go to wounded warrior project dot org

Tea Bone
Feb 18, 2011

I'm going for gasps.

Fathis Munk posted:

Do you really get told about the Kristallnacht and atrocities of the Holocaust at 11 yo? I figured you wouldn't go into details on that subject until a bit later?

I was :shrug:. Not that it makes this story anymore true though.

quote:

Hitler would have killed me because I've got cerebral Palsy right?
Also, that seems pretty sociopathic making kids put the the Nazi's crimes agains't humanity on a scale. Suggesting that some of them weren't as bad as the others.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Haifisch posted:

Consider that a treadmill probably couldn't go 50mph without something breaking(nevermind the 'hacking' bullshit), they've definitely never been near a gym.

No no, I'm going to focus on the "hacking", considering your average treadmill not only does not have an internet connection, it has no use for one.

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice
Doth protest too much?





Eyes up here ladies

Trebek has a new favorite as of 14:12 on Jul 28, 2017

The Claptain
May 11, 2014

Grimey Drawer

What the gently caress is going on here?

Fart.Bleed.Repeat.
Sep 29, 2001

Fathis Munk posted:

Do you really get told about the Kristallnacht and atrocities of the Holocaust at 11 yo? I figured you wouldn't go into details on that subject until a bit later?

Surely it depends on the teacher and school. Got a kid in 7th grade last year and didn't really cover it in history.social studies, but in literature they did read Boy in the Striped Pajamas and something else relevant, so that prompted discussion and enough to be aware of genralities. When I was in school it was more like high school with one year being european/world history, one was US history; breaking out into more specific focus than just "history"

kazil
Jul 24, 2005

A fancy little mouse🐁!


At first I thought your post was stuff from that woke kids reddit and the title of this one had me very nervous.

Trebek
Mar 7, 2002
College Slice

The Claptain posted:

What the gently caress is going on here?

Women can't take their eyes off his hog so they become extras from a 80's comedy spontaneously.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

drat them bitches thirsty

Comptroll The Forums
Apr 25, 2007

DON'T HURT MY FEE FEES!
Ladies, please, keep your eyes on the road and don't stare at my pendulous donger

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

gettin' covid all
over your posts

The Claptain posted:

What the gently caress is going on here?

Comedy option: he didn't shower and put back on his dirty underwear, so everyone's eyes were watering too hard from his swamp-rear end to see what they were doing.

Zamboni Rodeo
Jul 19, 2007

NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!





Besesoth posted:

Comedy option: he didn't shower and put back on his dirty underwear, so everyone's eyes were watering too hard from his swamp-rear end to see what they were doing.

Comedy option #2: His dick is so small that his area is completely flat and the woman was reacting to what was apparently a Ken doll come to life.

Pneub
Mar 12, 2007

I'M THE DEVIL, AND I WILL WASH OVER THE EARTH AND THE SEAS WILL RUN RED WITH THE BLOOD OF ALL THE SINNERS

I AM REBORN

SneezeOfTheDecade
Feb 6, 2011

gettin' covid all
over your posts

I've seen people do this, although it was in college courses. :shrug:

sweeperbravo
May 18, 2012

AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Besesoth posted:

Comedy option: he didn't shower and put back on his dirty underwear, so everyone's eyes were watering too hard from his swamp-rear end to see what they were doing.

I honestly thought this was where it was going at first

McDragon
Sep 11, 2007

Choco1980 posted:

No no, I'm going to focus on the "hacking", considering your average treadmill not only does not have an internet connection, it has no use for one.

As if that would stop the Internet of poo poo.

Still STDH of course

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Haifisch
Nov 13, 2010

Objection! I object! That was... objectionable!



Taco Defender



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