Fat Samurai posted:

Late to the party, but there is no such thing as a fish

Outrail posted:

Calling bullshit. I've been fishing. By definition anything caught while fishing is a fish. A fish is a fish. A jellyfish is a fish. Rocks are fish. Seaweed is a fish. At least one of my fingers is a fish.

Dumb Lowtax posted:

More than 2 kids got brain damage I think

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

Kfffbrbbbbooof

Pissed Ape Sexist posted:

"D'oh!"
-A deer (female)

Trazz posted:

Roy Moore is either going to win the Senate race, or come in a little behind

Dumb Lowtax posted:

Blurred posted:

Moore will scrape home by a couple of points, but it won't be a narrow victory it will be a minor loving victory.

freckle posted:

I'M DUMB AS HELL AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!

MikeCrotch posted:

In this metaphor Tumblr is the Japanese and Cyrano is everyone's grandpa who served in the Pacific

CzarChasm posted:

Thought people used all the good pedophile jokes on AAtrek

Powaqoatse posted:

Tricky Ed posted:

I can't stand Jimmy Buffett, but it is not his fault.

Many, many years ago, in the very early 90s, my parents and I spent 10 days at a Caribbean resort that was trying to become the new hot all-inclusive place for rich people to visit. They billed it as "exclusive," but what they meant was "too small to matter." Anyway, they suckered my parents in with some huge discount or something and off we went to attend this gala opening event.

One of the things in the brochure was "entertainment at every meal." At the first dinner, there was a man in his early fifties in the corner. He had a floral-print shirt, an acoustic guitar, a portable drum sequencer, a Peavey amp, and a repertoire of James Buffett's songs. It was kind of neat as a welcome to this little island. One table requested "Why Don't we Get Drunk (and Screw)" and everyone giggled when he changed the lyric to "and shoot pool." People sang along to the chorus of Margaritaville. He got polite, appreciative applause.

Then, he was at breakfast the next day.

And then he was at lunch.

And then dinner again.

They had hired one man, whose entire repertoire came from Jimmy Buffet's "Songs you Know by Heart" album, and not even the whole thing.

For.

Every.

Meal.

Honestly, you could tell he could tell it was wearing thin by day three, but he (apparently) had to play to fulfill his contract. So we got instrumental versions. Uptempo. Downtempo. But never any other songs. Never any Harry Belafonte, or Bob Marley, or even any Beach Boys. Just Margaritaville, Volcano, Changes in Attitude, Changes in Latitude, Pencil Thin Mustache, Fins, Son of a Son of a Sailor, Come Monday, Boat Drinks, and the big finisher of Cheeseburger in Paradise.

I'll never know why a man who appeared to be able to play the guitar fairly well could only ever play those songs from that album. Maybe he couldn't store more drum tracks in that sequencer's memory? Maybe he was a friend of a friend who didn't realize it was more than one performance? Was he tricked into doing it? Did the hotel manager pick the setlist and refuse to budge? Whatever his reasons, the mood around him went from appreciative to tolerating to accepting before it just settled on acrimony. People rushed past his station at the head of the buffet line, no longer making eye contact. People began arriving early so they could claim the tables farthest from him first. The applause stopped. No one sang along.

The hell of it was that he was being put up in one of the resort rooms, so even between meals he'd still be there at the pool, on the beach, or in the lounge. It was a tiny place, so there really wasn't a way to avoid running into the same people over and over. No one else was ever with him, though. Most people avoided eye contact. He was miserable. We were miserable. But he'd sure as hell be there at the next meal, playing and singing those same nine songs.

On about day 6, he announced, true or not, that he'd lost his voice and wouldn't be able to sing for us. The announcement got his first round of applause since day two.

Weirdly, I found the interview with him to be interesting and entertaining. I guess I don't mind the man himself, but I can't listen to those songs even now. It's not really his fault, after all.

Jedit posted:

You can now get Viagra over the counter in the UK. So the official answer to "how do I obtain Viagra" is now "it's not hard".

luminalflux posted:

no that's the question and the answer is "obtain viagra"

Skwirl posted:

https://twitter.com/PFTCommenter/status/939945215762358272

red19fire posted:

In middle school, my neighbor had a goldfish. He never cleaned the bowl, he just sprinkled in food once a day. The water was opaque with filth, but for years we'd see flashes of orange to let us know the fish was still alive. Then one day his mom replaced the water in the bowl and the fish died the next day.

This is what will happen if president deals stops eating 4,000 calories of mcdonalds and 12 diet cokes a day, his grotesque body has adapted to survive off filth.

Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

al-azad posted:

Okay this is the dumbest poo poo I've done to find a video game but I either made this song up, it was an original piece someone did for their youtube gaming channel, or I'm grossly misremembering it from a mishmash of Koji Kondo's weird lo-fi "I just discovered Hollywood samples and I'm composing this Zelda game" music + that distinct fruityloops as hell style music that dominated the Playstation.

Creepy song that I just know has to be from a video game!!!

Pneub posted:

Swedish Chef Goes to Hell for the 32X.

BgRdMchne posted:

When I'm on probe, it shows the time I can post again in CST in the purple text, while I have Eastern Time selected in the settings.

What gives?

Blue Train posted:

Don't do the crime if you can't tell the time

frankenfreak posted:

brylcreem posted:

Actually, Lolita was published in English and later translated into Russian by Nabokov himself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lolita

Serak posted:

A good thing to do at parties is impress everyone with how much you know about Lolita

MourningView posted:

3 wins in 3 years should be unacceptable anywhere even historically terrible programs like Kansas or Rutgers

Kim Jong Il posted:

God it's going to be amazing when Ferentz retires and you're Iowa State.

Alaois posted:

egads, what a horrible fate, being another team that's better than Rutgers

Covok posted:

I'm looking to make a comic book. I was wondering if anyone would be willing to take a peak at the script because I'm an amateur.

The Premise of "Vox Populi: The Voice of the People": Vox Populi is a vigilante who deals poetic punishment to individuals who escape the laws of man, people who normally don't go to jail and don't get punished for their crimes. His identity is a secret, even from the readers, and his powers are mysterious, even from the readers. He could be man or a concept or a spirit. The people he punishes are people like a pharmaceutical CEO who buys a patent just to raise the prices to unsustainable levels out of greed or a cop who uses his position to kill black people and get away with it. He makes his punishment fit the crime like taking the aforementioned CEO's money away and having him suffer under the broken US healthcare system and be unable to get the medicine he needs to live because of his own price gouging. It's a revenge fantasy comic. And it's political.

The script for issue 1 can be found here. It's...messy. I'm working on issue 2 and I think I have a better idea what to do with the comic. So I might revise this later.

I also got two other ideas: Not-So-Superman, a comic about isolation and boring mundanity about a man whose secretly the superhero Omegaman but still works a boring 9-to-5 office job, and DEFEND: American Patriot, a pulp comic set in 1975 about a secret agent defending America and dealing with racial and gender inequality since she is an African American women from New Orleans who got her position because the person in charge of DEFEND isn't racist or sexist and is able to get around the forces who'd stop him.

Though, obviously, I plan on focusing on this one until I hit a natural stopping point, shelve it for a bit, and do one of the others in a rotational thing. Kind of like what Valiant does, except only one comic at a time. Though, this probably thinking way too ahead.

A CRUNK BIRD posted:

Panel 5: A closer version of the previous shot of Vox Populi on the roof. He should be leaning over the edge, one foot on the edge, looking at the readers. We’ll have a reference shot and character sheet prepared for him.

5. VOX POPULI: Vox Populi!

6. CAPTION Tough On Crime

LETTERING NOTE: The caption should be in the corner and in this font (insert name of font here when I find it)

sector_corrector posted:

One, Vox Populi needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a noose. Two, when Vox Populi isn't on page all of the other characters (Cop, Woman 1, Victim) should be asking 'Where's Vox Populi?'

ruskerdax posted:

I was inspired.

Covok posted:

Well, to start off, if you're wondering "will he go after government officials," I had an idea for a villain called "Turtle Man." Not his real name, but a nickname given due to his similarities to a turtle. And there would be a story where he would be punished for essentially passing legislation designed to turbo gently caress the poor. If it's not obvious, he'd be based on Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

ruskerdax posted:

Turtleman is immune to the noose. That is why he is the greatest threat... to the people.

fairlight posted:

VOX POPULI: Vox Populi!

ruskerdax posted:

That is why I don the monk.

an overdue owl posted:

Comical

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

I don’t even read comics, and I would read all three of those, especially DEFEND.

April posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/7iz13z/didnt_even_realize_i_was_digging_a_huge_hole/?st=jb2tzthb&sh=621f8599


Of course, the OP is offered some very simple, obvious advice, but:


Really, the whole thread is a giant litany of excuses. "I have soooooo much debt, how can I get rid of it without getting rid of anything or earning any more money or making any changes whatsoever???"

April posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/7j3e08/managing_unaffordable_monthly_payments_at_17/?st=jb2ujbad&sh=95b92f8b


Wait, why does a 17 year old need $1150/month? Medical bills? Sports car?? It's a horse.

Mezzanon posted:

loving lol that this 17 year old has a job that pays literally twice as much per hour than the shameful 21 year old with 23 grand in debt.

Inept posted:

She makes $20/hour working in a horse barn. I guarantee it's a family friend overpaying her, because no one pays 17 year-olds $20 for any kind of work unless their name is Roy Moore.

Manchild King posted:

Btw, 20% of the old gulag camps are now haunted.

The locals call them ghoulags.

Al Borland Corp. posted:

https://twitter.com/Mucinex/status/929022494899691520?s=17

He's running

Two Feet From Bread posted:

No. I thought JKR implied that Dumbledore had a 'more than friends' relationship with Hagrid. Why else would you give a convicted child murder a job at the same place he committed child murder in?

I mean, even if the big D knew it wasn't really Hagrid that murdered the girl, wizard court still convicted him and upheld the conviction. Even a wizard principal would have to pull massive strings to let Hagrid on school ground. Let alone give him a job with children. Why do that unless you wanted easy access to him?

System Metternich posted:

LingcodKilla posted:

I found a huge slug in my disgusting hotel room in Gettysburg.

God it was bad.

DandyLion posted:

They got mirrors in dem hotel rooms in Gettysburg!?

Sandwich Anarchist posted:

No he was meeting your mom there.

DandyLion posted:

Uh, we're brothers dude, she's your mom too.

Bip Roberts posted:

Too bad they missed with those missiles.

Willie Tomg posted:

Shoulda used hittles.

Outrail posted:

Every school has problem children. Hogwarts has a problem solver.

frankenfreak posted:

Lobok posted:

Any series that centres on kids has adults who are incompetent or terrifying or terrifyingly incompetent.

Blue Train posted:

I have that same just post tattoo on my fingers

Karate Bastard posted:

Hitles kinda went out of fashion mid last century. Could come back in vogue now though.