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Aug 22, 2017 07:54
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:04 |
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Where are the people turning purple and fleeing the classroom, or the dropped jaws?
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Aug 22, 2017 07:57
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yeah I eat rear end posted:dropped jaws? gently caress 
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Aug 22, 2017 07:59
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It has to end in applause
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Aug 22, 2017 08:31
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Jay Rust posted:It has to end in applause Did you know that applause is just a fancy name for clapping?
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Aug 22, 2017 08:33
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Jerry Cotton posted:Did you know that applause is just a fancy name for clapping? Clapping to a rhythm and applause are 2 different things. Hth.
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Aug 22, 2017 11:35
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Never thought I'd put someone on ignore for completely missing the point of a bad stdh.txt joke I made.
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Aug 22, 2017 11:42
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Jerry Cotton posted:Never thought I'd put someone on ignore for completely missing the point of a bad stdh.txt joke I made. Yours somehow made it MORE plausible.
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Aug 22, 2017 11:48
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I had a roommate in college who claimed that he could speak "English with a Tel Aviv accent" and demonstrated by making a series of unintelligible gurgling noises that no reasonable person could claim was English, or indeed any human language*, spoken with any accent. He also used to tell stories about his family being associated with the Israeli military or Mossad or something like that, stuff that was pretty transparently just some bullshit he'd made up, but people ate it up. I never called him on it because how am I gonna prove that Tel Aviv English doesn't sound like that or that he's not secretly an IDF agent undercover as an American college student?  * not ruling out the possibility that he was actually an alien, because at least then his wild stories would almost make sense as a cover identity devised by someone who doesn't quite "get" human interaction Also he pronounced "junta" (as in the type of military dictatorship) as "oompta" and let me tell you, listening to a college stoner's misinformed pontificating about "military oomptas" never stopped being hilarious.
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Aug 22, 2017 12:50
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Oompta loompta doopitty deev That's how we talk in Tel Aviv
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Aug 22, 2017 12:56
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Associated with the Israeli military? Don't they have compulsory service for everyone?
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Aug 22, 2017 13:29
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MrUnderbridge posted:Associated with the Israeli military? Don't they have compulsory service for everyone? The kid was trying to sound badass as a defense mechanism, and I guess had mentioned Mossad too and I bet he mentioned SEAL Team 6 I don't know this person but the kinds of lies are definitely in line with people I knew back in high school
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Aug 22, 2017 13:31
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The dude was not Israeli, he was a nerdy Jewish kid from Connecticut. I concede that he could have been born in Israel, but his complete lack of any identifiable accent other than "Connecticut nerd" suggested that if that were the case, he almost certainly moved to the US as a baby. He was one of Those Guys. Everyone has a friend like him. Super nice, but constantly telling stories that are almost certainly made up but impossible to disprove or even call out without looking like an rear end in a top hat.
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Aug 22, 2017 15:53
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Bertrand Hustle posted:The dude was not Israeli, he was a nerdy Jewish kid from Connecticut. I concede that he could have been born in Israel, but his complete lack of any identifiable accent other than "Connecticut nerd" suggested that if that were the case, he almost certainly moved to the US as a baby. I had a friend like that in middle school who was a few years younger than me. Among his many claims was that he and his dad went down to the Mexican border to shoot a bunch of black market military hardware, like full auto shotguns.
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Aug 22, 2017 17:28
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chitoryu12 posted:I had a friend like that in middle school who was a few years younger than me. Among his many claims was that he and his dad went down to the Mexican border to shoot a bunch of black market military hardware, like full auto shotguns. That isn't unheard of. I've shot plenty of stuff like that in Texas. I mean mostly it's your usual stuff but every once in awhile someone has something less than legal. But black market? Nah
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Aug 22, 2017 19:51
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Bertrand Hustle posted:He was one of Those Guys. Everyone has a friend like him. Super nice, but constantly telling stories that are almost certainly made up but impossible to disprove or even call out without looking like an rear end in a top hat. I have a friend like that, that I've known since 8th grade. I rarely get to call her out because her stories could be true, as I'm never there to disprove them. I did get to once, when she claimed her boss at the veterinarian clinic she works at made her a Vet Tech. I told her she needs schooling for that and she immediately back-tracked, saying she got to help with surgery. She then agreed when I said that wasn't a Vet Tech. She LOVES telling probable lies about her job most of all. Always getting promotions as soon as she's hired, that kind of thing.
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Aug 22, 2017 20:07
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life is killing me posted:That isn't unheard of. I've shot plenty of stuff like that in Texas. I mean mostly it's your usual stuff but every once in awhile someone has something less than legal. Keep in mind the kid was like 10 when he was saying this.
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Aug 22, 2017 21:00
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Sounds like some of you may enjoy this dormant thread.
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Aug 22, 2017 21:53
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Bertrand Hustle posted:The dude was not Israeli, he was a nerdy Jewish kid from Connecticut. I concede that he could have been born in Israel, but his complete lack of any identifiable accent other than "Connecticut nerd" suggested that if that were the case, he almost certainly moved to the US as a baby.
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Aug 22, 2017 22:12
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Stuntman posted:Has anyone ever been able to get an answer from these people as to why? I tried asking my friend who does it, but he steadfastily refused to admit so I'm not sure if it's something where people's brains are broken in a way that makes them believe what they're saying. Pathological liars and/or lying to make themselves look better and cooler to others because of low self-esteem
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Aug 22, 2017 23:04
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Had a student like that a few years ago. Had a metal plate in his arm (with no scars at all), which later became a metal skeleton. Had a pilot's license at 14 (When Mom was asked about it she said "Maybe in a videogame. Claimed to have taken his dad up flying once, whispered "Ignore what I'm about to say" into the microphone and the threw the plane around, yelling "Mayday! Mayday!" into the radio. Dad almost soiled himself. Had half a jet at his house, because they paid for it and the company went out of business so they just gave it to them. He would be finishing it. "I'm rich" - Dad's a Navy dentist. Mom drives a five year old minivan. One Thanksgiving said he had to go up to New York to help Lockheed solve the problem they were having with the engines on the F22. Had several Navy Seals and generals interested in his forearm mounted flamethrower, which was smaller than a Red Bull can. Was fireproof. Best part of this one was in a lab when he got briefly touched by a flame and went "Ow!". A girl then innocently asked "I thought you were fireproof " Cue muttering. Badgered a doctor so much he was put in an arm cast, which lasted a week. Came in with a cane and a limp that shifted from one leg to the other at random. Claimed to be born in Australia, adopted at three months and put on an Aussie accent for a week. Claimed to make $1200 a gig as a DJ, but still lived at home and complained about not getting stuff from mom and dad. Claimed to have autism (he didn't, all students have evaluations) and on one Facebook post said "My autism is acting up Everyone just nodded and went "Uh-huh..", but we had one kid would call him on it and he'd get really surly. This is the one kid we wouldn't be surprised to have him be a mass shooter some day.
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Aug 22, 2017 23:50
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We had a kid that said he could set flowers on fire with his mind, and that he'd worked as an animator at Disney. In high school. I liked encouraging him just to see how far he'd go. I didn't realize how sincere I seemed until a mutual friend pulled me aside and said, "you know none of this is real, right?" Yes, I know.
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Aug 22, 2017 23:59
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life is killing me posted:Pathological liars and/or lying to make themselves look better and cooler to others because of low self-esteem I was friends with a pathological liar once. The plural of anecdote =/= data, but if she's any indication, I'd guess that pathological liars simply can't help themselves. I'm sure she knew the stuff she was saying wasn't true, but she just kept at it anyway.
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Aug 23, 2017 00:11
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MrUnderbridge posted:
 "Yeah guys, I totally shot up everybody at my old school. The police came to arrest me but then the CIA took over the investigation and ended up recruiting me to be an assassin because every kill I did was a headshot and when they counted up the bullets they found out I actually killed three people with a single bullet." "What are you talking about we've been in the same school system all our lives" "Uh uh, this was at a summer school. In Canada. Did I tell you about my girlfriend..."e: I had a pathological liar friend as a child too. The weird thing though was that most of his lies were about video games and I didn't own any video games so I really didn't give a poo poo about anything he was babbling on about. Comptroll The Forums has a new favorite as of 00:23 on Aug 23, 2017 |
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Aug 23, 2017 00:20
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:I was friends with a pathological liar once. The plural of anecdote =/= data, but if she's any indication, I'd guess that pathological liars simply can't help themselves. I'm sure she knew the stuff she was saying wasn't true, but she just kept at it anyway. I think it's this. They really, really can't stop. And it's really awkward when someone calls them out on it, because the part of your brain that tells you to feel embarassed when you get caught on a lie just isn't there for them. They just double down or change details. Bonster posted:I liked encouraging him just to see how far he'd go. I didn't realize how sincere I seemed until a mutual friend pulled me aside and said, "you know none of this is real, right?" Yes, I know. Had to have this conversation with one of my coworkers at my old job. The guy who was the nicest to me was a pathological liar, and it got to where all of us had started to hate him except for the one girl who was his best friend. When I got to talk to her about it- I think she was getting fed up because he was lying about severe medical issues that never affected his life the way they were supposed to (like if he had the things he claimed to have, he shouldn't have been driving)- we had one of those "Do you believe anything he's saying?" "No, not even parts." conversations. I think I've posted about him before either in this thread or maybe a bitching about coworkers thread. He would straight up make up poo poo to have a rapport with anyone, especially customers. Another coworker's dad was in the hospital, so so was this guy's dad. But his dad had also been knighted, and had also been banned from Australia/is to be arrested on sight in Australia because *wacky reasons*, and the guy himself grew up in Britain, but actually Europe, but actually just all over the place, because of his knight dad. Also he used to work for a high fashion company. Also he had a bad knee and needed a cane, but only for a little while. Also he had seizures. There were several a week. Or maybe there were several a day! He broke some teeth. But he didn't. His girlfriend was crazy, and when he broke up with her, her mafia family threatened him. She herself also stalked him. The worst lie was he would talk about his daughter. She was alive; or not, sometimes she was dead. She died at the age of six months. She died when she was four. She used to call out the word "nipple" at inappropriate times. She spoke French. She died of the same disease that took her mother; she died of the disease her mother had, but the mother was still alive. I was one of the last people to turn from him because, like I said, he was really kind to me especially at the beginning when no one else really was. But the dead daughter thing was especially lovely to be lying about. I finally started to cotton on because in the few months he and i both worked there, the anniversary of her birthday and the day she died each happened at least twice. But yeah, anytime somebody was like "Hey wait, that contradicts with another thign you told us about," he would just double down on it in a loopy-rear end way that must make perfect, reasonable sense to a pathological liar. The dude was in his mid-late 20s, so it wasn't like a high school kid making things up for poon (which, fwiw, he did not receive from any coworker)
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Aug 23, 2017 01:17
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Hah! We don't have the Knight and Dames system in Australia. Aside from that insane moment of revival a couple of years ago where our unhinged PM knighted Prince Phillip.
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Aug 23, 2017 03:00
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Ok full disclosure I once (when I was a teenager or something) pretended to be a girl to get into a CS:S clan made up of horny firefighters bored at work and they only let me in because they thought I was a cute girl, so I kept having to make up lies when they asked why I wouldn't get on TS or send them photos. Once they asked for panties in the mail. Nevertheless it took me like a week to get full admin privileges on their server, until I got bored of lying and told them the truth. Except they didn't believe me so I went on TS finally and I was banned from there and the game server. And no I am not proud of this Anyway, that's my story, cya
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Aug 23, 2017 03:34
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Aug 23, 2017 03:49
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Comptroll The Forums posted:e: I had a pathological liar friend as a child too. The weird thing though was that most of his lies were about video games and I didn't own any video games so I really didn't give a poo poo about anything he was babbling on about. "My uncle gave me a level 99 Diablo in Diablo." "oh, ok."
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Aug 23, 2017 04:20
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Like, maybe he does have Yoshi as one of his Pokemon, who am I to argue with that? 
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Aug 23, 2017 04:50
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kimbo305 posted:"My uncle gave me a level 99 Diablo in Diablo." I had a friend that tried to convince me that hitman blood money was so advanced that he killed a dude by spinning while reloading and the empty magazine was whirled into the dudes head and it was all accurately simulated and the greatest thing. We were really young so at the time I thought it was really cool that a game would do that. Years later I remembered it and just wondered what kinda weird lie that was.
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Aug 23, 2017 09:12
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Aug 23, 2017 16:01
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Fathis Munk posted:I had a friend that tried to convince me that hitman blood money was so advanced that he killed a dude by spinning while reloading and the empty magazine was whirled into the dudes head and it was all accurately simulated and the greatest thing. If someone said it was in a Metal Gear Solid game I'd believe it.
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Aug 23, 2017 16:02
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quote:
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Aug 23, 2017 16:04
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Jerry Cotton posted:If someone said it was in a Metal Gear Solid game I'd believe it. My friend told me about the events leading up to the end of MGS2, and I thought he was full of poo poo. Later that day, we went back to his place and played through it, and my jaw hit the floor. What the christ Kojima.
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Aug 23, 2017 17:16
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[/quote] Have you ever worked in a kitchen? Because that's a very believable story. That STDH, or STWontH is his boss letting him sack the piece of poo poo employee.
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Aug 23, 2017 17:18
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The General posted:My friend told me about the events leading up to the end of MGS2, and I thought he was full of poo poo. Later that day, we went back to his place and played through it, and my jaw hit the floor. What the christ Kojima. Oh yeah both the game-play and the story are always ludicrous.
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Aug 23, 2017 17:46
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[/quote] This happens and has happened, in every kitchen I've worked in.
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Aug 23, 2017 18:08
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MrUnderbridge posted:Came in with a cane and a limp that shifted from one leg to the other at random. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCleL-y7iSQ
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Aug 24, 2017 02:24
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:04 |
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I"m looking for a parody of those right-wing "student outwits atheist/liberal professor" e-mail forwards, and I think this thread is the right place to ask. The story goes something like this: the professor announces that students must swear a loyalty oath to Karl Marx, who is the most evolved being that ever lived. Our hero holds up a rock and asks, if evolution is real, why hasn't this rock turned into a monkey? The professor is so overwhelmed by this argument that he immediately keels over dead, the other students all convert to Christianity, and a bald eagle flies into the room and sheds a single tear.
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Aug 24, 2017 02:33
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