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MinistryofLard
Mar 22, 2013


Goblin babies did nothing wrong.


She must BE a witch! She turned me into a newt!

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the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

BE

Runa
Feb 13, 2011

CE, Scourgess of the Seven Bazaars

Mr. Nemo
Feb 4, 2016

I wish I had a sister like my big strong Daddy :(
C

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
I will close voting and subsequently update tomorrow in the evening.

Question Time
Sep 12, 2010



BE a witch

Tagichatn
Jun 7, 2009

CE
Why be a witch when you can be a witcher?

Kristopher
Jun 28, 2006
AD

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

TheCog posted:

I will close voting and subsequently update tomorrow in the evening.

Alright! The first voting results! Now we can all know who is, definitively, from the start, a wrongvoter.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


it's everyone :ssh:

JosephWongKS
Apr 4, 2009

by Nyc_Tattoo

B.B. Rodriguez posted:

Alright! The first voting results! Now we can all know who is, definitively, from the start, a wrongvoter.

Diogines
Dec 22, 2007

Beaky the Tortoise says, click here to join our choose Your Own Adventure Game!

Paradise Lost: Clash of the Heavens!

It is me. I'm the wrongvoter.

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost
AE

loving badass alchemy n' potions n' clockwork owls n' poo poo!

Infinity Gaia
Feb 27, 2011

a storm is coming...

BD

I want witchboy, dammit!

NastyToes
Oct 9, 2012

CE

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009
CD

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008

CE sounds fun and different.

BoyG
Nov 24, 2004

Have you heard the tale of the Cannibal King of Kavodel?
C

Slightly Lions
Apr 13, 2009

Look what I can do!
CE Time to enslave some djinn

There Bias Two
Jan 13, 2009
I'm not a good person

CE

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

KAVODEL! KAVODEL!

CE

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc
AE!
Mage time!!!

Dude, really?

A metalsmith monsterhunting mage!? Easy peasy choice.


vvvv Oh goddamnit.

Lemme play a goddamn caster, SA.

Cannon_Fodder fucked around with this message at 22:40 on Dec 4, 2017

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Voting is closed. Tallying votes, but I think the C's have it

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

TheCog posted:

Voting is closed. Tallying votes, but I think the C's have it

All you C voters have doomed us.

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
i feel so betrayed

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

This CYOA is already one of my favorite things.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008


:swoon:

Gone Fission
Apr 7, 2007

We're here to make coffee metal. We're here to make everything metal.
gently caress yes! In the end, you will all be glad that we chose the Arabic path.

Don't worry about the clockwork contraptions, that takes math, AKA al-gebra.

Al-gorithms.

Al-chemy.

And gently caress steam, we have oil.

Gone Fission fucked around with this message at 07:26 on Dec 5, 2017

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
You are Clarissa, and you were 9 when your village burned down. Your father was a cobbler, and you were the youngest of three. You still remember them clearly, and in your dreams you can still see their faces. You don't remember much of the night of that terrible fire, and the Sejin who has de-facto adopted you refuses to speak on it.

Your body, like your mind, carries the scars of that night, your arms, above the elbow, and all over your back, bear terrible marks.



You have been traveling with Sejin Amir for three years now, and have visited many strange places. The Sejin often travels as part of a caravan, or with his own wagon, and when that is not the case, and your feet tire from long walks, he carries you. He is a quiet man, often not speaking for hours, but he has not abandoned you in any of the towns along the way, which by itself is a kindness, and your stomach never hurts with hunger, as it had once or twice when you lived in the village. Perhaps you are not aware, but your life is a strange one. Often, on the road, the Sejin will talk you though what he is doing, or tell you stories, of an ancient land known as Ube, and the great city of Ubar, with its thousand doors, and of the adventurers that lived within.

Which were your favorite stories?


A.) The stories of princess and kings, and mighty empires, of how they ruled from glistening towers of glass, and were powerful and wise, and respected by all. Of their quick wit and vast intellect that let them met out justice, and outwit those who would harm their people. The most prominent of these in the stories, is of course Adonijah, who raised the glass towers of Ubar, and swayed the Dijin to his side.

B.) Stories of heroes and adventurers! I loved hearing of the tales of Ekram and Fadi, the mighty warriors of the dune, and their exploits and adventures. Like the time they saved Almodobar from being destroyed by the Amphisbaena, a monstrous two headed dragon that swallowed entired villages! I wanted to be *just like* these incredible adventurers

C.) I liked hearing about the Magi. These were a mysterious group, that knew of a terrible future that was coming. They were all women, and they all worked in secret, unlike the kings and adventurers they were never the main characters of the stories, but they were always there, giving advice to heroes, warning kings of danger, and in a few stories, fighting off terrifying beasts and armies with webs of golden sunlight and storms of sand!

D.) I liked hearing about the common people. Farmers, and craftsmen and potters, and their regular lives. Strangely the Sejin had no scarcity of stories of the regular lives of people. They were not always happy, they were not always sad, but because I enjoyed them the Sejin didn't mind telling them to me.

E.) I preferred it when the Sejin sang. It wasn't often, almost only when i woke up screaming from a nightmare, and it was never in the common tongue, but more than anything i enjoyed the soothing melodies and strange syllables that almost seemed to rock me to sleep.

F.) Stories are stupid! I liked it much better when I could run off and do things!



In your travels you have seen many exotic things, and met many odd people. For your first year, it seemed like you just traveled from town to town, and the Sejin would exchange small boxes for coin, sometimes he'd load his wagon with things and drop them off at the next village. You learned that wherever you went, the Sejin had friends, who would at least offer a warm bed for the night. When you were in these places, the Sejin made you keep close, a rule he didn't enforce nearly as much on the road itself. Then, one night, you overheard the Sejin speaking with a man. Between hushed whispers and the rustling of cloth, you made out "You are in great danger".

After that, you did not stop at any more villages. You traveled north, into the bitter cold, and for the first time in your life you saw snow.



You skirted then, across the icy river, The Ossuary, a place full of giant bones. The Sejin told you stories then, of the Giants that had once dwelled there, and their war with the Great Dragons, in a time long before even the Sejin had been born. He spoke too, of the great dangers that lived in the Ossuary, of how the Giants, knowing their death was approaching, had hidden all their valuables, deep deep beneath the earth, and crafted servants of iron to watch over them.

Crossing the Ossuary, almost a year after the night you hurriedly set off, you arrived in the flat, snowy land of Tormond Vale. There, once again, you begun to travel among villages and towns. But here the Sejin did not trade little boxes, or carry sacks from town to town, instead, he would leave you in town, with one of his "friends", and return a day or a week later, carrying a sack, which he would turn in in exchange for gold. When you asked him what he was doing, he'd simply say "hunting". That is, until you asked one of his friends where the Sejin was. The man explained, seeming to relish your ignorance, that the Sejin was hunting a Manticore. A fearsome monster, half lion, half scorpion, stronger than ten men and who's barbs are as venomous as its tail.

When you confronted the Sejin in tears, he reassured you that he was in no danger, and that when you were older, you could come too. That week he begun to train you. Not the things he had taught you before, like the names of towns and rivers, or how to get a merchant to give you a better deal by telling him about how valuable your goods are, or how to keep an eye out for danger when the fire dies down in the wilderness, but how to fight, how to hold a staff, and parry a blow. Its also then when the Sejin showed what is in the book he always carries with him, a massive tome of golden pages... each page a depiction of a fearsome monster and a page describing how to fight it.

Your evening story time became lessons on reading, as the Sejin pulled a seeming infinite amount of scrolls from his bag.

A year l later, you find yourself, along with the Sejin, traveling down the winding road, in the backroads. Its been a long day, and you are tired, the sky is gray and threatning snow, and the path here is lightly wooded. Sunset is still a few hours away, and you know that in about an hour you'll have to set camp. You're immersed in thought, when the Sejin raises a fist, a sign you've both agreed means "Stop and be quiet", and you freeze. Following the Sejin's gaze, you see, among the trees, a horrific thing. Half spider, half man, if you can call the upper half a "man". It stands taller than two horses, and in its eyes lock with the Sejin, there's a pause, for a fraction of a second, before the beast lets out a savage scream, and begins charging, straight at you. You:



G.) Pass out in terror

H.) Stand in frozen terror, completely mute

I.) Call upon my ancient and powerful magics to hex the spider

J.) Call upon the power within me to invoke a firestorm


K.) Let out a horrified scream and run the opposite direction

L.) I actually have a deathwish, I charge towards the spider with my walking staff. It will crush me, and i will die.

M.) Fall to the ground and cover my eyes

N.) Write in

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Also Sejin question time is open over the three years you've known him

Also question time for me, because 3 years is a long time to try to cover in a post. Obviously you can't ask any questions that are out of scope.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled, we danced the Mamushka at Waterloo. We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper, and now, Fester Addams, this Mamushka is for you....
A for DEMON ARMIES OF THE DEMON QUEEN

H because it seems like the option that would force the Sejin to redirect his attention to us the least, thus allowing him to beat up the drider better.

The Lord of Hats
Aug 22, 2010

Hello, yes! Is being very good day for posting, no?
A, we have spirits to bind.

N we manage to adopt a terrifically lovely version of the stance we were taught before completely freezing up in terror. Muscle memory (sort of) works!

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


AN (Lord of hats), I'll let others formulate some questions as in too distracted right now. Also gently caress that spidude. Figuratively.

Hexenritter fucked around with this message at 20:56 on Dec 5, 2017

100 HOGS AGREE
Oct 13, 2007
Grimey Drawer
BH

Lux Anima
Apr 17, 2016


Dinosaur Gum
AH,

The sound we would wish to make when our 12-year-old expectations do not match with reality.

Question: What is YOUR favorite story, Sejin?

Lux Anima fucked around with this message at 21:53 on Dec 5, 2017

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014

Hello, Creature! Do You Despise Goat Hating Fascists? So Do We! Join Us at Paradise Lost!


AK

Questions:

What language are you singing in?

Shere did you leardn those songs?

Did your mother teach you? What was she like?

If someone cheats me in a deal, what should i do?

How did you get so strong?

B.B. Rodriguez
Aug 8, 2005

Bender: "I was God once." God: "Yes, I saw. You were doing well until everyone died."

CH

So our dad is a Grimm. That's cool.

Cannon_Fodder
Jul 17, 2007

"Hey, where did Steve go?"
Design by Kamoc
CN - Assuming we have a staff that we walk with, stand ready for action, while being somewhat on the verge of pissing ourselves in fear.

What does your name mean?
How long have you been traveling?
Who taught you where to go and what to do?
What the gently caress is that goddamn animal?
Why don't we poop? - Gotta get this out of the way early or it'll eat me up.

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Hexenritter
May 20, 2001


loving :laffo:
:five:

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