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pseudanonymous posted:Stuff like house Beesbury it's like impossible to parody. House Stark
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Mar 10, 2019 17:12
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Katt posted:I like how the show portrays the Eyrie as this impenetrable fortress. I can believe it but if only 3 soldiers can walk abreast to reach the castle then why wouldn't an invading army just post a garrison at the entrance and then just let them starve in there? I am fairy sure it is even mentioned in the books at some point that should any invading army get past the Gates of the World(?) there is nothing to stop them. I think the point of the Eyrie is symbolic, i.e. "I can see your house from here."
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Mar 10, 2019 17:43
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Vichan posted:How awesome would it have been to have Barristan present at the Dragon Pit meeting, though? Good question. I haven't gotten that far yet. I just realised that Jorah Mormont and Command Mormont have very similar last names. I never put 1 and 1 together before. Also what's the deal with Cercei telling the church to form its own militia and then 5 seconds later they have soldiers roaming the city. In the books it was some decision over taxes or something that netted her gold in the short run but backfired in the long run. With people telling her that the last time the church was permitted a militia things went badly and her scoffing over their objections. Seems Jorah got the turbo-ebol-aids in the TV series. I forgot who got it in the books but that "gang" had so many characters show up in such a short time I lost count.
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Mar 10, 2019 18:13
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Katt posted:Good question. I haven't gotten that far yet. This maybe feels more explicit in the books since you see the word Mormont twice. The church had lots of refuges hanging out and some of them were armed with clubs and stuff already, mostly Cersei just gave them crown permission to be what they already were. It was the Griffin guy who got stone leprosy, the one who kept the other last Targaryean safe all these years.
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Mar 10, 2019 19:02
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And, as she was opening this paper to see what it was, Panurge very promptly and lightly scattered the drug that he had upon her in divers places, but especially in the plaits of her sleeves and of her gown. Then said he unto her, Madam, the poor lovers are not always at ease. As for me, I hope that those heavy nights, those pains and troubles, which I suffer for love of you, shall be a deduction to me of so much pain in purgatory; yet, at the least, pray to God to give me patience in my misery. Panurge had no sooner spoke this but all the dogs that were in the church came running to this lady with the smell of the drugs that he had strewed upon her, both small and great, big and little, all came, laying out their member, smelling to her, and pissing everywhere upon her—it was the greatest villainy in the world. Panurge made the fashion of driving them away; then took his leave of her and withdrew himself into some chapel or oratory of the said church to see the sport; for these villainous dogs did compiss all her habiliments, and left none of her attire unbesprinkled with their staling; insomuch that a tall greyhound pissed upon her head, others in her sleeves, others on her crupper-piece, and the little ones pissed upon her pataines; so that all the women that were round about her had much ado to save her. Whereat Panurge very heartily laughing, he said to one of the lords of the city, I believe that same lady is hot, or else that some greyhound hath covered her lately. And when he saw that all the dogs were flocking about her, yarring at the retardment of their access to her, and every way keeping such a coil with her as they are wont to do about a proud or salt bitch, he forthwith departed from thence, and went to call Pantagruel, not forgetting in his way alongst the streets through which he went, where he found any dogs to give them a bang with his foot, saying, Will you not go with your fellows to the wedding? Away, hence, avant, avant, with a devil avant! And being come home, he said to Pantagruel, Master, I pray you come and see all the dogs of the country, how they are assembled about a lady, the fairest in the city, and would duffle and line her. Whereunto Pantagruel willingly condescended, and saw the mystery, which he found very pretty and strange. But the best was at the procession, in which were seen above six hundred thousand and fourteen dogs about her, which did very much trouble and molest her, and whithersoever she passed, those dogs that came afresh, tracing her footsteps, followed her at the heels, and pissed in the way where her gown had touched. All the world stood gazing at this spectacle, considering the countenance of those dogs, who, leaping up, got about her neck and spoiled all her gorgeous accoutrements, for the which she could find no remedy but to retire unto her house, which was a palace. Thither she went, and the dogs after her; she ran to hide herself, but the chambermaids could not abstain from laughing. When she was entered into the house and had shut the door upon herself, all the dogs came running of half a league round, and did so well bepiss the gate of her house that there they made a stream with their urine wherein a duck might have very well swimmed, and it is the same current that now runs at St. Victor, in which Gobelin dyeth scarlet, for the specifical virtue of these piss-dogs, as our master Doribus did heretofore preach publicly. So may God help you, a mill would have ground corn with it. Yet not so much as those of Basacle at Toulouse.
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Mar 10, 2019 20:02
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pseudanonymous posted:It was the Griffin guy who got stone leprosy, the one who kept the other last Targaryean safe all these years. Jon Connington  Although that entire plotline has been confirmed to just be a hill of beans distraction in the books that goes nowhere, hence why it’s not in the show. General rule of thumb: if there’s anything post-Season 4 that’s in the books but not in the show, it turns out that it actually doesn’t matter and was just GRRM spinning his wheels so it got cut.
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Mar 10, 2019 21:49
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pseudanonymous posted:How did they even build the eyrie? It's a fortress on top of a mountain. The path is so narrow you can only take goats up there. For that matter how did they build the wall? The civilization doesn't seem even remotely capable of that kind of organized effort. Though granted it was apparently 8000 years ago, so they could be entirely different then. It's sci-fi. The books are set in the Thousand Worlds setting and dragons, ice lichs and weird humanoids were probably seeded by the Genetic Corps. GRRM can't finish the series because a "Spaceship appears and brokers peace between the white walkers and humans" is a fine ending to a novella, not a 8 book saga, and the fantasy fans would be enraged
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Mar 10, 2019 22:38
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nine-gear crow posted:Jon Connington Or D&D just didn't like it or think it would work on TV. They made some really dumb additions so I take anything they removed with a pile of salt.
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Mar 10, 2019 22:48
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Rhaegar named both of his sons Aegon, lmao.
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Mar 10, 2019 23:38
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Rhaegar named both of his sons Aegon, lmao. r+l=j is literally the worst theory in the books and it turned out to be true.
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Mar 10, 2019 23:48
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Elias_Maluco posted:edit: oh, Bronn's trial by combayt at the Eyrie was very good too Bronn's trial by combat is basically the best fight in the show, cause it develops like 5 characters simultaneously: - Bronn fights safe and defensively, fights dirty as gently caress and doesn't insta-gut Ser Vardis when Vardis is stopped, showing he's a selfish pragmatist and capable of cold-blooded violence, but not actively a bad guy or a sadist. - Lyssa is still yelling "Finish him, Ser Vardis! Stop being a pussy!" even though Bronn's already flensed him, so you know that dumbass spent too much time surrounded by courtiers and has no idea what the real world's like. - Dinklage does a stellar acting job, so you can see Tyrion being simultaneously really happy that Vardis is getting hosed but also a little grossed out and uncertain that oh poo poo a dude's about to get his neck rekt. Tyrion's not a sadist, but he really really wants to stay alive and isn't stoic or manly about it. Also keeps shooting murder-glances at the Tully dumbfucks, so you know our half-sized homeboy doesn't forget a slight. - Cat looks perturbed the entire way through, cause she's starting to realise her sister's a loon and she knows enough of the world to know that Vardis isn't winning poo poo and this whole idea's been fuckin' stupid. Looks concerned at relatively small moments in the fight, cause she knows more about fighting than the average feudal babymaker. - Robin's totally scoobied the entire way through and doesn't even know who won or why they're fighting. He's not just dumb, he's got Problems. All that, in around 5 minutes AND you get a cool fight scene. Unlike later series where you get 10 minutes of jumpcuts, Mean Faces and Riverdance to tell you that the Sand Snakes are angry or fuckin' Naked Ramsay And His Dog Key That Scares Off Vikings.
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Mar 11, 2019 00:32
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Katt posted:RIP sir Barristan Selmy. The greatest swordsman that ever lived, who performed like 10 sword swings across 5 seasons before dying to street thugs. 
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Mar 11, 2019 01:12
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To be kind of fair, all those stories are from when he was much younger. The Harpy ambush is really the first time we ever actually see him do any serious fighting as an old rear end man, and guess what, he’s an old rear end man and probably should have just taken the L from Joffrey and retired.
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Mar 11, 2019 02:57
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Opinion: this series would be better if the white walkers weren't real.
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Mar 11, 2019 03:19
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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PittTheElder posted:Opinion: this series would be better if the white walkers weren't real. By opinion you mean fact, right? Seriously the political and family drama is much more interesting than Ice Zombies.
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Mar 11, 2019 04:29
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nine-gear crow posted:To be kind of fair, all those stories are from when he was much younger. The Harpy ambush is really the first time we ever actually see him do any serious fighting as an old rear end man, and guess what, he’s an old rear end man and probably should have just taken the L from Joffrey and retired. Old man Selmy owns fools in the books tho tbf
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Mar 11, 2019 06:10
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In the books Selmy carvs up like a whole squad of Lannister guards that came to arrest him for insulting the king. Then he finishes his entry into the big book of kings guards. My money is on old rear end man that doesn't want to hang in wires and do CGI Matrix stuff or sprain a wrist which takes 3 years to heal at his age.
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Mar 11, 2019 06:27
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nine-gear crow posted:To be kind of fair, all those stories are from when he was much younger. The Harpy ambush is really the first time we ever actually see him do any serious fighting as an old rear end man, and guess what, he’s an old rear end man and probably should have just taken the L from Joffrey and retired. If I'm remembering right, didn't Joffrey actually respect the hell out of Selmy? Given that interactions with the boy-king with a massive predilection towards unnecessary carnage typically ended up with parts of you stuck on a spike somewhere, him allowing Selmy to more or less take the Westerosi version of an honorable discharge was probably the greatest extent of mercy he was capable of. But no, Selmy came down with a fatal case of the Starks instead HonorableTB fucked around with this message at 06:33 on Mar 11, 2019 |
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Mar 11, 2019 06:31
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Show Barristan got fat between season 1 and whenever the gently caress he dies. They could have at least hid Sir Barrys beer gut behind armor instead of that poo poo costume they gave him.
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Mar 11, 2019 06:35
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UnlimitedSpessmans posted:r+l=j is literally the worst theory in the books and it turned out to be true. It's super obvious just from the first book.
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Mar 11, 2019 06:36
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HonorableTB posted:If I'm remembering right, didn't Joffrey actually respect the hell out of Selmy? Given that interactions with the boy-king with a massive predilection towards unnecessary carnage typically ended up with parts of you stuck on a spike somewhere, him allowing Selmy to more or less take the Westerosi version of an honorable discharge was probably the greatest extent of mercy he was capable of. Pretty sure guards were sent to arrest him and even tried to kill him in the books because he insulted the king by rejecting the retirement offer.
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Mar 11, 2019 06:50
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Doctor Faustine posted:By opinion you mean fact, right? Not really.
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Mar 11, 2019 08:00
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Katt posted:Nobody's perfect. Ned cheated on his wife. Glass houses Lord Stark. ...yeah, well. Jon is not his bastard son, but rather the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, who was not kidnapped and raped, but rather eloped to get the gently caress away from Robert. And he is such a good man that he allowed his good name to be ruined to protect his nephew, because he knew Robert would kill the boy. So I dunno - he's pretty baller that way. UnlimitedSpessmans posted:r+l=j is literally the worst theory in the books and it turned out to be true. How was this the worst theory in anyway. I didn't see it coming, and felt really "mind blown" when someone dropped that on me. Or about how Tyrion is actually a Targaryen. That was another mind blowing one.
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Mar 11, 2019 08:46
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Tyrion is 100% Tywin's child. The real kicker would be if Aerys constantly trying to gently caress down with Joanna before she got sent away from King's Landing resulted in Jaime and Cersei tbh, leaving Tyrion as Tywin's only true heir lmbo
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Mar 11, 2019 10:07
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kcroy posted:...yeah, well. Jon is not his bastard son, but rather the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, who was not kidnapped and raped, but rather eloped to get the gently caress away from Robert. And he is such a good man that he allowed his good name to be ruined to protect his nephew, because he knew Robert would kill the boy. So I dunno - he's pretty baller that way. Yeah well he lied about it and as Chaucer wrote "lying is committing murder in your heart" Nooooooo Stanis you piece of poo poo. She was your daughter! I was the only person in the world rooting for you and you hosed it up! I hope she was some fishmongers bastard and so has zero king points for your fire god.
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Mar 11, 2019 11:22
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oh no characters doing something!
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Mar 11, 2019 11:22
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:Rhaegar named both of his sons Aegon, lmao. I'm 90% sure that his name will be Aemon in the books.
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Mar 11, 2019 11:28
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Aejon.
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Mar 11, 2019 11:54
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Elman posted:Aejon. 
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Mar 11, 2019 12:16
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Vichan posted:I'm 90% sure that his name will be Aemon in the books. Plot twist: Rhaegar named him after Jon Connington, so his real name is also Jon.
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Mar 11, 2019 13:53
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So I get that Bronn and Jaime got a slap on the wrists at Dorne but how did the girl assassin squad get away when they were caught red handed trying to assassinate the Prince Trystane's wife to be? I mean you can't argue that they were just there to rough her up or anything. And the first thing they do when released is do another assassination.
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Mar 11, 2019 14:07
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Katt posted:So I get that Bronn and Jaime got a slap on the wrists at Dorne but how did the girl assassin squad get away when they were caught red handed trying to assassinate the Prince Trystane's wife to be? Doran Martell is an idiot. Also all of Dorne is really loving dumb, thinking about it only makes it worse, but don’t worry, it doesn’t last very long.
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Mar 11, 2019 14:09
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I can't not think about it. What's the deal with the poison on the dagger that kills the person several days after you stab them? This franchise has tons of instant death poisons. If the person is still alive several days after the fight then you yourself are probably dead and the poison on the dagger is no good to you. Plus you might slip and cut yourself by accident. Edit: Cercei doing the walk of shame and I'm like "So many people are going to die for this" Even for GOT. Katt fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Mar 11, 2019 |
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Mar 11, 2019 14:14
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You're not wrong.
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Mar 11, 2019 18:04
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Trudis posted:You're not wrong. except when it comes to Cersei’s name
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Mar 11, 2019 18:06
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kcroy posted:...yeah, well. Jon is not his bastard son, but rather the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna, who was not kidnapped and raped, but rather eloped to get the gently caress away from Robert. And he is such a good man that he allowed his good name to be ruined to protect his nephew, because he knew Robert would kill the boy. So I dunno - he's pretty baller that way. Not trusting Cat with that piece of info is peak Stark.
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Mar 11, 2019 18:27
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Not trusting Cat wasn't entirely dumb considering her sister, but why leave him a bastard? His BFF is the king who would do anything for Ned. Have him raised by Jon Arryn. No, keep him right under the nose of the woman who thinks he is the product of Ned betraying her, with the stigma of illegitimacy. Ned must really have hated his sister to mistreat her son so much.
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Mar 11, 2019 18:49
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He wanted to keep her son close by so he could still feel like his sister wasn’t entirely gone
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Mar 11, 2019 18:53
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less laughter posted:He wanted to keep her son close by so he could still feel like his sister wasn’t entirely gone Frankly "Ned" is one of the dumbest most baffling characters in ASoIaF. A lot of what he does is driven by what will move the plot along.
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Mar 11, 2019 19:19
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Collateral posted:Not trusting Cat wasn't entirely dumb considering her sister, but why leave him a bastard? His BFF is the king who would do anything for Ned. Have him raised by Jon Arryn. No, keep him right under the nose of the woman who thinks he is the product of Ned betraying her, with the stigma of illegitimacy. Ned must really have hated his sister to mistreat her son so much. Robert might've been slightly mad that the only woman he loved eloped and had a child with a targ. What if he had told Cat it was Lyanna's child born out of wedlock from unknown parentage? This has the advantage of almost being true! I guess since she eloped Robert would still be suspicious if it ever came out. Really the Starks and Tullys are pretty well written because for the most part the way they make terrible decisions is consistent and true to the characters.
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Mar 11, 2019 19:20
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