r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

MarcusSA posted:

Also a tap ain�t that big of a deal just depends on how bad it really was.

I dunno

With the way he�s described as �angry� about the ticket and the park-in, there�s no way this was a super careful minor tap. Especially with the �loud banging sound�, I�m pretty sure he did some damage.

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Also isn’t tearing off the license pointless since it�s recorded into a central database?

Yes. The way most cities work nowadays is that the meter maid walks around with a tablet and actually fills out the ticket on that, so it�s recorded on the database before the ticket even prints for him to stick on your car.

Also worth noting that when the meter maid pulls up your tag to write the ticket, it can also pop up a little note �this vehicle already has 3 unpaid parking tickets� along with the dates...which very well might lead him to skip the ticket and boot/tow your car.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:07

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# ? Jun 15, 2024 13:53

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

He (25M) Wants part of my (22F)tax refund. Am I wrong for saying no?

quote:

So my bf and I have been together for almost 9 years and we have 2 children together. Usually each year he files for both of our children and then split the half of the cost that hes gotten back for the kids alone. Which is usually about 3,000$ so he gives me 1500$. While still having about 5/6,000$, where as the most I�ve gotten back was about 700$.

This year for the first time I filed for one of the children and he filed for the other one and it turned out that�ll I�ll be getting back much more than he would be.

So now he wants me to give him about 400$ to 500$ so, In his words �we can have the same amount�. Which is ridiculous! So I told him no and now he keeps bringing up the fact that he gives me money every year, how he has always taken care of me, or telling me that I don�t have his back.

I just would like to know if I�m wrong for not wanting to give him any money because now I just feel guilty for not doing so.

TL;DR: boyfriend has been filing for Both kids and this year we filed for one each for the first time and he wants me to give him money out of my tax return so we can have an equal amount since I�m getting back more for the first time.

quote:

> If you have been together 9 years and have 2 kids together why are you keeping your finances separated?

Throughout the years I�ve realized when it comes down to money he can be extremely controlling, even last year I had to basically break into his bank account to get my share of the money. Which is why I wanted to file for the kids separately this year.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:20

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

El Diablo strikes again

quote:

So my(26f) bf(24m) (3years?) didn�t have a Hulu profile for his Hulu. so I was like this is YOUR Hulu we are making you one so you stop f-Ing up my preferences. Obviously I made the name of the new account El Diablo because he�s the devil.

Come a few days later we get this phone call from his mom. She was afraid because she was watching this show about the devil last night, had some nightmares about it standing in the room, and then this random profile called el Diablo pops up on hulu.

She 100% believes in the devil. She does not joke about the devil.

And I HAD NO IDEA OTHERS HAD ACCESS TO THE ACCOUNT AND IVE JUST PUT A FAKE EL DIABLO PROFILE ON THIS EXTREMELY CHRISTIAN WOMANS HULU AND NOW ILL BE SINGLE FOREVER. 👿💀

TL;DR! - I accidentally put a fake profile called the devil on my bf�s moms Hulu. A potential mother in law.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:22

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Licarn posted:

El Diablo strikes again

Mental illness is a hell of a thing.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:32

avoid doorways: Jun 6, 2010; 'twas brillig; Gun Saliva

My girlfriend not telling the truth

quote:

Does my girlfriend putting just powder on her face and nothing else count as her wearing makeup? She says she doesnt wear any and just uses "powder" and "lipbalm", she says she's not really particular about her looks and appearances. But i dont get why she still uses powder. She's not really a girlish girl and hangs out with me and my friend group who are all mostly guys.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:38

Elfface: Nov 14, 2010; Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Get the Diablo profile to tell granny to go to church and avoid therapy. She will do the opposite. Unless she thinks the devil knows she'll think that...

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:40

Orange DeviI: Nov 9, 2011; by Hand Knit

love putting powder in my face every weekend

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:40

DeadMansSuspenders: Jan 10, 2012; I wanna be your left hand man

They have whole rooms dedicated to applying powder, of course it counts.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:47

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010; Can't post for 11 years!

As long as it's on the face and not up the nose.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 13:51

Spaced God: Feb 8, 2014; All torment, trouble, wonder and amazement
Inhabits here: some heavenly power guide us
Out of this fearful country!

DeadMansSuspenders posted:

They have whole rooms dedicated to applying powder, of course it counts.

They're called dive bar bathrooms

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:10

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

chemtrail huffer posted:

My(23F) bf(33M) spends the entire night playing his organ in the basement and I�m worried about his health

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9OM18mJwMDM

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:21

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Licarn posted:

El Diablo strikes again

Leave the devil picture but change the profile name to "I'm coming for you *name*"

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:30

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

GORDON posted:

Leave the devil picture but change the profile name to "I'm coming for you *name*"

Fill the recently watched with horror movies

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:49

Fatty: Sep 13, 2004; Not really fat

I think this might be the most cringeworthy post I've ever seen, if its real.

My [24F - white] boyfriend [25M - black] has been given an ultimatum by his parents [50s - black]: That he break up with "that racist parasite" (me) or they'll kick us both out. But I'm not racist.They just don't get our humour.

quote:

So this whole situation revolves around the fact that I do a REALLY good Morgan Freeman impersonation. That's actually part of the reason I'm pursuing a life in entertainment and moved to this city. It's also how I met my boyfriend. He overheard my impression of my favourite Morgan Freeman role (Red from Shawshank Redemption) while I was at a bar with a friend. I did the "Hope is a dangerous thing my friend" bit when my friend was eyeing off a 10/10 at the bar.

Anyway my (now) boyfriend started laughing and said that I did an incredible Morgan Freeman impression and that's how we got talking. His name was Andrew and so I started pulling out Red + Andy (Dufresne) quotes and we absolutely hit it off. I had a line for everything and he was setting them up for me. We were a great team, EXACTLY like the real Red and Andy (once they become friends after they weren't friends at the start). Night went exactly how you'd expect

The two points I'm trying to make is that: 1. I'm actually quite talented at this particular impression and, 2. It was the cornerstone of us starting dating. It's part of what makes us us.

It's not like I can't do other impressions, it's just that I'm particularly great at Morgan Freeman and in particular his Red Reddings role. That's what lands me my best gigs and what the crowd goes for most. So I play it up a little. Also it means I have to practice religiously or my timing and pitch falls off. I make sure I train my voice for at least 2 hours every day and the rest of the day I spend writing my new material and arranging appearances and running my own social media. As any entertainer will tell you, it's a big part of who we are. HOWEVER, my dedication is a problem for his parents.

We moved in to his parents house after a couple of weeks because my roommate moved back home and the rent was too much for one person. They took an INSTANT dislike to me - in particular my line of work AND my requirements to practice - and nothing I do can break the ice. I've tried making breakfast, buying groceries, playing with their younger daughter, driving them around town (role reversal from Miss Daisy that one!) and just plain being honest and open about who I am and what I do. But they never warmed up. Always commenting on "do I have to do that around [little brother]" (when I'm rehearsing). Or "Maybe you could do some impressions of 'your own people'" as if to say they take umbridge at my impressions embracing one of America's favourite actors.

Last week I gave them free front-row tickets to my first big show at our local comedy club to show them the fruit of my labour. It was an incredible night and the vibe was electric! I forwarned them that my show included real-life inspiration, but when I got to the big part talking about moving in with Andy's family I could sense the mood shift. I was looking straight at them and they were just so... dismissive and irritated at the same time. And Andy was staring straight through me. I realised they knew what was coming next and why the tensions were high. It was my penultimate bit where I reference me driving them around and the Driving Miss Daisy quote I said when driving them around (where I'm the white Hoke Colburn and they're the black Miss Daisy(s)). In that story (that I mention earlier in this post if you remember back) I did the impression. What I didn't mention was the impression was a little mean-spirited because when I did it they had been rude to me and I had said "Lord, I tell you one thing... She show know how to throw a fit!" and so that was the story and impression I had been perfecting for the show. It doesn't quite sound right writing it down, but I can assure you it would've gone down well. The setup and impression was spot on and it was quite a topical piece following some commentary on Trump and some quotes from Invictus. So it was to reset the mood and prepare for the finale.

I realised that they weren't in the mood to be made fun of so I switched it out for a backup joke I had canned because it just wasn't as funny. It was about me and Andy's first meeting where I quote Red again and say "I must admit I didn't think much of Andy first time I laid eyes on him; looked like a stiff breeze would blow him over. That was my first impression of the man." That being from our first meeting in the bar. Except I stumbled on the punchline delivery and it left me frazzled for the finale. To make matters worse his parents left the venue at the end and didn't even thank me for the free tickets or congratulate me on my first big show.

When we got home they were in bed and we haven't talked much for a week or so; that brings us to this morning. They sat us down at the kitchen table and said that they want me gone. They called me racist. They said I was insensitive and rude. I asked for examples and they couldn't come up for a single piece of evidence bhind their reasoning. They said I was "practicing racism at home" (but I'm not I'm practicing for my shows). Then they said my show was "racist" (but it isn't. Yes the majority of my performance invokes Morgan Freeman's voice and quotes, but I have other impressions including Vanilla Ice - hence my reddit throwaway - and a big part of my performance is a Raymond Holt/Jake Peralta monologue, which is a 50:50 racial split). There is also some Mexican and African impressions in the mix too. I don't really think of race when I write my show and I make this abundantly clear in my opening and closing remarks whenever I do a show.

My boyfriend has been supportive, but says he doesn't want to hurt his family or sacrifice his "accommodation" near College. So he says if I can't change their mind then he'll have to cave.

HOW do I change their opinion though? I'm not racist. I think they're so used to being victimised like so many others in their community that they can't see me for who I am; an entertainer and a friend. I've got 2 weeks to sort out this relationship before they kick me out and nothing I've done so far is working.

I need help.

A vanilla Ice Impression! A Holt/Peralta monologue! And they didn't even thank her for the free tickets.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:54

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Licarn posted:

My girlfriend not telling the truth

This one is hosed up because he just wants to gotcha her in order to yell at her for being a 'liar' about makeup. There's no way to answer this without feeding the beast.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 15:57

Last Chance: Dec 31, 2004

Fatty posted:

I think this might be the most cringeworthy post I've ever seen, if its real.

My [24F - white] boyfriend [25M - black] has been given an ultimatum by his parents [50s - black]: That he break up with "that racist parasite" (me) or they'll kick us both out. But I'm not racist.They just don't get our humour.

A vanilla Ice Impression! A Holt/Peralta monologue! And they didn't even thank her for the free tickets.

I laughed but there's no way that's real

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:00

Luxury Tent Carpet: Feb 13, 2005; I hunted the Orphan of Kos and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Fatty posted:

I think this might be the most cringeworthy post I've ever seen, if its real.

My [24F - white] boyfriend [25M - black] has been given an ultimatum by his parents [50s - black]: That he break up with "that racist parasite" (me) or they'll kick us both out. But I'm not racist.They just don't get our humour.

A vanilla Ice Impression! A Holt/Peralta monologue! And they didn't even thank her for the free tickets.

hmm, perhaps the parents are mad that she's only doing black voices, she should go the whole way to prove just how not racist she's being

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:04

MAKE NO BABBYS: Jan 28, 2010

Do it ironically posted:

That guy who flew down for the interview seems extremely autistic, if a stupid boomer office joke cuts you that deep I'm surprised they can function in any job capacity

just respond with something stupid like, oh yeah I've fooled them so far, is small chat a lost art

You�re a moron, the OP is a woman and that was a clear show the people that work there and manage there are sexist and lovely. She�s in the right.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:18

Hobo Clown: Oct 16, 2012; Here it is, Baby.
Your killer track.

Licarn posted:

El Diablo strikes again

Netflix recently added avatars for your different profiles. I switched ours to one of the Dark Crystal monsters while forgetting that we share the account with my wife's friend's family and it apparently really freaked out their 6 year old when he woke up early one day to watch cartoons. I felt pretty bad!

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:30

OhAreThey: Oct 12, 2012; I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Kenshin posted:

what in the entire gently caress

Either dementia or a fetish she is forcing others to be involved in.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:41

D34THROW: Jan 29, 2012; RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL

Uncle Enzo posted:

Dad and kid are lucky they even let the daughter come back. I would talk about it with the daughter, then lock her passport(s) in a safe deposit box just so no helpful family members get any ideas.

Grandparents could have seen her for a few weeks every few years or even more. Now they're not going to see her period. Oh well

Holy loving poo poo. I couldn't find my daughter for 2 minutes (she ran inside to "surprise" her older brother getting home from school) and I panicked, threw up, and almost poo poo my pants after I found her.

I can't imagine that amount of time. NTFA.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:47

nonathlon: Jul 9, 2004; And yet, somehow, now it's my fault ...

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for walking out of an interview that I was flown across the country for, before it started?

There's this big idea in some quarters that you have to supplicate before your employer. Ask a Manager recently had a set of letters about bad interviews (interviewing 45 people at once, having two interviewees compete directly against each other, the interview panel openly making fun of the candidate), advising them that it was okay to walk out of a bad interview.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:49

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Hobo Clown posted:

AITA for walking out of an interview that I was flown across the country for, before it started?

Found the guy who watched Mad Men and thought the boys were something to aspire to.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 16:53

epsilon: Oct 31, 2001

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for calling the police on my daughter to teach her a lesson about stealing?

My daughter is in the sixth grade. Every morning, I have her take a couple of dollars out of my wallet for lunch money. In the last few weeks, several times I have noticed that I am missing a little bit more money than usual. So, this week, I planted a 20 dollar bill before my daughter took her lunch money out. Sure enough, she took it.

I called the police and asked them to come with me to the school so that we could teach my daughter a lesson. Two officers met me there and we pulled my daughter out of class, after which she informed one of the officers that there has been a bully who is stealing her lunch money/forcing my daughter to buy her lunch. She also has been buying lunch for one of her friends who can not afford it. This was confirmed by both the bully, and the friend.

My daughter was silent on the way home and i informed her that I was just trying to teach her a lesson, that stealing is wrong and can get you in a lot of trouble. and that in the future she needs to speak to myself or her mother if there are issues at school and we would be happy to help her resolve them.

When we got home, my wife absolutely lost her poo poo on me, in full tears, telling me that this is a one way ticket to estrangement from our daughter in the future and that we should have just asked her why she was stealing money. She would have just lied about stealing in the first place so I really don�t understand what her idea of a solution is.

My daughter apparently told my wife that she is terrified that her bully will now retaliate, and also that she may have lost her friend for bringing so much attention to her financial issue. She apologized for stealing and said she just didn�t want us to intervene.

I am wondering if I really did the wrong thing here. AITA?

My dad did something similar to this when I was a kid. I am 35 and I still loving hate him.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 17:52

Do it ironically: Jul 13, 2010; by Pragmatica

MAKE NO BABBYS posted:

You�re a moron, the OP is a woman and that was a clear show the people that work there and manage there are sexist and lovely. She�s in the right.

Shut up, I realized that and even misread it, go take your rage elsewhere

# ? Feb 25, 2020 17:55

Apprentice Dick: Dec 1, 2009

Do it ironically posted:

Shut up, I realized that and even misread it, go take your rage elsewhere

You seem to be the only person raging here.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 17:59

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

I'm raging.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:00

unknown butthole: Jan 2, 2020; The old customs remain
and the ancient gods live on

Last Chance posted:

I laughed but there's no way that's real

yeah, I don't think I've ever heard anyone but cringey losers refer to people as anything out of ten when it comes to looks. It's a dead giveaway.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:09

DragQueenofAngmar: Dec 29, 2009; You shall not pass!

AITA for having throwaway plates/utensils for meat eating guests?

quote:

So let me explain my friend group: there�s me (F), a vegan, and one other vegan (F), one vegetarian (M), and 3 meat eaters(MMF). Despite the fact that I don�t allow meat on my plates and silverware, we usually have dinner at my apartment because I have the most room and the other vegan is my roommate, and none of our other friends are roommates with each other so it works good. Our meat eating friends have no problem with the throwaways, but one of them brought his girlfriend tonight, and when I handed her a paper plate she looked insulted.

I assumed my friend would explain it to her beforehand, but apparently he didn�t, so I did. She was pretty mad, and refused to eat if we didn�t give her a real plate, and my roommate pretty much told her �I�m sorry, but I guess you won�t eat then�. My friend (her BF) tried to tell her that it was no big deal, and that it�s just how we do things and it�s nothing against her, but she wasn�t hearing any of it. She spent the whole night sitting on a chair, arms crossed, occasionally rolling her eyes, glaring at us or sighing. It was super awkward, and everyone left about half an hour ago, and when she left, she just walked out without saying anything. This was only the second time we met her, so we all haven�t really got off on the right foot.

My vegetarian friend said maybe we should just let go and let people put meat on our plates, but me and my roommate, as well as one of our meat eating friends think we shouldn�t have to, as they are our plates and we�re only doing it to respect our values. Are we the assholes for not letting meat eaters put their food on real plates?

In case anyone is wondering, if they are eating the same food as us, they get to use the real stuff, and if not, they bring the food precooked. If it�s cold, we do allow them to heat it up in our oven, but that�s as far as it goes with meat in our kitchen.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:23

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Can�t let your plates be tainted with s i n

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:29

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for having throwaway plates/utensils for meat eating guests?

I mean you did this to be a bitch so you got what you wanted

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:32

DACK FAYDEN: Feb 25, 2013; Bear Witness

"3 meat eaters (MMF)" is a hell of a title

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:39

Kenshin: Jan 10, 2007

DragQueenofAngmar posted:

AITA for having throwaway plates/utensils for meat eating guests?

I eat a lot of meat and I am 100% on OPs side here. They set clear reasonable boundaries based on what they are comfortable with in their home. The other person threw an unreasonable fit. She wasn't being singled out and there's nothing unreasonable about using a paper plate and disposable utensils. It's not like it was supposed to be some big fancy dinner, this is just the dinner they normally have and this is how they normally do it.

Not the rear end in a top hat.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:40

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

throwing a fit about not getting to eat off the good dishes is some tremendous boomer energy

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:42

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

that's not a reasonable boundary lol, that's being a bad host because she's fuckin nuts

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:43

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

DACK FAYDEN posted:

"3 meat eaters (MMF)" is a hell of a title

It'll take a hell of a title to dethrone the reigning champ, though.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:45

cumshitter: Sep 27, 2005; by Fluffdaddy

Seems fair to me. Anyone who drinks non-alcoholic in my home has to use the sippy cups I keep on hand, for babies, because they are drinking baby drinks. Everyone else gets the nice glassware.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:46

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Saying "we get the good plates and utensils, you get the lovely disposable ones because your food is evil" is being a pretty bad host tbh. Either suck it up and let them use real stuff (seriously who gives a poo poo), or use disposable ones with them. Having them use a paper plate and plastic fork while you have real plates and utensils is like some kid's table poo poo. Wow at least they had the grace to (begrudgingly) allow access to the oven so their guest could reheat the premade food they brought with them!

Host is a jerk and I don't see how they could not be projecting hostility towards their guest based on that story.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:46

Pirate Radar: Apr 18, 2008; You're not my Ruthie!
You're not my Debbie!
You're not my Sherry!

Apprentice Dick posted:

You seem to be the only person raging here.

Every person in this thread can be instantly angry if we need to be.

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:47

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# ? Jun 15, 2024 13:53

FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

Chomp8645 posted:

Saying "we get the good plates and utensils, you get the lovely disposable ones because your food is evil" is being a pretty bad host tbh. Either suck it up and let them use real stuff (seriously who gives a poo poo), or use disposable ones with them. Having them use a paper plate and plastic fork while you have real plates and utensils is like some kid's table poo poo. Wow at least they had the grace to (begrudgingly) allow access to the oven so their guest could reheat the premade food they brought with them!

Host is a jerk and I don't see how they could not be projecting hostility towards their guest based on that story.

Host is also the reason people hate vegans

# ? Feb 25, 2020 18:50

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: i calmly said its temporary (its permanent)

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