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We bought a readymade learning tower off Amazon and it's great for keeping my toddler out of my way when I cook (he likes to open ovens). When we first got it I wrapped a mesh crib bumper around it to keep him from falling out and now he can get up and down himself. It's his designated spot for painting and doing play doh.
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Feb 14, 2018 02:47
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I just don't have the space for a dedicated tower for my kid. What's wrong with a chair? Put it so the back is at their back, and stand at their side. Only 1 "open" side at that point. But mine is still to small to be interested in cooking yet, so maybe I'll change my mind later on??
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Feb 14, 2018 04:22
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I think not having to be close and able to hold/catch them is the important part. We do the chair thing right now, but I can barely cook since I need a free hand to take care of him constantly. A 2 year old on a chair is a terrible fall waiting to happen.
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Feb 14, 2018 13:12
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My kid has fallen off the dining room chair from just sitting in it, and we’ve worked really hard to instill a “no standing on chairs” rule.
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Feb 14, 2018 14:18
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Today's school shooting here in the US has really hit me hard. I don't know if its my hormones, or that news broke as I was getting ready to pick up my kids from school and I remembered them talking about practicing a lockdown drill last week. Or that I'm a human being. I haven't really talked to my kids yet about why they need lockdown drills, but there was a kid that actually brought a gun to their school earlier in the school year and they had to do a real lockdown. The parents all learned about it from the news, no one mentioned it when we all picked our kids up from school. Have you US goons talked to your kids about this kind of stuff yet? My kids are rather young, the oldest is 7 in the 1st grade, and I don't know when to start talking to them about this stuff. Bullying, violence, gun safety...I just don't want to bring these concepts into their world, if I don't have to. Is ignorance bliss?
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Feb 15, 2018 00:41
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For the first time in my life, I had to explain a school shooting to my child. Columbine was my freshman year of high school. It seems a long, long time ago.
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Feb 15, 2018 03:01
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KingColliwog posted:I think not having to be close and able to hold/catch them is the important part. We used a sturdy two-step stepstool. It has a top rail and basically side rails. Super sturdy and folds up to go away when we dont need it. My daughter pushes it all around the kitchen to get what she wants. Something like this: Cosco Two Step Big Step Folding Step Stool with Rubber Hand Grip, Grey https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0032JRVPI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_TSqHAbJFG30YQ
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Feb 15, 2018 05:24
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Axiem posted:There are few things as joyful as knowing you're done with having kids, so as your youngest keeps passing milestones, you can finally find someone else about to have a kid and start getting rid of all that baby poo poo you've been keeping around since you got it from someone else doing the same thing while you were expecting your first child... What feels really great is not having to pack around a bag of diapers and change gear all the time. Now they just tell you they have to go and that's it. And just going on the toilet by themselves and handling everything on their own.
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Feb 15, 2018 09:15
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VorpalBunny posted:Have you US goons talked to your kids about this kind of stuff yet? My kids are rather young, the oldest is 7 in the 1st grade, and I don't know when to start talking to them about this stuff. Bullying, violence, gun safety...I just don't want to bring these concepts into their world, if I don't have to. Is ignorance bliss? My oldest is in Kindergarten, and I dread the day I have to discuss this with any of my kids. I'm not sure what she's picking up in school, though, and really have no idea how to talk about any of this with someone so young. Not that I even know how to discuss this with any teenager, either. The spectre of gun violence has been hanging over the heads of children since Columbine (also when I was a freshman), and I'm not sure what there is to be said, given the utterly anemic response of politicians to any of it. However, Millennials have grown up with that spectre, and it'll be interesting to see what happens when they actually start exercising political power in that regard, instead of politics in the US basically being driven by Baby Boomers. His Divine Shadow posted:What feels really great is not having to pack around a bag of diapers and change gear all the time. Now they just tell you they have to go and that's it. And just going on the toilet by themselves and handling everything on their own. We've hit that with the oldest, and it is absolutely amazing. Now that we're sure we're done having kids, it's like we see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it is glorious.
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Feb 15, 2018 18:02
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VorpalBunny posted:Today's school shooting here in the US has really hit me hard. I don't know if its my hormones, or that news broke as I was getting ready to pick up my kids from school and I remembered them talking about practicing a lockdown drill last week. Or that I'm a human being. I had lock down drills at school when I was a kid 20+ years ago, they aren't new. And we had a suspicious person come onto campus once and had a real lock down. However, the fact your kids school didn't disclose what happened to the parents is pretty shocking. I'd be pissed, to say the least. Start the discussions early! Ignorance is not bliss, it's how kids end up accidentally shooting themselves or a friend when finding a gun where it shouldn't be. I am a gun owner and plan on teaching my kid starting from about 3 or 4 why guns are dangerous, how to handle them safely, and what to do if they ever see one. My husband wants her to learn to shoot at 5 (I think 7 is better, but we have time for that). Just like sex, the less they know, the more dangerous it can be for them!
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Feb 15, 2018 19:38
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Reformed Tomboy posted:I am a gun owner and plan on teaching my kid starting from about 3 or 4 why guns are dangerous, how to handle them safely, and what to do if they ever see one. I am not a gun owner, never have been, and never want to be, and I have no idea how to have that discussion in the first place, or even what to do if they find a gun. Leave it alone and tell an adult?
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Feb 15, 2018 20:02
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Pretty much! Opinions about the NRA aside, their youth safety education program is pretty good: https://eddieeagle.nra.org/
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Feb 15, 2018 20:33
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Axiem posted:I am not a gun owner, never have been, and never want to be, and I have no idea how to have that discussion in the first place, or even what to do if they find a gun. Leave it alone and tell an adult? Yup. Don't touch it. Find an adult asap and tell them about it. All guns are assumed loaded, always, and have to be treated as such (never aim it at a person, dont touch the trigger until ready to fire, etc.).
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Feb 16, 2018 00:05
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Reformed Tomboy posted:I had lock down drills at school when I was a kid 20+ years ago, they aren't new. And we had a suspicious person come onto campus once and had a real lock down. However, the fact your kids school didn't disclose what happened to the parents is pretty shocking. I'd be pissed, to say the least. We are trying for our first in the next 69 months or so (after we get married in november), so I've been following this thread for advice and haven't had much to contribute until now. I grew up around guns, my father first went through explaining as you plan to, around the age of 3-4, we first handled guns around 5-6 and started shooting somewhere around 7-8. I applaud your plan and will likely follow similarly. To non-gun owners and gun haters, just because you don't want to touch them or be near them, doesn't mean your children won't be, pretending they don't exist and never going through some sort of safety is a really loving bad idea. You might not need to go through gun safety at the same age gun owners plan on doing it, but I wouldn't leave it much past 5-6 because they will have friends that have guns in their home.
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Feb 16, 2018 01:40
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It's lovely to have guns in the house if you have children. Hate all you want but I don't care. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/magazine/guns-and-suicide/
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Feb 16, 2018 02:07
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DangerZoneDelux posted:It's lovely to have guns in the house if you have children. Hate all you want but I don't care. Yep.
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Feb 16, 2018 02:38
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As a Canadian this whole discussion seems insane.
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Feb 16, 2018 02:38
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KingColliwog posted:As a Canadian this whole discussion seems insane. It’s insane for a lot of us Americans too. 
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Feb 16, 2018 02:45
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I like guns, but I'm never going to have one in my house with my kids. It can stay at the range, that's fine!
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Feb 16, 2018 02:51
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I own guns, I enjoy target shooting, do hunt. All of my guns are in storage until my son is old enough to handle them responsibly on his own.
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Feb 16, 2018 04:04
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I've got guns in my home, secured, and my next home is going to have a pool and stairs. My kid was also formula fed for the most part and occasionally watches some TV. For some in this thread I might as well be Hitler. Despite living in Texas AND Arizona (where all the laws people think Texas has about guns actually exist) I still know more people affected by alcohol issues (drunk driving deaths) and undiagnosed heart issues (several funerals for that) than anything ever involving firearms in the home. Just have to be safe, responsible, and aware.
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Feb 16, 2018 14:18
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Didn't the NRA lobby for some law that prevents pediatricians from asking parents if they have a gun in the house? Which is baffling; I figure a wellness check should certainly cover something like this. Especially since some gun owners really stress 'Guns are tools!'. Well okay. If we accept guns are very dangerous tools, doesn't it make sense to reinforce how much you need to stress safety toward owners that have one in the house with kids? Why resist measures to ensure this message gets reinforced? I see this quite often with many gun owners, they get extremely defensive when people tell them "You have a dangerous item in the house, you need to take XYZ+3 precautions. Often the person telling them this isn't even accusing them of being a bad or negligent parent, just reminding them of the potential consequences involved. Sometimes I find the defensiveness about the issue more worrisome than the gun ownership in the first place. I used to hear about couples complaining about how hard it was to fost-adopt, and when pressed for details it turned out that dad both had psychological problems in the past and currently owned guns in the house. It wasn't even that they were instantly rejected, but rather that the dad would steadfastly refuse to be interviewed by a Social Worker. Like you want kids so bad and you're so insistent these things are not an issue in your household, then why be so cagey about a potentially enormous pair of  about it? 
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Feb 16, 2018 15:00
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Panfilo posted:Like you want kids so bad and you're so insistent these things are not an issue in your household, then why be so cagey about a potentially enormous pair of Our pediatrician asks as part of every visit. The answer is "yes, and they're locked up at all times" and we move on. It isn't that tough. Not to start a huge political debate in the parenting thread, but since most of you appear to be in a similar age group, where you were in HS when Columbine happened, I have to ask: Does HS still suck as much as it did when I went? I was the designated school shooter that everyone was waiting to snap. I loving hated HS, but of course my complaints were met with "you just need to get along and just be happy." Nothing excuses killing people, but I can certainly emphasize with a certain amount of "can't change anything about my life, nobody listens to me, I have no control, except....."
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Feb 16, 2018 15:28
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I was actually suspended (allegedly for my own protection) the week after Columbine because I was bullied pretty bad in HS, had long hair and a trenchcoat and acted angsty, and the two cops that patrolled my HS had overheard a few girls from school talking about how I was going to go nuts on people one of these days. One small point of bitterness I have about the whole ordeal is that while people acted sympathetic to me about getting 'profiled', absolutely no one stood up for me at the time. My family kept telling me, "Just do what they tell you, don't give them a reason to suspect anything" My ten year reunion had a lot of former classmates reassure me they thought it was bullshit. But nobody stood up or advocated for me at the time. If I ever had a child in my situation, I feel like I would handle things a lot differently than my parents and peers did with me.
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Feb 16, 2018 15:35
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MF_James posted:To non-gun owners and gun haters, just because you don't want to touch them or be near them, doesn't mean your children won't be, pretending they don't exist and never going through some sort of safety is a really loving bad idea. I agree, which is why I asked the question. I just struggle with how to broach it in the first place, and how to make sure it gets through her head. I'm also a little amused: when it comes to the sex talks, I'm pretty confident that I can broach that and talk about it, and I'm not particularly dreading it. But when it comes to things like guns or the Holocaust or racism or slavery, I just feel a bit overwhelmed. It doesn't help that she's a super cheery girl who's often lost in her own little world and not paying attention to things around her, and it feels even worse to break that bubble, compared to if she'd actually picked up on something and asked a question. (One of my friends had her son ask "What does horrific mean?" after seeing the headline in the local paper, and so she explained it) I should also say for the record: if you want to own guns or whatever, cool. Just: FunOne posted:Just have to be safe, responsible, and aware. ^ This. FunOne posted:Not to start a huge political debate in the parenting thread, but since most of you appear to be in a similar age group, where you were in HS when Columbine happened, I have to ask: Does HS still suck as much as it did when I went? I was the designated school shooter that everyone was waiting to snap. I loving hated HS, but of course my complaints were met with "you just need to get along and just be happy." My high school experience was very mixed. There are some things that are utterly terrible about it (like that whole thing where I was suicidal (and if there had been a gun in the house that I'd had access to, I'm pretty sure I would have used it on myself)) but I was also pretty lucky about the school I went to and the friends I had, and I learned some good stuff then and had good experiences, alongside the lovely ones. Talking to high school students these days, not much has changed, though the threat of a school shooter is far more omnipresent. A friend of mine commented on Facebook (in reaction to this shooting) that she (as a teacher) was disturbed when they did a hostile intruder drill in the school, because all of the kids knew exactly what to do and where to hide and took it super seriously. She said it was the quietest she'd ever seen a classroom full of teenagers be. In my high school, one student got expelled because on one of his vocabulary make-up-sentences homework things he wrote a sentence that included a throw-away comment about shooting a teacher. He later got un-expelled because his parents were like "loving seriously?" and he apologized and claimed he wasn't feeling well when he wrote it, and there was a ton of drama but he came back. What I do know is that since Wednesday, I've been hugging my kids more and last night spent a little more time playing with them and reading to them before putting them to bed—after letting them stay up a little later than usual.
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Feb 16, 2018 21:42
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FunOne posted:Our pediatrician asks as part of every visit. The answer is "yes, and they're locked up at all times" and we move on. It isn't that tough. I was a senior in 1999 when Columbine happened. High school is awesome for some people and sucks for others because teenagers aren't particularly stable it's easy to ostracize some people and be inclusive towards others. Junior High was actually shittier in my experience though since most people at least started to grow up some in high school and even if people didn't like you for some reason they didn't tend to pick on people specifically. High school was "meh" for me. I had my good friends, I had my hobbies, I wasn't super involved in school stuff and I didn't get hassled or hassle other people. I'm sure other people had better or worse experiences. Basically it just depends on the person and what they're going through at the time. I've always had a fairly neutral attitude towards guns in general (though I've been a strong believer in stricter gun laws) because I grew up in a small rural town where lots of people hunted, there were lots of ranchers, my dad hunted for awhile and still has his rifles, but I honestly can't keep that perspective any longer. America's relationship with guns isn't healthy or right and I'm fast losing sympathy for guns in nearly any context at this point. One of my sisters good friends was accidentally shot and killed when she was in high school by a kid who grew up around guns and should have known better. Stupid numbers of people die every year, literal children are killed at school, and the best we can do is say "I like guns you just have to be safe with them!"
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Feb 17, 2018 00:30
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Well my kid has finally learned cowardice and its terrible. Afraid to do a whole bunch of things he used to love. I dont know what happened.
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Feb 17, 2018 17:36
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GlyphGryph posted:Well my kid has finally learned cowardice and its terrible. Afraid to do a whole bunch of things he used to love. I dont know what happened. ...aren't you going through a divorce? Maybe that happened?
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Feb 17, 2018 17:56
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GlyphGryph posted:Well my kid has finally learned cowardice and its terrible. Afraid to do a whole bunch of things he used to love. I dont know what happened. My 5 year old is going through that. More shyness and fear. I guess she’s aware of doing things that may hurt. Still doesn’t stop her swinging from our gym we’ve got clamped to the door frame.
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Feb 17, 2018 18:03
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GlyphGryph posted:Well my kid has finally learned cowardice and its terrible. Afraid to do a whole bunch of things he used to love. I dont know what happened.
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Feb 17, 2018 18:10
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Yeah it’s an annoying but important stage, you don’t want them jumping off crazy heights or running through a busy street or even jumping on strangers. It gets better pretty fast as they learn what is safe and what isn’t
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Feb 17, 2018 18:59
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Its just weird. That post was mostly inspired by the fact that he now sees swings as too frightening, while he used to demand i go faster and higher no matter how fast and high i went. I guess it makes sense though! (And I will make sure to keep an eye on him in the pool)
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Feb 17, 2018 20:30
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Are there any go-to books for 3month to beyond that anyone would recommend? Only book we’ve grabbed so far is WonderWeeks.
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Feb 19, 2018 23:07
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About the high school discussion, there are more options than I remember when I was in high school. Less stigma for trying different paths. My daughter ended up and discovering a middle college program that has been a lifesaver for her. They talked about it as a program for kids who aren't into the trappings of high school, like football games and Proms and cheerleaders. She came to us with the program, which means they explained it to the high school kids, not to parents. But I think that's also important that high school kids have more empowerment than I remember, my school was a lot of doing exactly what authority figures say all the time. And she's getting on towards graduating now and she'll have almost 2 years of college credit under her belt at the same time as a high school diploma. Other things about high school seem worse than I remember, for example, any class that has writing or notes makes you take notes in a certain way, and you actually get graded on the notes you take. It's related to the fact that it's very important for funding to have kids in seats, so curriculum shifted to having lots of little assignments that are due every day rather than just doing well on tests. I mean obviously there has always been homework but I'm talking about getting it checked off that you brought your books with you, that you have one page of notes per day, things like that. It's actually very hard if your kid has problems with organizing, all those classes with tiny requirements becomes completely overwhelming.
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Feb 20, 2018 06:10
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virinvictus posted:Are there any go-to books for 3month to beyond that anyone would recommend? Only book we’ve grabbed so far is WonderWeeks. Here's what I've read so far - some recommended by this thread, others from my new parents groups, etc: Baby-led parenting - Gill Rapley Depends how you feel about the whole "baby-led" thing. I liked and follow most of the principles (e.g. we did baby led feeding, currently doing baby led weaning because more benefits and less hassle and stress, and we do baby led sleeping) as they made sense to me and anything that involves making daily life less of a production is a win. I didn't read the baby led weaning book, though I did read the cookbook which has a summary and useful recipes. I definitely drew the line at "baby-led toileting" though. Apparently it involves not using nappies and you learning your baby's signs of when they need to go and then hightailing it to the toilet and holding baby over the bowl. Yeah. I don't have time for that. Babywatching - Desmond Morris Less of a parenting book, and more like a David Attenborough style observational book on babies. It was interesting and provided some insights into why babies behave the way they do. Grit - Angela Duckworth Evidence-based parenting advice based on the finding that grit is a significant predictor of success, and that grit can be taught/cultivated. Her advice is basically everyone in the family has to do One Hard Thing. They get to pick what the Hard Thing is, but they have to commit and persevere with it. At the moment it's just theory in my head; I will revisit this again once my daughter is older and try and put it into practice. Playful Parenting - Lawrence Cohen This was honestly a really helpful read, especially as I don't consider myself to be a naturally "fun" parent (you know how some people just seem like they would be a cool fun parent...yeah...not me). Very focused on the importance of play for children and has loads of practical advice on how to play with children. I will be revisiting this again when my daughter is older! Raising Your Child in a Digital World - Kirsty Goodwin Also a good read, explores impact of screens on developing brains. I came away basically concluding no screentime before 2. The No-Cry Sleep/Nap Solution - Elizabeth Pantley I'm firmly in the no controlled crying camp so I liked this. Do I follow everything in it? No. I did find the explanations helpful though.
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Feb 20, 2018 12:49
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His Divine Shadow posted:What feels really great is not having to pack around a bag of diapers and change gear all the time. Now they just tell you they have to go and that's it. And just going on the toilet by themselves and handling everything on their own. I’m so looking forward to having my purse and not my diaper bag backpack that is so chock full that it looks like a bugout bag
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Feb 20, 2018 13:00
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I’m so looking forward to having my purse and not my diaper bag backpack that is so chock full that it looks like a bugout bag But then I think I’ll keep taking wet wipes with me. They’re so useful and practical.
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Feb 20, 2018 13:13
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Am I crazy for freaking out just a little bit that my 3.5 year old got up on his own at some point early this morning and went downstairs by himself and kept himself occupied until after I got out of the shower? Maybe its because I, personally, didn't get a good night of sleep. Or that I suspect he woke up extra early today and I can't be sure. Or that I suspect he may also have grabbed his iPad and been on that while my wife and I slept. It's the first time in almost four years that I or my wife didn't either carry him or walk down with him in the morning. And the crazy thing is, I've been wanting him to just do exact this (minus the super early part and I guess the iPad part) for months and now that he did it I have such opposing feelings.
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Feb 20, 2018 14:32
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Nah that's pretty cool, just means you need to make sure you don't leave poo poo lying around from the night before now.
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Feb 20, 2018 15:07
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My wife and I had our first child at the end of October and chiming in to say it's the best. Somehow we also ended up with the best kid ever, too. (I'm sure that no parent has ever said that before.) I hear all of these horror stories about baby sleeping and I think we got really lucky with a kid who is not all that hard to manage with his sleeping. We still have a nighttime wake-up or two, but nothing too severe. He's almost 4 months now and he has been sleeping on his own in his crib (with a video monitor) since he was about 2 months old. Since that time he wakes up usually once or twice per night. He goes down somewhere between 8 and 9pm and will wake up the first time between 2 - 4 am and then again between 6 and 8 am. At the second wake-up if it is after 7am or so we will just go ahead and get up for the day but we'll usually try and put him back down again if he finishes eating before 6:30 or so to get a couple more hours. After those feedings he usually goes right back to sleep, too. He drinks formula at night and breast milk during the day because we've just found that to be easiest. He will occasionally have a fitful night where he wakes up every 3 hours, but that is pretty rare. Maybe once per week at the most. We barely read any parenting books and don't have a fancy sleep-training program. We just try and be consistent and cool parents even though we are mostly making it up as we go along. Naps are sometimes inconsistent during the day depending on whether he is at day care or home with one of us, but we're trying to figure out a schedule that works for everyone. Did we just get lucky? I read some thing that recommended babies sleep in the same room as parents until like 6 months and the thought of that just sounds miserable.
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Feb 20, 2018 18:21
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