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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:You're welcome. We have a groclock which is pretty much the same thing but a bit more evolved I guess and it is amazing.
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Jul 18, 2019 14:53
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Tamarillo posted:My baby thinks baths are poo poo no matter what time of day or night we try them. Sorry kid, hygiene comes first. How old? My 28 month old just started joining me in the shower and he loves it!
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Jul 18, 2019 21:04
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Mine hates the shower, something about the water in his face or the sound maybe, but he’s fine being submerged in swim class and having water poured on him. We aren’t sure yet why the shower is such anathema to him, but he loves baths. When we ask him if he’s ready for bath time, he actually gets up and walks through his room to his bathroom and he tries to climb in the tub—then he gets frustrated that he currently lacks the height, strength and coordination to safely climb in.
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Jul 18, 2019 21:28
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life is killing me posted:Mine hates the shower, something about the water in his face or the sound maybe, but he’s fine being submerged in swim class and having water poured on him. We aren’t sure yet why the shower is such anathema to him, but he loves baths. When we ask him if he’s ready for bath time, he actually gets up and walks through his room to his bathroom and he tries to climb in the tub—then he gets frustrated that he currently lacks the height, strength and coordination to safely climb in. Lol nice. My guy will load every single one of his hotwheels into the tub as we are pouring it 
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Jul 18, 2019 21:39
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KingColliwog posted:We have a groclock which is pretty much the same thing but a bit more evolved I guess and it is amazing. My kids still have their groclocks at ages 5 and 7.
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Jul 18, 2019 21:47
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Taking on twins solo in the middle of the night isn’t time consuming at all 😵 Working on figuring out how to bottle feed them both at the same time. I read to put them in their car seats but they are still on the smaller side so it’s not an ideal angle for the bottle. Right now wife and I are trading off shifts trying to figure out how to make night time work with me working during the day. Right now we have them on a 3 hour schedule with feedings at 11, 2, 5, and 8 I’ve taken in the 11 feeding solo, she solos 2am, and then we share 5am and 8am. I’m pretty wiped out in the morning still, wondering y’all thoughts? I want to be fair to her sleep situation as well but I need to get back to work full time soon.
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Jul 19, 2019 00:02
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We didn't have twins but rather a super colicky baby. The problem we had with multiple night shifts was that since our own sleep schedules were disrupted it was getting more difficult for the off duty parent to take advantage and get restful sleep for 3-4 hours. Eventually we decided on shifts with alternating days. On duty night was brutal but at least you could sort of make it up the next night since you got uninterrupted sleep.
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Jul 19, 2019 00:53
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GamingHyena posted:We didn't have twins but rather a super colicky baby. The problem we had with multiple night shifts was that since our own sleep schedules were disrupted it was getting more difficult for the off duty parent to take advantage and get restful sleep for 3-4 hours. Eventually we decided on shifts with alternating days. On duty night was brutal but at least you could sort of make it up the next night since you got uninterrupted sleep. Do you have an example of a schedule? Did you just alternate nights?
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Jul 19, 2019 02:01
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Koivunen posted:My girl turned three months old yesterday and celebrated by refusing to go to sleep for four hours after bedtime. It was the first time I’ve had to put her in the car and drive until she stopped crying. She had been pretty predictable with when she naps and when she’s ready to go down for the night, so last week I tried to start really focusing on developing a routine and seeing if I can get her to nap in the crib instead of the rock and play, and put her to bed in the crib at the same time every night. The very day I tried, her predictable routine was GONE and she’s been extremely resistant to going to sleep since. It takes at least a solid hour to get her to sleep after she starts yawning and rubbing her eyes now, often times close to two, and she gets so upset. She never used to cry at all, so this has been tough to deal with emotionally. I don't have it in me to go back and read other responses (sorry, on minimized sleep myself rn, HAAAAH) so sorry if any of this has already been said... Routine will only help -- the 'leap' she's experiencing is the one where they learn to recognize routines and it's extremely helpful to cue them that sleep is coming. We made a basic routine around this age and I can't recommend it enough. I don't think that's what's causing the issue. It's very normal for babies to change their sleep patterns as they mature >12 weeks, they're suddenly perceiving the world around them in a totally new way and that causes changes in everything for them, sleep included. Taking Cara Babies has a downloadable packet that explains the changes and gives some strategies that we really liked. She also has a blog about weaning babies off the Rock N Play, which you should probably do soon as they're really not safe once baby starts rolling. Last piece of advice, I wouldn't put her down the same time every night -- instead, focus on making sure she's been up at least 95-120 minutes from her last nap before you put her down for bed. Wake windows are major key. Also, crying sucks rear end and makes everyone feel like monsters. You're a good parent and you got this. This phase will be over soon, I promise!
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Jul 19, 2019 02:13
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BadSamaritan posted:Sleepy eyes open I appreciate this so very very much. Claps forever.
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Jul 19, 2019 02:21
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bomb posted:Do you have an example of a schedule? Did you just alternate nights? Basically, yes. The thing was the on duty nights weren't THAT bad compared to having your sleep interrupted every night.
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Jul 19, 2019 02:44
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femcastra posted:You used the word sooky so I’m guessing you are Australian? Yep I'm Australian. Thanks everyone for the replies. I just had a moment of self doubt where i thought, maybe the loving professional person who has made their career out of caring for kids and knowing about their needs and development might know better than me. Yeah I'm not going back. Its all bad but I'm most horrified about the lovely attitude. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. I've already looked at 3 places and have another couple lined up. The annoying thing is the only place with a vacancy (which is lovely and super close to my house) costs $193 a day 
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Jul 19, 2019 05:18
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bomb posted:Right now we have them on a 3 hour schedule with feedings at 11, 2, 5, and 8 What's it like between feedings, are they sleeping? Do you wake them up for feedings? Because if you are, I'd advise expanding the intervals gradually. If baby wants to sleep at night, they should.
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Jul 19, 2019 09:23
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diapermeat posted:How old? My 28 month old just started joining me in the shower and he loves it! Only 8 months. We don't have a bath so we've got one of those little baby tub things but whether sink or tub, this kid has always started complaining after about five minutes. I have actually started bringing him into the shower with the baby tub on the floor and we sit together with the water pointed to one side and it's made him hate the tub a BIT less. He's very interested in trying to climb out of the tub to get the shower head though and if I give it to him he licks it.
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Jul 19, 2019 11:22
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pseudomonas posted:I just had a moment of self doubt where i thought, maybe the loving professional person who has made their career out of caring for kids and knowing about their needs and development might know better than me. Again, I can only speak for New York. My wife has been a director for assorted day cares for the past 5 years and has built a reputation on being a fixer because there's some real bad poo poo out there due to sheer incompetence. There are tons of directors out there who are dumb as poo poo. The sad reality is that lovely centers succeed because they're cheap and convenient, and quality centers struggle because maybe the location isn't the greatest, or it's more expensive than the place down the road. You need to do your research, tour the center, ask lots of hard questions, look up their code violations and ask specific questions about certain violations. The director will HATE talking about those violations, does she remain professional and honest? Does she seem like the kind of person your want in charge of your baby if there's an emergency? Accidents will happen, children will get hurt for the dumbest reasons imaginable, your child will get sick. How does the director respond to those situations, and will she handle them correctly? I don't mean to scare anyone away from daycare, because there's tons of great places out there. My wife only sees the worst because she gets called in when things hit rock bottom. But it's not a matter of picking the closest or cheapest place, and when it's bad, it's real bad. So don't be afraid to acknowledge that the place sucks rear end and leave. There are tons of god awful directors out there and they get away with it for so long because nobody holds them accountable.
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Jul 19, 2019 12:58
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Once place my wife worked lost their license before she got hired because of something the previous director had done. The short of it is that a young child was on the wrong playground meant for bigger kids, fell and hurt his arm. No report was filed, the parents weren't notified, they just threw some ice on it and went about their day while ignoring the kid's complaints. That night, the parents knew something was wrong, so they took him to the doctor where they found a spiral fracture. In childcare, a spiral fracture is indicative of abuse. So the parents contacted OCFS (the regulating body) who launched a full on investigation. An investigation that the director then refused to cooperate with, which just made her seem even more suspicious. Eventually the truth came out and they found out he fell on the playground and no incident report was filed. The OCFS rep was pissed off and slammed the center with every punishment they could within their power. If they had just filed the incident report, they would've gotten a simple violation for the kid being on the wrong playground, and life would've went on. The following week, a different parent found out that the director forged her signature on an incident report when her kid got a gash on her head. OCFS was called again, the building was shut down, the license was revoked, the director lost her job, and she was blackballed from ever working with children again. The moral of this story is that if that director just told the truth the whole god drat thing could've been avoided. But instead of communicating what happened to parents, she tried to hide it. Accidents will happen, children will get hurt. All the care and supervision in the world can't prevent your child on tripping on nothing and cracking their head on a toy. Children are accident golems and will go out of their way to figure out the best way to hurt themselves. The important part is that you need to trust that director to take care of your child and respond in the correct way. It may make you upset that you got a call from the director saying your kid got cut and needs to be taken to the hospital for stitches, but just imagine if nothing was done, and you didn't find out until you showed up to pick up your kid? Renegret fucked around with this message at 14:01 on Jul 19, 2019 |
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Jul 19, 2019 13:44
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Renegret posted:Once place my wife worked lost their license before she got hired because of something the previous director had done. Holy poo poo. We got a goddamn incident report when one of the caregivers accidentally got some of my kids skin caught in a zipper (and to be fair, he is a chonk and those jumpsuits were getting tight). I don't think they even broke the skin, but we got the official paperwork and a report from the lady in charge of the infant room and everything. We love our center and I'm dreading having to go through the search again when we move this fall.
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Jul 19, 2019 14:15
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2DEG posted:Holy poo poo. We get incident reports for things that are so minimal. Any tiny little scratch she gets from another infant they call me and write a report. It seemed silly to me but now from previous posts I have confidence that they will let me know ASAP if something bad happens.
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Jul 19, 2019 14:32
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Mine was scratched by another kid and they filed an incident report. I didn’t see the report and didn’t know anything had happened until the next day. But, my MIL picked him up that day and couldn’t have signed an incident report because she’s not the parent, only thing I wish they’d done different was tell her it had happened. But it was a small thing, I had to look hard at his cheek to see any scratch, it was very superficial. One time he bumped his head trying to stand up a few months ago and the soft mat slipped off its Velcro from under him so he hit his forehead. They called, had me sign an incident report, and from the time it happened to when I got there the assistant principal (director) been cuddling him and comforting him up at the front. I see both of the asst principals going in all the rooms all the time and just snuggling and playing with the kids, and that makes me feel like my son is safe there and like they give a poo poo. There’s a website my wife and I used to find a daycare, I’ll have to find it and link it here. Basically it had incident reports that has been filed at each daycare in the metro area, what happened, how it was handled/what actions were taken, and whether or not the parents were satisfied with the outcome. Naturally there were no names, but the daycare we chose, while it didn’t have the lowest number of incidents, did have a great record of handling incidents properly which showed good directorship.
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Jul 19, 2019 14:58
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My 8-month-old got cut somehow in the worst spot- it's on the inner part of his thumb right where the thumb meets the palm. I can't for the life of me figure out how it happened-the only thing I can think of is he loves to grab books while we read them so maybe it was a papercut or something, but it's more like a cardboard cut since the book pages are so thick. We never noticed it bleeding either, so I don't even know what it could have been from-definitely happened in the last day though because I didn't notice it when I was cutting his nails. The problem is that he gets into everything and he's constantly grabbing toys/food/whatever with that hand so sticking a bandaid on it is very temporary and I don't want to put one on at night because I feel like he would eat the bandaid. We're putting aquaphor or neosporin on it when we can but poo poo man...I'm sure it will heal up eventually but any advice?
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Jul 19, 2019 15:04
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Thanks for all the awesome advice about bedtime routine! I am definitely going to start doing bath/warm water tub before bed, and time it based on her wake cycle instead of strictly the clock. She was up until 1 AM again last night, but slept until 6 AM, so yay? Supposedly one day left in this leap.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:02
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:What's it like between feedings, are they sleeping? Do you wake them up for feedings? They are actually hungrier in the evening so they are generally waking up right on the interval. We'll move up to 4 hours eventually but they are still very early on. We need to keep them on a schedule or else things are going to get crazy due to :twins: logistics.
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Jul 19, 2019 18:03
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bomb posted:They are actually hungrier in the evening so they are generally waking up right on the interval. We'll move up to 4 hours eventually but they are still very early on. We need to keep them on a schedule or else things are going to get crazy due to :twins: logistics. I see! We got one of those sleepy ones that we had to wake up to feed, and it took us a few weeks to figure out that she was actually gaining weight just fine and we could let her sleep as long as she wanted between feedings - which was never more than 5 hours, anyway.
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Jul 19, 2019 19:10
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How lovely a parent can I be before abandoning them actually works out in their favor? This is a serious question, I know physical abuse is obviously a line you can't cross back over, but like what about a life-long campaign of belittling and emotional terrorism? Fairly certain my wife would be better off without me, too.
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Jul 20, 2019 04:15
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So all of a sudden our gremlin hates to go in his car seat. HATES it. As soon as I open the car door he’s trying to leap out of my arms, struggling against me. He will flail and scream and cry. Once I do manage to get him in with an arched back he locks his knees and refuses to sit down. Typically he settles down once he accepts he’s riding in it and I’ve fought with him to get his arms through the harness, but not always. We did just buy new 3in1 seats since he’s too long for his old infant one, but I can’t imagine why he’d hate the new, more comfortable ones? Any ideas?PHIZ KALIFA posted:How lovely a parent can I be before abandoning them actually works out in their favor? This is a serious question, I know physical abuse is obviously a line you can't cross back over, but like what about a life-long campaign of belittling and emotional terrorism? Fairly certain my wife would be better off without me, too. Are you okay, dude? Legit serious. I don’t know you at all but you sound like you really need to get a break and take some time to yourself, or at the very least maybe talk to someone. I’ve been there, dawg—I’ve been so exhausted and frustrated I literally had to walk across the house and scream into a pillow until I couldn’t talk for a day. Kids have a way of running you ragged until you’re driven to cut people off in traffic on purpose and start fights with strangers. What I’m saying is, if that’s what you’re going through, or something like it, you can vent here. I have, a lot. Just please don’t take it out on your kids, wherever you vent.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:08
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I feel like I opened the wrong door and stepped whole-cloth into someone elses life and I am just, in every conceptual way, unsuited to what is being asked of me.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:29
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I feel like I opened the wrong door and stepped whole-cloth into someone elses life and I am just, in every conceptual way, unsuited to what is being asked of me. You're not alone. Nobody has any idea how to be a parent until they become one. That's what this thread is for.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:42
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I feel like I opened the wrong door and stepped whole-cloth into someone elses life and I am just, in every conceptual way, unsuited to what is being asked of me. Welcome to the club, I’ll be your usher. Really, if you need a break, take one. You sound like you need a little time to get your headspace right. We all need that from time to time. The one constant is, it’s not easy. It won’t be from here on in. But it’s doable. Do you think it’d be a good idea to talk to your SO/spouse and talk about getting some downtime? If you’re doing this in your own, do you have family around? Because I’m telling you now, downtime is REALLY important.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:43
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The child isn't even born yet. That's, y'know,
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Jul 20, 2019 05:45
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I feel like I opened the wrong door and stepped whole-cloth into someone elses life and I am just, in every conceptual way, unsuited to what is being asked of me. Don’t worry about it and just do it, it will be fine
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Jul 20, 2019 05:51
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I tried not worrying about it but now I'm going to be a dad despite living most of my life being fairly certain that i was instead going to die under a pile of drugs and hookers.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:53
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i mean i know i need to adjust my trajectory but nothing in this new life appeals as much as drugs and dying in a motel under an assumed name.
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Jul 20, 2019 05:53
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i mean i know i need to adjust my trajectory but nothing in this new life appeals as much as drugs and dying in a motel under an assumed name. Rarely does anything appeal as much as drugs and alcohol. The thing is, your trajectory means a lot. Where you’re going matters a lot. It matters because it’s not just about you anymore, and when it isn’t about you solely, that can affect your trajectory now, and your unborn child’s trajectory later on. By which I mean, if you intend to be in this child’s life, being a father whilst feeling wholly unprepared for such may be just the thing that spurs you toward a different path than the one you say appeals most to you right now—it can give you something to focus on. Trust me, you’ll have little time for much else should you desire and strive to be a present father. And being present will make a huge, incalculable difference to your kid and how they describe their childhood to a therapist 20-30 years from now. I’m not trying to give you some “man up” speech, rather some encouragement, but at the same time, try to change your perspective.
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Jul 20, 2019 06:28
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I'm unconvinced my presence in this child's life will be at all a net positive, given the trouble i've caused me.
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Jul 20, 2019 06:34
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I feel your pain brother
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Jul 20, 2019 07:35
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I'm unconvinced my presence in this child's life will be at all a net positive, given the trouble i've caused me. Learn from it and help them avoid it
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Jul 20, 2019 08:03
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I'm unconvinced my presence in this child's life will be at all a net positive, given the trouble i've caused me. This parenting poo poo isn't hard. It's exhausting and it takes years and you never get enough sleep but it's not rocket surgery. You just make sure they're fed, hydrated, clean and dry and love them. I don't know what poo poo you've been through but the good news is that it doesn't matter, if you decide to be a good parent for this kid, and really mean it, you will be. Feeling overwhelmed and scared is normal.
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Jul 20, 2019 08:29
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:I'm unconvinced my presence in this child's life will be at all a net positive, given the trouble i've caused me. You’re married, so clearly someone thinks you’re worth giving a poo poo about. Your unborn kid doesn’t know what you’ve gone through or how you feel about yourself. All they will know is that you are there, and will be there when you say you will be. That plus the important stuff like clothing, feeding, cuddling, and bathing, is it. Your kid won’t know if you’re having an existential crisis and as long as you don’t take it out on them, they’ll be fine. My mental health took a huge hit after the baby came, but she didn’t know any different. I got help and things got easier, and she’s doing fine.
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Jul 20, 2019 10:33
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nwin posted:. liquid bandage Which is actually just super glue, so if you have some of the brush kind, you're good to go. Edit, fixed link. a friendly penguin fucked around with this message at 15:58 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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Jul 20, 2019 13:18
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a friendly penguin posted:liquid bandage That links to something really weird. Something about birth being a curse-I dunno. I have liquid bandage which I use on myself but it stings like hell. Think it’s safe for the 8 month old?
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Jul 20, 2019 13:28
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