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Powershitting. Eat a metric poo poo ton of food, take a laxative, hold your poo poo in as long as you can, and then try to poo poo it all out in one push. Repeat until you can literally empty yourself completely in one push at will - without laxatives.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:06
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The Butcher posted:Many a disciple has walked this long and winding path, only to learn at the end of their journey that it feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked. And so the disciple becomes enlightened, having realized that the journey is more important than the destination, and uses his rock hard abs and slim flexible body to score dick on Grindr.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:16
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The correct answer is swimming
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Apr 21, 2019 02:24
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Private Cumshoe posted:The correct answer is swimming Absolutely, but it has to be directly downwards only.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:30
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Xaintrailles posted:Absolutely, but it has to be directly downwards only. Downwards into a sea of cock
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Apr 21, 2019 02:38
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Colonel Cancer posted:And so the disciple becomes enlightened, having realized that the journey is more important than the destination, and uses his rock hard abs and slim flexible body to score dick on Grindr. Namaste.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:41
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Jack off with a 20lb weight tied to your dick.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:42
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Pools are just absolutely filled with piss, so I’ll pass on swimming
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Apr 21, 2019 02:43
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:Pools are just absolutely filled with piss, so I’ll pass on swimming This is a... Negative for you?
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Apr 21, 2019 02:50
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:Pools are just absolutely filled with piss, so I’ll pass on swimming You're a very tiny man about one foot use your tub.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:51
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Big Beef City posted:This is a... Negative for you? Calm down Mr president
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Apr 21, 2019 02:52
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How about you exercise you're MIND with an hallucinogen in sweat lodge OP, you friggin' Doglord.
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Apr 21, 2019 02:52
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Just go sit in a walk in fridge all day, bring a book maybe.
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Apr 21, 2019 03:03
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Big Beef City posted:This is a... Negative for you? Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:You're a very tiny man about one foot use your tub. If God had wanted us to swim he would’ve given us gills. And fins. And scales.
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Apr 21, 2019 04:25
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:If God had wanted us to swim he would’ve given us gills. And fins. And scales. Dolphins and whales weren't meant to swim? I knew it, those sinful faux fish!
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Apr 21, 2019 04:29
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Colonel Cancer posted:Dolphins and whales weren't meant to swim? I knew it, those sinful faux fish! Join me, and support the Japanese whaling industry.
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Apr 21, 2019 05:06
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I gently caress the OPs mom and can lift a mid-sized SUV with my dick
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Apr 21, 2019 05:14
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Why do you want to exercise? I mean really.
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Apr 21, 2019 05:26
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Burt Sexual posted:Why do you want to exercise? I mean really. It has it's upsides. I'm almost 42 and I have a resting heart rate of 56 bpm. I also run way too much, and I was so exhausted and delusional on my last trail run that I had a brief one-sided conversation with a caterpillar.
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Apr 21, 2019 06:08
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Burt Sexual posted:Why do you want to exercise? I mean really. yeah feeling good sucks rear end
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Apr 21, 2019 06:11
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Chinatown posted:yeah feeling good sucks rear end
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Apr 21, 2019 06:57
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I mean it would be sex but you always end up eating pickles and snickers bars and bread popcorn and random rear end fatty poo poo. If you want to burn fat do some math problems or write computer code. That poo poo literally burns more fat than jogging or an hour on the treadmill.
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Apr 21, 2019 07:05
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a peck of pickled peckers posted:If God had wanted us to swim he would’ve given us gills. And fins. And scales.  Humans are physiologically well-adapted to diving, moreso than any other land-dwelling mammal. The longest breath hold on record while freediving is over 22 minutes! Basically we evolved to be good at diving down to pick up edible poo poo from the sea floor (sometimes stabbing it with a stick first) and an important part of that is being able to swim pretty well for a creature that lives on land
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Apr 21, 2019 07:18
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that one punch man stuff
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Apr 21, 2019 07:22
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If you eat fast enough you'll eventually burn more calories than you injest
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Apr 21, 2019 07:37
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Just crushed a gram of glacier ice cream. Not a mild trip at all and I literally just ate like a half pound of peanut butter. 
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Apr 21, 2019 07:49
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Big Beef City posted:Jack off with a 20lb weight tied to your dick. Whoa, back up a minute here. Are you a) standing up holding your dick parallel to the floor, rope trying to break your dick in half b) on your back, 20lb weight pulling rope between your legs, essentially pulling dick to rear end c) suspended from the ceiling, face down d) upside down, dick pulled toward bellybutton This is important.
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Apr 21, 2019 07:51
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burpees
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Apr 21, 2019 08:05
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spb posted:What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Running? The most efficient is something you actually do, and keep doing. It doesn't matter much what is if you are consistent and keep at it long term. I mean it does matter, but not at the start. Thinking about the best way before you've spent like a year just doing something is premature.
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Apr 21, 2019 08:22
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I think rowing on a machine, since it engages your back, legs, and arms all at once. One issue though is your pinkies will start to hurt after rowing too much.
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Apr 21, 2019 08:29
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the actual answer is a mix of cardio and heavy weight lifting OP
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Apr 21, 2019 08:40
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doverhog posted:The most efficient is something you actually do, and keep doing. It doesn't matter much what is if you are consistent and keep at it long term. This is great advice, my two favorite things to do are shitposting and eating pork rinds so I just have to start doing those things more often, physical fitness here I come!
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Apr 21, 2019 08:54
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qkkl posted:I think rowing on a machine, since it engages your back, legs, and arms all at once. One issue though is your pinkies will start to hurt after rowing too much. Haha rowing machines are such poo poo. What I like to do is get a p good rhythm going and then push backwards super hard and let go of the cord halfway so it snaps back into the thing and the seat hits the back and bounces forward, that way you can use the momentum to simply stand up and walk away from that piece of poo poo and find something better to do with you’re life. 
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Apr 21, 2019 08:55
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I've been lifting but I guess beer and pizza aren't heavy enough because it's not working.
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Apr 21, 2019 09:04
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QuarkJets posted:This is great advice, my two favorite things to do are shitposting and eating pork rinds so I just have to start doing those things more often, physical fitness here I come! Very funny. It doesn't matter if you run, or swim, or do push ups. But you knew what I meant already and just wanted to make a joke. Well done buddy.
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Apr 21, 2019 09:08
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The most effective way to exercise...is steroids.
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Apr 21, 2019 09:19
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QuarkJets posted:
When the ice caps finally melt and the sea swallows our cities we can just revert to our ancient aquatic way of life.
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Apr 21, 2019 10:29
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Gaunab posted:The most effective way to exercise...is steroids. We got a winner. Juice by Tappy!
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Apr 21, 2019 10:39
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Not eating.
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Apr 21, 2019 11:37
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QuarkJets posted:we evolved to be good at diving down to pick up edible poo poo from the sea floor have you been watching waterworld a lot recently
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Apr 21, 2019 12:18
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