Randaconda posted:

Applesnots posted:

I remember reading somewhere that the correct way to eat cat is to kill it, and then wrap the body in clay and toss it in a fire. When done just break off the clay and the fur and skin come with it. It is kinda hosed up.

MariusLecter posted:

TheWolfePit - How to make Mexican Pork Tacos - Mexican Pulled Pork Tacos!-

Code Jockey posted:

red onion does give a nice kick to cat food


... or that, yeah

AlbieQuirky posted:

Like chicken, probably.

No, seriously, muskrats are omnivores and woodchucks are primarily herbivorous, so they probably taste pretty different. Plus the musk sacs have to be a factor in taste.

Okay, muskrat apparently "doesn't taste like chicken or beef", whereas woodchuck is reported to taste like rabbit or squirrel.

Imperador do Brasil posted:

A little late to this but I eat woodchuck (groundhog, whistle pig, etc) because they’re a pest on the land around here and if I’m gonna kill it I might as well eat it. It’s easy to skin them like a rabbit, and the meat is actually dark like wild rabbit but less gamy. We make it in stew and you’d be hard-pressed to think it was something other than beef.

MariusLecter posted:

TheWolfePit - How to make Mexican Pork Tacos - Mexican Pulled Pork Tacos!- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9VPAZgLM5Q



For all of you who don't like cilantro.

Elizabethan Error posted:

I think you're misspelling Carnitas there

[url]https://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/07/no-waste-tacos-de-carnitas-with-salsa-verde-recipe.html

[/url]

Iron Crowned posted:

What the hell is wrong with you people? I anyone who doesn't would these is a very broken person who cannot be saved.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Backstory: the other day I was at a Goodwill outlet store, where they sell stuff in un-sorted bins by the pound. A few fellow middle-aged women and I were sifting through carts full of books, and I piped up with "Hey, if anyone finds 'The Joy of Cooking', I lost my copy when I moved here last year. Keep an eye out? I'm sure there's gotta be one here." Sure enough, not 2 minutes later one woman holds up a battered copy and says "You were looking for this?"

Thing is, it's a 1974 edition, not the 90's one I learned to cook with. And hooooo boy, is it chock-a-block full of AFP like so:




75 cents well spent. No pictures, but boy howdy have I been enjoying casually reading this earlier edition. If anyone needs to know how to dress a woodchuck (pro-tip: remove the 7-9 sacs in the small of the back and under the forearm), I got you.

Whooping Crabs posted:

I really hope you make hamburgers out of them. Ground chuck

gleebster posted:

My copy is more recent, but it does tell how to skin a squirrel. Apparently, you carefully cut the skin down the belly, then round the neck. Then, putting your foot on its head, you pull the skin down backwards towards the tail. I have never had a need for this information, so I pass it on to the thread.

gleebster posted:

My copy is more recent, but it does tell how to skin a squirrel. Apparently, you carefully cut the skin down the belly, then round the neck. Then, putting your foot on its head, you pull the skin down backwards towards the tail. I have never had a need for this information, so I pass it on to the thread.

MariusLecter posted:

TheWolfePit - How to make Mexican Pork Tacos - Mexican Pulled Pork Tacos!- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X9VPAZgLM5Q



For all of you who don't like cilantro.

mds2 posted:

Is there a difference between a woodchuck and a muskrat?

Post the woodchuck recipe.

Pookah posted:

How odd - I was just discussing the relative difficulty of skinning US grey squirrels compared to japanese squirrels with someone yesterday.

(I haven't done either; closest I've gotten is rabbit, but I'm guessing grey squirrels would be a hell of a lot easier since they are so much bigger. )

quote:

Gray squirrels are the preferred ones; red squirrels are small and quite gamey in flavor.

quote:

Deb's Waldorf Salad
apples
oranges
bananas
mayonnaise

cut in blocks, add mayonnaise
and toss together

gleebster posted:

My copy is more recent, but it does tell how to skin a squirrel. Apparently, you carefully cut the skin down the belly, then round the neck. Then, putting your foot on its head, you pull the skin down backwards towards the tail. I have never had a need for this information, so I pass it on to the thread.

Iron Crowned posted:

What the hell is wrong with you people? I anyone who doesn't would these is a very broken person who cannot be saved.

Yawgmoth posted:

If we're sharing chili recipes now, here's what I usually do for a crock pot of chili (may or may not belong in this thread):

2ish pounds of pork ribs (bone in)
4 14.5oz cans of diced tomatoes
a head of garlic, beat to poo poo with the flat of your knife
1 red onion, diced
4 serranos, diced
3 habaneros, chopped
4 poblanos, diced
1 jar (12oz or so) of green or kalamata olives, chopped up as much as you like
~4oz achiote
garlic powder, onion powder, chipotle powder, oregano, and chile de arbol to taste, probably like 1/3c of spices in total
1 beer, something darker like a brown ale or stout

Sear off the pork ribs in whatever fat you like. Sweat the garlic/onions/peppers until they are soft, throw a little salt on them so some water comes out. Drain the brine out of the olives, toss them in at the end just so the flavors mix together a bit. Put all this into a crock pot with two of the cans of tomatoes, the achiote, and about half of the herbs & spices. Put the rack of ribs on top of this, then cover that with the rest of the herbs & spices and tomatoes. Pour the beer on top. Stick the loaded crock pot in the fridge overnight. The next morning, take it out and set it to low, put the lid just slightly off so a little liquid can cook out, and go to work. When you come home your house will smell delicious and you will have a bucket of food-style chili product.

boar guy posted:

trying this tonight minus the serranos and habaneros because my family is wussies. had to make achiote from scratch since white people grocery stores dont carry it

darthbob88 posted:

I'm hesitant on the first, because who puts cucumber on a taco? But yeah, would eat without regrets.

Bees on Wheat posted:

Never tried skinning a squirrel, but I did learn more than one way to skin a cat in college. Apparently the best method, if you want to avoid the possibility of cutting into the organs, is to make an incision down the spine, then slip your fingers under the skin and just kinda.. peel it off.

Yawgmoth posted:

Let me know how it turns out! My roommate went to Mexico City and her gift to me was a bunch of achiote and assorted spices and it has definitely upped my chili game.

ACES CURE PLANES posted:

Honestly I'd just watch RRcherrypie videos over that other one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QnDaz1VSS2E

AlbieQuirky posted:

Waldorf Salad should have grapes and walnuts in it. gently caress Deb, that heretic.

bike tory posted:

Ya isn't a Waldorf salad pretty defined by grapes and walnuts (among a couple of other things)? That's a bit like saying "here's a recipe for fish tacos" and telling someone to use pulled pork

Yawgmoth posted:

Let me know how it turns out! My roommate went to Mexico City and her gift to me was a bunch of achiote and assorted spices and it has definitely upped my chili game.

KataraniSword posted:

In the 'food fad' pile:

https://twitter.com/m0m0m023/status/1042395437896876032



(In all seriousness maybe it's just the saturation on my screen again but those eggs look depressingly overcooked.)

quote:

turnip kid posted:

Kurt Schlichter tries his hand at being 'funny':

https://townhall.com/columnists/kurtschlichter/2018/09/20/liberal-elites-are-even-ruining-hamburgers-and-they-must-be-stopped-n2520456

Liberals can’t be happy with simply ruining the lives of decent conservatives for cheap political gain. They have to ruin hamburgers, too. 

The burger is the ultimate Normal food, and horrible liberal elitists are trying to screw it up with lame alternative burgers because they are terrible. 

Let me be clear, to quote an awful ex-president: Nothing I write here is open to debate. I’m turning the epistemic closure thing back on the libs. It is impossible to disagree with my ground beef rantings, and if you do, you are racist, sexist, and a burgerphobic cisdinner hate criminal of hatred. 

Let’s clarify something else. Hamburgers are the King of American Casual Food. You can eat it in a bar, you can eat it in a car. Just don’t eat it in some trendy coastal eatery because they’ll screw it all up and you’ll end up dreaming of a Big Mac. 

Sloppy Joes are gross. They are burgers’ ne’er-do-well little brother, 35 and living in the basement nursing emotional damage because mom liked burgers better. And who wouldn’t? Sloppy Joes are orangey muck plopped onto a bun. They provide none of the firm but juicy consistency, or the satisfying interplay of extras and condiments, that make the burger nature’s perfect food. They are mere goo and are unworthy of a proud and free people. 

Naturally, artisanal Sloppy Joes are probably about to become a thing. 

Hot dogs are likewise terrible – what the hell is a hot dog anyway? With their troubling shape, unnatural smoothness, and nauseating consistency, the hot dog is a mutant entrée, a devolved sausage without flavor or purpose. You have to waste perfectly good chili – chili that should be in a bowl topped with sour cream in a just universe – just to make a hot dog taste like something. 

Even the name is unappetizing, unless you are Obama (editor's note: haha, get it...he ate a dog!???!?!). My kid says hot dogs are really tacos because of the bread V, and he makes a good point. Except tacos are tasty and hot dogs are awful. 

Eat a burger, like a man, damnit. And don’t be a Fredocon and whine about how the bun has gluten. 

Millennial elitist dorks are all about screwing up burgers. “Gourmet” burgers, they call them. But they are a sad simulacrum of true burgers, and a crime against nature. The menus of those precious gastropubs that spring up in the gentrified blue coastal urban centers are loaded with “specialty burgers” with cutesy names and inane combinations of ingredients. It’s sad. Unable to create anything of value, these goateed hipster monsters can only pervert and deform that which is pure and beautiful. A burger is simple goodness. And, as they do with everything else, liberals screw them up. 

A burger requires, at the threshold, good meat. There lies the first problem. This meat must come from a cow. But many of these dorks will try to create a sort of patty from something else, like (shiver) vegan pea protein. Note that peas are terrible, and only by putting them on a burger in place of a beef patty can these offensive soft green nuts be made worse. 


This is an abomination and if you ever encounter one, call an exorcist stat. 

But the elite can even screw up meat. Somewhere along the line, maybe when the waygu craze started, they decided that soft, tasteless beef with the consistency of wet newspaper was the bomb. You get an $18 burger (I live in LA – air costs $1 a breath) with this fancy meat, and it’s like mush. Why is it so hard to make “good meat” actually good? 

But it’s artisanal, which means overpriced and bad. “Oh, the cow was grass fed and massaged and hugged and it’s favorite band was Styx,” they’ll say, like I want to be friends with the drat Dinner Horse. I want to eat it, and I want it to taste like beef. But fancy elitist liberal beef doesn’t taste like beef. It tastes like ruined dreams and the Deep Thoughts of Kamala Harris. 

Beef. Normal beef. You can fry it on the grill or cook it over a flame – see, I totally embrace diversity – but it can’t be some weird mushpatty. Not if you want a burger instead of some pathetic charade on a bun. 

The bun. I’m open minded. You can do the traditional sesame seed style, or a potato roll. If you want to get kinky, throw it on rye for a patty melt. I will even accept a ciabatta in some cases. But a pretzel bun? What the hell is that? 

Stop doing horrible things just to try to freak out the squares. 

Cheese. Some of you eat burgers without cheese for reasons I cannot fathom. This is wrong and you are wrong. But worse than putting no cheese on your burger is putting the wrong cheese on your burger, thereby making it a wrong burger. 

American cheese is the quintessential burger cheese, and the name probably explains why liberals hate it. Cheddar is acceptable. Bleu cheese? That’s borderline – sure, I’ve tried it, but who hasn’t gone through an experimental phase? 

Swiss? Gross. Provolone? What’s wrong with you? Gruyere? Now you’re just screwing with us. 

Things to put on burgers break down into condiments and other stuff. Optional condiments include mustard and mayonnaise. Not Miracle Whip. I am not even sure what that is. Also, no Sriracha, no guacamole, no BBQ sauce. Mandatory condiments are ketchup and more ketchup. One of a hamburger’s key roles is to serve as a ketchup delivery system. There’s this one trendy place in LA that will remain nameless and patronless that serves this weird tomato fruit roll-up it calls a “ketchup leather.” They got the leather part right. The burger, which hipster doofuses rave about, tastes like an old shoe. 

Special sauce aka thousand island dressing aka ketchup + mayonnaise is an acceptable alternative to ketchup. Note that “ketchup” does not include “catsup” or grody Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s “organic” ketchup. The only good ketchup is mass-produced stuff you buy in a regular supermarket where they don’t sell kale. 

Other stuff. Bacon? Not my scene but I won’t judge. Lettuce? Eh? Take it or leave it. Tomatoes? Yes. Pickles? Yes. Onions? Yes, grilled, fresh, or – if you are awesome – both. But nothing weird. No “tomato jam” or “onion chow-chow.” 

It’s not hard. Don’t be weird for the sake of being weird and you’ll have a decent burger. Start messing with something that works and you get Obamacare. 

Look. They’ve taken Hollywood. They’ve taken the media. They’ve taken the college campuses. And they’ve messed them all up. We can’t give up burgers, too. 

My upcoming book Militant Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our Democracy contains no burger recipes, because normal people don’t need burger recipes. Normals take meat, throw it on a grill, put it on a bun, put some stuff on it, and eat it like the heroes they are. 

And liberals? They screw up everything they touch. The arts. Academia. Dinner. 

So, confirm your normality by rejecting burger mutations. And confirm Kavanaugh, too.

The Bloop posted:

it looks like it smells good haha

MariusLecter posted:

Yea, that's what I wanna see. Someone with a index finger condom doing it the right way.

ACES CURE PLANES posted:

Hey, they're a great couple who do cute food things and cute plush things, don't give them flak, they're cool.

Zipperelli. posted:

Cross-Posted from the Right-Wing Media thread:

quote:

Liberals can’t be happy with simply ruining the lives of decent conservatives for cheap political gain. They have to ruin hamburgers, too. 

The burger is the ultimate Normal food, and horrible liberal elitists are trying to screw it up with lame alternative burgers because they are terrible. 

Let me be clear, to quote an awful ex-president: Nothing I write here is open to debate. I’m turning the epistemic closure thing back on the libs. It is impossible to disagree with my ground beef rantings, and if you do, you are racist, sexist, and a burgerphobic cisdinner hate criminal of hatred. 

Let’s clarify something else. Hamburgers are the King of American Casual Food. You can eat it in a bar, you can eat it in a car. Just don’t eat it in some trendy coastal eatery because they’ll screw it all up and you’ll end up dreaming of a Big Mac. 

Sloppy Joes are gross. They are burgers’ ne’er-do-well little brother, 35 and living in the basement nursing emotional damage because mom liked burgers better. And who wouldn’t? Sloppy Joes are orangey muck plopped onto a bun. They provide none of the firm but juicy consistency, or the satisfying interplay of extras and condiments, that make the burger nature’s perfect food. They are mere goo and are unworthy of a proud and free people. 

Naturally, artisanal Sloppy Joes are probably about to become a thing. 

Hot dogs are likewise terrible – what the hell is a hot dog anyway? With their troubling shape, unnatural smoothness, and nauseating consistency, the hot dog is a mutant entrée, a devolved sausage without flavor or purpose. You have to waste perfectly good chili – chili that should be in a bowl topped with sour cream in a just universe – just to make a hot dog taste like something. 

Even the name is unappetizing, unless you are Obama (editor's note: haha, get it...he ate a dog!???!?!). My kid says hot dogs are really tacos because of the bread V, and he makes a good point. Except tacos are tasty and hot dogs are awful. 

Eat a burger, like a man, damnit. And don’t be a Fredocon and whine about how the bun has gluten. 

Millennial elitist dorks are all about screwing up burgers. “Gourmet” burgers, they call them. But they are a sad simulacrum of true burgers, and a crime against nature. The menus of those precious gastropubs that spring up in the gentrified blue coastal urban centers are loaded with “specialty burgers” with cutesy names and inane combinations of ingredients. It’s sad. Unable to create anything of value, these goateed hipster monsters can only pervert and deform that which is pure and beautiful. A burger is simple goodness. And, as they do with everything else, liberals screw them up. 

A burger requires, at the threshold, good meat. There lies the first problem. This meat must come from a cow. But many of these dorks will try to create a sort of patty from something else, like (shiver) vegan pea protein. Note that peas are terrible, and only by putting them on a burger in place of a beef patty can these offensive soft green nuts be made worse. 


This is an abomination and if you ever encounter one, call an exorcist stat. 

But the elite can even screw up meat. Somewhere along the line, maybe when the waygu craze started, they decided that soft, tasteless beef with the consistency of wet newspaper was the bomb. You get an $18 burger (I live in LA – air costs $1 a breath) with this fancy meat, and it’s like mush. Why is it so hard to make “good meat” actually good? 

But it’s artisanal, which means overpriced and bad. “Oh, the cow was grass fed and massaged and hugged and it’s favorite band was Styx,” they’ll say, like I want to be friends with the drat Dinner Horse. I want to eat it, and I want it to taste like beef. But fancy elitist liberal beef doesn’t taste like beef. It tastes like ruined dreams and the Deep Thoughts of Kamala Harris. 

Beef. Normal beef. You can fry it on the grill or cook it over a flame – see, I totally embrace diversity – but it can’t be some weird mushpatty. Not if you want a burger instead of some pathetic charade on a bun. 

The bun. I’m open minded. You can do the traditional sesame seed style, or a potato roll. If you want to get kinky, throw it on rye for a patty melt. I will even accept a ciabatta in some cases. But a pretzel bun? What the hell is that? 

Stop doing horrible things just to try to freak out the squares. 

Cheese. Some of you eat burgers without cheese for reasons I cannot fathom. This is wrong and you are wrong. But worse than putting no cheese on your burger is putting the wrong cheese on your burger, thereby making it a wrong burger. 

American cheese is the quintessential burger cheese, and the name probably explains why liberals hate it. Cheddar is acceptable. Bleu cheese? That’s borderline – sure, I’ve tried it, but who hasn’t gone through an experimental phase? 

Swiss? Gross. Provolone? What’s wrong with you? Gruyere? Now you’re just screwing with us. 

Things to put on burgers break down into condiments and other stuff. Optional condiments include mustard and mayonnaise. Not Miracle Whip. I am not even sure what that is. Also, no Sriracha, no guacamole, no BBQ sauce. Mandatory condiments are ketchup and more ketchup. One of a hamburger’s key roles is to serve as a ketchup delivery system. There’s this one trendy place in LA that will remain nameless and patronless that serves this weird tomato fruit roll-up it calls a “ketchup leather.” They got the leather part right. The burger, which hipster doofuses rave about, tastes like an old shoe. 

Special sauce aka thousand island dressing aka ketchup + mayonnaise is an acceptable alternative to ketchup. Note that “ketchup” does not include “catsup” or grody Whole Foods/Trader Joe’s “organic” ketchup. The only good ketchup is mass-produced stuff you buy in a regular supermarket where they don’t sell kale. 

Other stuff. Bacon? Not my scene but I won’t judge. Lettuce? Eh? Take it or leave it. Tomatoes? Yes. Pickles? Yes. Onions? Yes, grilled, fresh, or – if you are awesome – both. But nothing weird. No “tomato jam” or “onion chow-chow.” 

It’s not hard. Don’t be weird for the sake of being weird and you’ll have a decent burger. Start messing with something that works and you get Obamacare. 

Look. They’ve taken Hollywood. They’ve taken the media. They’ve taken the college campuses. And they’ve messed them all up. We can’t give up burgers, too. 

My upcoming book Militant Normals: How Regular Americans Are Rebelling Against the Elite to Reclaim Our Democracy contains no burger recipes, because normal people don’t need burger recipes. Normals take meat, throw it on a grill, put it on a bun, put some stuff on it, and eat it like the heroes they are. 

And liberals? They screw up everything they touch. The arts. Academia. Dinner. 

So, confirm your normality by rejecting burger mutations. And confirm Kavanaugh, too.

Just eat the drat burg my man.