r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

cumshitter posted:

"four star piss pig certified for deep sea piss work."

# ? Feb 4, 2020 19:33

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:24

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

MagusofStars posted:

There�s a 100% chance that these people are just pissed that they didn�t think of doing that first.

Unless they really believe that doing any math or calculations isn�t in the �gambling spirit�, in which case there�s definitely a nearby casino owner who would love to meet them.

They're mad because even they'd thought of it they couldn't do it in a million years, so they think the kid who won had some natural advantage which makes it "unfair".

The 100% chance here is that they all own red hats.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 19:48

Mozi: Apr 4, 2004; Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die; Nap Ghost

i thought that was the whole point of those 'guess how many in the jar' games, where you're really supposed to try to do the math a bit

# ? Feb 4, 2020 19:57

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

my boss tapes people�s mouths shut during meetings

quote:

I recently started my first �real� job in a small office (eight people). We have strategy meetings every morning for about 30-45 minutes. My boss is REALLY intolerant of bad ideas. She keeps a tape dispenser on the table by her chair and whenever someone suggests something that she thinks is dumb, she will peel off a piece of masking tape and pass it to them, at which point they are required to put it over their mouths so they cannot contribute any more �bad� ideas for the rest of the meeting.

Needless to say, the first time I saw this, I was shocked! But my coworkers don�t seem too bothered by it. Or maybe they just don�t want to complain, I�m not sure. My boss can be kinda scary.

My issue with this is that enforcement of the rule seems arbitrary. It depends entirely on her mood. Some days, no one will �get taped,� but other days, if she is feeling particularly sour most of us, if not everyone, will end up �taped� and the meeting is just her dictating to us!

Is this normal? I�m thinking not. But does that make it inherently bad? Is there something I should do? Other than this idiosyncrasy, it is mostly a great job and she is, for the most part, a good boss.

Oh hellllllllll no. The Ask A Manager writer correctly sums this one up (basically "hosed up if true"):

quote:

If this is real, it�s one of the weirdest, most outrageous things I�ve heard in 13 years of writing this site. It�s abusive. And she is not a good boss.

I don�t typically tell people to leave their jobs based on one anecdote, but you should leave this job.

Fuck Your Website fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Feb 4, 2020

# ? Feb 4, 2020 20:11

rotinaj: Sep 5, 2008; Fun Shoe

TheDeadlyShoe posted:

I dunno, the military is an excellent source of incredible fuckup stories, no imperialism necessary

Yeah, getting to hear about idiots having to rake a large portion of sand to give it smooth lines, or getting to dig a hole and then fill in the hole is always nice.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 20:16

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Definitely would have given the biggest horse laugh at the idea of returning the money and immediately begin a campaign of busting their balls at every opportunity.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 20:56

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Why do my wife and her friend indulge in weird rituals?

quote:

For the past five years, my[30M] wife [33f] has been doing exceptionally well in her bjj/no-gi classes. She won the gold medal in five consecutive tournaments until she struck up a friendship with this strange woman [24F] who had recently relocated to our city and joined the same academy.

This woman claimed to be a child prodigy in the sport and regularly defeated my wife in their bouts. The gold medals started turning into silver and bronze.

Recently. I overheard this lady telling my wife that beautiful women rarely beat the "tomboyish" ones. My wife is an extremely good looking lady and works as a model while this friend of hers identifies herself with the "tomboy" variety.

I am worried that such ideas might ruin my wife's self-belief. She performs quite well when she faces the other women but **she always loses to this friend of hers.** Despite this, she calls that lady her best friend! They frequently go to movies and dine together. A few weeks back, when I returned home from work in the evening, I saw them watching television together. My wife's friend gave me a triumphant smile and proudly declared her victory over my wife in the final match of the tournament. I was so upset that I did not reply. My wife giggled as if nothing had happened.

In a one to one conversation with my wife, I bluntly asked her why she loses to the same woman every time and she simply replied that her friend was "much stronger". In fact, I happened to notice one of their practice bouts this Sunday.

My wife's friend held her in such a position where she could hardly breathe and released her only when my wife tapped her on the shoulder. I was scared she might die or something so I asked her friend to release her but she didn't. At the end of the bout, when my wife was getting up from the mat, her friend held her firmly and **slapped her bottom** several times. I found that extremely disagreeable but my wife did not seem to mind it so much and in fact, moved away only after her friend was done with this awful slapping ritual. I later asked my wife to set boundaries with her friend and say a firm "no" to all this butt-slapping. My wife said I was overreacting and though **she finds the butt slapping after a defeat quite embarrassing**, this ritual is actually an "acceptance of defeat". I am scared that a quarrel over this friend might strain our relationship. Is this friendship proving unhealthy for my wife?

TLDR: My wife always loses to a particular opponent, who happens to be her best friend. How do I prevent this lady from influencing my wife?

# ? Feb 4, 2020 20:57

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

> My wife's friend held her in such a position where she could hardly breathe and released her only when my wife tapped her on the shoulder.
so just normal BJJ submission protocol. He must not go watch a lot of practices.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:04

Stroop There It Is: Mar 11, 2012

kimbo305 posted:

> My wife's friend held her in such a position where she could hardly breathe and released her only when my wife tapped her on the shoulder.
so just normal BJJ submission protocol. He must not go watch a lot of practices.

does the butt-slapping also come standard

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:10

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

This guy seems to not understand martial arts in general, or the concept of a competitor not automatically disliking the person who beat them.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:11

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Varies from gym to gym. I'd say most people are not that casual with it, especially more than once.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:12

blackmongoose: Mar 31, 2011; DARK INFERNO ROOK!

Chomp8645 posted:

This guy seems to not understand martial arts in general, or the concept of a competitor not automatically disliking the person who beat them.

And yet he still figured out that spanking your opponent after you beat them is not a normal post-match activity

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:13

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

Propaniac posted:

Why do my wife and her friend indulge in weird rituals?

Wife wants to be dominated and spanked by a cute bjj lady so what?

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:32

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Licarn posted:

I think I'm in love with girlfriends twin sister

I feel like specifying that the twin sister was also 21 F was kind of unnecessary.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:34

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Seriously though, the wife and friend are probably loving.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:36

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

muscles like this! posted:

I feel like specifying that the twin sister was also 21 F was kind of unnecessary.

What if it was one of those twins like in the Dark Half where it's just a finger, an eyeball, and some teeth sticking out of his brain?

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:38

caterpillaropera: Aug 31, 2004; Who's gonna teach you to bump and grind?; Buglord

Pope Corky the IX posted:

What if it was one of those twins like in the Dark Half where it's just a finger, an eyeball, and some teeth sticking out of his brain?

The important thing is that there is a finger to put that engagement ring on.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:43

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Leon Einstein posted:

Seriously though, the wife and friend are probably loving.

Or she is really into Bdsm and this is the only was she thinks she can get it.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:43

a very large fish: Oct 18, 2012

This guy is a total weenie and just can't accept that his wife has a newer, stronger spouse when in reality, it should drive him insane with horny.

for real though that's all pretty normal behavior for friends in sports. Not hating who you're competing against is about the most healthy and adult reaction to losing but of course this reddit nerd can't fathom healthy behavior.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 21:53

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Is the spanking also a normal part of sports? They really need to televise that part more.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:01

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

How quickly we forget Butt Bongo Fiesta.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:03

CrowdControl: Aug 2, 2011; Uhh Tommy, I think I'm just gonna sleep at my house tonight...

Sunswipe posted:

Is the spanking also a normal part of sports? They really need to televise that part more.

Excessive spanking was really big in the high school wrestling team I joined. But half of the team turn out to be VERY in the closet and slowly came out in the decade after highscool so there was probably a sexual element to it.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:04

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Sunswipe posted:

Is the spanking also a normal part of sports? They really need to televise that part more.

Are you serious? There is constant butt slapping in nearly every televised sport.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:04

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Sunswipe posted:

Is the spanking also a normal part of sports? They really need to televise that part more.

Watch football, every play ends in a flurry of rear end-slapping.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:06

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Excessive rear end slapping in sports is a serious problem and we shouldn't be making light of it

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:09

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Some motherfuckers are just slap happy.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:12

CrowdControl: Aug 2, 2011; Uhh Tommy, I think I'm just gonna sleep at my house tonight...

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

Watch football, every play ends in a flurry of rear end-slapping.

I don't think that's in question, but how many consecutive spanks until it gets wierd.

I think we can all agree that you can spank once, that's fine, spank twice it's ok, but spank it 3 times, ?????

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:12

Fuck Your Website: Nov 29, 2003; FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR WEBSITE

Chomp8645 posted:

This guy seems to not understand martial arts in general, or the concept of a competitor not automatically disliking the person who beat them.

I was instantly angry

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:13

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

CrowdControl posted:

I don't think that's in question, but how many consecutive spanks until it gets wierd.

I think we can all agree that you can spank once, that's fine, spank twice it's ok, but spank it 3 times, ?????

After that the butt legally becomes a percussion instrument.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:14

Kuros: Sep 13, 2010; Oh look, the consequences of my prior actions are finally catching up to me.

CrowdControl posted:

but spank it 3 times, ?????

Take me on a date if you're gonna spank it 3 times. I'm a classy bitch.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:15

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Kinda want to start a poll as to spanking in sports around the world, 'cos it's not a thing in the UK. And we loving LOVE spanking over here.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:16

Dr. Platypus: Oct 25, 2007

I've done judo for a while (which is very similar to BJJ) and I gotta say, not once has my rear end been slapped.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:22

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

My [24/F] SO [24/M] clothes smell like mildew and it is causing fights

quote:

Context: Been together for 2 months shy of 3 years. Everything is rainbows and butterflies. We get into spats now and then, but who doesn't?

This problem I am referencing has been a problem now since Dec 2018. His clothes started smelling so bad from mildew that it made me almost vomit. I eventually brought this up to him as politely as I could once it became a prominent issue. He told me he'd fix it.

Sometimes it will come and go but this has been a frequent fight. I have offered to wash his clothes multiple times and 2 times my family and I have because we fought about it and I basically forced him. He will refuse for me to wash them, no matter how bad it smells.

It's like he thinks I am being dramatic or hateful. He will tell me he can't smell it or how he just washed whatever item of clothing. My family (I still live at home) smells it on him and says it stinks my room up really bad. I can smell this too in my room. It embarrasses me that they smell this and my mom has also almost thrown up from the smell.

I have brought up as health issues. I have told him multiple times how mildew is mold and I don't want him or anybody breathing it in. He acts like it is serious but does nothing. It is strange too because he showers 1-3 times a day. He isn't really a person who ignores personal hygiene.

This happened again this past Saturday. I am at my wits end with this. I don't know what else to do or how to convey. I am tired of acting like an evil/hateful person about this. I am also worried his coworkers will smell it on him and that he will get in trouble.

TL;DR: SO's clothes smell like mildew. Argued about this multiple times. I am annoyed and embarrassed. Help?

Solomon Grundy? Swamp Thing? Normal Redditor?

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:24

Odd: Dec 30, 2006; I think everybody just needs to maybe cool out a little maybe

Dr. Platypus posted:

I've done judo for a while (which is very similar to BJJ) and I gotta say, not once has my rear end been slapped.

How come you didn't make any friends at karate, your mother and i paid a lot for those classes

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:29

Mr. Fall Down Terror: Jan 24, 2018; by Fluffdaddy

Xenocides posted:

My [24/F] SO [24/M] clothes smell like mildew and it is causing fights

Solomon Grundy? Swamp Thing? Normal Redditor?

either he wears his synthetic gym clothes all the time or his washing machine is nasty with bacteria. he needs to dump some vinegar in there

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:38

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

How can I (32F) be a better friend to my male friends (26-40M) with low self-esteem?

quote:

I wasn't sure where to post this, but as this is a topic I am struggling to find answers on, I was hoping I could get some advice or even perspective here. It should be noted that though I am only referring to a few people in my life, it is a growing pattern I have seen almost exclusively with men, and would like to find ways to handle.

Since I was young, I have befriended a lot of guys (90% in the United States), many of whom have come from rougher backgrounds in a world that hasn't been the most encouraging in terms of offering spaces and opportunities to express common emotions that they have been trained to keep buried out of fear of judgment or ridicule. It is nice to see that this mentality has been shifting, but there is no doubt that remnants of it still remain. As someone who has come from a history of abuse, I tend to deeply sympathize with those who feel like they have no support and have often tried to play the role of a listening ear and an opposing voice to those dark thoughts and harsh words that can cause one to feel worthless and unloved.

As I have gotten older, I have managed to break away from my own past and have met good people, traveled the world, and accomplished a lot of goals I never imagined possible. Unfortunately, this has come with the unintended side effect of a surprising number of men I know, both old friends and new acquaintances, to grow resentful or just plain depressed about the state of their own lives. Though only a few people have outright attacked me or attempted to drag me down, there have been a lot of comparisons made that has left everyone from my male friends to those I have been in romantic relationships with feeling like "losers" or "failures" without me ever suggesting anything of the sort. I have also had some guys I considered friends questioning why I deserved any of the successes I got while they had nothing, or worse, why I would waste my time with them when I (according to them) have better things going on.

Trying to help or push back in ways I thought might be supportive have not been so great. Any attempts at constructive criticism, such as offering to review resumes for unemployed friends or providing feedback on work that I'm specialized in, have been met with defensive responses ranging from belittling my abilities to them feeling stupid for not being able to do things on their own. Efforts to try and help out in practical ways, such as sending money so that they can keep the lights on or cooking up meals when they have nothing to eat, have resulted in the bruising of their pride while leaving them feeling indebted, despite my constant reassurance that I want nothing in return. I have even tried to take on a more hands-off approach of letting them vent while simply sharing words of support, but this has often resulted in them feeling ignored or me getting hurt when they begin saying horrible things about themselves on my behalf (ie: "I know you think I'm a loser and you're just too nice to say it.").

I have tried talking to others about it, and the common replies are often along the lines of not catering to egos or feeding into what is assumed to be some form of fragile masculinity. While I understand the sentiment, I gain no joy or satisfaction in making anyone in my life feel worse when they're already feeling down, especially when they are likely in a negative place to begin with. Perhaps I am far too sensitive, but it kills me to see people I care about lash out at themselves while calling themselves losers and wishing they were dead. I have considered recommending therapy, but most don't have the means, and simply suggesting such a thing is often taken as a direct attack that only seems to do more damage to their pride.

I understand that this is insanely long, and would like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read this. I guess my question ultimately is, is there a certain way that people, specifically men, who are struggling with issues regarding self-worth can be approached?

TL;DR: How can one navigate around fractured pride and/or self-esteem, especially that of men, without causing further damage?

Run.

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:39

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

They said opening relationships would lead to new experiences:

My husband keeps getting stood up by his FWB and I don�t know how to support him.

quote:

We opened our marriage rather recently and the hubs has had one main FWB since that point. More friends than benefits since she lives a few hours away, but she does regularly travel to our area. However, the last three or four times she�s been up here, she�s promised to meet up with him and then cancels on him. Tonight she actually stood him up - he had the hotel room and everything. He�s crushed. I expected it. Everything I�ve gathered from them talking is he�s a good friend to her, always there when she needs someone to talk to, but she�s rarely there in return. I�ve been telling him it�s unhealthy to keep trying so hard for nothing in return but he always ignores me because he wants to gently caress her one more time before breaking things off. I don�t know how to support him, it�s as if suddenly he thinks his self worth is defined by if other women (specifically her) are willing to sleep with him or not. It�s not like this is his first �break up,� he�s had other FWBs and a relationship before our relationship that he survived just fine without the soul crushing self pity and self deprecation (in fact one of those FWB remains a good friend even though the physical relationship is gone). I wanna be supportive of him but I can have a tendency to be a little �I told you so� and I know that�s not the right answer here.

My husband�s side piece keeps flaking out on their sex appointments. How do I comfort him?

Xenocides fucked around with this message at 23:19 on Feb 4, 2020

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:41

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

haveblue posted:

Excessive rear end slapping in sports is a serious problem and we shouldn't be making light of it

This is the best possible response to this subject

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:50

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

Xenocides posted:

My [24/F] SO [24/M] clothes smell like mildew and it is causing fights

How desperate and sad do you have to be to put up with this for over a year without breaking up?

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:51

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:24

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

Key and Peele suck so goddamn hard.

*makes zany face

# ? Feb 4, 2020 22:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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