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AITA For not letting my wife use my car after she got a parking ticket?quote:To give background: We have two cars, one for me and one that she uses. I make a lot more than my wife and I paid for both cars completely early on in our marriage.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:52
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Ugly In The Morning posted:17 years is likely to be some Pretty Heavy poo poo. Yeah, he might have stolen money from a corporation.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:53
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threelemmings posted:You can totally do like six years or even less sometimes and be out again for a murder. 17 years is either federal crime or something bigger. Doesn't necessarily mean it was a violent crime but it's pretty likely. Murder can have you out quickly. At work we have candidates to be a practical examiner fill out an application where they need to list any felonies on their record. One guy had second-degree murder from the 1980s, but only served a year or two in prison from what I remember. When we asked him for details, he claimed that he shot someone trying to stab him in his home and that California has mandatory prison time even for self-defense with a gun. I confirmed this is bullshit, which means he probably got into a fight with a guy and they both tried to kill each other, with the guy with the gun winning. He already had a reputation for aggression and harassment among the staff, so he didn't get to be an examiner.
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Feb 18, 2020 16:57
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Hobo Clown posted:AITA For not letting my wife use my car after she got a parking ticket? who pays the tickets? also what is this grounding your wife poo poo. why not try to give her a curfew too, what the gently caress
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Feb 18, 2020 16:58
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luxury handset posted:who pays the tickets? also what is this grounding your wife poo poo. why not try to give her a curfew too, what the gently caress The tickets are paid for from their joint account
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Feb 18, 2020 17:14
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DandyLion posted:Or he could just be black and have been arrested a third time for Marijuana....... Also crack. My dad became addicted a year or two after I was born and ended up in Federal prison for like 12-15 years.
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Feb 18, 2020 17:27
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What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you?quote:I've (25M) been living with my roommate (25M) for a year and a few months. We've been through a lot together, including a robbery and a panic attack. (UPDATE) What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you? (25M) and (25M) quote:TLDR: i talked to my roomie... now we're boyfriends!!! i'm so happy  Top comment posted:oh my god they were roommates
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Feb 18, 2020 18:11
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). We never really had a dating life, we liked just being friendly and meeting people, and we also never asked about each other's sexuality. I'm not sure of mine still.
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DemoneeHo posted:What does it mean when someone changes what they've always called you? It's nice to see that it's not all doom and gloom out there. 
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Feb 18, 2020 18:25
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AITA for not wanting to go to our high school reunion with my wife to fulfil her revenge fantasy? My wife and I (both 37, female) have known each other since high school. We grew up in a very conservative part of the US so we were both extremely repressed and didn’t get together until well into our adulthood. We both left our hometown as soon as we were able to (me at 18 when I headed to college, she after college) and neither of us have really visited since. From what we know though—thanks to the power of the internet and social media—the area we grew up in is still incredibly conservative. My wife recently got a Facebook message from one of our old classmates about a 20th high school reunion that is being organized in our hometown this summer. Looking at the event page it seems a lot of people from high school are going. All of our social media profiles are private so they likely have no idea we’re now together. My wife immediately jumped to accept the invitation, and assumed I would be ecstatic as well to “surprise everyone about our marriage”. I told her I didn’t really wanna go because: 1) I actually had a pretty lovely time in high school and so I’m not particularly inclined to see old classmates I haven’t talked to in 20 years; 2) she may not even get the reaction she thinks she’ll get; 3) we live far away now and it would be an unplanned travel expense. Not that we’re extremely poor, but I’d rather we spend our money on an actual vacation instead of bumming around in our hometown for a week with the kids. I told her all this, and also said that if she wishes to go on her own, she is more than welcome to. But she insisted that it wouldn’t be the same unless we’re both there. One thing that may be relevant here is that my wife hung out with the popular crowd in high school, and so she evidently sees going to a high school reunion arm-in-arm with a woman as some revenge fantasy (like, “oh, the prom queen is now a lesbian” or whatever). She’s not normally this high school obsessed but she has mentioned several times she wants to surprise our former classmates with our relationship and financial success. I said the purposeful showiness of this seemed a bit immature and we should just focus on the good life we have now. Growing up gay in the 90s in a conservative town was obviously... not great, to put it mildly, and I understand that we each have our own way of coping with the homophobia we experienced. This just seems like a bit of a step back in my opinion. But at the same time, going to the reunion clearly means a lot to my wife, whereas I’m more apathetic. AITA?
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Feb 18, 2020 18:43
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to go to our high school reunion with my wife to fulfil her revenge fantasy? Showing up to a 20-year reunion and not being obese with 3 kids means you've already won
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Feb 18, 2020 18:46
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to go to our high school reunion with my wife to fulfil her revenge fantasy? I'm going to go with #2. Nobody is going to give a poo poo about something they probably don't even remember and you're going to look like the weirdo when you inevitably bring it up over and over again.
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Feb 18, 2020 18:57
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Beachcomber posted:AITA for helping with my nieces but refusing to help with my severely disabled nephew?
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Feb 18, 2020 19:05
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spacetoaster posted:I'm going to go with #2. Nobody is going to give a poo poo about something they probably don't even remember and you're going to look like the weirdo when you inevitably bring it up over and over again.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:09
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How can I (27F) tell my friend (30F) that her "jokes" about my husband (40M) make me feel uncomfortable? We've been friends for six years, she (30F) was present in our family since my (27F) daughters were born (they're 5 and 2 years old) she's not married and has no children and always jokes about men and how she wants to sleep with all the handsome men in the world, and I don't like that but hey, that's her personality and she can do whatever she wants with her life, but lately she started to make "jokes" about my husband (40M) and that's not funny to me. One day we were having dinner with all my friends and one of them said that my husband is a great father for taking care of our daughters while I was with them, and she suddenly said "yes, he's such a daddy" and laughed, and I asked what? And she told me that he's really hot and that I'm very lucky to be married to him, well, that was forgotten but she didn't stop and when she went to visit us she was playing with my youngest daughter and made a comment that made me feel really VERY uncomfortable, she said something like "your husband makes beautiful babies and I would like him to make one with me because I want beautiful babies like your daughters" I was like, excuse me? and she just laughed and said she was joking, I told her that I don't like that kind of jokes and she told me that I was overreacting. I know I should have a talk with her but I don't know how to tell her that I don't like her behavior, she even brags that she slept with a man who had a girlfriend and that his girlfriend broke up with him because of that and that's what makes me feel even more uncomfortable, she has no limits i mean she doesn't even care that I'm pregnant, she still hinted that she wants to sleep with MY husband and I know that the ring on his finger is not gonna stop her if she really wants to sleep with him. I want to cut off contact with her temporarily because I don't like her attitude, but I don't know what to say, I don't want to hurt her feelings. Of course I trust my husband and I have talked to him about this and he confessed that she also made him feel uncomfortable but never told me because he knows that I love her, but my priority is my family and I don't know what should I tell her? Tl;dr "my (27F) friend (30F) said that she wants to have babies with my husband (40M) because he makes beautiful babies and she thinks he's hot, and now I want to cut off contact with her temporarily"
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Feb 18, 2020 19:12
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Smirking_Serpent posted:How can I (27F) tell my friend (30F) that her "jokes" about my husband (40M) make me feel uncomfortable? don't frame it so seriously and make fun of her with your husband, it will be fun
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Feb 18, 2020 19:17
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MorrisBae posted:Showing up to a 20-year reunion and not being obese with 3 kids means you've already won Recently had one, me and another guy were the only ones with hair left. I was very pleased.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:20
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I [28F] can’t look at boyfriend [29M] the same after some jokes he told [4yr duration] TL;DR boyfriend thinks it’s okay to joke about things that I don’t think it’s okay to joke about. I don’t know whether it’s ok for me to feel this way or not. Half my brain is saying “wow I’m literally turning into the stereotypical no fun feminist that internet people always complain about, I need to chill before I lose all my friends” and half my brain is saying “danger! Danger! You’re being manipulated into thinking this is normal and it’s actually definitely not ok! You are being gaslit into putting up with absolute BS!” Alrighty I’m not sure what the rules are exactly on quoting other people’s rude comments. So apologies in advance if you think my censorship is overly intense. My boyfriend’s best friends are this group of guys that have all been besties since they were like, 8 years old or something like that. They’re all white/straight/cis/etc. Their favourite (and pretty much only) hobby is playing video games together, but they don’t always play in person, they usually communicate over the Internet. My relationship with my boyfriend’s friends is... basically nonexistent, but also complicated. I’ll sum it up - They seem to really like me, and we get along extremely well, but they make almost all hangout events “boys only / girlfriends not invited” so I’ve been allowed to hang out with them less than 5 times in the past 4 years, which used to make me feel very sad and confused and excluded and rejected and maybe a bit angry. Remember, they’re his BEST friends. But after a couple years I realized that a couple of them are pretty racist/homophobic/transphobic so y’know, phew, bullet dodged! Don’t need to be in a group like that! I’ll hang out with my awesome friends instead (many of whom are LGBT and/or POC). But yet, even though I don’t WANT to be friends with them, I still feel excluded and sad that I can’t be part of such an important part of my boyfriend’s life... I don’t like being in a couple where we have separate friend groups. Like I said, complicated. There’s some hidden bitterness deep down that I try to ignore because I don’t want to be controlling or needy. Anyway that was all just backstory to explain the situation. Wait, one more sentence of backstory- I’m a mostly white, bisexual, girl who hates racism and homophobia, and who has been badly abused in past relationships. So, even though my boyfriend is friends with some... questionable people, he’s always assured me that he’s 100% not racist or homophobic or sexist. I personally prefer to not be close friends with people who are, so I found it strange that he’s cool with it... but he says “guy friendships are different, you just don’t understand, it’s about loyalty, we’ve known each other for decades we’re basically brothers”. That makes no sense to me but oh well, I try to be open minded so I decided to just roll with it and believe him. Him and his friends also have some questionable habits... when gaming together, they call each other (F-word which means gay person) constantly, like every other sentence, which makes me cringe, I think it’s pretty gross. But I don’t want to be the language police. As my boyfriend pointed out when I commented on it... It’s a private group chat so no LGBT person will EVER hear it (other than me when I’m sitting on the couch next to Boyfriend), and my boyfriend isn’t actually homophobic, so literally nobody is getting hurt (other than my “oversensitive feelings” as he puts it). So even though it bothers me a little, I’ve decided “gently caress it, not worth the argument, this isn’t my hill to die on, it’s true that he’s not hurting anyone and I’m not his mom so I should stop being so oversensitive and controlling”. SO actual important post content starts here: recently, Boyfriend and his friends actually invited me to be in one of their gaming group chats, for literally the first time in our entire 4 year relationship! Wow! (Yep, that’s how distant his friends are from me...) This group chat was a text based one, not a voice chat. When you’re added to these, you can see previous messages from before you were added. I’m not sure if boyfriend was aware of this or not, I’m assuming he wasn’t. I have to admit, I was curious about what they’ve been talking about without me for 4 drat years... yes, ok, I’m really bitter about being excluded, I admit. So, being bitter, I “snooped”. (Is it really snooping if you read past messages in a group chat that you were literally invited to join?) Anyway, this one only had about 6 months worth of messages, not 4 years’ worth. And it was 6 months worth of racist jokes (which weren’t super tame, some of them used the N-word!), (R- word you know which one) jokes, transphobic jokes, you get the idea. But duh, that’s what I expected to find, I knew what boyfriend’s friends were like. What I didn’t expect to find... was that Boyfriend was the one making some of the jokes. Including one (n word) joke, and one (r word) joke. I will include a very censored version of both jokes so you can form your own opinion on whether or not they were uncool things to say. Joke 1: Friend is talking about painting something he owns. Boyfriend replies “paint it N word black and (C word for Chinese people) skin yellow).” So... that ones technically not even a racist joke since he isn’t even saying anything about race other than naming colours... but also is it just me or is that a super hosed up thing to say? Like why would he even think that, they were just talking about paint colours, why would his brain go “yes this would be a good opportunity to use some racial slurs!” Am I crazy or is this super weird and crappy of him? Joke 2: Friend is talking about being nervous for a presentation he has to give at school. Boyfriend replies “(R word) your teacher and then beat up your classmates”. Now this joke is the one that really bothered me because... trying to say this with maximum censorship here... I’ve been “treated badly in a certain way” in a past relationship and my boyfriend KNOWS this. I think it’s absolutely sickening that he thinks this kind of thing is hilarious when he knows how it affected his girlfriend’s life. Honestly, the fact that he’d want to tell a joke like this makes me want to puke. I talked to my best friend about it and he said “First of all, only those 6 white guys will ever hear those jokes, and those 6 guys aren’t hurt by them, so nobody got hurt and your boyfriend did absolutely nothing wrong. Secondly, he didn’t know you would ever read that chat, so you can’t be mad at him for talking about something that hurts you when he thought you’d never hear it. You’re being oversensitive and controlling and honestly pretty crazy.” Which is also my boyfriends opinion on the topic and yeah, I get it, I can understand their perspective. It’s true that nobody will ever be hurt by what they say privately among themselves. But also, that doesn’t matter to me. No matter how much I try to rationalize it, my gut instincts just keep screaming “this is messed up and not ok! Nice people don’t talk like that even in private, and you deserve to date a nice person! You’ve never in your life thought about saying things like that, so surely there’s other people out there like you, and you shouldn’t settle for someone who gets enjoyment out of joking about those things!” So reddit, I’m prepared for all the insults, I’m sure a bunch of comments are going to call me a controlling no-fun feminist who likes to ruin things, or whatever women usually get called on the Internet when they don’t like R jokes. Go ahead, accuse me of being judgmental and abusive (but please do it politely, I’m oversensitive! Hahahahaha - that’s MY favourite kind of humour, self-deprecating irony!) But I thought I’d post this anyway just in case I’m not wrong and it actually is ok to be upset about this. Because my gut instinct will not stop screaming “wtf girl! Get out!” And let me be VERY CLEAR: I’m upset not because of the specific jokes he told (which were pretty tame compared to some stuff I’ve seen online, I’ll admit) - I’m upset because generally, I feel like the kind of person who would WANT to tell that kind of joke, isn’t the kind of person I’d want to date. In other words, I’m more concerned about his general character than the specific things he said. I’m concerned about the fact that he’s a person who gets personal enjoyment out of joking about those things. So give me your verdict reddit. Is it fair for me to be upset about this? What should I say to him, should I confront him or should I let it slide?
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Feb 18, 2020 19:24
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Smirking_Serpent posted:AITA for not wanting to go to our high school reunion with my wife to fulfil her revenge fantasy? Stay home, get drunk, watch Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. Movies are the only way for these elaborate reunion revenge fantasies to play out successfully.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:24
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cumshitter posted:As ridiculous as these scams are they work. I luckily have not had to deal with clients asking me to send them funds for a Nigerian prince at my job, even though I am currently working several old ladies in the early stages of dementia who believe I'm their dead husband. In finance, we call them lottery clients. There's some interesting psychology in scams. If you can create a sense of urgency the rational/suspicious part of the brain tends to slow down as it tries to find a fix. I nearly fell for a "your [bank] card has been shut down due to fraud suspicion, please enter your number to reactivate it" because it came just after I'd paid some large bills and I was worried about those instead of the robocall. Got halfway through typing in the number before I managed to get through to myself about all the red flags (one being that it wasn't my bank, but the one I used to use that closed down). Other scams will claim to be from "Visa Mastercard" and people just blank out the one they don't use without noting those are different companies.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:25
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [28F] can’t look at boyfriend [29M] the same after some jokes he told [4yr duration] Help my boyfriend is real life FYAD superstar but I've seen worse online.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:28
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [28F] can’t look at boyfriend [29M] the same after some jokes he told [4yr duration] If these folks were like, 20 years old or less, this would be... well still pretty lovely. But at least kind of lovely that a good number of people go through and most grow out of. But still talking like this at 29? That's a big yikes!
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Feb 18, 2020 19:38
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A doctor has started confirming my psychotic mother’s delusions. He’s sent her texts encouraging her delusions, calling her pet names, and generally being a total creep while treating her. Please help.quote:Tl;dr: A (overly friendly) doctor has started confirming my psychotic mother’s delusions. He’s texted her about it, so there are some records of what he’s said. Please help.
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Feb 18, 2020 19:55
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MorrisBae posted:Showing up to a 20-year reunion and not being obese with 3 kids means you've already won And this is why I will never go to my 20 year reunion.
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Feb 18, 2020 20:11
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A future Rejected Parent in the making Dear Prudence - We clearly said no quote:My spouse and I don’t get out much. We secured a babysitter for last night and were so excited to reconnect. We had it planned for weeks. My mom asked to get together and we kindly explained that we had a date and would be happy to hang out another night. My mom was really persistent—she wanted to “show off our house” to a friend whom I don’t know well. We kept saying no very firmly and directly. The babysitter, who is another family member, told me my mom reached out to them and also asked to come over, without us knowing, while we were gone. They firmly said no also. I couldn’t fully enjoy the date. I felt like the situation was really bizarre. quote:Is this sort of thing out of character for your mother? You don’t say much about what she’s normally like, if she has a history of showing up drunk or with a drunk friend, acting belligerently, or spreading rumors. If this is totally unlike her, give yourself a few days to settle and then let her know you’re concerned about her and want to know what’s going on. Maybe she’s started drinking more herself; maybe it’s a medical issue; maybe something in particular has been upsetting her. There might be a chance to learn more and figure out if there’s something you can offer your help with. Even if something is the matter, you’re still entitled to say, “Mom, it really upset me that you did this after we said ‘No’ six times,” or “It’s put us in a really embarrassing position to have to clarify with people that you didn’t help to buy our house or pay for our wedding.” (You can also tell those friends who have brought this to you: “I’m so sorry. Thanks for letting us know. I’m not sure why she’s making those claims, but I’ll speak to her about it.”)
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Feb 18, 2020 20:15
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Came across this earlier this morning. AITA metrics for data nerds: https://blog.dvc.org/a-public-reddit-dataset LOL at mentioning your wife/GF correlating to being an rear end in a top hat stronger than drat near anything else. Seems about to par with what's been posted ITT
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Feb 18, 2020 20:17
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La Brea Carpet posted:A doctor has started confirming my psychotic mother’s delusions. He’s sent her texts encouraging her delusions, calling her pet names, and generally being a total creep while treating her. Please help.  How do you go about reporting this dude like ASAP
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Feb 18, 2020 20:45
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PetraCore posted:If it's a conservative shithole they'll probably give a poo poo about them being lesbians, but not in the way that's like, safe. Maybe if they were from Saudi Arabia, but the OP didn't say it was anything like that. She just seems to think they'll all clutch their pearls, gasp, and she'll be the center of attention. When in reality, they're all millenials and probably don't give a poo poo.
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Feb 18, 2020 20:59
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“(R word) your teacher and then beat up your classmates” Really want to know what the R-word is that makes this sentence make sense.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:03
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [28F] can’t look at boyfriend [29M] the same after some jokes he told [4yr duration] Post was deleted and locked Reddit mod posted:People commenting about whether it’s okay or not for bf and friends to make these jokes are missing the point of your post imo. You can’t stop them, but you can be uncomfortable with being in a relationship where you know your partner makes these kinds of jokes (even if he doesn’t do it in front of you). This behavior indicates you have different values (at least to the extent of “racist jokes are bad”), and it’s understandable if you want to be with someone who shares those values, and someone who has friends you can get along with (or at least tolerate). Those are not unreasonable standards for a relationship, and if you don’t feel like your opinion of him can recover from these revelations, it might be time to move on. reddit: a place for discussion
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Feb 18, 2020 21:05
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UltraRed posted:“(R word) your teacher and then beat up your classmates” The four-letter one that ends in -pe
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Feb 18, 2020 21:05
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UltraRed posted:“(R word) your teacher and then beat up your classmates” Rape, but I had to read it a few times
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Feb 18, 2020 21:06
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HOT BREAD! posted:Post was deleted and locked that's... not terrible advice from the mod, tho?
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Feb 18, 2020 21:10
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Also none of those are actually jokes. Your garbage boyfriend and his garbage friends all really believe that poo poo and they think that about *you.* P.S. What they say when you're not around is 100x worse if possible. Murder them all.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:15
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LORD OF BOOTY posted:that's... not terrible advice from the mod, tho? It's great advice, I was referring more to the fact it got locked because people couldn't stop arguing over whether or not the guy and his friends are racist than actually help OP. HOWEVER I scrolled down and looked at the comments and people are actually trying to help her, so it is I who is the idiot here (typical)
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Feb 18, 2020 21:22
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Smirking_Serpent posted:I [28F] can’t look at boyfriend [29M] the same after some jokes he told [4yr duration] im permabanned poster n-wordstomper29m
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Feb 18, 2020 21:24
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Hardwood Floor posted:
Through the medical licensing board or state agency, along with all the texts. Still an uphill battle from there and unlikely to do anything to actually help the mom who is too far gone now. In my city we had a case recently involving a psychiatrist who was manipulating his vulnerable female patients into abusive sexual relationships while under his "care", including hooking them on ketamine and other controlled substances he was writing prescriptions for to further enforce control over them. The DEA was interested in that when one of the women broke free and talked to the police, and as a result this dude lost his license (but did not go to jail!). There was an article about him the other day attempting to open a life coaching and holistic health practice.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:24
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*chews straw, squinting into sunset* back to this ole rodeo...................quote:My (30F) husband (29M) won't brush his teeth and things are getting rough.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:25
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AITA for pushing my BF to finish the show we started?(Steven Universe)quote:Steven Universe is a show that is as important to me as a show can be and with Steven Universe: Future around the corner and my boyfriend not having seen the show but always wanting too we decided to watch the whole series so we can experience new episodes together.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:30
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HOT BREAD! posted:*chews straw, squinting into sunset* back to this ole rodeo................... He has depression or OCD Or someone sodomized him with a toothbrush
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Feb 18, 2020 21:34
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DragQueenofAngmar posted:AITA for pushing my BF to finish the show we started?(Steven Universe) Lol My wife dragged me into watching SU with her last summer and once I got over the first batch of episodes seeming like kid stuff I ended up loving the whole thing and binging it with her. Lots of subtext and themes for an adult audience if you give it a chance. But yeah, geez, this girl is really not capable of taking a hint and that she bursts into tears with a guilt-trip when he doesn't want to watch it is pathetic and terrible communication.
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Feb 18, 2020 21:37
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