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PokeJoe posted:Tell them to suck eggs Yeah that’s the plan but how do I do that without being told to suck eggs in return when bonus time comes?? I’m about to be like hey here’s my solution give everyone at my level a 20% bonus to achieve parity.
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Aug 28, 2019 18:03
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HR hosed up and is trying to get you to cover for them as quickly and quietly as possible. Your response should essentially be a hard "nah," but you can color it however you wish. Don't sign anything and don't even acknowledge the new offer unless someone from outside HR makes it clear that you will lose your job as a result. If they issue an ultimatum there's not much you can do, but that would be a pretty fuckin' stupid thing for them to do. You have a signed offer with your bonus on it, no? If they come in short, show them your letter.
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Aug 28, 2019 18:17
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if it’s a “target” bonus that didn’t come with quantifiable metrics then it was always total horseshit anyway. don’t sacrifice future negotiation leverage to save someone in HR face.
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Aug 28, 2019 18:23
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yeah i mean a target bonus is pretty lol, who cares what if your paper says 20% theyll just give you 16% and say "see it says 'target' as in a goal"
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Aug 28, 2019 20:05
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it's weird how many hr people are bad at doing paperwork which is like the entirety of their job
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Aug 28, 2019 20:31
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qirex posted:it's weird how many hr people are bad at doing paperwork which is like the entirety of their job it's not that they can't do the paperwork, it's that they just don't care. and who can blame them?
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Aug 28, 2019 23:40
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My understanding is that in the US your employer can change your compensation at any time. If this is true, then I'd probably try and take the approach of getting a higher total salary to compensate as I'd guess that they're going to lower the bonus amount anyway.
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Aug 29, 2019 02:19
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If the company is large enough that HR is a department with multiple people, that $5k is a drop in the bucket for them and they should suck it up and deal with their mistake. However, America, so lol at the idea of employee protections.
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Aug 29, 2019 02:57
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given how the HR person is specifically avoiding having it in writing, it sounds like they personally hosed up and are trying to quietly paper it over ASAP id just ignore it and tell them to talk to my manager about it if they bring it up again
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Aug 29, 2019 05:30
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Progressive JPEG posted:given how the HR person is specifically avoiding having it in writing, it sounds like they personally hosed up and are trying to quietly paper it over ASAP Yeah this sounds good. You can do it politely, just ask them to confirm this is correct with your manager (cc them if they're cool). Whatever happens then at least your boss knows you got screwed, and hopefully he would care.
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Aug 29, 2019 10:06
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Rex-Goliath posted:it really blows me away how atrocious tech salaries are in london. what the gently caress, you guys The majority of them are garbage given the cost of living. If you work in finance there are a lot in the 70-120k range depending on experience, and a few which are higher than that, however a lot of these are either super dull or have lovely working conditions. It's a nice city, I used to think it was the best place ever, but there are plenty of other cities (maybe not in England but certainly in the rest of the UK and in mainland Europe) with way higher QoL and pay which, while it would be a big cut if you were at the top end of what London offers, is for most people a good deal.
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Aug 29, 2019 10:13
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isn't gbp/usd at like 1.2 at this point seems like a good time to get the h*ck out
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Aug 29, 2019 11:29
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it was like 1.4 before the referendum, lmao
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Aug 29, 2019 13:28
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Jabor posted:it was like 1.4 before the referendum, lmao i think you'll find that brexit is actually a wonderful opportunity for global britain to leave behind the antiquainted, undemocratic EU also: quote:U.K.’s Boris Johnson Seeks Suspension of Parliament Ahead of Brexit
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Aug 29, 2019 14:01
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It's already suspended. That whole country is hosed from the ground up.
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Aug 29, 2019 17:00
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Progressive JPEG posted:isn't gbp/usd at like 1.2 at this point Jabor posted:it was like 1.4 before the referendum, lmao it was down to 1.4 because the announcement of the referendum historically it has been in the 1.50 to 2.00 range the gbp is in the toilet and vacationing in london is like a giant tag sale
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Aug 29, 2019 19:18
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there's a good chance it will hit euro parity when brexit goes though hell, there's a non-zero chance that it could hit dollar parity if things go badly enough
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Aug 29, 2019 19:24
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The_Franz posted:there's a good chance it will hit euro parity when brexit goes though GW is good again and the point is poo poo: good time to be getting back into 40k? 
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Aug 29, 2019 19:26
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pointsofdata posted:i think you'll find that brexit is actually a wonderful opportunity for global britain to leave behind the antiquainted, undemocratic EU bojo discovers one weird trick from british north america! liberals hate it!
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Aug 29, 2019 19:39
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The_Franz posted:there's a good chance it will hit euro parity when brexit goes though Belize dollar parity
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Aug 29, 2019 19:48
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pointsofdata posted:Yeah this sounds good. You can do it politely, just ask them to confirm this is correct with your manager (cc them if they're cool). Whatever happens then at least your boss knows you got screwed, and hopefully he would care. the answer here is that you’ve already accepted an offer. your compensation is no longer up to the recruiter, that contract is signed. they have no power to fire you. they can escalate it with HR and your management, but I doubt they will get far with that. your boss should back you up and tell them to get hosed if they try anything. if he doesn’t then it’s probably time to start looking for a different job anyway.
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Aug 29, 2019 20:13
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The company wouldn't ever allow you to renegotiate your comp because you didn't read it properly, after you've signed it, so there's no grounds for them to ask the same of you. They wrote the contract, there's no excuse for not knowing what's in it. A deal's a deal a deal.
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Aug 29, 2019 23:26
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Just interviewed a guy who answered the question of "Why do you want to work with us?" with "I need money and you are hiring." I think I am going to hire him.
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Aug 29, 2019 23:57
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Reject him, his lack of complete and total piety to your company he knows nothing about and has absolutely no stake in all but confirms he is totally unqualified for this programming job.
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Aug 30, 2019 00:05
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I'd probably hire him too but also you don't really want someone who is cynical about the job before they even start
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Aug 30, 2019 00:12
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PokeJoe posted:I'd probably hire him too but also you don't really want someone who is cynical about the job before they even start do you only hire juniors or liars?
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Aug 30, 2019 00:13
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Liars mostly, just like in every job
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Aug 30, 2019 00:15
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https://twitter.com/elliott_downing/status/1167162185832787968
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Aug 30, 2019 00:17
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the needing money part is both obvious and implied. it's not really a great answer.
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Aug 30, 2019 03:40
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the only reason I go to work is because I need money. if I didn’t need money, I would not go to work. any other answer is a lie. now you could argue that the question was intended to ask why he wanted to work with them in particular versus any other employer, but it didn’t.
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Aug 30, 2019 04:13
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yeah true, something like "why do you want to work here in particular?" is a better way to phrase it
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Aug 30, 2019 04:20
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The question requires only a human answer to pass. If the person answers in a way that is actively grating or annoying then they fail, any further analysis is wasted effort.
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Aug 30, 2019 05:32
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Could argue that basic social awareness that the most literal answer isnt the full answer is being tested with that question.
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Aug 30, 2019 05:39
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"So uhh, if you had to come up with an estimate, how many ping pong balls would fit inside a Boeing 737?" "That what you do here? Fill aircraft with ping pong balls?"
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Aug 30, 2019 05:43
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Sapozhnik posted:"So uhh, if you had to come up with an estimate, how many ping pong balls would fit inside a Boeing 737?"
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Aug 30, 2019 05:52
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Sapozhnik posted:"So uhh, if you had to come up with an estimate, how many ping pong balls would fit inside a Boeing 737?" this is honestly the best response.
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Aug 30, 2019 06:44
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Sapozhnik posted:"So uhh, if you had to come up with an estimate, how many ping pong balls would fit inside a Boeing 737?" asking clarifying questions is so much fun
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Aug 30, 2019 06:47
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qhat posted:The question requires only a human answer to pass. If the person answers in a way that is actively grating or annoying then they fail, any further analysis is wasted effort. quote:You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
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Aug 30, 2019 12:50
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I clearly died, succumbing to exhaustion and dehydration just after flipping the tortoise, a thing I only did in the first place due to my near-death dry-brain malaise
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Aug 30, 2019 13:36
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qhat posted:It's already suspended. That whole country is hosed from the ground up. No it isn't (yet), it's on recess i.e. on holiday. Yes, the timing's great, isn't it.
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Aug 30, 2019 13:41
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