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Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

FBS posted:

when the Me 163 just isn't insane enough

e: I must have been 10 or so when I read about how the fuel leaks would dissolve pilots in their seats

I read that too and I'm kinda curious what would do that, the hydrazine or the high-purity peroxide

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e.pilot
Nov 20, 2011

sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit
One of my ground instructors regaled us with a tale of how some of his coworkers at Mesa got fired.

It was a full flight on an EMB120, and someone was trying to jump seat home. However the jump seat was already taken by someone more senior, so they weren’t getting on the flight. But the guy that got bumped was good friends with the captain of that flight and they hatched a hairbrained idea to placard the lav inop and sneaking him on the flight. They even got the FO and FA to agree to it. Somehow he ended up being counted on the manifest and the gate agents at the departing airport couldn’t figure out how there was one more person on the flight than possible. So they called the company to figure out what was going on and apparently they were greeted by the FAA and chief pilot when they arrived.


Also a friend of mine that used to fly 135 cargo would tell me stories of dudes going through mins on an ILS on the reg to get to the hotel before they stopped serving breakfast.

MrYenko
Jun 18, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...

e.pilot posted:

One of my ground instructors regaled us with a tale of how some of his coworkers at Mesa got fired.

It was a full flight on an EMB120, and someone was trying to jump seat home. However the jump seat was already taken by someone more senior, so they weren’t getting on the flight. But the guy that got bumped was good friends with the captain of that flight and they hatched a hairbrained idea to placard the lav inop and sneaking him on the flight. They even got the FO and FA to agree to it. Somehow he ended up being counted on the manifest and the gate agents at the departing airport couldn’t figure out how there was one more person on the flight than possible. So they called the company to figure out what was going on and apparently they were greeted by the FAA and chief pilot when they arrived.

An entire flight stuck in the lav.

:stonklol:

hobbesmaster
Jan 28, 2008

MrYenko posted:

An entire flight stuck in the lav.

:stonklol:

How long could an EMB-120 route be?

Duke Chin
Jan 11, 2002

Roger That:
MILK CRATES INBOUND

:siren::siren::siren::siren:
- FUCK THE HABS -

MrYenko posted:

An entire flight stuck in the lav.

:stonklol:

The title of that short story for the collected works is:

"When Ya Gotta Go, Ya Gotta Go."

ausgezeichnet
Sep 18, 2005

In my country this is definitely not offensive!
Nap Ghost

Kerosene19 posted:

I'd like to think that it was because the LaQuinta inn stopped serving continental breakfasts at 1100.

Civilians would be horrified at how much incentives like this factor into supplemental ops. Gotta stretch that $1.25/hour per diem as far as possible.

I used to hear a lot of stories of lav and standup jumpseats at the old USAir and Eastern. I was jumpseating CLT-PHL one time on a USAir 727 which was filling up with non revs and company jumpseaters. The Captain told me to wedge myself between the FE's panel and the aft cockpit bulkhead, but one of the company jumpseaters found a FA jumpseat open in the back, so I got a jumpseat after the cabin door closed.

One time I was traveling with my wife from MDW down to Florida and the ATA flight we had passes on was filling up just before departure (this was before I flew there). The Captain in this case told my wife (non pilot) just to hide in the cockpit until they closed the cockpit door, then she could take the forward jumpseat (727). I was horrified at the risk the nice Captain was taking to get us to my Mother In Law's house (I was the ALPA Jumpseat Chair at the airline I was flying for at the time), but once again a nice company deadheader took a FA jumseat at departure time and my wife got a seat in back. She was pissed as hell that she just missed getting a jumpseat ride in a 727. I remember nearly making GBS threads myself as we took off from 31C at MDW in a max gross 727 and cleared the barbed wire on the perimeter fence by about 20ft.

vessbot
Jun 17, 2005
I don't like you because you're dangerous
Ah, back in the old days... when men were men, sex was safe, and flying was dangerous!

Butt Reactor
Oct 6, 2005

Even in zero gravity, you're an asshole.

hobbesmaster posted:

How long could an EMB-120 route be?

I don't know passenger ops wise, but I used to routinely fly with a guy that for a period handled Brasilia deliveries for a certain mega-regional. He and another guy would fly down to Sao Jose dos Campos, pick up an airplane, then proceed with a routing of something like direct Belem, refuel and do customs paperwork, north overwater to St. Martin, refuel and gamble or spend a day at the beach, land somewhere in southern Florida for customs, then try to fly a final leg to Palm Springs, Fresno or Salt Lake City with a fuel stop somewhere in New Mexico or Texas. He did tell me there were a couple times with favorable winds they could get all the way from Florida without stopping for fuel. :aaa:

And yes, there were some interesting stories that happened in this process. ;)

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Butt Reactor posted:

He did tell me there were a couple times with favorable winds they could get all the way from Florida without stopping for fuel. :aaa:

"Can you hold at the outer marker for incoming traffic?"

"I don't know, do you know how well one of these glides when it runs out of fuel?"

ausgezeichnet
Sep 18, 2005

In my country this is definitely not offensive!
Nap Ghost

BIG HEADLINE posted:

"Can you hold at the outer marker for incoming traffic?"

"I don't know, do you know how well one of these glides when it runs out of fuel?"

Yeah, if I can hold at 6000ft... or FL180 I can hold a lot longer.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Sweet. Is that a civilianized B-25?

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

joat mon posted:

Sweet. Is that a civilianized B-25?

Airliner conversion A-26, I think.

:nws: https://i.imgur.com/UV1ou5x.jpg :nws: for nose-art titties.

I recognized the tip tank, and there aren't that many of them on GIS. :v:

Chillbro Baggins fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Oct 30, 2017

bewbies
Sep 23, 2003

Fun Shoe

joat mon posted:

Sweet. Is that a civilianized B-25?

I think it is actually one of the very small number of curiously named "On Mark Marksmen" which was a hot rod civilian conversion of an A-26.

edit - I stand corrected, it is an "On Mark Marketeer". duh

bewbies fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Oct 30, 2017

Tsuru
May 12, 2008
I was wondering about this one... pure visible light at some insane ISO setting or is there some near-IR trickery going on? Never seen this before or since.

Nebakenezzer
Sep 13, 2005

The Mote in God's Eye

Nebakenezzer posted:

So after many years, I find myself visiting my parents, who live in Gander, NL. My dad has worked most of his career around the airport there, or in Gander Control center, the ATC hub that handles lots of traffic over the Atlantic. My dad took me out to supper on my birthday, and he told me an interesting story of Soviet aviation...

Gander used to be the western refueling point for communist bloc airliners flying to Cuba - as a kid I'd see all sorts of 'not-seen-in-the-west-generally' airliners. Being a kid of course I had no idea how unusual this was, but in retrospect, it was really cool: Cubana, Interflug, and most especially Aeroflot flew out of Gander all the time. I especially remember the Il-86s as those honkeys were loud. Earth-shakingly loud. The Soviets also takered in their own fuel, rather than buying it from the west.

Anyway, it's Febuary in the early 80s, and my dad is working as the manager of the control tower at the airport. One night, an Aeroflot Il-86 carrying VIPs to Cuba landed and managed to strike both inboard engines on the ground while doing so, even though the weather was (for once) fine. The VIPs are sent to the decadent capitalist luxury of the local hotel, while another Il-86 is flown in from the USSR, with the Aeroflot chief check pilot at the controls. That night, weather this Il-86 lands in is much more typical of darkest Newfoundland winter: absolutely appalling. Visibility is essentially nil - from the tower certain parts of the airport were cloaked in snowy darkness. So, this Il-86 is on final and is coming in for landing. He vanishes from the radar, and then...nothing. No response on the radio, no sound of thrust reversers, just silence. It's getting up to the time that the tower is legally required to start getting SAR crews out of bed, when the plane taxis up to her proper berth. The ground crew immediately report that the Il-86 has clipped some runway lights or something. So my dad is sent to meet with the pilot, who's English is not great but immediately starts complaining about the ILS being way off. A quick inspection of the runway told the story of the pilot's mistake.

Through the snow, the pilot had seen a string of lights, and assumed it was the runway's center-line. Gander has no center-line lights, so the lights the pilot had seen were of course the lights on the edge of the runway. He lands atop these, putting his Il-86 half into the several feet of snow on the side of the runway! So, yeah, no wonder he didn't need thrust reversers to slow down. So, they had to send a third Il-86...

e.pilot
Nov 20, 2011

sometimes maybe good
sometimes maybe shit
Judging by the blown out position light I’m going to go with long exposure.

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

e.pilot posted:

Judging by the blown out position light I’m going to go with long exposure.

Yeah, IR on a DSLR sensor comes out bright purple, in my experience. I've taken photos of TV-remote-control LEDs and electric stove burners just to see what happens. It's weird as poo poo, the stove burner was just starting to glow orange in visible light, the camera saw it as lavender.

Edit: Maybe it's just that you've never been behind a jet in the dark. Several places in this video, you can see the orange glow in the engines as they pass full dry thrust:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PUvRWHWF1uQ

Blink and you'll miss it, though, they're going straight from idle to full afterburner to idle, but it's there. Especially the first and third landings, dudes don't even click it into reheat, just apparently go to mil power, and it looks just like the airliner photo.

Edit again: Pretty sure most of that is just the actual red-hot turbine disk, and you get a little lick of flame from the long exposure.

Chillbro Baggins fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Oct 30, 2017

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

I like the little shower of sparks as the hook scrapes the deck. I never really considered that that would be a normal thing that happens, but it makes sense.

Dr. Despair
Nov 4, 2009


39 perfect posts with each roll.

I like the sharktooth nose art on that last hornet. Thought they stopped doing that a while ago.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?
Most naval squadrons have one jet painted up to look good (or at least better).

joat mon
Oct 15, 2009

I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.
Big sharktooth


and a good nose art link

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

Mr. Despair posted:

I like the sharktooth nose art on that last hornet. Thought they stopped doing that a while ago.
There was a purge of scantily-clad-lady and other "fun" noseart in the '90s, but teeth are still allowed. See A-10s, especially.

Godholio posted:

Most naval squadrons have one jet painted up to look good (or at least better).
Usually X00, nominally the squadron CO's bird, is painted up extra-fancy for PR appearances.

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014


joat mon posted:

Sweet. Is that a civilianized B-25?

A lot of A-26s and B-25s were converted into executive aircraft after the war, which is why a fair number of them are still flying today.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Nice winds :stare:

Fender Anarchist
May 20, 2009

Fender Anarchist

Is there a crosswind speed where they just automatically go "Nope, airport's closed, everyone divert"?

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!

Enourmo posted:

Is there a crosswind speed where they just automatically go "Nope, airport's closed, everyone divert"?
Unless microbursts are pancaking airplanes into the dirt, the show will go on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yGUTsJm1Hw

A Heavy doing a bolter is a religious experience. You'd be surprised how fast those things can accelerate and nope the gently caress out.

What's up with the Arkia jet at 4:40? Forgot to shut off the chemtrail dispensers? Surely they're not dumping fuel on short final.

Naval Aviators ain't poo poo. Sure, they have to hit a postage stamp in the dark, but the ship is always steaming at 30+ knots into the wind so with a stiff breeze the jets just kinda hover down onto the wires.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ch5z3DMC3RA

Chillbro Baggins fucked around with this message at 10:58 on Oct 31, 2017

Nice piece of fish
Jan 29, 2008

Ultra Carp

Why the gently caress did I just spend 15 minutes watching airplanes land weird? I have to say, commercial airplanes really do look really good when landing. It doesn't feel very fun to be inside one when it does, though.

Air travel should be more expensive and pilots paid more, because I'm sure those kinds of landings take a lot of practice. Capitalism ruins everything.

KYOON GRIFFEY JR
Apr 12, 2010



Runner-up, TRP Sack Race 2021/22
yes i sure hate to be able to travel the world at a relatively low cost in safety and reasonable comfort

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


I think a lot of us in this thread have probably had the daydream of "nobody left to land the plane but me!" And wondered how we'd do.

But let's be honest (actually we have some ATC guys here so maybe they can tell us) it'd probably be 20 minutes to find the radio button, and when in contact with ground just getting instructions for speed/heading/altitude on the Flight Director Panel towards a suitable airport, then instructions for the FMC for the plane to land itself

Forums Terrorist
Dec 8, 2011

KYOON GRIFFEY JR posted:

yes i sure hate to be able to travel the world at a relatively low cost in safety and reasonable comfort

what comfort

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

Climate control, not getting rained on unless you're in a CRJ, enough light to read a book, don't have to row, that kind of thing.

Ola
Jul 19, 2004

Delivery McGee posted:

What's up with the Arkia jet at 4:40? Forgot to shut off the chemtrail dispensers? Surely they're not dumping fuel on short final.


It's just vortices from the outboard edge of the flap, normal with high relative humidity. MOVE ALONG.

simplefish
Mar 28, 2011

So long, and thanks for all the fish gallbladdΣrs!


Full tank of petrol costs about £70-100 depending on if I fill up at the local supermarket or on a motorway along the journey.

A transcontinental 15 hour flight costs £450-600 depending on time of year

I sit down, get free movies and food twice. That quality food at a roadside greasy spoon would be about £5. But on the plane beer (or vodka oranges or gin and tonics) and pretzels are unlimited. The films are usually on the IFE before they're on DVD, with cinema showings at about £10 a ticket. The seat's about the same size as a cinema seat but it also reclines, and I can swap films at will if I don't like what I'm watching, despite a smaller screen.

So call it £10 for the food, £30 for the films, £20 for drinks at the low end.

That's (at best case) £390 and I end up somewhere hot and sunny and cheaper to have a good time than the UK.vs £270 and ending up in Scunthorpe, and having to endure it arriving sober.


This does not count the unlimited beer (and pop and coffee and low-quality-but-hot food) I get if I pay £15 into a lounge.

Air travel is an absolute steal at the moment and you're a fool if you aren't taking advantage of it as far as possible.

FrozenVent
May 1, 2009

The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

simplefish posted:

Full tank of petrol costs about £70-100 depending on if I fill up at the local supermarket or on a motorway along the journey.

A transcontinental 15 hour flight costs £450-600 depending on time of year

I sit down, get free movies and food twice. That quality food at a roadside greasy spoon would be about £5. But on the plane beer (or vodka oranges or gin and tonics) and pretzels are unlimited. The films are usually on the IFE before they're on DVD, with cinema showings at about £10 a ticket. The seat's about the same size as a cinema seat but it also reclines, and I can swap films at will if I don't like what I'm watching, despite a smaller screen.

So call it £10 for the food, £30 for the films, £20 for drinks at the low end.

That's (at best case) £390 and I end up somewhere hot and sunny and cheaper to have a good time than the UK.vs £270 and ending up in Scunthorpe, and having to endure it arriving sober.


This does not count the unlimited beer (and pop and coffee and low-quality-but-hot food) I get if I pay £15 into a lounge.

Air travel is an absolute steal at the moment and you're a fool if you aren't taking advantage of it as far as possible.

Stockholmsyndrome.txt

Marathanes
Jun 13, 2009
Airline pilots absolutely should be paid more, and capitalism does ruin everything, but raising ticket prices isn't the answer.

Supposedly the median wage for commercial pilots is ~$77k. The CEO of United made $18.7 million in total compensation last year. United has ~12700 pilots. Half the CEO's salary and you could give every pilot $700+ extra dollars a year. Do that with all the upper executives making more than a million bucks and you could probably get closer to giving an extra $2000 a year to every pilot. That's not huge for people already making $77k, but it's no drop in the bucket either.

Eat the rich, is what I'm saying.

Cocoa Crispies
Jul 20, 2001

Vehicular Manslaughter!

Pillbug

Delivery McGee posted:

A Heavy doing a bolter is a religious experience. You'd be surprised how fast those things can accelerate and nope the gently caress out.

Just physics: the plane's a lot lighter than it started due to fuel burn, but it's already moving, and it's still got the engines it needed to get all that fuel up and moving in the first place.

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"
Southwest's 737-700s are so goddamned adorable. A318s and 319s just look like short buses with wings. I think the pointy nose makes all the difference.

Or maybe the 737 is iconic while the A31x line is just "functional."

BIG HEADLINE fucked around with this message at 15:10 on Oct 31, 2017

Mortabis
Jul 8, 2010

I am stupid
Actually the pay of commercial pilots and airline CEOs should be the market clearing price, which is what it presently is.

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Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

simplefish posted:

Full tank of petrol costs about £70-100 depending on if I fill up at the local supermarket or on a motorway along the journey.

A transcontinental 15 hour flight costs £450-600 depending on time of year

I sit down, get free movies and food twice. That quality food at a roadside greasy spoon would be about £5. But on the plane beer (or vodka oranges or gin and tonics) and pretzels are unlimited. The films are usually on the IFE before they're on DVD, with cinema showings at about £10 a ticket. The seat's about the same size as a cinema seat but it also reclines, and I can swap films at will if I don't like what I'm watching, despite a smaller screen.

So call it £10 for the food, £30 for the films, £20 for drinks at the low end.

That's (at best case) £390 and I end up somewhere hot and sunny and cheaper to have a good time than the UK.vs £270 and ending up in Scunthorpe, and having to endure it arriving sober.


This does not count the unlimited beer (and pop and coffee and low-quality-but-hot food) I get if I pay £15 into a lounge.

Air travel is an absolute steal at the moment and you're a fool if you aren't taking advantage of it as far as possible.

Yeah, none of this applies in the US.

Including food, fuel, and hotels, it's cheaper to drive halfway across this country. If you need to rent a vehicle at your destination for more than a couple of days, it's almost always cheaper to drive.

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