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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 3, 2024 01:54
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- Sponge Baathist
- Jan 30, 2010
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by FactsAreUseless
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baby don't hurt me no more
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Nov 15, 2018 09:10
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- olives black
- Nov 24, 2017
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LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.
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https://youtu.be/4V4IEV8l-gA
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 09:17
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- The Dennis System
- Aug 4, 2014
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Nothing in Jurassic World is natural, we have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different. But you didn't ask for reality, you asked for more teeth.
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babby don't hurt me
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 11:13
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- jimmyjams
- Jan 10, 2001
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King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 12:58
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- Grevling
- Dec 18, 2016
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I don't know why you're not fair
I give you my love, but you don't care
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 13:17
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- jimmyjams
- Jan 10, 2001
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King Kong of Megadongs
Gobblin' them mega schlongs
Makin' sure they mega long
Stroke' 'em if they mega strong
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when u nutted. but she still suckin
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 13:45
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- Nude
- Nov 16, 2014
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I have no idea what I'm doing.
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A miserable little pile of secretions!
A miserable little pile of secrets works too.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 13:50
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- olives black
- Nov 24, 2017
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LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.
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when u nutted. but she still suckin
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 13:50
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- Waltzing Along
- Jun 14, 2008
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There's only one
Human race
Many faces
Everybody belongs here
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You'll never know, OP. You'll never know.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 14:59
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- opie
- Nov 28, 2000
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Check out my TFLC Excuse Log!
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A neural chemical con job
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 15:51
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- Thin Privilege
- Jul 8, 2009
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IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
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Gravy Boat 2k
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A neural chemical con job
Yeah this.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 15:56
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- Iron Crowned
- May 6, 2003
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by Hand Knit
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big rear end titties
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 16:12
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- bring back old gbs
- Feb 28, 2007
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by LITERALLY AN ADMIN
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Sound of sweaty flabs of flesh slapping in the dark followed by a weird smell
yea no windows room stink
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 17:02
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- squid pro quo
- Nov 11, 2018
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Hit me baby one more time
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 17:07
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- spinderella
- Jul 15, 2017
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by FactsAreUseless
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The best thing on Earth, that's all
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 17:10
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- Literally A Person
- Jan 1, 1970
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Smugworth Wuz Here
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Love is for lovers.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 17:49
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- Literally A Person
- Jan 1, 1970
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Smugworth Wuz Here
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Like Virginia.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 17:49
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- squid pro quo
- Nov 11, 2018
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It’s a many splendored thing
But also a battlefield
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 18:04
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- Grevling
- Dec 18, 2016
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It’s a many splendored thing
But also a battlefield
It's also all you need.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 18:21
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- Literally A Person
- Jan 1, 1970
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Smugworth Wuz Here
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Love is finally agreeing to let your partner pee on your chest prior to sexual intercourse.
That is loving love.
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 20:17
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- fartinlewis
- Mar 1, 2016
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I love carpet, I love desk, I love lamp
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 21:09
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- Hairy Right Hook
- Sep 9, 2001
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Hee to the ho
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It's in the air OP
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#
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Nov 15, 2018 21:38
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- Coolness Averted
- Feb 20, 2007
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oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA
GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗
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like a truck
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 00:49
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- Coolness Averted
- Feb 20, 2007
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oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA
GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗
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BERSERKER
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 00:49
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- Literally A Person
- Jan 1, 1970
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Smugworth Wuz Here
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Love is when the sex sounds like the boots of a pair of chest-waders walking through a marsh and you're all like, "gently caress YEAH!"
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 00:55
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- snickothemule
- Jul 11, 2016
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wretched single ply might as well use my socks
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incel repellent
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 01:12
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- numberoneposter
- Feb 19, 2014
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How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!
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I love you Mayor McCheese
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 01:21
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- Obsidianheart
- Apr 26, 2017
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Throwing off the shadow of a better man.
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It's always over in the morning.
Black wind come carry me far away
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 01:50
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- Zamboni Rodeo
- Jul 19, 2007
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NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!
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Well, since you asked:
JCaesar posted:
gently caress all the pop song puppy love bullshit. Your heart skipping a beat isn't love, it's cardiac arrhythmia. It's not about shortness of breath, either, or how turned on you get or whether you tell yourself you'd throw yourself in front of a bus for her or whatever. You can convince yourself of a lot about how you feel and what you would do in exchange for regular oral sex.
Love is when she drives you insane sometimes. And I don't mean merely "aggravating" or "annoying," I mean flat-out loving in. Sane. And in a way nobody else can do it in a million years. She'll drive you to the point where you'd gouge out your own eyeball with a melon baller or smack your scrotum a half-dozen times with a ball peen hammer if it means you can be done with this conversation. She'll make you want to chew your own arm off to get out of talking about this. And I don't care how many loving times you've had this conversation, each time, you know you'll have it again:
Her: I thought you turned the heat on.
You: I did.
Her: Well, I'm still cold. Are you sure you did it right?
You: Yes, I'm pretty sure I know how to turn on a thermostat.
Her: 'Cause you know you have to flip the switch to "heat" and....
You: Honey! I know! How to turn on! A thermostat! I went to college for it and everything.
Her: Well, I don't feel any heat blowing in here.
You: I know. I think you broke the thermostat again.
Her: I didn't break it.
You: Yes, you did, you put that halogen lamp right next to it again.
Her: That doesn't do anything.
You: Yes, it does.
Her: I thought you fixed it?
You: I did fix it, and you broke it again.
Her: Are you sure you fixed it right?
You: Yes, goddammit, I fixed it right.
Her: How do you know you fixed it?
You: 'Cause it worked when I fixed it!
Her: Well, it's not working now.
You: 'Cause you broke it again!
Her: How'd I break it?
You: You put the goddamn, loving lamp next to it!
Her: I don't see why a lamp would break a thermostat.
You: OK. I'm going to explain this. One more time. Slowly. Thermostats have a coil inside them that expands and contracts based on the temperature. This is how they know when it is hotter than the setting of the A/C, so it can cool the room off, or colder than the setting of the heating, so it can heat the room up. Halogen lamps generate heat. Halogen lamps generate a lot of heat. That's why you burn your fingers when you touch the bulbs after they've been on for a while. So when you put a halogen lamp next to a thermostat, it causes the coil to keep expanding and expanding and expanding past the point it's intended to expand. This makes the thermostat think it's really, really hot all the time, and it makes the coil less sensitive in the future, and it'll eventually break the coil so I'll have to replace the thermostat.
Her: That doesn't sound right.
You: Trust me. It's right.
Her: How do you know?
You: BECAUSE I TOOK SIXTH GRADE loving PHYSICS, OK?!
Her: Well, I don't think they should make thermostats that can be broken by something little like a lamp.
You: Fine. Don't think that. Write a letter to the manufacturers. Write a letter to universities and tell them to build a better thermostat. I don't loving care. But that's how they make them. That's why I keep moving the lamp, that's why I keep telling you not to put it back to the right of the bookcase, that's why I've had to fix the thermostat four loving times now. Stop! Putting! The lamp! Right! Next! To the thermostat!
Her: But on the other side of the bookcase, the front of the hallway is dark, and I can't see inside my gift closet.
You: Well, you can turn on the hall light to go through your gift closet, or you can sit here and be cold! Your choice, honey!
Her:
You:
Her:
You:
Her: I don't think you fixed the thermostat right.
You: GOD-MOTHERFUCKING-DAMMIT, I'M GOING TO FIX THAT MOTHERFUCKING THERMOSTAT TOMORROW, AND I SWEAR TO MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST IF YOU PUT THE LAMP NEAR THE THERMOSTAT AGAIN, I WILL SMASH IT TO A MILLION loving PIECES AND SHOVE THEM DOWN YOUR GODDAMN THROAT!!! MOTHERFUCK ME, JESUS!!!!!!
And if the seventh time you have that conversation, knowing full well there will be an eighth time, you'd still rather have that conversation again than imagine a world she's not in, you're in love.
Especially if you do fix that thermostat... again... the next day, and not just so she'll shut up about it, but because you really don't want her to be cold anymore.
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 02:29
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- Zeluth
- May 12, 2001
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by Fluffdaddy
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A breakthrough internet communication device.
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#
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Nov 16, 2018 03:24
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 3, 2024 01:54
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