RagnarokAngel posted:

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

HenryJLittlefinger posted:

Drunk Tomato posted:

They had a baby after being married 38 years? So like, minimum this couple is mid 50s. How many extra chromisomes does the baby have?

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

How the gently caress do you raise a kid to 14 and then go "wow that was really awesome and I want to do it again!"

THE BIG DOG DADDY posted:

It was pretty clearly written by a lovely "Last Man Standing" type man (Tom) - note the following:

1. Complaints about male heirs being unathletic
2. Complaints about cell phone data plan usage
3. Inability to spell Sephora
4. Concerns over daughter sneaking in boys
5. Innocuous anecdote about leaving golf shoes out that clearly he has internalized as a "harmless nugget of married life" that he probably brings up at social functions

yeah I eat rear end posted:

But the last part says "after I told him" meaniny its the wife writing, or tom pretending to write as his wife in which case tom is weird.

yeah I eat rear end posted:

also you would think someone living with a teenager until they are 18 would have learned years ago that plans with data caps/text message limits(do those exist anymore?) are a recipe for disaster.

life is killing me posted:

Not to defend it or anything but I think the writer meant they as a couple were both 41 years old. The fact that the grammar sucks actually supports my theory, they’d have been 23 when they had the daughter and 38 when they had the last one which is high risk at worst.

I mean this still didn’t happen but we have to consider that grammatical errors can confuse people even in a thing that didn’t happen.

MrUnderbridge posted:

No, it definitely says "Still married after 41 years"

MrUnderbridge posted:

Usually when you're teaching beginning level stuff, you give the broadest version. Only later do you start getting into the exceptions and why they happen.

Zanzibar Ham posted:

I'd actually believe something like that happened, mostly since I had a similar experience when we started studying exponents, and me having learned about it a bit from my brother (and being a proto-goon) was real eager to show that I know that any number to the power of 0 is actually 1 and oh I'm so smart, but the teacher said things to the power of 0 are actually equal to 0. I was confused, especially when I asked her after the class ended and she said 'oh, it's just easier to teach it like that at first'. I suppose maybe it is? I dunno.

Oh also the whole class clapped or something

Some Listicle posted:

I am a nurse in an Emergency Room. My lunch was getting stolen on the regular. I wrote a note and placed it in my bag:

'Whoever is stealing my lunch, please stop. I will catch you. This is a warning.'

The culprit continued. It wasn't every day. I noticed a pattern: if I brought a PBJ sandwich, nothing happened. If I brought ham and cheese, it was definitely getting eaten. I tried making two, hoping to sacrifice one as an offering with a note, 'I made one for you and one for me. Please leave me one.'

The thief ate both and put the note in the sandwich bag. I was furious. Swore revenge and decided to finish this once and for all.

I ordered some Carolina Reaper pepper and put it on the ham and cheese sandwiches. I mixed the seeds into the mayo.

Two hours into the shift, one of the housekeeping guys (from another floor) was screaming about being poisoned while flushing his mouth in the sink. He checked in due to severe esophageal spasms.

Apparently, his body did not tolerate a Scoville Heat Index of 2,200,000. Scoville is the 'spicy heat' measurement of peppers similar to temperature in Fahrenheit. By comparison, a jalapeño has a Scoville Heat Index of 2,500--5,000. Yes, you read that right, a Jalapeño averages around three thousand and the Carolina Reaper is over two million!

Did I get in trouble? The assumption by my boss was that it was a revenge prank gone wrong. They opened an 'investigation' because the culprit lied and said someone spiked his sandwich. He told them to check the 'blue lunchbox' with the name 'Keith' written on it. That is how I came to be summoned to the office.

I walked into the office with my boss and a Human Resources (HR) representative already there and my lunchbox sitting on the desk. My boss said, 'Is this yours?'

I confirmed it was.

'Did you realize Darryl was poisoned after eating a sandwich out of this lunchbox?'

'Wow. No. Thank god it was not me.' I said. 'Who poisoned the sandwich?'

'We were hoping you could explain why a sandwich is so spicy it's inedible,' my boss said. 'Sends someone to the ER with esophageal spasms.'

I explained how I loved hot pepper on my ham and cheese and, had he asked, I would have told him to be careful. I asked, 'How can I reasonably be expected to make a lunch for myself reducing ingredients that may cause a reaction on someone who steals it? I would need a list of all the allergies and intolerances of the people planning to go in our fridge and steal our lunches or---here's an idea---they can just not steal our food!'

I think Darryl had confessed to eating (stealing) my food out of my lunchbox at this point. Just an assumption, I was never told this, but he had obviously told them about the notes I left, and they thought I would admit to 'spiking the mayo' when they confronted me about the notes. I never admitted to writing the notes. Just kept saying, 'What note? Where is it?'

Fat chance I was admitting to anything. The HR representative being present was indication of their intentions if I had confessed. I stuck to my guns, pled ignorance, and asked for my lunchbox back.

chitoryu12 posted:

The part that I hate the most is that "Scoville units are similar to temperature in Fahrenheit!" If your tongue was experiencing 2.2 million degrees Fahrenheit, your entire body would probably explode in a blast of plasma.

GreenMetalSun posted:

Yeah, no.

JK! posted:

Does anybody have the story where some dude was donating a ton of money to a camgirl but he was being a creeper and planning their wedding and all that? Then he got pissed at her and donated a money to another girl? It was the craziest bullshit.

JK! posted:

Does anybody have the story where some dude was donating a ton of money to a camgirl but he was being a creeper and planning their wedding and all that? Then he got pissed at her and donated a money to another girl? It was the craziest bullshit.

Elysiume posted:

I remember seeing a story where a guy was donating enough to singlehandedly support a streamer and was in love with her, and she said something that generally implied that donations do not buy her love. He then stopped donating and detailed his extensive pleasure watching her struggle to stay afloat without his donations. Is that the one you're thinking of? I can't find the one I saw and googling various combinations of "stream creepy take away donations watch suffer" might be putting me on a watchlist.