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Samizdata posted:* Customer requested we stop calling. - Call customer every day. *Customer suing us for harassment - Call customer and customer's lawyer every day.
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Mar 7, 2018 23:11
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Thanks Ants posted:Do you work for the person that thinks G Suite and Exchange Online is too expensive? Yes... I love working for this company,. But on occasion, the owner picks strange things to single out. And unfortunately this is one of those times.
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Mar 7, 2018 23:25
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fist4jesus posted:I quite often deal with telcos, corporates, callcentres. Back when I worked call centers, one place had a system that asked for your name, then announced to to the agent taking the call before putting you on the line. We were STILL required to ask your name and other info, just because it was one of the things we were graded on.
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Mar 8, 2018 01:47
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Just got back to work to find we are revisiting a old favorite of fuckhead managers everywhere. Time in motion! We are to record every single thing we do, every shift, into a excel sheet, start and end times for each item. I have about 200 emails received between shifts, I'll start by reading every single one. Every time I look something up. Recorded. Every device I connect to. Recorded. Will fill this with so much bloat that while I'll actually be doing a lot less work, they cant say poo poo about it.
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Mar 8, 2018 08:54
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That sort of contempt is exactly how bullshit requests should be fulfilled if you're not in a position to flat out say "nah gently caress that".
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Mar 8, 2018 09:03
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Don't forget to follow up every line item with another detailing the time spent filling in the spreadsheet (including the time spent filling in the spreadsheet about filling in the spreadsheet). If you want to be a huge dick, read one email then spend the entire day filling out lines for the time spent filling the previous line.
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Mar 8, 2018 09:09
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I have a callback request. This has 8 rows of entries so far. Edit: 103 lines so far. Sample quality. Found client email, replied to all. 19:39 Replied to xxx;'s email 19:39 Added email to body of the case. 19:39 Email from x about yyyyyyy 20:11 Writing a reply. 20:13 fist4jesus fucked around with this message at 13:49 on Mar 8, 2018 |
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Mar 8, 2018 09:15
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RFC2324 posted:Back when I worked call centers, one place had a system that asked for your name, then announced to to the agent taking the call before putting you on the line. We were STILL required to ask your name and other info, just because it was one of the things we were graded on. How many times did you take a call from 'gently caress you! agent! operator! agent!'
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Mar 8, 2018 09:18
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Angry Boss manage to run off the compliance guy and piss off relaxed boss in about the span of a week and got royally chewed by the CEO. He's been like a new man all week, polite, helpful, calm, adaptable, etc. He's got this major side project that is dirt simple, just a huge time sink. Today, I have some idle time on my machines and I offered to bring my labor over to help him out. 'If I wanted any help, I would have asked for it.'
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Mar 8, 2018 14:15
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dogstile posted:We did that at my last company, apparently it came from our American support manager who tried it and got "great results" in America, so therefore it should work for the EU. Just so it's clear, this would not get "great results" in America, either, and would be dumb as poo poo anywhere.
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Mar 8, 2018 14:51
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xzzy posted:Every single loving ticket produces a "how did we do??" survey a few days later. Every single one of those get ignored or filtered away with mailbox rules. If the vendor get a reputation for handling cases badly we just won't buy from them; don't need a survey for that.
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Mar 8, 2018 15:47
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I'm up to 142 entries guys and its completely worthless. Only 4.5 hours until I get to go home.
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Mar 8, 2018 16:38
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My name is Kyle and I’m part of the Google Cloud Platform (GCP) team. We recently sent you a Chromebook sleeve via FedEx as an invitation to talk with one of our specialists. We’d like to facilitate a meeting with you to better understand COMPANY_NAME’s cloud initiatives for 2018. In addition, we will also send you a Google Chromebook to allow you to have future meetings with our team via Google Hangouts. When would be a good time to schedule a Hangout meeting or phone call with you? Go away annoying Google sales droids. They sent our CEO a Chromebook so we had some meetings about HOW WE CAN USE IT. After they figured out it's just a tablet with a keyboard they lost interest. "Well what if we used it for presentations? Would it work for that?" You mean instead of the laptop you already have? We gave it a shot. Powerpoint and Word documents don't look quite the same as they do in Office, fonts, spacing, transitions, etc. So I told the google says guy we tried it out and it didn't really work out and he responded with: Thank you for reaching out. Google has made converting Microsoft documents to Google Docs seamless. Google Docs can be used from any computer and browser, including Windows, Mac OS X, Linux, etc. I'd be happy to connect you with one of our cloud specialist to discuss these specific Google products and services with you, as well as current features on Google Cloud Platform that may suit you better than before. How does a Google Hangout on Thursday, March 15th, 1:30pm EST work for you? If it does, I will send you a calendar invitation, right away. Lastly, for the purpose of a comprehensive discussion with our GCP specialist, please tell me what your current cloud structure is, along with and projects/initiatives you would like to discuss. Part of me would love to see how many free Chromebooks we can get. DUDES WANT TO GOOGLE HANGOUT SO FUCKIN BAD
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Mar 8, 2018 17:12
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fist4jesus posted:I'm up to 142 entries guys and its completely worthless. Please continue, you fill my heart with glee and joy with every update. I love fighting bullshit with bullshit.
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Mar 8, 2018 17:44
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fist4jesus posted:I'm up to 142 entries guys and its completely worthless. Hell yes, this is great.
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Mar 8, 2018 17:44
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"It's a mute point anyway" Really, then why can I hear you?
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Mar 8, 2018 17:44
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I don't think I've EVER been on a Cisco-presented WebEx that 1. started on time, and 2. wasn't filled with "technical difficulties."
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Mar 8, 2018 18:06
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Bob Morales posted:My name is Kyle and I’m part of the Google Cloud Platform (GCP) team. I used to work for a guy that would have me sit through sales pitches so he could get free swag. Towards the end there I was starting to do his CE courses for him so here's to all the knowledge but none of the certifications lol
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Mar 8, 2018 18:20
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Pissing me off: when our learning system presents users with a choice of required courses ("Complete 1 of the following 6 courses"), the system is recommending random courses. As in it is choosing an arbitrary item on the list and presenting it as "recommended" complete with highlighted banner and expedited registration UI. This is in effect recommending that janitors complete physician coursework, and vice versa. Analogy: imagine you go to the DMV to renew your driver's license, and the clerk says "Hey, we'd like to recommend that you get a boat license! Oh sure, it's not what you came in for, but why the hell not?" Vendor confirms that this is a feature and if I don't like it, I shouldn't offer users a list of courses to choose from. Edit for clarity: we don't generally offer a gigantic list to all employees, but in this case we thought this would be the easiest solution for the mandatory training everyone has to take. Because people harm themselves when they have to search for things, or at least HR says so.
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Mar 8, 2018 18:53
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The Macaroni posted:Vendor confirms that this is a feature and if I don't like it, I shouldn't offer users a list of courses to choose from. Vendor confirms they don't know what "streaming" is in education, also they don't know what customer service is.
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Mar 8, 2018 20:04
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Dunno-Lars posted:Please continue, you fill my heart with glee and joy with every update. I love fighting bullshit with bullshit. Final count 226 lines. The thing is there are only two possible reactions and I lose either way. I've played this game a few times. 1. They crack the shits. 2. They skim/scroll over it. The variable here is if they try and verify/catch me lying (which I didn't) I just step by step listed the boring poo poo I do to pay my bills. I worked a bit slower as it takes time to do this + I'm angry. Luckily its now my weekend. Hopefully it plays out while I'm off shift. I
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Mar 8, 2018 20:49
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The Macaroni posted:Analogy: imagine you go to the DMV to renew your driver's license, and the clerk says "Hey, we'd like to recommend that you get a boat license! Oh sure, it's not what you came in for, but why the hell not?" No lie, this exact thing happened to me back when I was in college. Granted, the DMV location I went to handled testing, but not renewals, and I didn't realize it at the time. The cost to take the boat test was the same as a renewal, and also renewed my license if I passed. Reviewed the boating book for 15 minutes, took the test and passed with the minimum passing score, and had my renewed license in less time than it would have taken to drive across town to the correct location, wait in line, etc. Also, I had been illegally driving family members boats for years at this point, so it made sense to get legal.
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Mar 8, 2018 21:17
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fist4jesus posted:Final count 226 lines. You are an inspiration to people everywhere
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Mar 8, 2018 23:07
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OneTruePecos posted:Just so it's clear, this would not get "great results" in America, either, and would be dumb as poo poo anywhere. Oh trust me I know, its why i quoted "great results".
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Mar 9, 2018 10:54
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Only 10% diskspace remaining on on FS1 *fire up windirstat* 19GB of Audible books in someone's folder 3.5GB of some user's family reunion photos 60GB of scanned orders going back to 2010 (we print them...then scan them???) 20GB of ping pong tournament videos from 2012
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Mar 9, 2018 20:28
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Bob Morales posted:Only 10% diskspace remaining on on FS1
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Mar 9, 2018 20:46
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Bob Morales posted:20GB of ping pong tournament videos from 2012 ...there's no way the majority of that isn't porn
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Mar 9, 2018 20:47
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Which probably still involves ping pong balls.
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Mar 9, 2018 20:48
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At a tournament in 2012
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Mar 9, 2018 21:11
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Turns out the pitching machine really doesn't eat dairy.
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Mar 9, 2018 21:18
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That's a lot of bespoke pornography
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Mar 9, 2018 21:20
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Bob Morales posted:19GB of Audible books in someone's folder Did (s)he download all of audible?
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Mar 9, 2018 21:33
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Two months of people assuming all management on a network device had crashed because they couldn't get into it. Nobody even bothered to run nmap and find the services all running, just assumed that if the default ports weren't responding then it was broken.
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Mar 9, 2018 21:46
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tactlessbastard posted:That's a lot of bespoke pornography
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Mar 9, 2018 21:46
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Bob Morales posted:20GB of ping pong tournament videos from 2012  And I'm the one that passed up a few hundred gig of Drum Corps International videos going back to the 1970s a few months back...I'll never give up the scanned Heathkit manual collection, though. (Disclaimer: everything is my own pipe and platters, not work.) Oh hey, almost forgot about all the mid-'50s televised roller derby matches...
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Mar 9, 2018 22:35
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Bob Morales posted:Only 10% diskspace remaining on on FS1 At my past MSP job we had clients that had folder redirection and some of the geniuses that set up the servers decided to make almost every profile folder redirect to the server. We'd routinely have this kind of poo poo happen because users would store movies, music and high-res photos (all non-work related) in the default Windows Downloads or Music/Videos/Pictures folders and it would bloat things up. Best thing I ever did was modify the GPO for redirection to exclude everything except Favorites, Desktop, My Docs, and maybe Pictures if it was a client that needed them for work. Saved a ton of server space and most people didn't say anything unless they had a ton of useless crap that suddenly was stored locally, and eating up disk space. And every time I'd look at it and tell them flat out, with management approval: "Your personal pictures/movies/videos aren't work related and you need to put these elsewhere. Get a flash drive or portable hard drive and back it up because if your hard drive dies, your files are toast." Never shocks me that they don't care one bit about losing work data, but those precious baby pictures or iTunes libraries were the most important, urgent thing in the world and they'd bitch up a storm. Sucks to be them but I'd deflect to their boss and they'd either back off completely or, if they did complain, would get shut down even harder by the manager 
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Mar 9, 2018 22:46
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karms posted:Did (s)he download all of audible? Some of the books are kind of big. Turns out there's 14.7GB of books and 4GB of other poo poo in the folder 
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Mar 9, 2018 22:47
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BOOTY-ADE posted:At my past MSP job we had clients that had folder redirection and some of the geniuses that set up the servers decided to make almost every profile folder redirect to the server. We'd routinely have this kind of poo poo happen because users would store movies, music and high-res photos (all non-work related) in the default Windows Downloads or Music/Videos/Pictures folders and it would bloat things up. We had this one time, a guy had some massive (at the time, this was like 2005) mapped drive because Windows Media Player ripped every CD he played. My Music went to U:\StupidGuy or something like that
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Mar 9, 2018 22:49
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A friend was working as sysasmin for local government office some yars ago. Someone, i think from IT, put a bunch of movies on a file share, and informed the users that they can watch them. He also told them they should not open them from there, but rather copy them to their own machine before watching. Some time later, they found out that the hard drive was full, and sure enough, the folser with the movies was the culprit. Inside they found: Movie1.avi Movie1(1).avi Movie1(2).avi Movie2.avi Movie2(1).avi Etc... The users would watch the movie, and then helpfully return it so that the others can watch it too. E: wiztree is great alternative to windirstat, same functionallity, but much faster.
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Mar 9, 2018 23:21
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Once, I installed a plugin that allows you to view a big data platform enumerated as a windows directory, then I pointed it to the system root and ran windirstat against a multi-exabyte store. Windirstat has its limits
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Mar 10, 2018 00:24
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