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Ghost Leviathan
Mar 2, 2017

Exploration is ill-advised.

Pastry of the Year posted:

Wasn't this basically an entire arc for Hank in a recent season of Venture Bros.?

Kind of? More the mob boss made a fairly half-assed attempt to recruit Hank by saying he can date his daughter if Hank's willing to execute an intruder. Things get even more farcical from there.

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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Man in wheelchair throws shoe at cockroach. Shoe has gun in it.

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless
https://twitter.com/merica/status/1108564763003547648

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!

This is so frustrating because Coldplay lyrics aren't memorable enough to make good jokes out of this

Croccers
Jun 15, 2012

Sir Lemming posted:

This is so frustrating because Coldplay lyrics aren't memorable enough to make good jokes out of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1NMXLC5yT8
They tried? :shrug: That's about all I can say.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

In very old weird news I just discovered that not only did the king of Tonga have a court jester in 2003, but he was embroiled in an embezzlement scandal.

madeintaipei
Jul 13, 2012

chitoryu12 posted:

In very old weird news I just discovered that not only did the king of Tonga have a court jester in 2003, but he was embroiled in an embezzlement scandal.

Having an Eurmali in your clan ring always carries a bit of risk.

Former DILF
Jul 13, 2017

chitoryu12 posted:

In very old weird news I just discovered that not only did the king of Tonga have a court jester in 2003, but he was embroiled in an embezzlement scandal.

How weird, he's from the Bogdonoff clan too

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


A group of Brexiteers are actually calling themselves the 'Grand Wizards'

jobson groeth
May 17, 2018

by FactsAreUseless

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Getting high on your own supply Mr. Toad?

Shifty Nipples
Apr 8, 2007

By popular demand posted:

Getting high on your own supply Mr. Toad?

Poisonous amphibians do often poison themselves a bit when they are forced to use it.

mrkillboy
May 13, 2003

"Something witty."
Briton arrested after fleeing Australia on a jetski, armed with crossbow

quote:

A wanted British man has attempted to flee Australia on a jetski, travelling almost 150km (93 miles) across the Torres Strait while armed with a crossbow.

The man almost made it to Saibai Island, in the Torres Strait Islands archipelago, which is part of Australia, though just 4km south of Papua New Guinea. He was arrested on the mudflats on the eastern side of the island.

“He gave it a red-hot go,” said Jock O’Keeffe of Queensland police.

He got pretty close:

Samuringa
Mar 27, 2017

Best advice I was ever given?

"Ticker, you'll be a lot happier once you stop caring about the opinions of a culture that is beneath you."

I learned my worth, learned the places and people that matter.

Opened my eyes.
That's...actually very impressive.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


US Is Forcing a Chinese Firm to Sell Gay Dating App Grindr

It's a national security risk, you see.

NoNotTheMindProbe
Aug 9, 2010
pony porn was here

:eng101: Weird map fact: Australian territory goes right up to and includes the island in the estuary mouth of the two South flowing rivers below the "New" in Papua New Guinea.

Garrand
Dec 28, 2012

Rhino, you did this to me!

https://twitter.com/BBCWorld/status/1111242097301118977

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

The people behind Lasagna Cat are really dedicated.

Sereri
Sep 30, 2008

awwwrigami

Lmao that last paragraph

quote:

In the meantime, both Ar Viltansou and local officials say they will continue to harvest Garfields from the coastline.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/william_fitz/status/1111457467517403137

dumb.
Apr 11, 2014

-=💀=-

Azathoth
Apr 3, 2001



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyoRTNSyJ1k

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

I really need to learn to stop googling these things to check if they're true. If not for gorilla channel I think I'd be a complete cynic by now.

Double Punctuation
Dec 30, 2009

Ships were made for sinking;
Whiskey made for drinking;
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster!

jojoinnit posted:

I really need to learn to stop googling these things to check if they're true. If not for gorilla channel I think I'd be a complete cynic by now.

An image without any source is fake nearly 100% of the time.

jojoinnit
Dec 13, 2010

Strength and speed, that's why you're a special agent.

Double Punctuation posted:

An image without any source is fake nearly 100% of the time.

No, he did indeed praise the lakes for their record deepness.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

jojoinnit posted:

No, he did indeed praise the lakes for their record deepness.

He praised the Lakes up near Canada

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy

Absurd Alhazred posted:

He praised the Lakes up near Canada

He was less than complimentary about the rains down in Africa.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

He was less than complimentary about the rains down in Africa.

:hfive:

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

Republican lawmaker prays for forgiveness as Pennsylvania State House swears in a Muslim woman. She however claims that is how she prays every day, which does not make her look any better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLVrgWygwQo

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

Hold that pose.
I've gotta get something.

So on the one hand, asking for forgiveness all of the time is pretty common in Catholicism at least, so she almost has a defense there. But also she goes so far out of her way to make sure that you know that she thinks people not following Jesus is not only why the country is bad, but also somehow not what the founding fathers intended, really makes the message incredibly clear. That's not a prayer, that's a sermon.

Terrible Opinions
Oct 18, 2013



5“Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. I assure you: They’ve got their reward 6 But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.7 When you pray, don’t babble like the idolaters,h since they imagine they’ll be heard for their many words. 8 Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him.

Double Punctuation
Dec 30, 2009

Ships were made for sinking;
Whiskey made for drinking;
If we were made of cellophane
We'd all get stinking drunk much faster!

Terrible Opinions posted:

5“Whenever you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites, because they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by people. I assure you: They’ve got their reward 6 But when you pray, go into your private room, shut your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.7 When you pray, don’t babble like the idolaters,h since they imagine they’ll be heard for their many words. 8 Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him.

No, you see, only the parts of the Bible that support her viewpoints are the true words of God. The rest is made up bullshit.

Absurd Alhazred
Mar 27, 2010

by Athanatos
https://twitter.com/Neuro_Skeptic/status/1111987357136363520

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

by Fluffdaddy

I have a theory that playing Skrillex music stops anyone from having sex.

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.
I would say his music sucks, but apparently not.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



im surprised skrillex still exists

actually, does he?

Coq au Nandos
Nov 7, 2006

I think I would say to my daughters if they were to ask me this question... A shitpost is the greatest gift that you can give someone, the ultimate gift of giving and don't give it to someone lightly, that's what I would say.

Krankenstyle posted:

im surprised skrillex still exists

actually, does he?

Yeah, he’s alive and well at 31. I’d like to make some crack about him missing out on the 27 club but I think they only accept musicians.

AKA Pseudonym
May 16, 2004

A dashing and sophisticated young man
Doctor Rope

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By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


THEIR MULTIPLYING!I
:bahgawd:

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