cumshitter posted:

Husband, pointing to a video of a dick sliding out of a gaping rear end in a top hat: Everything is backwards now, like in there is the true world, and out here is the dream.

My Ex-Wife: We can make this work.

quote:

TL:DR have a soldiers memorial tattoo with my dead ex fiancee's name. Bf wants me to get the name removed or covered up because he thinks it's inconsiderate to him.

I (38f) have been dating my bf (38m) now for just shy of a year. And I can honestly say that I do love him, but 15 years ago I was engaged to someone else. I loved this other man dearly and we intended to marry when we came back from our deployments overseas. I came home, he didn't. I was devastated and it took me a long time to get over the grief of his death. My BF knows I was engaged he knows that we had both been in the military and that my former fiancee died. He also knows his parents gave me his flag which touched me in ways I can't fully express here.

Where the conflict comes in is I have what's known as a soldier's memorial tattoo. I would take a pic but it runs up my spine. At the base of the tattoo is my former fiancee's name, rank, year of birth, and death. We weren't in the same unit or even the same brigade, people traditionally get someone's name though that was close to them either they served with or were friends with. Basically, our military family names and even though we were never married he was still my family.

My bf has never asked me about the name on the tattoo I think he just always assumed it was someone else I had known and lost. That is until Sunday night we were in bed and he asked me who's name it was. So I told him because there shouldn't be any secrets in the relationship. At first, he didn't really comment about it and we went to bed but he started acting weird on Monday making comments about how it was weird I had my dead fiancee's name tattooed and that he didn't really like it.

He started wanting me to wear a shirt even to bed to cover it up. So finally last night I asked what was his problem and how could we fix it? His solution was that he wanted me to get the name removed or covered up. It was bad enough that I had my ex fiancees flag prominently displayed he didn't want to see his name. A reminder that I loved someone else.

I told him under no circumstances would that happen and he was being a jealous AH over a dead man. He thinks if I'm over him that it shouldn't be a big deal and it's weird to tattoo nonfamily members names. I said he was my family and he was being a loving twunt about it all. So obviously he thinks I'm the AH here. And now that I've had a chance to calm down I'm starting to wonder if I was.

I've talked to a few people and while all my veteran friends are on my side the people that aren't prior service kind of agree with him that I am being an AH and rubbing his face in things. I'd love to hear what this sub thinks because I'm lost here.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting to get part of my tattoo removed or covered up?

The Dregs posted:

Thanks for all the support, goons. It is appreciated. My thread got closed because it had too many replies. Apparently if you want to have lots of replies I'm the relationship reddit, you have to make a throwaway account.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

WIBTA if I permanently cut off my “friends” if they do not attend my husband’s funeral?

MarcusSA posted:

What? That makes no sense.

MarcusSA posted:

What? That makes no sense.

quote:

My parents have been divorced for 10 or so years, I am now 19 (F) my brother(16) and I have known our dads wife for 8 years now. We have grown up with her and I have a lot of fond memories of us doing stuff together because they couldn’t have kids.

My dad is 56, step mom is 38, and having a younger step mom was always fun for me. 3 years ago, they had their first child. It was a miracle since doctors told her she wouldn’t be able to get pregnant. She ended up getting pregnant again a year and a half ago and had another kid. They now have 2 boys who are 3 and like 6 months.

Of course, after the boys were born, things started changing with step mom. She may have not meant it on purpose but my brother and I both agreed how obvious her disinterest In us had become. She even asked my dad if we could have 2 versions of our Christmas cards, one of them having my brother and I in it and another with just my dad, step mom and 2 step brothers to go to step moms friends who don’t really know us.

The issue at hand has been going on for about a month, step mom has been slowly turning my dance studio in my dads house into a play room. Every weekend I’m there it’s like there are more and more toys in it. I still dance competitively, and though I live at college most of the time, when I’m home I live with my dad and need it for practice.

I called stepmom out on this in our family group text for moving some of my brothers things to a box in the basement, because “with the boys we need more room”. I don’t think this is true, I think she just wants to get rid of the reminders of my brother and I. I told her that we know she’s condensing all of our space in the house. She tried to play it off all nice. I then said I’m sorry for being in the way of her cute little nuclear family, and that she shouldn’t have married a man with kids if we were gonna have these issues.

My dad texted me individually and said I must apologize, I told him that we should have just as many rights in our dads house as his new kids do. He said nobody is taking our rights blah blah But aita for saying what I did to step mom?

EDIT: I just wanna say there’s been multiple instances since the birth of the boys where it’s seemed to almost upset stepmom when dad spends time with brother and I or does an activity with us exclusively

The Dregs posted:

Thanks for all the support, goons. It is appreciated. My thread got closed because it had too many replies. Apparently if you want to have lots of replies I'm the relationship reddit, you have to make a throwaway account.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Aita for calling stepmom out on her second wife syndrome after she ruined my dance studio?

cumshitter posted:

I was the guy saying you would have never had any of these problems if you had made the right choice and been gay. I don't know if you know it was me, becuase I mistakenly registered my reddit name as Cumshitter (with a capital C).

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Aita for calling stepmom out on her second wife syndrome after she ruined my dance studio?

quote:

Please do not make your judgement based purely on the title.

I am a pregnant, black female that works in a plant filled with men. One of two females at that (the other is white). We are the misfits of our municipality, because if anyone from downtown comes down to visit us, they are likely to leave with the intent to file some type of complaint (sexual harassment, verbal harassment, general abuse) because we are generally terrible to each other. We make sex jokes, fat jokes, mentally ill jokes, you get the point. Since I am the only black female, I usually catch the brunt of racist and sexist jokes. Now they are usually never DIRECTED TOWARDS ME, they are usually in the form of a question and they make sweeping generalizations about with the female sex or the black race. Even the N word (soft a, not hard r) gets toss around every now and again. I generally don't care.

Where our problem comes in is we have a new guy who is getting used to our environment and he's fitting in quite well. This morning, all the guys were tossing some jokes around specifically about how I'm incompetent for the job primarily due to my pregnancy. I'll admit I was slightly nettled, due to the fact that this is day four they've been on this train, but oh well. I gave my balls a tug and kept on rolling. The problem appeared when the new guy piggy backed off something one of the guys said and referred to my child as a monkey. Of course that got everyone started to toss in a quick racist quip, but I was more focused on him and I said point blank, "I have half a mind to go downtown a file a grievance. I suggest you watch your words about my child". It got quiet for a second and someone told me to calm down, they always make jokes like that. Why is it a problem now. I honestly didn't have the mental capacity to explain to them their gently caress up, so I just got up and walked out. I called my husband to cool off and I told him, to which he responded that my warning was a little uncalled for if their shenanigans are something I regularly allow. I told him it was primarily the fact that it was directed towards our child, that was my problem. He sympathises with them and likes to play devil's advocate, so I just wanna know did I overreact? AITA?

Edit: so I've accepted my judgement that everyone sucks here and that's fine. I work in an environment where we are all assholes to each other and honestly, I don't mind it. Like I've told most people in the comments, my problem began when the subject was turned on my child. If condoning that makes me an rear end in a top hat too then so be it, I've put up with it for 6 months, so it was only a matter of time. Thanks everyone

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting to get part of my tattoo removed or covered up?

Iceache posted:

When he's loving her doggy style he should salute the fallen heroes and just live with it.

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for getting upset when a racial slur was used in the context of my child?

quote:

I am a pregnant, black female [...]

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for not wanting to get part of my tattoo removed or covered up?

quote:

Edit/Update: well he just texted me and reached a new low on things that he doesn't like. To the user who said he will probably have a problem with me being around my veteran friends. Well pat yourself on the back because you called it! After arguing back and forth in texts of the long list of things he wants me to change, tattoo, not to prominently displaying his burial flag, and hanging out with my fellow former unit family I told him I'm done. And he can race the garbage man for his stuff. (Not really but I'm shoving the things he's left here into a box). Thank you for all your comments and insights. I'm still trying to read through them all. Each one of your thoughtful, meaningful empathetic comments have touched my heart in so many ways.

cumshitter posted:

I was the guy saying you would have never had any of these problems if you had made the right choice and been gay. I don't know if you know it was me, becuase I mistakenly registered my reddit name as Cumshitter (with a capital C).

quote:

I (24F) am a nurse. I work 12 hour days and make sure the first thing I do after I get home is shower because I feel gross after spending all day at the hospital. My boyfriend (25M) works at a home department store 8 hours a day. We have been together for seven years and just recently moved in together.

I do a lot of the house cleaning and only ask for him to be hygienic and shower before he climbs into bed. However, some days he refuses to shower after work. I think it’s gross because we share the same bed and I don’t want to sleep in a bed that he has laid in after sweating all day.

He sent me a picture of him fully covered in white, powdery material he was lifting and stocking while he was at work. After work, he came home, changed his clothing, and climbed into bed. I got annoyed and asked if he could take shower since he got really dirty today. He said no, and that I should get used to him not showering after work sometimes. I told him that I would rather him not climb into our bed if he’s been sweating all day at work and that I always make sure to shower after work, so it’s not like I’m being unfair. He told me that I can’t compare my work to his, and that his job is more physically demanding than mine so he is more exhausted than I will ever be. I told him he shouldn’t compare our jobs because they’re both equally exhausting, and if he wanted to act like he doesn’t share anything with anyone, then we shouldn’t live together. I also reminded him that he had told me he would shower before getting in bed after working out or work BEFORE we had moved in together. He told me to gently caress off and is now ignoring me.

I’m frustrated because he also gets mad at me when I call him out for not washing his hands after using the restroom. He claims that it’s not necessary if he’s at home—only in public.

AITA for expecting my partner to be hygienic??? He makes me feel like I’m being extremely anal about this, but I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to want to sleep in a bed that doesn’t smell like sweat.

Iceache posted:

When he's loving her doggy style he should salute the fallen heroes and just live with it.

Inceltown posted:

Serephina posted:

Is this a common phrase is the States? Using Females as a noun instead of an adjective? Anyone I've ever met in the English-speaking world would say "female co-workers", or just "girls", "women", "ladies", etc. Every time I read it all I can hear is someone talking about a wildlife documentary, and it strikes me as deeply, deeply misogynistic. Nobody's ever written about males.

henkman posted:

And even if it is that's not exactly the best argument to make about not having to shower after work

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

Lmao he thinks stocking at a department store is more physically demanding than a nurse?

MightyJoe36 posted:

"I work harder than you which means I sweat more so I shouldn't have to take a shower after work."

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

It's super common in proto-incel circles (MRA, PUA, MGToW and such) and basically nowhere else. I've never seen it used by someone who regards women as fully realized human beings.

That sentence alone tells you exactly what kind of workplace she's at.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I just don't understand it. If someone ever called me out for being stinky or not showering I would be some embarassed I'd probably melt into a puddle and these people argue it like it's normal.