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infernal machines posted:Yes. Also you can't tow it normally because there's no way to disengage the parking brake if the system won't boot. but when youre able to boot it up again elon installed the old snake game from nokia cellphones, remember snake! aha oh elon thank you so much.
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Aug 27, 2018 06:47
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Teal posted:So what happens when the car does that as I park in an underground garage with no cellular signal of other means of getting internet to it? there's also plenty of people who live out in the country where cell service is really poo poo just enough cell service to get pinged that an update is required but not enough service to actually download the update lmao
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Aug 27, 2018 06:48
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slippery doc posted:there's also plenty of people who live out in the country where cell service is really poo poo leave it to tesla to make a car that needs dlc in order to even start
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Aug 27, 2018 06:57
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I bought 70 tesla loot crates and i still haven't unlocked the sport suspension mode
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Aug 27, 2018 06:59
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FAUXTON posted:leave it to tesla to make a car that needs dlc in order to even start why not, they already did it with battery capacity, the robot that murders you with the car, and ABS brakes on the model 3
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Aug 27, 2018 07:03
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ShriekingMarxist posted:I bought 70 tesla loot crates and i still haven't unlocked the sport suspension mode I keep getting duplicate Grimes tracks for the audio system
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Aug 27, 2018 07:03
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no, but seriously, they shipped the model 3 with brakes that performed worse than a 60s era land boat with drum brakes, and no one noticed until consumer reports published a review saying "this car will literally kill your whole family", at which point tesla went "oops" and pushed an over-the-air firmware update that re-calibrated the ABS.
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Aug 27, 2018 07:05
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infernal machines posted:why not, they already did it with battery capacity, the robot that murders you with the car, and ABS brakes on the model 3 the destiny 2 of cars lmao
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Aug 27, 2018 07:06
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you might think this is hyperbole, but it's not
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Aug 27, 2018 07:10
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FAUXTON posted:the destiny 2 of cars lmao rich doofuses are paying $80 grand for a pre alpha early access car that won't be playable until 2021
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Aug 27, 2018 07:16
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Included at no extra cost with your new Tesla:
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Aug 27, 2018 07:28
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ShriekingMarxist posted:rich doofuses are paying $80 grand for a pre alpha early access car that won't be playable until 2021 oh so it's the star citizen of cars
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Aug 27, 2018 07:34
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:Included at no extra cost with your new Tesla: each tesla includes the music video for the song "Buddy Holly" by Weezer
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Aug 27, 2018 07:34
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Unfortunately there has been an issue with the car
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Aug 27, 2018 07:37
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:Unfortunately there has been an issue with the car lol ok what in the hell is this Billy Joel Sega cd catastrophe
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Aug 27, 2018 07:40
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shiksa posted:lol ok what in the hell is this Billy Joel Sega cd catastrophe https://twitter.com/SegaCDgames/status/904359415863791616
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Aug 27, 2018 07:42
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The image was made by an account that makes fake covers of sega cd games.
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Aug 27, 2018 07:58
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Studio posted:oh so it's the star citizen of cars TerminalRaptor posted:Car Citizen
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Aug 27, 2018 08:03
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aw drat I was hoping that was real. I should know better, I follow that stupid account.
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Aug 27, 2018 08:09
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lmao
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Aug 27, 2018 08:14
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The saddest part is, two of the songs are demos for 'Sleeping with the Television On', and 'Thru The Long Night (With You)'. The only people interested in those two are completists!
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Aug 27, 2018 08:39
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i would actually want to own a tesla if that was the only problem
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Aug 27, 2018 09:40
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infernal machines posted:no, but seriously, they shipped the model 3 with brakes that performed worse than a 60s era land boat with drum brakes, and no one noticed until consumer reports published a review saying "this car will literally kill your whole family", at which point tesla went "oops" and pushed an over-the-air firmware update that re-calibrated the ABS. Tesla fans praised this as "wow look at that free OTA enhancements for your car!" instead of wondering how they ever left the factory in that condition
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Aug 27, 2018 11:44
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infernal machines posted:no, but seriously, they shipped the model 3 with brakes that performed worse than a 60s era land boat with drum brakes, and no one noticed until consumer reports published a review saying "this car will literally kill your whole family", at which point tesla went "oops" and pushed an over-the-air firmware update that re-calibrated the ABS. I like that they assume that the Consumer Reports test track in Connecticut is the problem with the car's abysmal braking distance, since the death machine performed *below average* on the Edmunds perfectly maintained race car track. Nevermind that the CR track is probably about average for an American road and represents real-world driving conditions.
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Aug 27, 2018 12:07
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Teal posted:So what happens when the car does that as I park in an underground garage with no cellular signal of other means of getting internet to it? *attaches a cell phone repeater to a very long pair of jumper leads and walks up 5 levels of ramps until it gets signal*
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Aug 27, 2018 12:35
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The tesla has a built in 3.25" floppy drive installed behind the rear driver's side strut, you can go to a desktop computer with Internet and a floppy drive and copy the firmware update onto 50-60 diskettes
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Aug 27, 2018 12:59
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i don't believe you, an anroid app these days eats up 200 megs of ram, there's no way a firmware fits on less than five figgies of floppies
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Aug 27, 2018 13:04
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Actually there's a laserdisk player under the fleece in the frunk.
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Aug 27, 2018 13:05
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Plus there's a backup punchcard system that reads off the battery packs!
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Aug 27, 2018 13:13
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elons gonna sell a thumb drive with software that lets you bypass update requirements for one day and charge 60 bucks for it
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Aug 27, 2018 13:15
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Truga posted:just thinking of guillotines is giving me wood https://teespring.com/guillotine-by-da-share-z0ne?tsmac=store&tsmic=dasharez0ne#pid=369&cid=6513&sid=front
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Aug 27, 2018 13:17
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Agean90 posted:elons gonna sell a thumb drive with software that lets you bypass update requirements for one day and charge 6000 bucks for it
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Aug 27, 2018 13:17
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Lote posted:Considering the air conditioning kills the battery, why are there a bunch of people signing up for it in Texas? The range will be so much less. It may surprise you to learn that people dumping huge amounts of money on a poorly designed status symbol don't often spend a lot of time investigating the practicality of their purchase! quote:Also, the Tesla Reddit boards are full delusional right now. All news is good news. It’s really fun to see the logic pretzels. This is good for
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Aug 27, 2018 13:19
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FAUXTON posted:the destiny 2 of cars lmao nah destiny 2 launched on time. this is a much more appropriate comparison: Studio posted:oh so it's the star citizen of cars
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Aug 27, 2018 13:26
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ShriekingMarxist posted:it's 2018 guernica lol
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Aug 27, 2018 13:27
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Shifty Pony posted:nah destiny 2 launched on time. Is there anything elon musk touches that launches on time
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Aug 27, 2018 13:28
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anime was right posted:in america its called a retrunk 
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Aug 27, 2018 13:31
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quote:car citizen
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Aug 27, 2018 13:31
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infernal machines posted:no, but seriously, they shipped the model 3 with brakes that performed worse than a 60s era land boat with drum brakes, and no one noticed until consumer reports published a review saying "this car will literally kill your whole family", at which point tesla went "oops" and pushed an over-the-air firmware update that re-calibrated the ABS. https://www.consumerreports.org/hybrids-evs/tesla-model-3-review-falls-short-of-consumer-reports-recommendation/ CR review, if anyone is curious
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Aug 27, 2018 13:34
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brake checking teslas on the highway seems like a fun game
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Aug 27, 2018 13:38
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