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trickybiscuits posted:But it's Olive Garden! What are they supposed to do, go someplace that serves food they're not 100% used to that might have actual flavor? Someplace unfamiliar? A NON-CHAIN RESTAURANT?!! Sounds like my family. Anytime someone's birthday comes up, I actually get a little giddy to hear about the conniption fits my aunt and uncle inevitably have when the food isn't specifically what they want. My brother and a cousin text me the funniest bits. The most recent one was 'Meltdown at the Izikaya restaurant'. And it isn't just 'won't branch off from chain restaurants'. My brother texted me once that they were complaining at a chain restaurant that they wanted to go to a different chain restaurant, but their son said no.
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 17:43 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 13:25 |
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trickybiscuits posted:But it's Olive Garden! What are they supposed to do, go someplace that serves food they're not 100% used to that might have actual flavor? Someplace unfamiliar? A NON-CHAIN RESTAURANT?!! These people might literally be me. Except instead of olive garden it was a decent sea food restaurant that just happens to be so far away that travelling with a 2 month old makes it nearly impossible, then getting mad when the baby got tired and dinner had to be rushed. Of course the restaurant that was a couple blocks away was no good as it didn't have salmon (this was a lie of course, we were in Seattle for shitsake).
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 17:56 |
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LadyPictureShow posted:Sounds like my family. Anytime someone's birthday comes up, I actually get a little giddy to hear about the conniption fits my aunt and uncle inevitably have when the food isn't specifically what they want. My brother and a cousin text me the funniest bits.
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 19:04 |
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Nevermind.
MasBrillante fucked around with this message at 21:37 on Sep 10, 2019 |
# ? Sep 10, 2019 19:14 |
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This space for rent.
Beachcomber fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Sep 11, 2019 |
# ? Sep 10, 2019 20:30 |
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I deleted it.
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 21:38 |
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These parents always seem fixated on visions of the ideal family. My mom would frequently bring up examples of other children from books and nag me, "Why can't you be more like ___? Look, she is always meek and respectful and never talks back!" Uhhhh, maybe it's because she's a fictional character? Maybe the author is an abusive piece of poo poo themselves and has created their version of the ideal child? Or, we would be out and see another family and my mom would tell me, "Look! ___ always says 'Sir' and 'Ma'm' when talking to his parents! How nice!" Well, maybe it's because he knows he'll get a beating when they get home if he doesn't. One time during an argument, I made the point that if you want respect you have to give respect she shouted, "I don't have to do anything! We're not equal! It says so in the Bible!"
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 22:35 |
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MasBrillante posted:I deleted it. Have you considered apologizing? madeintaipei fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Sep 10, 2019 |
# ? Sep 10, 2019 23:06 |
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madeintaipei posted:Too late now. I try not to be a mean person. Sometimes I fall short. Anyway the poster who quoted it can now choose to delete if they want to. If not, oh well. No need to keep talking about it.
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 23:25 |
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Cerebral Mayhem posted:One time during an argument, I made the point that if you want respect you have to give respect she shouted, "I don't have to do anything! We're not equal! It says so in the Bible!" Yep, this is my mom right here. Except she's not even religious; she's just of the opinion that it's the natural order of things for children to show undying respect for their parents without expectation of the reverse. Strange, because she constantly talks poo poo to her own mother.
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# ? Sep 10, 2019 23:55 |
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Cerebral Mayhem posted:These parents always seem fixated on visions of the ideal family. My mom would frequently bring up examples of other children from books and nag me, "Why can't you be more like ___? Look, she is always meek and respectful and never talks back!" Uhhhh, maybe it's because she's a fictional character? Maybe the author is an abusive piece of poo poo themselves and has created their version of the ideal child? Or, we would be out and see another family and my mom would tell me, "Look! ___ always says 'Sir' and 'Ma'm' when talking to his parents! How nice!" Well, maybe it's because he knows he'll get a beating when they get home if he doesn't. What a whiny bitch. Respect is earned. The bible doesn't give parents carte blanche to be assholes.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 00:07 |
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trickybiscuits posted:But it's Olive Garden! What are they supposed to do, go someplace that serves food they're not 100% used to that might have actual flavor? Someplace unfamiliar? A NON-CHAIN RESTAURANT?!! Status. Living in a prestigious neighbourhood is high status, even if you never go outside. Plus it makes your children even more wrong when they aren't eager and grateful to stay in your resort community.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 01:26 |
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AuntBuck posted:What a whiny bitch. Respect is earned. The bible doesn't give parents carte blanche to be assholes. It...kinda does.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 01:49 |
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To defend the parents, (ever so slightly, and only in this case): It sounds like they live in a retirement community in the middle of nowhere that they are talking up to make themselves sound cooler, and richer, and therefore better people than they actually are. So obviously there is gently caress all to do nearby, and the only restaurant around is a chain that gets packed with old people doing their dinner rush at 4:30PM. So I don't criticize them too much for that. And personally, I have endured boring vacations at home, (I live in a different country to my parents and can't get home often), where I have spent the day just hanging out pottering around the house helping my mum with her sewing and watching TV. But it makes her happy to have her son at home, so I suck it up. Now of course, if the parents weren't such passive aggressive, whiny, controlling narcissists, things could have gone a whole lot more smoothly, (understand that a baby does not want to be in an Olive Garden during it's usual nap time, allow the couple to get out and try and do something, try to take care of the baby in accordance to it's parents wishes etc.). And I guarantee that all the performative wailing and gnashing of teeth, (They yelled at us, they said hurtful things, they weren't grateful enough, they blamed us for everything we did to them etc.) is either perceived, exaggerated, or even entirely made up. And it is also a bit rich to loudly claim victimhood and "Estrangement", when your son and daughter in law go out of their way to travel to you, (something you aren't willing to do for them), to allow you time with them and your grandkid when they know there will be nothing there for them to do for the duration, yet you can't even accommodate the simplest of requests like "lets wait till the baby has had it's nap before going out to dinner. So I suppose I am not really defending the parents here, more saying that they took a situation which, whilst not ideal, is perfectly normal and which most families deal with well, and turned it into a hysterical drama all about THEM and how THEY have been slighted.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 01:54 |
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Clitch posted:It...kinda does. I don't want to get too into bible chat but there are passages that can be interpreted either way. It's irrelevant because the idiot boomer narcissists, for the most part, only know the commandment about honoring your parents, and they equate respect with tolerating abuse and shaming.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 02:10 |
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Cerebral Mayhem posted:These parents always seem fixated on visions of the ideal family. My mom would frequently bring up examples of other children from books and nag me, "Why can't you be more like ___? Look, she is always meek and respectful and never talks back!" Uhhhh, maybe it's because she's a fictional character? Maybe the author is an abusive piece of poo poo themselves and has created their version of the ideal child? Or, we would be out and see another family and my mom would tell me, "Look! ___ always says 'Sir' and 'Ma'm' when talking to his parents! How nice!" Well, maybe it's because he knows he'll get a beating when they get home if he doesn't. I get compared to her best friend's kids, because they have a good relationship with their mother. All the things my mom refuses to do with me, like interacting with my social media, texting me, saying yes when I ask if she wants to go do something, she does with her friend's kids. So while she's ignoring me on purpose to prove how lovely I am, she's actively participating in a relationship with other people's kids like they're her own. She also does the same with my sister. Apparently it's just me who who gets to be ignored deliberately to prove a point. Which at this point is perfectly fine. I'm 100% done trying to manage her emotional baggage for her.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 15:50 |
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Picnic Princess posted:I get compared to her best friend's kids, because they have a good relationship with their mother. All the things my mom refuses to do with me, like interacting with my social media, texting me, saying yes when I ask if she wants to go do something, she does with her friend's kids. So while she's ignoring me on purpose to prove how lovely I am, she's actively participating in a relationship with other people's kids like they're her own. She also does the same with my sister. Apparently it's just me who who gets to be ignored deliberately to prove a point. Which at this point is perfectly fine. I'm 100% done trying to manage her emotional baggage for her. Let your mother and her friend know that co-parenting is much simpler, legally, if they marry one another. Then never speak to your mother again.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 15:56 |
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Clitch posted:It...kinda does. So, not my story, but my girlfriend's story. And her Mom. They're not officially estranged, the contact is just pretty minimal a lot of the time. Sometime in her early teens, Mom went from being a hippie free spirit and went back to her ultra-catholic upbringing at some point. Mom rewritten her own history, and flat out denies certain things that don't fit with her catholic worldview. Even when there's photographic evidence. Anyway, for 2 years or so, my GF went vegetarian/pescatarian. Mom came up for a visit, things seemed to go really well, they were really getting along, but her Mom kept questioning WHY she wasn't eating meat. Then, on the "I got home safe" call, Mom BLEW UP about how vegetarianism wasn't healthy, it was disrespecting God, and if she'd just eat meat she'd have more time to worry about the unborn babies! Mom got hung up on, they didn't talk for about 6 months after that, and on the next visit, Mom denied the conversation ever happened.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 17:37 |
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Relentless posted:Then, on the "I got home safe" call, Mom BLEW UP about how vegetarianism wasn't healthy, it was disrespecting God, and if she'd just eat meat she'd have more time to worry about the unborn babies! I mentioned that conversation to my mom once on the phone, and you could almost hear the gears in her brain failing to mesh as she tried to figure out how not eating meat had anything at all to do with abortion rights. Your GF's mom broke my mom's brain.
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# ? Sep 11, 2019 18:29 |
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quote:Two weeks ago we met with ES/DIL and both pastors. Our pastor moderated the time. Their pastor gave comments and asked questions during the time as well. Both were there as those who care about us and want reconciliation for us. We had heard beforehand that they met together the week prior and expressed optimism for the outcome of the meeting. Hmm, I wonder what things her son and daughter-in-law might have accused her of . . . oh. quote:I came across this site 16 months ago but have never posted. I can’t believe, sadly, how much of your stories are part of ours. My husband and I have been happily married through the ups and downs of the past 36 years, and are the parents of three adult sons. The downs have included one DIL leaving our youngest son a few years ago (hasn’t quite gotten around to divorcing), middle son in jail/prison when he was 20 for inappropriate contact with a 16 year old, and now is a registered sex offender. I’ve sat with two dear cousins at the end of their battles with cancer. I’ve walked with my dad and stepmother through Dad’s dementia and subsequent passing a year ago. I’ve gone through breast cancer (8 year survivor, yeay!), and YET…. none of that was done “to me”. quote:Last year we agreed to go to counseling with ES and DIL. Spent four months looking at their 11-page, 10-theme list of all of our (mostly my) “offenses”. quote:Our GS will also turn one in May. We’ve seen him twice… met him the day he was born and saw him at 4 months. There are two GD also, one will turn five in May and the other will be three in June. The oldest was three when I last saw her and her sister. ES and DIL say “it’s not healthy or wise for our kids to be close to you because we don’t trust you”. This is all over DIL’s claims that I mistreated her for years (but never came to me, either one of them…the first we heard of it was during unsuccessful counseling with them a year ago). The hemorrhaging over no longer being grandparents hits me every single day. I’m so sorry that this is your reality also. Hugs to you. quote:“Kiddo, thanks for the email. Thanks for considering us for dinner but I decline and she agrees. We go in thinking that there might be some hope and end up with her being crushed. The whole process has brutalized her and left her crying for months. So I'm going to keep an eye on it as this disaster unfolds.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 01:12 |
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"Throughout the years there have been increasing boundaries and restrictions around their children, especially in regards to our son’s felony status" is quite a sentence.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 01:35 |
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Gaps so big they’re counted in a Tony Hawk level. Goddamn, I really appreciate people holding the red flags. I’ve gotten better at reading between the lines when they’re shown like that.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 01:47 |
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TheKennedys posted:Idk, I wasn't going to post because I'm a coward and it's a clear "already NC obviously" situation, but someone mentioned abused kids having memories bubbling up like they're happening right now, because the kid never processed them, and it's happening to Boy. This thread has been a safe place for a lot of people and idk, I just wanted to get it out there out loud I guess If this is cowardice I hope I can borrow some when it's time for me to sever.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 02:01 |
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Boywhiz88 posted:Gaps so big they’re counted in a Tony Hawk level. I still struggle to see them in many cases. It's frustrating because I know it's probably a product of my equally lovely upbringing with this same sort of behavior.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 02:31 |
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Wow, a husband as an active part of the estrangement. That seems... uncommon? Also hoo boy is that guy a dick
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 02:55 |
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Antivehicular posted:Wow, a husband as an active part of the estrangement. That seems... uncommon? Also hoo boy is that guy a dick My father is an active and probably inciting problem. I'd say if not for my father I'd have a good relationship with my mom.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 03:10 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Hmm, I wonder what things her son and daughter-in-law might have accused her of . . . oh. I know there's a lot to process in this mess, but something small that I think is easy to overlook is that when the mom is asked what she is willing to do to get time with her son and grandchildren, all she was willing to do was pray about it. She offers absolutely nothing - she isn't happy to meet on their terms, isn't happy to stop doing the things they don't like, she doesn't even pretend that she's going to change her behavior or listen to them. "I'll sit on my rear end and pray to God that you do what I want while I keep doing what I'm doing" is what she's saying. I wouldn't trust her with my kids either.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 03:37 |
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quote:Son and DIL decided not to come to his celebration of life at our house because middle son would be there (in spite of the fact that middle son is the one who is always there for his grandparents), but also because of “how raw it is between us and it doesn’t feel safe”. Jaw. loving. dropped. Yes, your son, who molests kids, but is always there for you, definitely deserves to be around other children.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 04:23 |
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Scipiotik posted:My father is an active and probably inciting problem. I'd say if not for my father I'd have a good relationship with my mom. Yeah, I misphrased; I should probably say "uncommon in the context of RejectedParents," since this forum is so mother-POV and they generally seem to minimize their husbands' presence or involvement in the family situation. This does follow the template for those who do, though, with praising how supportive and protective their husband is of them, which seems to mostly mean "husband is also actively an rear end in a top hat to the estranged children."
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 04:32 |
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I wonder how much the Mothers who dominate this thread minimizing their husbands/the Fathers involvement is 1)The fathers not being the problem, 2)the fathers not being involved in their kids lives as much anyway, (due to parenting styles and toxic masculinity of the time), 3)due to this toxic masculinity stuff the Fathers not communicating their feelings. or 4) The kind of person who writes these "woe is me, I never see my grandchildren except for their monthly visits due to my evil ED. Oh the pain, the pain." is the kind of person to minimize anybody else's feelings/involvement/agency at all
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 05:56 |
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Whyyy can't you be more like your brother, the convicted paedophile???
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 07:43 |
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I would bet that the mom blames the girl for her son's conviction. She's already made it abundantly clear that she takes his side over their sibling's wife and kids. Which, on account of the increasing restrictions, makes me believe that he kept testing them and pushing boundaries to see what he could get away with, forcing them to push back with less and less access to said wife and kids. And if she's willing to go to bat for her sex offender son who's own brother doesn't want around his wife and kids, then I don't see it as too much of a stretch that she'd be willing to hit her "bad" son's child and try to pass it off as some bullshit accident.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 09:50 |
quote:Oldest son and daughter in law were married 6 years ago. We loved her, embraced her, sought out ways to accommodate her many food allergies
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 10:09 |
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Ah the mysteries of avoiding food allergies
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 10:12 |
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It's weird how often "food allergies" come up in these stories, and always about a daughter-in-law.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 10:12 |
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And also how much of an imposition they are. I mean how difficult is it to make a separate bowl of salad for the vegetarian? Or just not have mushrooms with your steak the one day a month that your son brings his allergic wife over to visit? It all piles on the fact that they are not prepared to change a single thing, and expect everyone else to accommodate their behavior. And get outraged by even the suggestion that they have to adapt for even one second.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 10:22 |
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Has that story about the mushroom allergy been posted itt? https://www.thecut.com/2019/08/ask-polly-my-in-laws-are-careless-about-my-food-allergy.html quote:Dear Polly, Fuckin mushroom powder in the mash potato.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 12:58 |
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We had a big discussion about food allergies in the boomer thread, basically boomer's can't deal with food allergies existing and will try to 'test' them constantly.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 13:36 |
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:We had a big discussion about food allergies in the boomer thread, basically boomer's can't deal with food allergies existing and will try to 'test' them constantly. Apparently because they killed all the people with food allergies in their generation before adulthood...
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 13:58 |
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# ? Apr 28, 2024 13:25 |
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My ex had a severe peanut allergy, with seizures, epipen, the whole nine yards. And it's true that boomers love saying poo poo like, "Kids didn't have so many allergies when I was young!" I dunno man, maybe you never met other kids with allergies because they mostly died undiagnosed.
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# ? Sep 12, 2019 14:01 |