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Colonel Cancer posted:That's pretty funny imo and really puts the naive idea of neverending growth into the corner where it belongs. certified lol-worthy, to be sure!
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Sep 25, 2019 18:17
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honda whisperer posted:At a party in line for a beer. Everyone I try to talk to does that YouTube personality introduction that's over excited and forced. The longer I listen the louder they get but they never actually say anything. Also the line slowly moves forward but never actually ends. *smashes that like button*
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Sep 25, 2019 18:24
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In my personal hell I really want a chicken parm but live in Oregon where there isn't a good chicken parm ANYWHERE but when I go to the market to get ingredients to make my own they only have PROCESSED MOZZARELLA CHEESE PRODUCT!!!!!
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Sep 25, 2019 18:48
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Albany, NY.
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Sep 25, 2019 18:54
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Action-Bastard posted:It's perpetual dusk on a warm summer evening with a light breeze and I'm outside. I feel nothing, I feel connected to nothing, I feel as though I'm lost in the middle of the sea but I'm just outside my front door. Sorry, sounds like I've already taken your personal hell
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Sep 25, 2019 19:06
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Rock festival but you can't drink or take drugs and you just ate dodgy filthy third-day festival food and your stomach is rumbling ominously and the lines to the third-day port-a-potties are about 45 minutes long and the one loving band you're interested in starts in five. Whoops too late you shat your pants, well at least you can go see the... oh nevermind they canceled and the slot was given to Disturbed Cool cool now your girlfriend left you because of the pant making GBS threads and is now backstage with Disturbed
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Sep 25, 2019 19:09
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Sliding down an infinitely long razorblade using my balls for brakes. The real hell is scary too.
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Sep 25, 2019 19:20
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old beast lunatic posted:pretty sure for me it would be oklahoma or kansas, Some flat bible belt tornado bait chud hellscape. Hey friend, Kansas is fun and cool. There is lots of stuff to do like farm, 4H, and pancake feeds, and alcoholism.
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Sep 25, 2019 19:44
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My own personal hell is having to help someone do a repetitive, tedious task for no real reason other than "its the way we've always done things", or because a simple tool is not available. Like taking the sandwiches out of pre-made lunchboxes for a corporate lunch meeting to put them in the fridge, because they ordered the lunch boxes too early, because the woman who orders the lunches wanted her lunch early, because she gets in at 5am because shes old and has always done this. Then an hour later we need to take all the sandwiches back out of the fridge and put them back into the boxes, but since all the sandwiches were different we need to unwrap each one and put the turkey's into the boxes labeled turkey and roast beefs into the boxes labeled roast beef.
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Sep 25, 2019 21:22
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old beast lunatic posted:pretty sure for me it would be oklahoma or kansas, Some flat bible belt tornado bait chud hellscape. Having to sit in some shithole midwestern diner listening to the boring life stories of every boring dirtstater that was ever born and no matter how much coffee I drink I never need to take a piss which would give me the chance to escape through a window.
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Sep 25, 2019 21:43
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Good Ol Filbert posted:Unironic personal hell is constant discomfort that has no end. It would be that weird North Cal universe that Nmae described where when you put on a jacket it's too hot, but when you take it off it's too cold and you're never at peace and you live in turmoil. Made worse if wearing uncomfortable clothes that doesn't fit well and you're constantly tugging and adjusting everything all the time and the fabric is scratchy. I live in Humboldt and that is the precise weather outside at this moment. I have a fan on in the apartment and I'm wearing a light sweater. Also, if I look out the south facing window in my bedroom, it is foggy; and when I look out the north facing window in my living room, it is sunny.
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Sep 25, 2019 22:18
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every family function wherein i am endlessly confronted with my failures and short comings
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Sep 25, 2019 22:23
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tiaz posted:Oh, I couldn't possibly afford a personal hell. I think you'll find with interest rates at record lows, and a wide variety of financing option, you can't afford not to have your own personal hell.
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Sep 25, 2019 23:50
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Former DILF posted:infinite beautiful women calling my dick hosed up and weird You would no doubt adapt and learn to love this. Also, how does it feel now when ugly women call your dick hosed up and weird?
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Sep 26, 2019 03:57
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honda whisperer posted:At a party in line for a beer. Everyone I try to talk to does that YouTube personality introduction that's over excited and forced. The longer I listen the louder they get but they never actually say anything. Also the line slowly moves forward but never actually ends. Zeno's keg line
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Sep 26, 2019 04:10
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starving, the only food are gas station hot dogs that have been rolling so long they look like old dudes dicks, and the only topping you can find is ketchup and mayo
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Sep 26, 2019 05:31
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OMFG FURRY posted:starving, the only food are gas station hot dogs that have been rolling so long they look like old dudes dicks, and the only topping you can find is ketchup and mayo Keep that talk up and goons might start donating to your kickstarter
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Sep 26, 2019 05:55
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iammeandsoareyou posted:I think you'll find with interest rates at record lows, and a wide variety of financing option, you can't afford not to have your own personal hell. Ah! the personal hell of receiving a sales pitch or interacting with sales in any way was inside me all along
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Sep 26, 2019 06:18
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thpook posted:I live in Humboldt and that is the precise weather outside at this moment. I have a fan on in the apartment and I'm wearing a light sweater. Also, if I look out the south facing window in my bedroom, it is foggy; and when I look out the north facing window in my living room, it is sunny.  Oh my goodness, I tip my hat to your capability to withstand itI was talking to a couple people about dry weather the other day. They were in town and really enjoying the sunny weather, it was hot, but the breeze was cool and everything was perfect. They mentioned that where they're from (I think it was Denver) that the air is so dry that people just commonly get nosebleeds.
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Sep 26, 2019 08:33
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Good Ol Filbert posted:
Only for your first few months til you acclimate. Hell, I never dealt with it when I moved here, but I did grow up in a desert climate so I may just have some native acclimatization.
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Sep 26, 2019 11:14
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RFC2324 posted:Only for your first few months til you acclimate. Hell, I never dealt with it when I moved here, but I did grow up in a desert climate so I may just have some native acclimatization. Imagine you're in a board meeting clicking through your powerpoint and then haha whoops! you start leaking blood from your nose. Your colleagues go haha woops! too, and hand you a napkin. The laughter triggers everybody to start getting nosebleeds, the entire boardroom is cracking up making nose corks out of napkins. Just another day in Denver! on the real, that climate sounds like it hurts your pink membranes on your first inhale of the day  I'm sorry
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Sep 26, 2019 11:25
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Good Ol Filbert posted:Imagine you're in a board meeting clicking through your powerpoint and then haha whoops! you start leaking blood from your nose. Your colleagues go haha woops! too, and hand you a napkin. The laughter triggers everybody to start getting nosebleeds, the entire boardroom is cracking up making nose corks out of napkins. Just another day in Denver! I'm used to it, and never realized the bloody nose thing til some friends from Texas moved here and spent 6 months dealing with it. But yeah, its a thing, no one says poo poo about bloody noses your first year here
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Sep 26, 2019 11:34
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RFC2324 posted:I'm used to it, and never realized the bloody nose thing til some friends from Texas moved here and spent 6 months dealing with it. That's a bummer, but I've heard that Colorado is beautiful, so I bet it's worth the little bit of acclimation. isn't the human body amazing?  Petition to rename the sate of Colorado to Malos Aires maybe it's named Colorado cuz that's what comes out your nose lol
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Sep 26, 2019 11:39
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Hungover as poo poo, 2.5 hours sleep, eyes of sand, insides all bile, ruined relationship ("you loving loser"), at work 11am Thursday morning with a day full of something like physically migrating and replacing an entire office's IT by yourself before end of day because it needs to be up by 7am for gently caress all money lest you face the sack and there are SFA jobs going and you're a depressed sadsack. Also there's a demon constantly poking your taint with a cactus.
spleen merchant fucked around with this message at 13:19 on Sep 26, 2019 |
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Sep 26, 2019 13:14
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Being Matt Groening and having your whole life be defined by the steady decline of the Simpsons.
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Sep 26, 2019 15:12
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Lux Animus posted:Being Matt Groening and having your whole life be defined by the steady decline of the Simpsons. uh something else happened recently that i think is gonna define him
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Sep 26, 2019 15:40
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giving a speech in front of a huge audience while having a really itchy anus
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Sep 26, 2019 16:17
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I'm saying things and people...like them? I yell words that make me sound like a loving moron and they give me Nobel. I'm trying so hard to not be taken seriously and everyone keeps saying "really? Please continue" and they sincerely mean it.
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Sep 26, 2019 16:19
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Literally A Person posted:I'm saying things and people...like them? I yell words that make me sound like a loving moron and they give me Nobel. I'm trying so hard to not be taken seriously and everyone keeps saying "really? Please continue" and they sincerely mean it. Mr. President Obama sir, it's nice of you to join us.
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Sep 26, 2019 16:35
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the internet in 2019
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Sep 26, 2019 16:42
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An understaffed Walmart. All I'm buying is baby formula. Self checkout is down and I'm waiting behind 50 people with carts fill of groceries, a horde of coupons, and planning on writing checks
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Sep 26, 2019 16:54
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Baronjutter posted:Living somewhere that looks like this what the gently caress even is this place
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Sep 26, 2019 16:57
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ElGroucho posted:what the gently caress even is this place It appears to be a housing zone that is partially sunk into a sea of tar.
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Sep 26, 2019 17:01
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ElGroucho posted:what the gently caress even is this place Florida
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Sep 26, 2019 17:19
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probably being born into a reality by uncaring monsters on an entropic plane, in which I am required to devour other life to sustain my own inevitable ironic demise-- All while being forced into ill-conceived social bonds that reward callous, hateful action, and punish empathy and kindness. That's right, Earth. Sorry everyone.
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Sep 26, 2019 18:32
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Icochet posted:Rock festival but you can't drink or take drugs and you just ate dodgy filthy third-day festival food and your stomach is rumbling ominously and the lines to the third-day port-a-potties are about 45 minutes long and the one loving band you're interested in starts in five. How about I make this worse for you. I was at a three day music festival in 2003. The Foo Fighters and Sonic Youth were playing at the same time on two different stages. Tough choice for a 90's teenager.
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Sep 26, 2019 18:48
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Neverending slow day at work. Aka today. Please kill me
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Sep 26, 2019 19:03
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poverty goat posted:Neverending slow day at work. Aka today. Please kill me Fine. Address?
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Sep 26, 2019 19:31
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Having my blood constantly drawn. The needles are large and the nurses poorly trained; they NEVER get the vein the first go. I am strapped down and incapable of resisting. Nothing but helplessness in the face of repeated stabbings with hollow syringes.
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Sep 26, 2019 20:16
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| # ? May 18, 2024 11:51 |
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THIS THREAD
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Sep 26, 2019 20:37
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