QuoProQuid posted:

- justin ii: had his servants build a throne with wheels. as contemporary accounts put it, "having placed him on [the throne], his chamberlains drew him about, and ran with him backwards and forwards for a long time, while he, in delight and admiration at their speed, desisted from many of his absurdities."

As Nero Danced posted:

Nero. Cause if poo poo's going to go wrong, it should at least be entertaining.

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All day long, oh penis, you ejaculate as if you have blood inside you, and then you hang like a damp reed.

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A …… lost his shoes. The man who found them said: "Where shall I take them? …… for me?"

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I was a youth -- now my personal god, and access to my protective deity, and my youthful vigour have all left my loins, like a run-away donkey. My black mountain has sprouted white gypsum. My mother …… from the forest …… has given me paralysed hands. My mongoose, which used to eat strong-smelling butter, can no longer stretch its neck even towards a jar of ghee.

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

Ill also accept Eastern Roman/Byzantine emperors or even Mehmed II if you want

Jose posted:

would caligula even be much of a weird pervert these days with the internet around

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

anime was punishable by death under the Roman Empire

quote:

By 221 Elagabalus' eccentricities, particularly his relationship with Hierocles,[40] increasingly provoked the soldiers of the Praetorian Guard.[38] When Elagabalus' grandmother Julia Maesa perceived that popular support for the emperor was waning, she decided that he and his mother, who had encouraged his religious practices, had to be replaced.[38] As alternatives, she turned to her other daughter, Julia Avita Mamaea, and her daughter's son, the fifteen-year-old Severus Alexander.[38]

Prevailing on Elagabalus, she arranged that he appoint his cousin Alexander as his heir and that the boy be given the title of Caesar. Alexander shared the consulship with the emperor that year.[38] However, Elagabalus reconsidered this arrangement when he began to suspect that the Praetorian Guard preferred his cousin to himself.[59]

Following the failure of various attempts on Alexander's life, Elagabalus stripped his cousin of his titles, revoked his consulship, and invented the rumor that Alexander was near death, in order to see how the Praetorians would react.[59] A riot ensued, and the Guard demanded to see Elagabalus and Alexander in the Praetorian camp.

He made an attempt to flee, and would have got away somewhere by being placed in a chest had he not been discovered and slain, at the age of eighteen. His mother, who embraced him and clung tightly to him, perished with him; their heads were cut off and their bodies, after being stripped naked, were first dragged all over the city, and then the mother's body was cast aside somewhere or other, while his was thrown into the [Tiber].

Stark Fist posted:

Nero, the Charlie Daniels of Rome

webmeister posted:

Sulla

Pistol_Pete posted:

Why has nobody mentioned the last pagan emperor, Julian the Apostate yet? He was totally down on the Christians and promptly set about reviving pagan worship when he became emperor. If he'd not died a couple of years into his reign, we'd probably have our cities filled with cool temples of Hermes and Jupiter and Mithras and stuff instead of dull boring churches. Also Gore Vidal wrote a pretty good book about him.

Jack-Off Lantern posted:

Blindfired, even. Maybe friendly, but it ended Roman Paganism pretty conclusively

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

BravestOfTheLamps posted:

Charles V

webmeister posted:

Sulla

Vernii posted:

Commodus got mentioned earlier for his love of beating cripples to death, but was just a facet of his insane reign. The guy decided he was the son of Jupiter and went on a spree of renaming everything after himself. The city and people of Rome, the months of the year, the fleet, army, and senate, all got renamed after Commodus. Unsurprisingly he got murdered shortly afterward. His portrayal in Gladiator makes him look surprisingly sane in comparison to reality.

" Innumerable statues around the empire were set up portraying him in the guise of Hercules, reinforcing the image of him as a demigod, a physical giant, a protector, and a battler against beasts and men. Moreover, as Hercules, he could claim to be the son of Jupiter, the supreme god of the Roman pantheon. These tendencies now increased to megalomaniacal proportions. Far from celebrating his descent from Marcus Aurelius, the actual source of his power, he stressed his own personal uniqueness as the bringer of a new order, seeking to re-cast the empire in his own image.

During 191, the city of Rome was extensively damaged by a fire that raged for several days, during which many public buildings including the Temple of Pax, the Temple of Vesta, and parts of the imperial palace were destroyed.

Perhaps seeing this as an opportunity, early in 192 Commodus, declaring himself the new Romulus, ritually re-founded Rome, renaming the city Colonia Lucia Annia Commodiana. All the months of the year were renamed to correspond exactly with his (now twelve) names: Lucius, Aelius, Aurelius, Commodus, Augustus, Herculeus, Romanus, Exsuperatorius, Amazonius, Invictus, Felix, and Pius. The legions were renamed Commodianae, the fleet which imported grain from Africa was termed Alexandria Commodiana Togata, the Senate was entitled the Commodian Fortunate Senate, his palace and the Roman people themselves were all given the name Commodianus, and the day on which these reforms were decreed was to be called Dies Commodianus.

Thus, he presented himself as the fountainhead of the Empire, Roman life, and religion. He also had the head of the Colossus of Nero adjacent to the Colosseum replaced with his own portrait, gave it a club, and placed a bronze lion at its feet to make it look like Hercules Romanus, and added an inscription boasting of being "the only left-handed fighter to conquer twelve times one thousand men"."

Mooey Cow posted:

Gaius Julius Caesar (pronounced Gayus Jewlies Kaiser)

bagual posted:

bagual posted:

HugeGrossBurrito posted:

anime was punishable by death under the Roman Empire