pentyne posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/eq9k3e/29mmy_wife_27f_admit_shes_a_clopper_my_little/

[29m]My wife [27f] admit she's a "Clopper" (My Little Pony porn) and has basically gone crazy with it. Ordered a lifesize plushie and has it on the walls. What do I do?


Might be a best of contender for "furiously typed with 1 hand"

ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

WIBTA For sending my mom to prison??

Beachcomber posted:

He set his boundaries and communicated clearly without any bullshit. They both are free to find partners they'll be happier with.

ScentOfAnOtaku posted:

WIBTA For sending my mom to prison??

Miserable Maid posted:

You straight up stole it. Doesn't matter if you paid after

It's like bolting out the door with product, and coming back later and paying for it, and not understanding why they're pissed. Ok maybe extreme analogy, but same thing

Have some drat self control

BurningChrome posted:

This is gonna be a fun website to be on if people like you exist on it. Lmfao. loving losing it over people drinking a drink BEFORE paying for it. At the store. Lol.

Beachcomber posted:

He set his boundaries and communicated clearly without any bullshit. They both are free to find partners they'll be happier with.

quote:

Throwaway obviously and obligatory on mobile statement.

I've recently started attending therapy again after years of not going and battling my complex PTSD, anxiety, and depression (caused by childhood trauma) on my own. It's been an uphill battle but I am trying some days are better than others. I finally admitted I couldn't do this on my own and I needed help.

At first, I thought my husband was thrilled I was going back. He came in with me to my first two appointments so my therapist and then psychiatrist could explain my diagnosis to him, about the medications they prescribed me, and so on. But he's been increasingly hostile towards me over the last 3 months whenever I would have an appointment.

Well, today when I went to my appointment I finally learned why. To keep this brief I will just give the basics of the conversation but try to provide any more info needed. This took place after driving for thirty minutes in silence.

Him: (silent and angry)

Me: ok what's wrong?

Him: why don't you tell me what you talk about in therapy or take me into your appointments?

Me: I do tell you the subjects I talk about without going into the details. And I haven't invited you in because this is supposed to be a safe space for me to talk in.

Him: are you in there talking poo poo about me?

Me: what?

Him: are you in there talking poo poo about me and our marriage?

Me: no I'm not in there talking about you or our marriage I'm talking about my drat issues and problems!

Him: well it's not like you're getting better all that much so you can't be talking about your issues that much.

Me: it's been 5 months it takes time they told you I would have my good and bad days and it's a process.

Him: yeah whatever.

We haven't talked since this morning and I've been getting the silent treatment. I'm starting to wonder here if I was in the wrong. Because he has made it very clear I'm TA in this situation. So Reddit AITA here?

Edit One: someone said I should say this so y'all don't think he is a psycho and so everyone is on the same page I I'm wife number 4. The first one cheated on him 20 years ago when he was 18 and first joined the AF. They divorced six months after getting married. So this is part of the root why he is so insecure and accuses me of hiding things.

Beachcomber posted:

Shoplifting is a moral imperative as long as it's a big corporation.

- Some goons

Beachcomber posted:

He set his boundaries and communicated clearly without any bullshit. They both are free to find partners they'll be happier with.

quote:

My GF and I have been together for about a year. Most everything is great except one thing: If I tell her I'm sick/not feeling well/hurt she refuses to believe me. If I have a cold, she tells me I'm faking it until it goes away and then says "see, you are fine!" I'm rarely sick, so it's never been a major issue. But, she has zero sympathy when I'm sick.

She grew up with hypochondriac parents who were always "sick" with something, often self-diagnosing themselves with fatal maladies. She has limited contact with them and the time I met them, I was told (by them) that "they didn't have long left to live." I get it, growing up in that household must have been awful. But, what happened on Sunday just sent me over the edge.

GF and my sister [29/F] wanted to check-out this event and we were all supposed to go. I woke up with excruciating back pain and could barely breathe. GF got so mad at me for "ruining this" that she wouldn't speak to me. As she was about to leave I asked her not to leave because I thought something was wrong. She said no and left. I threw up in my bed and eventually called my parents (I was too embarrassed to call 9-1-1) and my mother and brother hauled me to the hospital.

I was whisked back and after ~20 minutes I was diagnosed with kidney stones. Fentanyl and gravol and I had a CT scan and then went for a procedure to bust the kidney stones. (Anyone questioning whether or not to have the procedure: DO IT. The side effects are nothing).

5 hours later and I was laying on my parent's sofa in a haze. I have never, and hope to never, feel pain like that again in my life. I was sure I was going to die. The attending in the ER told me it's worse than child birth and that they've had it before, too.

I didn't text my GF throughout because I really didn't have the strength or foresight. I was drugged up and uncomfortable. My sister found out that I had been in the emergency room and soon after my GF called me. She was pissed off I didn't call her. Then I reminded her that I begged her not to leave as I thought something was wrong. She got quiet and eked out an apology. I got furious and said something rather nasty things.. among them "f-off" and some other unsavory things.

In fairness, I was on dope, still sore, peeing blood and felt like someone had punched me in the gut. Standing was incredibly painful. I needed to take two days off of work & school, I rested in bed and the only thing you can think is "the person who should have been there didn't even believe me."

She's texted me this week a formal apology and wants one in return for saying nasty things to her. I've been avoiding her texts/calls. I've felt like poo poo this week and picked something up in the ER so I laid low, took a few days off work and relaxed. She wants to meet tonight and talk about everything, but I'm still so mad I don't know if I should hold off seeing her.

Is this as big a transgression as I feel like it is? Am I blowing this out of proportion because I felt so lovely?

I just am so annoyed and angry.

tl;dr GF didn't believe me something was wrong and I wound up in the ER with kidney stones and needed a procedure. She was mad that I didn't call her (I was too doped up) and then when I blew up at her she felt bad. I'm still mad at her. Am I blowing this out of proportion?

Mr. Lobe posted:

how nice to see someone standing up for the megacorps

someone's gotta stick up for the little guys after all

Lucrece posted:

Ahh yes, crop tops, leggings and a choker. The outfit of whores and harlots of old!

pentyne posted:

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/eq9k3e/29mmy_wife_27f_admit_shes_a_clopper_my_little/

[29m]My wife [27f] admit she's a "Clopper" (My Little Pony porn) and has basically gone crazy with it. Ordered a lifesize plushie and has it on the walls. What do I do?


Might be a best of contender for "furiously typed with 1 hand"

quote:

I (25f) have been with my fiance (29m) for four years now, engaged for a year. At the start of 2018, right after I finished college, I got an internship at a nationally syndicated radio show. I excelled at the job, and was promoted to assistant producer in less than a year. For a 23 year old recent college grad with no real work experience beyond the foodservice industry, this was a pretty big deal. I was very proud of myself.

Now, let's back track a bit. My fiance (we'll call him Jim) is an only child. His relationship with his parents is incredibly close. They always talk about how they are their own little unit, and that they exist in their “bubble” (their words, not mine). They refer to themselves as the "Three Musketeers" constantly. Jim talks alot about how his parents never left him with babysitters, never had true friends of their own, never even really went out on date nights as just a couple... it's always been the 3 of them.

Over the years, I've had to gently remind Jim that this is not necessarily the norm, and we've had to make certain adjustments and put up certain boundaries with his parents. I love his parents so much, but they seem to forget that not every family operates the same way they do. They didn't seem to realize that when a new person comes into the family, things will inevitably change. This is an example: I’m terrified of heights. Last time we were visiting Jim’s parents, they set up a day of rock climbing. Jim explained to them that heights scare me. They didn’t take this seriously. I ended up passing out while climbing. When they realized the severity of my phobia, instead of apologizing, they just seemed extremely confused. As if they genuinely couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t fall in love with rock climbing. They love it, so why wouldn’t I? I’m not kidding, from the look on their faces, you could tell they could not grasp how or why someone couldn’t enjoy it.

Here is another example: my fiancé and his parents are obsessed with science fiction. When I first met my fiancé, he rarely watched anything else. I’m not the biggest fan of science fiction, but I love my fiancé, and so I found ways to become interested. I really didn’t mind at all, especially because he was so willing to branch out from science fiction in return.

His parents, on the other hand, still revolve a large portion of their life around science fiction. They binge watch it. It's their automatic Netflix and Hulu go-to. On the weekends, they go to the movies and catch up on the latest science fiction release. Family movie night? It’s going to be something science-fiction related. That doesn’t bother me, everyone has their quirks. What bothers me is their reaction when non-science fiction related media is brought up. We were staying with them last Christmas, and I suggested we watch a Christmas film. They couldn’t even feign interest. They tried, but it was obvious that it was a painful and dull experience for them. I felt so awkward and embarrassed I suggested the Christmas movie less than 15 minutes in.

I’ve also noticed that they’re always sharing what’s going on in their lives, and their career, but they don’t seem to extend that same courtesy to others. My fiance’s mom is a teacher at an extremely ritzy old, private school on the east coast. She also coaches her school’s softball team. We’ll spend hours talking about her career, and her life with her students, but it’s incredibly hard for me to get a word in about what’s going on in my own life. They dominate the conversation.

A few months ago, our radio show was given a pretty outstanding journalism award. I was interviewed on live TV. I sent the link to the Youtube video to a bunch of close friends and family members. My Jim parents responded with, “Cool, we’ll check it out later!”. I brought it up a few weeks later, and it became quite obvious that they never watched. In fact, Jim and I realized they hadn’t listened to a single episode of the radio show. Whatsoever. In my (nearly) two years there.

Now, as I’d already felt some frustrations regarding the lack of true respect I feel from my fiance’s parents, this one really hurt. I don’t need to be patted on the back about my work, but for them to display such a blatant lack of care in my interests and passions, when I’m expected to constantly accommodate for theirs, is a slap in the face.

Jim was quite disappointed in his parents too, because he has noticed this hypocritical tendency of theirs. He’s also frustrated because he feels is though his relationship with his parents is quite conditional, often it is completely on their own terms without any thought to the fact that we are adults with our own thoughts, feelings, and interests that are just as valid.

Yesterday, he got a call from his parents asking if we’d like to order Chinese with them, stay in, and watch a Star Wars marathon. My fiancé asked if I’d like to go. I told him to go ahead, but I’d be staying behind. He asked why. I responded with, “Because I have absolutely no interest in spending my Friday night watching Star Wars. Once upon a time, I was willing to put myself out there and participate with these things with your parents even though they don’t interest me, because I care about them and thought they’d be willing to do the same for me. But, They’ve made it incredibly obvious over the past few months that they are not willing to do so, and so neither am I.”

According to Jim, I’m “being petty” and “holding onto a grudge” against his parents for the whole radio show debacle. I don’t understand how treating someone with the same energy that they treat you is holding a grudge.

​

TLDR: My fiance's parents can be slightly overbearing and "obsessed" with their way of doing things, without giving any of the same courtesy to us. My fiance doesn't seem to think it's nearly as big of a deal.

Beachcomber posted:

No one's gonna change this dude's mind about what he's looking for in a partner. It was just surprising to me that 1950s man is better at communicating than most of the other stories we read.

Shadow0 posted:

I have a friend who is *very* into MLP. He's very open about his MLP porn as well. A couple years ago, I was holding a going away party for myself, and he was invited as well.

He brought a laptop, and at some point, it went to screensaver. His screensaver was a slideshow of photos. The ensuing conversation went like this:
"Brad, is that pony porn?"
"Yes!"
"You have pony porn on your computer like that?"
"L-O-L, no! This is my work laptop!"
"So you have pony porn on your work laptop?!"
"Haha, there are real girls too! See? That one isn't a pony!"

The end result was that now a lot of my friends who were meeting him for the first time hate him. I think it's a shame because he's otherwise a fantastic person, but I can see why people are very put off by him.

Shadow0 posted:

I have a friend who is *very* into MLP. He's very open about his MLP porn as well. A couple years ago, I was holding a going away party for myself, and he was invited as well.

He brought a laptop, and at some point, it went to screensaver. His screensaver was a slideshow of photos. The ensuing conversation went like this:
"Brad, is that pony porn?"
"Yes!"
"You have pony porn on your computer like that?"
"L-O-L, no! This is my work laptop!"
"So you have pony porn on your work laptop?!"
"Haha, there are real girls too! See? That one isn't a pony!"

The end result was that now a lot of my friends who were meeting him for the first time hate him. I think it's a shame because he's otherwise a fantastic person, but I can see why people are very put off by him.

Foo Diddley posted:

Well apart from this one little thing where he likes to show cartoon horse vag to random people he's never met, he's a great guy, really. I take him with me wherever I go; it's not like people are going to get a bad impression of me because of his poo poo, right

quote:

Thanks up front Reddit users for reading my long-winded background.

I've always been kind of the goat with my family, and by that I don't mean "greatest of all time." I mean my family always kind of looked down on me and held me to unreasonable expectations. I think it's because other than my dad, I was the only male in the house. I didn't get any special consideration for being the youngest (not that I'd want any), and anyway that was rendered irrelevant once my youngest sister was born. She was sort of the golden child throughout our childhoods, but my oldest sister also had special pride of place for being the oldest kid. I was the middle kid and even though I'm male I got hand-me-downs from my sister as long as the clothes weren't too effemimate. As an adult I can see how that's practical and moneysaving, but as a child it was embarrassing and also hurtful to see your sisters constantly get new clothes and new bikes, while I had to wear girls' clothes and ride hand-me-down girl bikes. Interestingly my younger sister never had to wear hand-me-downs from my older sister.

My mom and sisters pretty much had an easy life while my dad was alive because they just rode him all day long and henpecked him until he died fifteen years ago from a heart attack. He was only 58. Growing up sometimes my dad tried to do special guy things with me but my mom shamed him into stopping it.

I just don't get it, why my mom was always so cynical and negative toward me. My hair was always too long or ugly, I was too skinny, then when I started working out in high school suddenly I was too muscular, then I was too tanned, then too pale, my grades weren't good enough, then once I got into a good school for college, it wasn't "that good." When I earned my degree in business, I was a "wannabe businessman fast food employee," when I got into graduate school for an MBA, it was a "stupid idea," (not like I asked anyone to help me pay for it), etc. Why do you dress like that? You look dumb. Why don't you own a house? Your car is old. No one will respect you.

You know how that goes.

I worked and earned my own pocket money starting at age fifteen with a job at a fast food restaurant, so that's why they all picked on me for working fast food. Eventually I became assistant manager of the restaurant at age twenty one, when I was almost done with college.

My sisters would often mock me for working in fast food, and my mom would too. It wasn't gentle ribbing or teasing, in a loving way. No. It was spiteful insults, trying to hurt my feelings and make me feel small. Speaking of feel small, I'm really tall (6'5") and they also made fun of me for never trying out or being good at basketball or caring about any other sports.

When my dad died he left everything to my mom, which is to be expected, including the house. He left me and each of my siblings ten thousand dollars just as some extra money, on the assumption that my mom would leave the kids everything equally upon her own death many years later. I already knew back then that my mom wouldn't leave me much, if anything, compared to my sisters. My sisters continued to live at home, but once I graduated college I moved across town to my own apartment. They weren't sad to see me go. I've been living on my own ever since. It's been going on almost twenty years now.

I grew up in a rather large house (this was Kansas, where it was possible for a normal dude like my father to own a big home), so when my sisters got married, their husbands moved in, too. Their husbands are both college educated guys but I could tell they enjoyed the idea of not having to pay for their own house or any rent. My dad had built a small guest house behind the home which he always told me would be mine when I grew up, but after he died I could tell my mom had the place earmarked for her daughter and future son in law. My older sister and husband stayed in my former room in the big house.

Well, whatever, right. I had my own thing going. These days I'm regional manager of a mid-sized restaurant chain (not fast food, but close haha) and although I'm not rich, I live quite comfortably. I could afford to put a downpayment on a house but I like the easy freedom of having an apartment. At thirty, I married my long-time girlfriend, who my mother and sisters always hated because she was Jewish and also eight years older than me. "Your girlfriend is too old! She will never have a baby!"

Well, none of them came to my wedding even though they were invited. We actually conceived a baby but my wife miscarried. My mom and sisters found out about it and rather than express any condolences at a woman who just lost a child, my mom and sisters treated me to unsolicted "I told you so" and didn't send my wife so much as a card.

I love my wife, and since we don't have kids, we have French bulldogs. We live in a big bungalow apartment with a yard for them, so whatever. My family mocks me for that, too. Like I'm not a man, because I don't have kids.

It's not like I accuse my sisters' husbands of not being men because they live in their mother in law's house. Everyone does their own thing.

My wife's family is somewhat successful in the furniture business and they're a lot nicer to me than my own family. My mother and father in law offered to buy me a new car (I drive a 2000 Honda Accord which is still in mint shape) just this year but I said no thanks, and they seemed to be impressed that I didn't accept gifts.

Well, after all that background, finally my point.

It seems my sisters and their husbands have had all sorts of business schemes and tried to open their own yoga studio, because I guess my sisters are into that stuff. Sort of the whole "Gee, I like coming to yoga class, so naturally I understand business economics and should open my own yoga studio!"

Personally I thought that the kind of boutique, expensive yoga studio they had in mind was more of a Manhattan or Beverly Hills thing and not a small town thing, but whatever it was none of my business, they never asked my advice, so I never said anything. Plus my sisters' husbands both fancied themselves business savvy (one of them sells insurance, the other works as a new accounts person at a bank) so it's not like my counsel was ever needed.

Of course they failed, and spectacularly so, and my mom foolishly put her house up as collatoral for the business. I'll admit that in a petty way I felt a bit of schadenfreude but overall I was upset especially because both of my sisters have small children (there are nine people living in my old house now).

Now the bank is threatening to take over their house if they don't come up with a certain sum of money.

It's a lot of money, but money that I happen to have, and they know it.

They all approached me with appeals (by phone message and TEXT--they've always known where I live but have NEVER once come to visit me) to how I should be a good brother and son and how "this is what my father would have wanted" and all that. Neither of my sisters' husbands have said a word to me about it and I doubt I'll see one penny of my money back if I "loaned" it to them.

My mom especially has been laying it on thick about how she's an old woman and will be cast out of her "familial home" and all that. She's even gone so far as to hint that my "rich Jewish wife's family" can pony up the dough.

I haven't yet returned any of their calls or texts yet.

I'm still thinking about how they all always have a big Christmas party every year and never invite me or my wife, partly because they don't like me, and partly because they don't like the "Jew." I know that if I confronted them about it they'd say "you're family, you don't need to be invited, just show up," but I know drat WELL they don't want me there.

My wife says it's up to me whether I want to help or not, but she also says that there is power in mercy.

I don't know, though. I think she's bigger than me in that way.

I'm looking for some outside perspectives on what to do here.

Thanks for any advice, Reddit!!!

---------

**TL;DR: my family has always been mean to me. Now they need money and want mine. What to do?**

therobit posted:

Sounds like maybe Blue Story.

Foo Diddley posted:

Well apart from this one little thing where he likes to show cartoon horse vag to random people he's never met, he's a great guy, really. I take him with me wherever I go; it's not like people are going to get a bad impression of me because of his poo poo, right

Shadow0 posted:

It's bad. He's been told it's bad. I haven't seen him since.

I honestly barely saw him even before the event anyway.

Otherwise good people can get so caught up in their own nonsense that they harm people. For as long as I knew him up until then, he had been a kind person, and it's regretful that he's become like this. That's what I was trying to express. I should have left that detail off, sorry.

luxury handset posted:

lol

like this isn't helpful but it's a good way of dealing with an office that is full of, apparently, d&d posters

chitoryu12 posted:

Sometimes I wonder if I drink enough when I come onto this forum.

Miss posted:

My [41M] family [71F, 42F, 40F] are trying to shame me into giving them money, after years of alienation

quote:

My girlfriend and I have been together for a long time. She came back from a long business trip to another state and confessed that she slept with another guy for a couple weeks.

I had been busy with work and kind of distant, and she had been wondering if I would ever be ready for marriage. She didn't know I was making plans to propose. This other guy told her everything she wanted to hear, made her feel wanted again, and she went along with it.

I never thought she was capable of it. Trust was such a big part of our relationship. I knew that this was impossible for us, but I was wrong. What's especially painful is that we talked several times while she was on this trip and she lied to my face. She even told me that we needed to talk when she got home (meaning that she had decided to confess) but kept sleeping with him in the meantime.

She's saying all the right things now. She says that it's the worst mistake of her life, that she doesn't know how she forgot how good our relationship i, that she just lost touch with her real life on this trip and now she's snapped back to reality and it will never ever happen again. She seems sincere. I believe her, despite everything. But I'm just so hurt. It just doesn't feel like this can really be my life. I know, abstractly, that people can work past this kind of thing, but I don't know how, and I don't really know if I should.

tl;dr: My girlfriend cheated on me. She confessed and wants to work through it, but it was just such an enormous breach of trust. Do people really heal? Should they?

Edit: I still feel love for her. I was ready to marry her, after all. And she had been wanting that for a long time. It happened so far away, when she was around a bunch of new people, and they were all telling her that I clearly don't love her because I would've proposed by now. She clearly regrets it. She's not good at faking that. Even now, so recently after it happened, I believe her when she says it will never happen again. I don't really care about the sex. I don't really care about the past. Only the future counts now. But how do I reconcile this with my old image of who she is? Everyone's human. Everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes big ones. Why should I throw away this relationship because of a mistake? Even with this hanging over us, I don't want to lose what we have. I just don't know how to understand it.

Edit 2: I'm going to leave for a while, but I'll keep reading responses. Please be patient with what I wrote below. I don't know if I really believe it. I just need to play devil's advocate. I need to hear both sides to process through it. Thanks to those who are helping me in that regard.

Edit 3: Jesus christ, people. I understand thinking that I need tough love, but be kind.

Edit 4: It's two months later. She cheated a second time and I broke up with her.

Motherfucker posted:

But you're a woman you should be stoked to be doing all this labor for us!!

Veni Vidi Ameche! posted:

Do not help your lovely family. Wait for the bank to take the house, then buy it for yourself and plaster your social media accounts with photos of you enjoying the house. You in the bath tub. You on the porch. You posing with dad's ashes in the den. You already have a house, so you'll have to make some time to enjoy the old place, what with traffic and everything, but you will give your lovely, scumbag relatives loving apoplexy, so it'll be time well spent.

PHIZ KALIFA posted:

like, i did get run out of seminary for not being islamophobic, i have lived in hella countries and got beat up by riot cops of multiple nationalities, my wife has weird pets and a baby, my mother used to make me climb into a well to fetch a ring she'd knowingly drop in as a punishment,

nankeen posted:

Wikipedia posted:

Studies suggest around 30–40% of unmarried relationships and 18–20% of marriages see at least one incident of sexual infidelity.

adhuin posted:

Does it really matter what the freeloader likes? Do your part of the chores or gtfo.