- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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AITA for not wanting my wife to "invest" our money into MLM
A divorce is literally cheaper than this MLM thing will be, take her up on her offer to ruin someone elses finances
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Feb 15, 2020 03:27
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 21, 2024 11:45
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- DreamingofRoses
- Jun 27, 2013
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Nap Ghost
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Advice on banishing someone from my life
Spells don’t work when you self-sabotage. Also, there’s a whiff of breaking the Rede there
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Feb 15, 2020 03:28
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- Gibbon
- Feb 22, 2004
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chang chang!
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How good are lasagna posts, I never knew it was such a spicy topic
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Feb 15, 2020 03:30
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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Meatballs are spicy, lasagnas are blood
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Feb 15, 2020 03:33
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- Xenocides
- Jan 14, 2008
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This world looks very scary....
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Help guys I'm stuck
quote:So I am 14m, and I've never been in a relationship before, and this girl (14f)asked me out. I said yes. I've liked her on and off for about a year. Anyway, I know that one of my best friends (14m) likes her too, maybe more than me.
I started to encourage him to ask her out and I made it seem like she likes him. Then she asked me out and I started to encourage him to maybe find someone else because she doesn't like him and I don't want to set him up to fail. He now thinks that he is ready to move on (he goes to a different school) but I don't want to immediately start dating the girl he likes.
And then there is the matter of this other lad (14m) of whom I will call Greg. Greg likes her too. He told me this at his pizza party we went to. When he did tell me he said "so hands off". Which I think is kinda sexist, but thats not the point. Anyway, the girl who asked me out doesn't like him either. For now, I've told her to wait while I sort this stuff out, but she's getting impatient. We can't make it seem like she made the first move because she said some stuff to her friends.
Tldr: We can't make it seem like I have mad the first move because my first friend and Greg like her. Tell me if this doesn't make sense, and sorry, this is my first time posting here.
This guy is courting disaster by violating the laws of dibs.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 03:42
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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Guess the show
Me [22 F] with husband [24 M], of 2 years. He's not okay with a t shirt I have from a popular cartoon show
quote:
I like the show Bob's Burgers. So does my husband. Recently I went to the mall with a friend and got a shirt with Tina Belcher on it. It has the text 'I put on my bra like everybody else, one boob at a time'. I thought it was hilarious, even though it's silly.
My husband saw the shirt and told me that it was inappropriate. I have pretty large boobs and he often feels uncomfortable when I wear something that draws attention to them. Because he thinks it's not cool to give random guys boners when they're just doing their job as cashiers/walking around with their SO. His words, not mine. I'm not even attractive. He says that with this shirt everyone is going to imagine me putting on my bra.
Anyway, I thought that the shirt is pretty funny. Hell, even my stepmom liked it when I sent her a picture and she's old-ish and conservative. They sell it at a store that's popular among young teenagers, and most people know it's from a cartoon and those who don't know the show would probably realize it is a reference.
The issue is not that he thinks it's immature to wear a shirt from a tv show. I have several and so does he.
I have absolutely no problem with not wearing the shirt. However, I do think it's a bit silly and am interested in your opinion. Is it inappropriate?
tl;dr: Got t-shirt from a cartoon with reference to bras. Husband thinks it's inappropriate. Is he right?
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 03:53
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- avoid doorways
- Jun 6, 2010
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'twas brillig
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Gun Saliva
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AITA for confronting a woman in public about her children possibly being mine?
quote:This is going to sound bad. I slept with a woman on Tinder back when it was fairly new. I mostly forgot about it, it was a random hookup after all. She was beautiful, but had a pretty unique facial feature. 6 months ago, I looked at a friend's profile and saw her. She had a completely different name, but I honestly believe that the name she was using on Tinder was fake.
Problem is, she had two kids in the picture whose ages line up exactly with our hookup. She was married, and according to her profile, had been married during our fling. One of the kids looks exactly like me as a kid. Like exactly. The kicker is that she has fairly recent posts about how to support "secondary male infertility". I don't particularly care if she was cheating or what, but I strongly believe that her husband's issues aren't recent.
I believe those are my children. I want to be a father to them. It's not her right to unilaterally decide that I'm some kind of sperm donor for her. I messaged her on Facebook about it, and she never responded. We live in the same city, and she has an unfortunate habit of checking in to places apparently.
I ran into her, and I decided to start the conversation that needed to happen. She acted bewildered, and claimed we had never met. I told her the fake name, and she said her name was [not fake name]. She accused me of harassing her and made a scene, so I left. I'm seeking legal advice on what I can do to know the truth, but was I wrong to try to have a civil conversation with her first?
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Feb 15, 2020 03:54
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- the holy poopacy
- May 16, 2009
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hey! check this out
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Fun Shoe
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Guess the show
Me [22 F] with husband [24 M], of 2 years. He's not okay with a t shirt I have from a popular cartoon show
He's afraid you secretly fantasize about cucking him with an entire team of zombie basketball players, and he ain't wrong.
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Feb 15, 2020 04:22
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- SilvergunSuperman
- Aug 7, 2010
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How good are lasagna posts, I never knew it was such a spicy topic
I'm still upset the guy with the Indian father's lasagna recipe never posted it.
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Feb 15, 2020 04:48
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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My (26F) fiancee (28M) says I am not American, despite being born and raised here.
quote:
Been together for 3 years- supposed to be getting married in December.
To start off, my family is from India. My parents were born and raised in India. Me, my brother, and my sister were all born here in the US and raised here. I have only visited India once when I was about 10 to meet my extended family and grandparents, and I haven't been back since. I can't even speak a word of punjabi. I was very grateful that my parents were more integrating than other Indian families I knew growing up. My mother would make traditional Indian food, but she would also mix it up a lot and make mac and cheese or burgers (chicken or imitation beef, though she didn't mind if we bought mcdonalds outside of the house). My parents encouraged us to join sports and do other extracurriculars that would let us bond with the kids who went to our school, rather than just hang out with the indian kids from other indian families just because they were indian. My dad always said that he saw so many people get stuck in their ways because they never ventured out of what was familiar to them.
So fast forward to 3 years ago, I met my fiancee Alan. What I liked about him was that he didn't make it a point that we were this exotic interracial couple. He didn't treat me differently than anyone else. We of course talked about my family and he knew that my parents were from India but that me and my siblings had grown up here. He never said anything that came off ignorant, which was very refreshing considering how every guy I had dated before that had had some weird Indian chick fetish that gradually came out during the relationship.
He proposed 6 months ago.
Until about a month ago, things were going well and we were planning our wedding that we decided to have in December. He asked me if we were going to have an American or Indian wedding (or both) and I replied we were just going to have an American wedding because I really didn't know anything about an Indian one and my family really isn't traditional like that so they weren't fussed. Alan seemed surprised and when I asked why he said "Well I mean, you're Indian. I just thought we were going to also celebrate accordingly."
I asked him jokingly if we were going to have beer steins and if he was going to wear liederhosen at our wedding. He gave me a completely baffled look and said no, and I said "Well it's the same sentiment really. You and I were both raised here, we're both American." to which he said "Yea, but, well, not really. You're Indian-American."
It turned into an argument where I challenged him and asked him why he's not calling himself German-American or Irish-American since thats where his grandparents hail from. He never gave me a solid answer. Everything was vague and a lot of blubbering began to happen the more I asked him why he could be just American but I needed to clarification of a hyphen in there.
We never resolved the issue. We just ended sweeping it under the rug and didn't talk about it again, until this week. At dinner with his parents, the issue of an indian wedding came up again. I politely told them no, that we wouldn't be doing that as my parents aren't traditional and that's the only reason I'd be having an indian wedding. Alan pipes up and says its a shame because "you Indians do weddings way better than us Americans", nodding towards his mom and dad. I asked him right there what he meant, because I was also American. He said, "Well, you know what I mean. Like, you're Indian, and we're white."
It left a really sour taste in my mouth. And then I got to thinking about what happens after we get married and decide to have kids. Kids born here, in America. Are they going to have to deal with their dad continually reminding them that because they're a bit more brown that they're "not really" American? I know people will say some ignorant things because woohoo for racism, but I don't want the first instance of prejudice to come from their own father. I don't want my kids to feel the way I do when someone insists on slapping the Indian-American label on me because I look one way and talk/act another.
This is honestly making me rethink the wedding, but I don't know if I'm overreacting here or if my feelings are valid. I don't even really know how to approach my fiancee about this whole issue without coming off bitter or angry. I'm not saying that I don't know what my heritage is, but the fact is, I was raised here. My ties to India are purely because my parents happened to be born there. I don't want to have to staddle two worlds because I'm not even really part of one, and I don't want my kids to feel that way either.
tl;dr: Fiancee has some skewed view about who can be just American. It's making me rethink the wedding unless I can find a way to discuss this with him, but just the fact he can think this way in 2015 is upsetting to me.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 05:14
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- titty_baby_
- Nov 11, 2015
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My (26F) fiancee (28M) says I am not American, despite being born and raised here.
That bitch needs to wear his lederhosen
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Feb 15, 2020 05:18
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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And yes, the fact this annoys me is totally irrational.
dogg, society isn't going to be stable enough for any of this to matter in 5 years. smoke a blunt the size of a baby's leg and reevaluate poo poo, jesus christ.
edit- i care because my wife and i made up a new name out of smushed syllables from our other two names and only after making it legal did we think to check if it meant anything and, surprise surprise, it's a latin term for a rude sex technique.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 05:34
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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Me [30M] with my pregnant wife [25F] 4 years. Childhood friend tried to break a bottle over her head at her family reunion. Wife's family wants her to apologize to the friend. Wife is torn, and now wonders if she should just dump the family and move on.
quote:
So here's the situation:
My wife grew up with a really sensitive family. That's the best way I can put it. Her family was manipulative, controlling, and downright mean. Narcissists? Easily all of them, really. Except one of her sisters who is so traumatized by their family's social dynamic that she chokes up and cries if my wife talks about it. My wife happily overcame it and got out at 18. She shelter hopped while getting her education and made it all on her own. We met when she was at the highest point of her new freedom and I'd never known anyone happier. Knowing this, when we married she seriously nitpicked who was at the wedding. She has contact with maybe 5 people at the most from her side of the family and everyone else are quite distant.
She has a few on her facebook. They never talk to her, so she forgets they exist. So this is about one of them who isn't really even a part of her family. When my wife was a pre-teen her aunt on her mom's side had a high school friend named Jane. Jane had like five kids. All different dads. Not on good terms with any of the dads and jumped from boyfriend to boyfriend. They invited Jane on a vacation to California once with her kids. Not all of them, just the youngest two. Her daughter (Karen) and her three year old son (Donald). My wife described Karen as 'the worst'.
Apparently, even though Karen is around my wife's age (like two years younger maybe), she had this insane control issue and totally lacked a filter. She was constantly neck and neck with my wife as kids trying to assert herself as the dominant kid on the vacation. She would write lists for my wife and her siblings to obey, she would get mad and fly into rages if they didn't follow them, and even hit my wife's youngest sister (who has a heart condition) and called her slow and fat. Apparently that was the breaking point and my wife told me she 'calmly got up, dragged Karen by her hair to the door, and literally slapped her until she was out the door of the hotel room and locked her out'. After explaining why Karen wasn't in the room to her aunt, my wife's aunt just sighed and hugged my wife and told her Karen could sleep in her room so that she wouldn't bother any of the children.
Before the trip ended Karen was forced to apologize to my wife and used this as the reason, "Sorry I hit your sister and yelled at you. My dad used to r*pe me all the time and I don't have a dad but you do so I hate you."
Jane turned totally red and never joined them on a vacation again. Later my wife asked her mom if that was true and her mom answered, "Karen doesn't know who her dad is. So no, that isn't true. Jane doesn't let her boyfriends stay over."
She saw Karen later in life when they were teenagers. Karen calmed down significantly but kept bugging my wife to get her alone to try and help her search for her real dad on myspace. My wife politely refused and Karen flew into a rage and bit her. My wife slapped her across the face and told her to check herself and stop initiating fights. She called her out for lying about her dad and told her that lying about r*pe can ruin lives and to never do it again. Karen cried and ran to her mom who did nothing because she thought it would be ridiculous to harp on a teenager for dumb poo poo like that. After that Karen never spoke to my wife again.
So after my wife struggled through adulthood to get to where she is, she actually went to therapy and got great advice on setting boundaries with family. Now her mother and her get along fine and her mother shed her abusive behavior and is supportive and kind. My wife's aunt somewhat deteriorated and went through a depression spell (46 year old woman who went out and got inseminated for God knows why and has a newborn now) so my wife distanced herself from her. She gets along with her stepdad who was always pretty nice and she gets along with her siblings who grew out of their abusive tendencies as well.
Now, beginning of March my wife saw something pop up on her facebook feed. An article posted by Karen. My wife didn't register who posted it because she doesn't usually look at the poster anyways. She just likes or ignores. Someone on the article was just being straight up horrendous and my wife corrected them on their behavior. She wasn't rude about it, and the person wasn't discussing the article anyways. They were using it to push their own agenda and ended up posting someone's personal information to try and get people to go shame that person for having an opposing view. Wife reported it and called the guy out.
Karen, even though she was arguing against the guy, told my wife to quit being rude to people on her profile. Wife just laughed and deleted Karen and moved on. She told me it was stupid to get involved and she forgot she had that girl added and didn't care if Karen was on her friend's list.
So fast forward to this month. This week is my wife's family reunion. She was invited every year for three years and never wanted to go. This year she decided she was in a place with her family where she could comfortably go. She figured she'd use this reunion as an opportunity to announce our pregnancy.
So we're at the reunion freaking yesterday and guess who's there. Karen. My wife was a little surprised because she even told me that it didn't feel like her family really liked them anyways. The final straw was that last time when Karen bit my wife. Apparently in that same visit their family gave my wife's aunt's family scabies and they were deemed dirty and nobody wanted to visit with them again.
Well I figured it would be awkward for my wife to talk to Karen and my wife agreed so we ignored her. She approached my wife, smelling like beer, and told her, "I'm sorry for getting upset on Facebook the other day (month ago). You weren't being nice to my friends and I just can't have that. Being blunt isn't appreciative when it starts to hurt feelings. Hope you understand."
My wife just smiled and said, "I'm gonna need you to leave me alone. I haven't seen my family in years and would appreciate it if you'd find somebody else to talk to while I enjoy this day."
Karen rolled her eyes and said, "Whatever bitch."
My wife just chuckled and turned to the group and was like, "Well ooo-kay anyways!" and suddenly out of freaking nowhere I see Karen move really quick out of the corner of my eye. Thankfully, my wife's stepdad was right next to her and grabbed her hand and I hear, "Did you just try to break a beer bottle over my daughter's head."
That's when Karen starts blubbering and crying and saying that my wife was always mean and thought she was better than everyone else and her dad rped her when she was a kid so she only knows violence etc. My wife just rolls her eyes and says, "Again with the lies. What a cnt." and walks away and I followed. Karen was asked to leave with Jane and Donald and we thought that was the end of it.
Right before my wife planned to announce her pregnancy my wife's aunt walks up to her and tells her she needs to leave too. She told her that using the word 'c*nt' at a family reunion was enough to get kicked out over and that she was always really standoffish to Karen and never gave her a chance. My wife's mom joined up and said it can be fixed if she just agrees to apologize to Karen and moves on from instigating fights with her.
My wife just downed the rest of her grape juice, walked out into the middle of everyone and yelled out, "I'm pregnant. Cool huh? And nobody here will ever get to meet the baby. Peace c*nts."
And we left.
We drove back to our hotel and decided instead of talking to family or answering calls we'd go to the beach and enjoy a new vacation and then go home.
Here's the issue though. It's 3 in the afternoon and we haven't left because my wife can't stop crying. She feels so alienated from her family and alone. She feels like maybe she did take it over the top, and that her family will never side with her because she's so blunt about everything and she doesn't want to break off forever and go no contact but now she feels like it's her only option after her outburst.
I feel bad. I'm not in a place to give her advice because I truly don't know what I'd do. So that's why I'm here. How would any of you console my wife at this point and how can we either remedy this or comfortably stick to a no contact plan and ride off into the sunset drama free with a cute baby on the way?
TLDR: Wife's childhood "friend" had an abusive outburst at our family reunion over a Facebook post. Tried to break a bottle over my wife's head. Wife called her out, and called her a pretty bad name, and now wife's family is urging her to apologize or not be invited to events in the future. Wife left with a great exit speech and is now crying in our hotel room because she worked so hard to get to a place where she got along with her family and now she feels forced to cut contact to save her pride. Need advice on how to talk her through this.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 05:42
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- AKA Pseudonym
- May 16, 2004
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A dashing and sophisticated young man
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Doctor Rope
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Dating a VERY distant relative, and my mom is mad
If that's not just a distant relative but a VERY distant relative, then what's a close relative? Yourself?
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 05:50
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- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
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My (26F) fiancee (28M) says I am not American, despite being born and raised here.
Dude doesnt sound American, I think hes only with you for the greencard
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:01
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- Liquid Communism
- Mar 9, 2004
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коммунизм хранится в яичках
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Me [30M] with my pregnant wife [25F] 4 years. Childhood friend tried to break a bottle over her head at her family reunion. Wife's family wants her to apologize to the friend. Wife is torn, and now wonders if she should just dump the family and move on.
Just tell her she should have given Karen a Stone Cold Stunner before walking out. That's the Way.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:27
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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I (M31) am unsure how to feel about my gf's (F27) bizarre hobby. Need advice.
quote:
My gf (M31, F27) and I have been dating for just over a year, this sounds so cliché, but she is almost perfect for me; she is really into health and fitness, has an excellent career that she worked really hard for, is great in bed, kind and intelligent. But...
She lives in a basement suite which is nicely decorated and she keeps very clean.
Any of you that have lived in a basement suit before know that, no matter what you do, you get bugs: Ants, piddle bugs, beetles and ... Spiders.
I spend a fair amount of time at her place and noticed right away that there was a spider in almost every corner. I asked her about it and she told me she doesn't kill them because they eat the other bugs... Ok. I did some light research and sure enough she was right. I found it a little creepy but not a deal breaker... Here is where things get weird:
About a week and a half ago I was using her computer and noticed a spread sheet called "babies", curiously got the best of me and I opened it. She loving named all of the spiders, kills the other bugs and feeds them to the spiders and keeps track of it all in a creepy rear end spread sheet! She keeps track of their "food", their color, size, web size and some other poo poo that I didn't really understand.
I closed the spread sheet after I realized what it was about because I felt bad for snooping and was honestly pretty disturbed.
I really love her and don't want to break up but am afraid that this is a sign of mental illness. Has any one ever heard of anything like this before? Should I say something to her? Is it ok for me to ask her to stop? Is this really that big of a deal?
TL;DR: Gf is a crazy spider lady
EDIT: I know I'm an rear end in a top hat for snooping
EDIT: we live in Australia
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:31
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- Mister Olympus
- Oct 31, 2011
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Buzzard, Who Steals From Dead Bodies
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Why is Karen at the family reunion anyway? She's the child of an aunt's high school friend, not even remotely related. I also took a few minutes to parse out how the hell Karen was even relevant in the first place
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:33
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- Snowglobe of Doom
- Mar 30, 2012
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sucks to be right
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I (M31) am unsure how to feel about my gf's (F27) bizarre hobby. Need advice.
I also live in Australia and I know at least one other person who names the spiders in his house and feeds them bugs and posts FB updates about them gets sad when they eventually die. Dunno if he keeps spreadsheets on them tho.
I also don't mind spiders living in my house or my yard and I just leave them be whenever they turn up because they keep the bugs under control but I don't usually name them.
Edit: when I was a kid every huntsman spider that appeared in our house was named George because my dad had a weird sense of humour.
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Feb 15, 2020 06:40
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- Snowglobe of Doom
- Mar 30, 2012
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sucks to be right
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Not sure anyone here calls them piddle bugs either.
It's a regional dialect. From Upstate NSW.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:47
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- PHIZ KALIFA
- Dec 21, 2011
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#mood
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i assumed they were pillbugs or isopods but it turns out "piddlebug" is another term for squirrel. she's feeding squirrels to spiders.
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:57
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- Snowglobe of Doom
- Mar 30, 2012
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sucks to be right
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i assumed they were pillbugs or isopods but it turns out "piddlebug" is another term for squirrel. she's feeding squirrels to spiders.
Checks out
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 06:59
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- Power Khan
- Aug 20, 2011
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by Fritz the Horse
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AITA for telling my 17 year old foster daughter that she needs to marry her boyfriend as soon as possible?
I realize that this sounds horrible. I usually would never support let alone encourage something like this, and I never thought that being a foster parent would involve encouraging teenagers to get married.
My foster daughter is 17, we'll call her Anna. Anna has a chronic, lifelong medical condition that is very, very difficult to get fully covered by medical insurance. Many people with her condition end up rationing their medication and die horrible deaths as a result. This condition doesn't qualify her for Medicaid on its own like HIV does.
She has a "boyfriend". Legally, she's not supposed to, so I have to pretend I don't know, but we do have rules about it. They're childhood best friends, from even before she was in foster care, and the relationship has only recently become more than friends. He's 18, and will be 19 shortly after she turns 18. They're responsible, and they're not unsupervised ever. He's joined a branch of the military (trying to be vague here). He understands the situation, and has offered to marry her.
She's turning 18 soon, and with that, means an end to her having insurance. Marrying her boyfriend would give her tricare, which is arguably the best coverage available. The medical insurance would be a lifesaver for her. Beyond that, the housing allowance would give her (and him) a stable home base to purse educational goals that she wouldn't have access to otherwise. There are scholarships for former foster youth, but they're worthless if she's homeless and dying. With medical care and a stable home, she can have a real future. They have a stable friendship if nothing else, and they both understand struggle.
I hate that this is the case, but the best case scenario for her is to marry this guy at 18. I've encouraged her to do it and laid out the facts and benefits. She can't stay with me for very long past her birthday. I can keep her for a month so she can graduate high school, but long term isn't possible financially, and she needs insurance. My friends think I'm horrible for encouraging a teenager to get married regardless of circumstance and seem to live in a dream world where there has to be another way.
Lmao, rationing your meds. Totally normal in the US
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 07:11
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- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
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I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
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My [23F] roommate [25F] gives me weird birthday presents, how do I reject her kindly?
quote:
Last year was a framed picture of her cat, a book on how to make craft projects using cat fur, since I "like crafting", and a small container of cat fur. She wants me to use the cat fur to make her something from the book.
I can deal with weird one-off gifts, but now she keeps pestering me to ask if it's done. Then saying "I thought you were really passionate about your craft projects" when I say I'm not interested in making it. I tried telling her it's kind of weird, but she seems blind to believing it. I was also disappointed she gave me something only to make something for her, but I don't know how to say this without sounding ungrateful. And this was the first "personal" gift from her to me. She's previously given me similar gifts where she gets something out of it, like a game she likes so we can play it together, a juicer we can share in the house (she drinks juice I don't). To make matters worst, for these more expensive gifts, she'll get friends of mine to chip in, so she won't have to buy them for herself.
Normally I would distance myself slowly from such friends, but my current living situation means I will see more of her in the future. So I would like to establish that this doesn't sit well with me, in a kind manner.
Tl;dr Friend gave me cat fur as a present, how to I turn down keeping it/using it in my "craft projects".
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 07:22
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- Power Khan
- Aug 20, 2011
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by Fritz the Horse
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Me [30M] with my pregnant wife [25F] 4 years. Childhood friend tried to break a bottle over her head at her family reunion. Wife's family wants her to apologize to the friend. Wife is torn, and now wonders if she should just dump the family and move on.
What a family
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#
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Feb 15, 2020 07:34
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- DeadMansSuspenders
- Jan 10, 2012
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I wanna be your left hand man
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I [25M] had sex with my disabled friend [24F]. It made her happy but I'm feeling guilty.
quote:My friend Lana is disabled in her legs, result of the accident when she was 14. So she's in a wheelchair. She also has movement issues in the rest of her body.
We've known each other for a few years now, we met at the university and now we're both in grad school. I was her first real friend in her life as she puts it, as others have never been interested in friendship with her. As months and years went by we became closer, we did a lot of things together, we studied together and we were great friends. Her family are rather protective of her but they trust me completely with her.
I never looked at her sexually, she was more like a cousin to me. I never considered dating her either. I really love spending time with her and being her best friend, the one that she trusts and can always rely on.
Yesterday we submitted a major piece of coursework and we're finally free. I asked if she likes to celebrate. I picked her up and brought her to my place, we ordered pizza and had a few beers and enjoyed ourselves. The plan usually is that she takes my couch these nights as she often stays here (a lot of the times it's studying together though).
Last night she was really intimate and kept holding my hand. One thing led to another, we were having sex on my bed. The sex was very good, but that level of intimacy with her was amazing, like something I had never experienced before in my life. After sex she laid on top of me and told me that this was her first time having sex and she's glad that it was with the right person. We slept in each other's arms. This morning I drove her home and when we arrived she kissed me and told me that she's glad that last night finally happened.
I'm a little overwhelmed. On one hand I certainly love her and last night felt very right when it was happening, on the other hand I can't shake off this feeling of guilt that I'm having right now. I feel like she's been more or less isolated in her life because of her physical condition and I'm the first person who's really been her friend and she's opening up to me like that, not maybe because I'm the right one for her or that I deserve her but because I'm the only option. I feel like I'm taking advantage of her.
I don't know what I should do. Are my thoughts valid?
tl;dr: Me with best friend who is disabled. We had sex and I feel like I took advantage of her because I'm her only close friend.
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Feb 15, 2020 07:39
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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I (21F) have to move to my boyfriend’s (23M) country if I want to continue the relationship, but I hate everything about that country.
I will not specify which country I’m talking about here, as to not offend anyone. Some people could probably guess though. I currently live in England.
I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now, and our relationship is great. There are no issues other than some cultural differences, but he is an amazing, honest, trustworthy person and I love him a lot.
My older brother (29M), who I am very close with, lives in the country my boyfriend is from. Before I met my boyfriend, I already considered moving there to live with my brother, after I finished university. I am currently in my last year, and I found out my boyfriend was planning to propose right after I graduate. If I accepted, that would mean I would have to move to his country to be with him.
Reasons I would be the one to move: I have a family member there, which makes it easier. I will work freelance anyway, so will not be tied down to any specific place. My boyfriend has a good job in his country with a great career ahead of him. So due to all that, it was logical I would be the one to move, if we decided to get married.
I used to love this country, and really wanted to live there with my brother. However, the more I visited, the more I have grown to hate it instead. I have lived there for 4 months last year, and after that I cannot imagine myself having to be there any longer. The way people treated me due to my race was not pleasant (the country rarely has any foreigners), i had people grab me on the street and try to touch my skin, people spit on me, etc. I could not go outside alone without either being stalked or harassed by creepy men. I was followed home multiple times. I had many unpleasant things happen to me there, and by the end of the 4 months I lived there, I stopped leaving the house on my own. The country does not accept foreigners, and if I moved i would for the rest of my life be an outsider.
Another problem, is that any time I complained about anything bad happening to me while I was there, my boyfriend would get annoyed and defensive, as he is very fond of his country, and cannot believe there could be anything wrong with it. I try to avoid telling him if there’s a problem while I’m there, since I know he will get upset/annoyed. Any time I raised the topic, i could see he was very hurt by the fact I don’t seem to be thrilled about moving there.
Also, let me specify. I do somewhat speak the language. I also do not have any fund problems, so that would not play an important role. I do not depend on my boyfriend financially, so I could leave any time.
I do not know how to proceed. I don’t want to break up with him, as except for that, everything is perfect. Please, if anyone had a similar experience, I would be happy if you could share. I would also appreciate any advice about the situation.
Tl;dr: if I wanna marry my boyfriend I gotta move to his home country, but I don’t like it and don’t feel safe here. Don’t want to break up. What are my options?
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Feb 15, 2020 07:39
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- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
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I (21F) have to move to my boyfriend’s (23M) country if I want to continue the relationship, but I hate everything about that country.
...
I used to love this country, and really wanted to live there with my brother. However, the more I visited, the more I have grown to hate it instead. I have lived there for 4 months last year, and after that I cannot imagine myself having to be there any longer. The way people treated me due to my race was not pleasant (the country rarely has any foreigners), i had people grab me on the street and try to touch my skin, people spit on me, etc. I could not go outside alone without either being stalked or harassed by creepy men. I was followed home multiple times. I had many unpleasant things happen to me there, and by the end of the 4 months I lived there, I stopped leaving the house on my own. The country does not accept foreigners, and if I moved i would for the rest of my life be an outsider.
OP thinks Alabama is a country
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Feb 15, 2020 07:45
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- Smirking_Serpent
- Aug 27, 2009
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AITA for masturbating in a shared hotel room?
I’m a 23 year old female and I recently went on a business trip. We were paired with other people to share our hotel rooms with and I was paired with a girl named Miriam. Well Miriam dates a guy named Devin in our company and he was also on the business trip with us.
Miriam let me know beforehand that she’s going to be staying with Devin in his hotel room and that I can have our hotel room for myself. I brought my vibrator on the trip because she told me that.
The trip is for one week. Well I masturbated most nights because I have a high sex drive and was going to be away from my boyfriend for that long.
The last night I hear a knock on my door and it’s Miriam looking all disheveled with her suitcases in hand. She told me she and Devin were fighting so she’s staying in our room. I had all my stuff sprawled out since i was staying there by myself, so I started to clean up.
She saw my vibrator in my suitcase as I was putting other things away and began yelling at me about how gross it was that I’d be masturbating in “our” room and how disrespectful I am. She’s been giving me the cold shoulder since and has definitely been talking poo poo to some of our other coworkers.
AITA?
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Feb 15, 2020 07:47
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- wheatpuppy
- Apr 25, 2008
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YOU HAVE MY POST!
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OP thinks Alabama is a country
No you're thinking of Georgia.
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Feb 15, 2020 07:48
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May 21, 2024 11:45
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Feb 15, 2020 03:27
