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Acute Grill
Dec 9, 2011

Chomp

Edgar Allen Ho posted:

Is the unkillable Rasputin story confirmable/true?

I really want it to be

We'll never really know for sure. Though apparently the examiner didn't actually find any poison in his system so if I had to guess, it was a botched poisoning (either the poison was too degraded to work or he refused to eat it) and so they just shot him and the story grew with each retelling.

The popular story that the final cause of death was actually drowning is a complete fabrication though.

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Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

Nessus posted:

They largely disproved that one.

Well! That's a nice thing to have read this morning.

drrockso20
May 6, 2013

Has Not Actually Done Cocaine
It's a shame no one picked up on the Boney M reference I used

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

Acute Grill posted:

We'll never really know for sure. Though apparently the examiner didn't actually find any poison in his system so if I had to guess, it was a botched poisoning (either the poison was too degraded to work or he refused to eat it) and so they just shot him and the story grew with each retelling.

The popular story that the final cause of death was actually drowning is a complete fabrication though.

The drowning in the river bit was so the orthodox church or whatever couldn't beattify him

Nth Doctor
Sep 7, 2010

Darkrai used Dream Eater!
It's super effective!


syscall girl posted:

The drowning in the river bit was so the orthodox church or whatever couldn't beattify him

Why?

Ellie Crabcakes
Feb 1, 2008

Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

drrockso20 posted:

It's a shame no one picked up on the Boney M reference I used
It is a shame how you carry on.

Phy
Jun 27, 2008



Fun Shoe

drrockso20 posted:

It's a shame no one picked up on the Boney M reference I used

I refuse to acknowledge boney m ever since I saw that docudrama about the guy stranded on the mountain who hallucinated "Brown Girl In The Ring" for hours on end

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

Today we'll be looking at a delightful example of Baroque exaggeration in storytelling which also doubles as an early example of tourist advertising. It's a complete fabrication of course (and even back then I'm 100% certain that even the most gullible peasant would look right through it), but it's still or even because of that just fun to read. I love how it becomes more and more absurd with each paragraph :v:



The text accompanying the picture (my translation) posted:

Truthful Description
Of a big double bass in Breslau in Silesia
Which two knights of the Order of Malta had built as a memorial to their happy return from the Island of Malta

Firstly, the mentioned double bass is 37 ells [hard to say, probably somewhere between 25 and 30 metres] long, but 150 and a half ells, two quarters and five sixteenth [about 106 metres maybe] wide.

2. It took 405,660 wooden boards, the nut alone accounting for 34,020 boards.

3. 100 luthiers and 147 carpenters worked nine years on it, and it only got finished in this year 1674.

4. Every screw consists out of 240 large oak trees.

5. The bow consists of 480 large larks.

6. For the bowstring they took tails of 20,000 horses, and 200 weavers worked two years to weave them together.

7. For the glue keeping the double bass together they took the horns of 800,000 Hungarian oxen, and two hundred people worked three years to turn them into glue in large pans. 40 people weren't careful, fell into the glue pans and died.

8. In order to tune the instrument it takes 500 men with enormously large machines as it should be obvious that it can't be tuned by hand.

9. For the very smallest of the strings it took the guts of 40,798 sheep. Concerning the other strings (it is a seven-stringed instrument) words don't suffice.

10. This double bass is shown only thrice a year, namely on Easter, Whitsun and Christmas. The reason is that, once played, the sound echoes on for so long that it can't be played more often.

11. It needs 680 people to move the bow.

12. In order to keep the bow well oiled, you need 800 zentner [roughly 880,000 lbs.] of rosin, and 80 people need to grease the bow day and night between the three feasts.

13. In this year 1674 on Easter, the double bass was played for the very first time. The smallest of its strings broke and killed 388 men.

14. While words cannot suffice to describe the depth of this double bass, it still happened that a cheeky tailor (who are much too curious, as everyone knows) climbed upon the bass and, while looking at everything and in particular at one of the holes in the wood, got vertigo, lost his footing and fell into the hole. He fell for two days before hitting the ground, which easily shows how deep the instrument is. How he managed to get out or how he was taken out of the instrument will be recounted shortly.

15. After the first string broke, it got renewed and retuned, after which the bass finally was properly played on for the first time. It produced such a mighty sound that the spire of St Elisabeth's which is 50 klafter [=90 metres] tall collapsed, but nobody was harmed except for one donkey. The sound was so loud that 499 people became deaf.

16. To sum it up: This double bass was so large that two men on horses needed 28 weeks, three days and five minutes in order to ride around the instrument once.

Nothing like this wonder has ever been seen, and regarding the huge amount of effort it took to build it, every lover of curiosities and the arts should go to Breslau, where not only they will be shown this piece of art, but they will also get a mug of beer brewed in Breslau, and everywhere they come to people will love hearing their stories about this wondrous double bass.

e: Make sure to also take a good look at the picture, it's wonderful, from the people being hurled through the air by the broken string to the church spire collapsing in the background, it's all there! :allears:

System Metternich has a new favorite as of 20:29 on Sep 27, 2018

Ariong
Jun 25, 2012



How deep would a hole actually have to be for someone to take two days to hit the bottom? Also, it’s weird that they were willing to say that the thing killed 388 men the first time they tried to play it but not the guy who fell in.

Trabant
Nov 26, 2011

All systems nominal.
I'm mostly impressed by the fact that multiple people here have heard of / remember Boney M.

syscall girl
Nov 7, 2009

by FactsAreUseless
Fun Shoe

https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=75431

IDK

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

Ariong posted:

How deep would a hole actually have to be for someone to take two days to hit the bottom? Also, it’s weird that they were willing to say that the thing killed 388 men the first time they tried to play it but not the guy who fell in.

If we take "two days" to mean 48 hours and assume that the tailor tried to maximise air friction during that time (i.e. falling like a parachutist) the hole would need to be about 9,500 kilometres deep if my math is correct. If he simply tumbled down it might easily be double that.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Ariong posted:

How deep would a hole actually have to be for someone to take two days to hit the bottom? Also, it’s weird that they were willing to say that the thing killed 388 men the first time they tried to play it but not the guy who fell in.

Doing some napkin calculations, terminal velocity for an average man is around 53 meters per second, or 122 MPH. After reaching terminal velocity, it would take a hole about 5,856 miles deep. The deepest hole ever drilled by man, the Kola Superdeep Borehole, is 7.5 miles. The diameter of the Earth is 7,917.5 miles, so that would be a hole most of the way to the other side of the planet.

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat
That's a big bass then, strange people don't talk about it more often.

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe

chitoryu12 posted:

Doing some napkin calculations, terminal velocity for an average man is around 53 meters per second, or 122 MPH. After reaching terminal velocity, it would take a hole about 5,856 miles deep. The deepest hole ever drilled by man, the Kola Superdeep Borehole, is 7.5 miles. The diameter of the Earth is 7,917.5 miles, so that would be a hole most of the way to the other side of the planet.

One of the many problems with this is that once you pass the center of the Earth, gravity will start decelerating you instead of accelerating. So really all you need is a pit that's slightly more than the radius of the Earth! :v:

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

chitoryu12 posted:

Doing some napkin calculations, terminal velocity for an average man is around 53 meters per second, or 122 MPH. After reaching terminal velocity, it would take a hole about 5,856 miles deep. The deepest hole ever drilled by man, the Kola Superdeep Borehole, is 7.5 miles. The diameter of the Earth is 7,917.5 miles, so that would be a hole most of the way to the other side of the planet.



Pictured: The famous Double Bass of Breslau (1674, colorised)

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

One of the many problems with this is that once you pass the center of the Earth, gravity will start decelerating you instead of accelerating. So really all you need is a pit that's slightly more than the radius of the Earth! :v:

Air will get THICC near the bottom of the hole. It would take less than the radius, easily.

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

quote:

2. It took 405,660 wooden boards, the nut alone accounting for 34,020 boards.

drat, us modern folk with our kinks are dilettantes.

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Bobby Digital posted:

drat, us modern folk with our kinks are dilettantes.

Ezekiel 23:20

EmptyVessel
Oct 30, 2012

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Yeah, probably a horse’s.

They burned Rasputin’s body pretty quickly after his death, I doubt preserving his dick was a priority.

Ah, probably mislabeled then, that dick belonged to Catherines friend not Alexandras.

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

Ariong posted:

How deep would a hole actually have to be for someone to take two days to hit the bottom?

I'm no "holeatician" or anything, but a falling human is travelling 195km/h so a hole roughly 9,360km deep.

Chillbro Baggins
Oct 8, 2004
Bad Angus! Bad!
Gene Kranz never actually said "Failure is not an option," though that was the title of his autobiography. The phrase was from the movie Apollo 13, distilling this to a one-liner:

"Spaceflight will never tolerate carelessness, incapacity, and neglect. Somewhere, somehow, we screwed up. It could have been in design, build, or test. Whatever it was, we should have caught it.
We were too gung ho about the schedule and we locked out all of the problems we saw each day in our work. Every element of the program was in trouble and so were we. The simulators were not working, Mission Control was behind in virtually every area, and the flight and test procedures changed daily. Nothing we did had any shelf life. Not one of us stood up and said, "Dammit, stop!"
I don't know what Thompson's committee will find as the cause, but I know what I find. We are the cause! We were not ready! We did not do our job. We were rolling the dice, hoping that things would come together by launch day, when in our hearts we knew it would take a miracle. We were pushing the schedule and betting that the Cape would slip before we did.
From this day forward, Flight Control will be known by two words: "Tough and Competent." Tough means we are forever accountable for what we do or what we fail to do. We will never again compromise our responsibilities. Every time we walk into Mission Control we will know what we stand for. "

After the Apollo 1 fire.

Apparently Kranz was in Mission Control (as manager of the ground side of NASA) when STS-51-L had its RUD incident, I hope he slapped Flight upside the head for it, or at least cussed him out. I'm hoping it went like: "Bitch, I put six men on the moon, and saved the crew that had a problem. You launched against the engineers' objections, and killed seven people. Remember that thing I said 16 years ago?"

Ommin
Apr 5, 2006
I like to watch CinemaSins and Honest Trailers for all the movies I'm curious about but don't want to watch. It's like Cliff's Notes with commentary notes to use in conversation to "prove you watched it."

chitoryu12 posted:

Doing some napkin calculations, terminal velocity for an average man is around 53 meters per second, or 122 MPH. After reaching terminal velocity, it would take a hole about 5,856 miles deep. The deepest hole ever drilled by man, the Kola Superdeep Borehole, is 7.5 miles. The diameter of the Earth is 7,917.5 miles, so that would be a hole most of the way to the other side of the planet.

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

One of the many problems with this is that once you pass the center of the Earth, gravity will start decelerating you instead of accelerating. So really all you need is a pit that's slightly more than the radius of the Earth! :v:

This is why I speculate that the inside of the bass was actually an extra-dimensional space. It's the only thing that can explain falling for 2 days without sounding ridiculous.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Ommin posted:

This is why I speculate that the inside of the bass was actually an extra-dimensional space. It's the only thing that can explain falling for 2 days without sounding ridiculous.

my peer review: this checks out. publish that sucker

Necrothatcher
Mar 26, 2005




chitoryu12 posted:

The deepest hole ever drilled by man, the Kola Superdeep Borehole, is 7.5 miles.

I love that this is the building that the deepest hole on earth is housed in:



And this is the cap on the hole itself:

Necrothatcher has a new favorite as of 12:19 on Sep 28, 2018

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

Necrothatcher posted:

And this is the cap on the hole itself:



That doesn't look like it'll keep all those demons they heard down there in. :ohdear:

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Necrothatcher posted:

I love that this is the building that the deepest hole on earth is housed in:



You should really find a nicer home for your mom

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

Wheat Loaf posted:

That doesn't look like it'll keep all those demons they heard down there in. :ohdear:

Fool, don't you see that the cap is adorned with twelve screws? Twelve as the number of tribes of Israel, of the sacred Apostels of Our Lord, of the gems adorning the breastplate of the Hebrew high priest, of the Lord's holy angels protecting the heavenly Jerusalem, of the stars Our Most Blessed Lady wears as Her crown, twelve as in the Holy Trinity extending its grace and protection into all four corners of the world. There is obviously a most powerful blessing laid on this cap, and the demons of Hell shall not prevail against it.

The_Raven
Jul 2, 2004

Upon this a question arises: whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved?

Trabant posted:

I'm mostly impressed by the fact that multiple people here have heard of / remember Boney M.

Without Boney M, there would be no Milli Vanilli.

Wheat Loaf
Feb 13, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

The_Raven posted:

Without Boney M, there would be no Milli Vanilli.

Worse, there would be no Far Corporation!

BravestOfTheLamps
Oct 12, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Lipstick Apathy

Krankenstyle posted:

You should really find a nicer home for your mom

:vince:

Solice Kirsk
Jun 1, 2004

.

System Metternich posted:

Fool, don't you see that the cap is adorned with twelve screws? Twelve as the number of tribes of Israel, of the sacred Apostels of Our Lord, of the gems adorning the breastplate of the Hebrew high priest, of the Lord's holy angels protecting the heavenly Jerusalem, of the stars Our Most Blessed Lady wears as Her crown, twelve as in the Holy Trinity extending its grace and protection into all four corners of the world. There is obviously a most powerful blessing laid on this cap, and the demons of Hell shall not prevail against it.

But what if they have a wrench?

The_White_Crane
May 10, 2008

Solice Kirsk posted:

But what if they have a wrench?

The bolts are on the outside. :downs:

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

I spent four years making
Waves of Steel
Hell yes I'm going to turn my avatar into an ad for it.
Fun Shoe

System Metternich posted:

Fool, don't you see that the cap is adorned with twelve screws? Twelve as the number of tribes of Israel, of the sacred Apostels of Our Lord, of the gems adorning the breastplate of the Hebrew high priest, of the Lord's holy angels protecting the heavenly Jerusalem, of the stars Our Most Blessed Lady wears as Her crown, twelve as in the Holy Trinity extending its grace and protection into all four corners of the world. There is obviously a most powerful blessing laid on this cap, and the demons of Hell shall not prevail against it.

It honestly would not surprise me if the Russian Orthodox Church had blessed that cap. They bless all kinds of things.

venus de lmao
Apr 30, 2007

Call me "pixeltits"

TooMuchAbstraction posted:

It honestly would not surprise me if the Russian Orthodox Church had blessed that cap. They bless all kinds of things.

Can't hurt, right? Either there are no demons and nothing is lost, or there are, and they're held at bay. I doubt blessings are terribly resource-intensive.

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?


I'm gonna go unbolt the cap

Brute Hole Force
Dec 25, 2005

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
But will you poo poo in the hole?

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Tony Snark posted:

But will you poo poo in the hole?

C'mon man that's just rude

AgentF
May 11, 2009
It will be the deepest poo poo that has ever been taken. This would be a milestone for humanity worthy of publicising.

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HairyManling
Jul 20, 2011

No flipping.
Fun Shoe
Serious question: Why did they even need to cap the borehole? It’s not very wide, right? It’s not like someone was going to fall down it.

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