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It's pretty clear the people who write those disney fantasies have never actually been there. The "princesses" would never act like that and peter pan isn't going to go around grabbing kids with cutting marks and deliver some heartfelt speech, they just stand around taking pictures with kids while repeating a few lines from the movies they are from.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:28
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The story is actually amazing if you accept it as true. A morbidly obese toddler approaches a ride. The ride operator, concerned for her safety, tells her that she is too heavy to ride. The five year old begins screaming. No words, just standing there screaming. This attracts a woman who tells the ride operator that if she had her way, she would have him executed for denying this poor lardchild a ride. Fearing for his life, the ride operator allows fatty hamcakes on the ride. As the ride is turning, the operator watches in horror as the struts deform, dipping lower and lower on each turn. Meanwhile, Tammy two-ton is exuding thick heavy grease from her rear end all over the goddamn ride. Finally, the ride comes to a stop and the operator (who I guess is French now?) runs over to inspect the damage. Children waiting their turn for the ride observe the bodily secretions which Polly porkfat drenched across the seat and become disgusted and horrified. Suddenly, a hoard of Disney princesses, caring not for things like "safety" and "bodily fluids" come roaring in screeching that the horrorchild should be treated like everybody else. The operator tentatively reaches out with a screwdriver to try to fix the ride, only to have the whole drat thing fall apart. Score one for fat pride, right ladies? 
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Sep 26, 2017 14:29
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Seriously, that has to be a typo and she meant she was 15 instead of 5. At 15 this is just sad bullshit. At 5, you really wonder how loving fat this kid was for it to even cross her mind to write this poo poo.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:32
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yeah I eat rear end posted:It's pretty clear the people who write those disney fantasies have never actually been there. The "princesses" would never act like that and peter pan isn't going to go around grabbing kids with cutting marks and deliver some heartfelt speech, they just stand around taking pictures with kids while repeating a few lines from the movies they are from. Goofy copped a feel of my travel companion's boob in Hong Kong's Disneyland.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:34
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I think, pound for pound, this is the least true story in this thread
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Sep 26, 2017 14:39
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I just realized I've been on a Disneyland ride so I don't think they even have weight limits.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:40
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Weird fanfic about Disney parks by socially awkward/isolated women who have clearly never been to one is practically its own genre. It's really sad because it's always a fantasy about somebody being nice to them or sticking up for them. I can't even make fun of those stories. I know what it's like to be the awkward weirdo with no friends. 
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Sep 26, 2017 14:43
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I think it's more often that they have size limits which are effectively weight limits. If the restraint things won't close you can't ride the thing. It's hard to get to that point though especially since a lot of rides now have fat people seats. When I worked at Busch Gardens on the sky ride there was actually a weight limit which I think was 700 pounds or so. Having to come up with reasons to tell fat families to split up without telling them that they are too fat to ride together was always a challenge.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:44
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You didn't see how goddamn fat this 5 year old was. Bitch came waddling up, double fisting turkey legs, sweat everywhere, breathing like a ocean sounds white noise machine, bitch weighed 800 pounds I kid you not.
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Sep 26, 2017 14:46
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was i picked on at disney land? hmm let me think * Weighed 750 pounds * Parents were both eaten (long story) * Wore a bath robe soaked with sweat and fryer grease * Had the word "fat is beautiful" instead of a mouth
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Sep 26, 2017 14:50
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Drowning would be a mercy killing after Ariel "scalded" the operator right in front of everyone. Jesus Christ.
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Sep 26, 2017 15:19
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Bertrand Hustle posted:Weird fanfic about Disney parks by socially awkward/isolated women who have clearly never been to one is practically its own genre. It's really sad because it's always a fantasy about somebody being nice to them or sticking up for them. Pretty much this.
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Sep 26, 2017 15:28
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Haha I broke a ride that probably costs a few hundred thousand dollars! I'm totally the good guy of the story!
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Sep 26, 2017 15:29
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yeah I eat rear end posted:I think it's more often that they have size limits which are effectively weight limits. If the restraint things won't close you can't ride the thing. It's hard to get to that point though especially since a lot of rides now have fat people seats. A really small minority of rides have weight limits, and an even tinier number have limits that aren't obscenely high. You usually see it at stuff like helicopter rides or ziplines; I did a zipline at Dollywood that had a weight limit of 240 pounds. But most rides are designed to take huge amounts of stress in their daily operating cycles. The Dumbo elephants alone weigh 700 pounds, so those hydraulic arms are thick as gently caress. Unless you're made of uranium instead of flesh, you're going to exceed size limits on fitting in the seat before you exceed weight limits.
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Sep 26, 2017 16:08
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The Dumbo rides are built for parents to ride along with their kids, even more proof of stdh.
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Sep 26, 2017 16:14
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chitoryu12 posted:a zipline at Dollywood PYF Sex Act Euphemism
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Sep 26, 2017 16:18
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Not Disney but at Six Flags in Atlanta I remember being really young and going to get on the bumper cars and there was an adult that was apparently too big to get on. They wouldn't even let him get in one of the double ones meant for two people. It held up the line and was clearly super embarrassing for the guy. Even in my dumb 10 year old or whatever mind I remember feeling really bad for the guy. I don't even remember him being fat, he was just a really tall/large dude. All that to say this 5 year old must have been massive. Also where were her parent/s during this story?
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Sep 26, 2017 16:19
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Probably eating lol
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Sep 26, 2017 16:22
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Hitler Einstein etc Or maybe Ariel was like her big sister that felt bad for her I dunno
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Sep 26, 2017 16:22
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Joey Freshwater posted:All that to say this 5 year old must have been massive. Also where were her parent/s during this story? You know, parent stuff.
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Sep 26, 2017 16:46
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Please don't doxx me, the colossal slug monster
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Sep 26, 2017 18:05
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It ain't over 'til the fat lady tumblrs.
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Sep 26, 2017 18:15
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gschmidl posted:It ain't over 'til the fat lady tumblrs. So it's over a lot.
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Sep 26, 2017 18:25
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Sep 27, 2017 03:35
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the ones where you can tell whoever wrote it never even read it aloud to themselves are my favorite
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Sep 27, 2017 04:25
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Ah yes, stupid hippie stereotypes, famously well-versed in gun model names.
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Sep 27, 2017 04:26
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tyblazitar posted:Ah yes, stupid hippie stereotypes, famously well-versed in gun model names. They also love ISIS.
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Sep 27, 2017 04:45
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Joey Freshwater posted:Not Disney but at Six Flags in Atlanta I remember being really young and going to get on the bumper cars and there was an adult that was apparently too big to get on. They wouldn't even let him get in one of the double ones meant for two people. It held up the line and was clearly super embarrassing for the guy. Even in my dumb 10 year old or whatever mind I remember feeling really bad for the guy. I don't even remember him being fat, he was just a really tall/large dude That happened to me a Port Aventura a couple months back. Stood in line for an hour and had to take the walk of shame because the restraints didn't close on that one. That park loving sucks if your tall, a lot of the rides are 1m95 max so I'm at the very limit and boy is it a tight loving fit.
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Sep 27, 2017 10:01
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Thank you for listening to my traumatic experience caused by small-privilege.
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Sep 27, 2017 10:02
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when i was 4 or 5 my family went to a six flags in Texas, and we waited in line to some water flume ride for like an hour but i was too short to ride it, so my dad and I let the rest of the family ride while he bought me a coke which i remember being pretty stoked for. that's my theme part story thanks for listening. Roobanguy has a new favorite as of 10:17 on Sep 27, 2017 |
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Sep 27, 2017 10:13
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Even if this happened, "I HAVE A LOADED RIFLE  " probably isn't the best response you can give when you're pretending you're not the lunatic in any given situation
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Sep 27, 2017 14:17
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Danaru posted:Even if this happened, "I HAVE A LOADED RIFLE It's not even the best way to mess with the evil hippie, if that's his goal.
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Sep 27, 2017 14:55
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I was a ride operator at Disneyland. If a seat wasn't working or had gross fluids, we put a cover over it and called Maintenance or a Custodian respectively to fix those. It's truly amazing how each sentence is stdh
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Sep 27, 2017 17:24
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Danaru posted:Even if this happened, "I HAVE A LOADED RIFLE
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Sep 27, 2017 19:04
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Megera posted:I was a ride operator at Disneyland. If a seat wasn't working or had gross fluids, we put a cover over it and called Maintenance or a Custodian respectively to fix those. I worked at epcot and no character or random cast member would ever approach or touch or engage a guest unless your manager was literally perched on your shoulders giving you direct orders to do so. These disney stdh's make me irrationally mad.
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Sep 28, 2017 04:36
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Wasn't there a case where a guy in a Pooh outfit was accused of touching someone and had to wear the suit in court to prove his arms could not move enough to have done so?
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Sep 28, 2017 08:09
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If the Pooh doesn't molest, you can't arrest
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Sep 28, 2017 14:38
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Comptroll The Forums posted:If the Pooh doesn't molest, you can't arrest
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Sep 28, 2017 15:53
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Comptroll The Forums posted:If the Pooh doesn't molest, you can't arrest
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Sep 28, 2017 15:57
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Apparently a lot of cases of mascot characters touching people inappropriately can be chalked up to the face that they wear big bulky gloves (which means they can't feel where they're touching the person) and headpieces (which means they can't see where they're touching). Or at least that's the ready-made excuse mascot actors have when they're accused of the bad touch. E: Snopes quotes a news story about the Pooh actor case. The allegation wasn't that he molested a child, but that he slapped one hard enough to leave a bruise and cause recurring headaches and possible brain damage. quote:[Disney attorney W. Mike] McCray’s first witness was Robert Hill, the actor who portrayed Pooh bear at the park that day. Hill testified that while in costume, his vision and movements are severely restricted. The girl, then nine years old, was tugging at him from behind and, in turning to see who it was, he accidentally struck her with an ear. “We’re trained not to retaliate,” he said. Pththya-lyi has a new favorite as of 16:16 on Sep 28, 2017 |
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Sep 28, 2017 16:03
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