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Imperialist Dog posted:(mumble) I said, DO YOU HAVE STAIRS IN YOUR HOUSE hehe
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# ? Jan 13, 2018 23:32 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 16:18 |
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I think we should open our relationship.
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# ? Jan 13, 2018 23:45 |
i pee on you when we shower together
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 00:24 |
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the cops are here ill call you later
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 00:29 |
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Would you like to see my homebuilt submarine?
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 00:32 |
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ikanreed posted:If you leave me I'll kill myself. immediately leaves
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 00:34 |
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look my phone told me a ballistic missile is coming and only i can really fit in this fridge so look the sex wasnt that great anyways i hope death isn't too painful. *throws food out, crawls in fridge and waits 30 min*
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 00:58 |
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Talaq talaq talaq works fine every time
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 01:22 |
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I'm sorry, but I can't allow my umami chakra to be influenced by your yin-type qi.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 02:08 |
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edit: nevermind that was loving terrible
Kak fucked around with this message at 03:28 on Jan 14, 2018 |
# ? Jan 14, 2018 02:22 |
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I understand. I hate me too.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:06 |
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Here's a real one that's funny in retrospect. The day after my birthday I go down to celebrate it with someone I was dating a little bit away. Anyway things are fine blah blah blah, than I hear the words "we need to talk" and Immediately know what's up. At first they wouldn't tell me why they wanted to break up with me, but I, being a idiot decided to state that I was a adult and could handle it. "I'm not attracted to you" I didn't handle It well, obviously and broke down in the parking lot. Then when I got home I slashed my arms up a bunch and texted them photos. Don't date me, I'm completely insane, lol.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:24 |
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Ponies Ist Krieg posted:Here's a real one that's funny in retrospect. The day after my birthday I go down to celebrate it with someone I was dating a little bit away. Anyway things are fine blah blah blah, than I hear the words "we need to talk" and Immediately know what's up. Wasn't going to
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:33 |
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Let's have sex. With other people. and also do various couples activities with those other people, and not with each other anymore.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:33 |
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Streak posted:Wasn't going to can I have a lock of your hair
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 03:36 |
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Dolphin posted:I'm gonna give you up, let you down, run around and desert you, make you cry, say goodbye, and hurt you. Oooh, so close.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 05:58 |
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Oooh, so close. Also this is my breakup one-liner
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 05:59 |
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Tinfoil Papercut posted:"I love you" Don't do what I did once and ignore this Red flag.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 07:49 |
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I just can't be with someone unless I'm the biggest they've ever had and they've dated enough men to appreciate the fact.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 07:52 |
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I usually confess love on the first date, on the second date i bring them a pair of simulacrums of us together from items I've gathered from their relatives or close friends house under the cover of night. sometimes i just like to sneak in and lay under their beds without them knowing.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:00 |
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I flick my cigarette into his face and say "have a nice life, prick."
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:03 |
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I just can't get over the fact that you used to date Hitler.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:26 |
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Smokebomb!!!
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:28 |
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I just can't be with someone who doesn't "get" Archer. (used this one for real)
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:29 |
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'Do you know what happens to our relationship when we break up?' *makes lightning noises with mouth* 'The same thing that happens to everything else.'
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:29 |
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Applewhite posted:I just can't be with someone who doesn't "get" Archer. (used this one for real) Do your partners know about your shameful online past
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:30 |
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"You refuse to peg me" Had that backfire on me twice.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:31 |
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Do your partners know about your shameful online past My wife is reading all my posts over my shoulder as we speak.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:33 |
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Applewhite posted:My wife is reading all my posts over my shoulder as we speak. SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Smokebomb!!!
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 08:33 |
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I'm not gay, but I'll learn
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 09:26 |
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I'm OUT! Then you pick that person up and drop them on the floor like a microphone.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 09:39 |
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Well we’ll see whos crazy when bittcoin is 100 000! Then you’ll come crawling back! up Up UP!
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:15 |
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brb
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:25 |
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soy posted:I am gently caress I am also gently caress.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:26 |
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you told me to follow my dreams, and its just, on a professional level, the perception of being available is a really important part of what it means to be a wedding dj
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:33 |
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It's time we talked about my obsession with Hitler.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:43 |
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SCROTO TURBOSPERG posted:Smokebomb!!! Pocket sand!!!
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 10:54 |
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honey, could u please join me at the top of the staircase
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 11:11 |
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Your lack of GI sepsis is a real bummer
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:07 |
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# ? Apr 29, 2024 16:18 |
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Look, I did some soul-searching and finally realized that you can never replace Carlita. I'm sorry I made you wear your hair like her, wear her clothes and get all that surgery.
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# ? Jan 14, 2018 13:07 |