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Everyone's different but 3-4 years was the magic number for us because any shorter and we'd have two kids in the most expensive tiers of daycare (~$2000/mo) at the same time and one of us, likely me, would have to quit our jobs.
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May 11, 2020 17:39
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As someone with a near 6 year old in kindergarten and an 11 mo the old. Don't wait as long as we did. It's not the worst but dealing with a baby and the transitional shock of "real" school is really hard for us. Even before the pandemic. Now it's just unbridled madness. 3-4 years max for sure.
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May 11, 2020 17:50
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We're at 25 months, and it seems pretty solid. Almost 5 and almost 3 and they both play together pretty well. We'd always heard that once you got a kid out of diapers it was harder to go back to that. We did (do without the pandemic) have 2 in day care at a time, which was rough costwise, but not unbearable.
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May 11, 2020 18:42
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nwin posted:With all the complaining and lack of sleep and aggravation, my wife and I are thinking of a second one even though our 18-month-old keeps us plenty busy. Man, what is with people? I mean, my gf is starting to do the same. I'm not into it at the moment. Some days I'm convinced that having two or more kids means just all self-sacrifice, all day and no fun. At least, I want this whole crisis thing to blow over first so I can know what I *actually* feel about it.
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May 11, 2020 18:58
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Man, what is with people? I mean, my gf is starting to do the same. I'm not into it at the moment. Some days I'm convinced that having two or more kids means just all self-sacrifice, all day and no fun. At least, I want this whole crisis thing to blow over first so I can know what I *actually* feel about it. No, that's pretty much what it was for me even before the pandemic. The couple hours after bedtime are golden.
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May 11, 2020 19:06
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I love having two toddlers 20 months apart, we're having a third soon. I am pretty sure I don't want more than that, I'm getting too old for this. But they just have so much fun together. 
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May 11, 2020 19:06
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What's a good recipe for tiddy cookies? my wife has decided she wants to donate to a milk bank and i want to help her get them ducts pumping. Oats and nutritional yeast and a lot of butter?
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May 11, 2020 19:19
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I think if I was younger, I'd be ok with having a second child. I was almost 39 when we had our daughter and the sleepless nights have affected me a lot more than when I was in grad school going with little sleep. Though the advantage now is I can laugh stupid stuff off and not make a big deal about stuff. Fingers cross, but so far when we say are you ready for bed, she does the all done sign, and runs to the gate ready to go upstairs. Hopefully that will last a lot longer.
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May 11, 2020 19:27
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:What's a good recipe for tiddy cookies? my wife has decided she wants to donate to a milk bank and i want to help her get them ducts pumping. Oats and nutritional yeast and a lot of butter? http://www.food.com/amp/recipe/peanut-butter-chocolate-chip-lactation-cookies-524452 This is basically the recipe the lactation nurses gave me after I had my second kid, sans the peanut butter chips. They were loving delicious and also helped overcome the whole forgetting-to-eat issue I ran into when I was spending much of my time trying to both breastfeed and pump frequently.
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May 11, 2020 19:45
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:Man, what is with people? I mean, my gf is starting to do the same. I'm not into it at the moment. Some days I'm convinced that having two or more kids means just all self-sacrifice, all day and no fun. At least, I want this whole crisis thing to blow over first so I can know what I *actually* feel about it. Yep that’s how I feel a lot. I’m 38, I’ll retire from the military in 6 years and go to do some other job, and I miss being able to go ride my bike for hours at a time outside like I did before our son. We’ve got college planned for him and it’s affordable right now to do everything with my wife being a stay at home mom for his first few years. If we have another one, screw any free time I have and also hello to more work because now I have to pay for 4 more years of college and my wife will be out of work that much longer because a newborn. I think part of why I’ve come around a bit on it is because gently caress, were locked inside so it’s not like we can go do anything anyways.
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May 11, 2020 19:51
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Yeah my first was when I was 35 and now our second at 41. It's... tough. I mean the day to day *work* is tough but I also start thinking about EVERYTHING we went through with the past 6 years and my daughter and the thought that I'm starting that whole process over is absolutely overwhelming. I'm sure a large part of that is the pandemic and being a stay at home dad at the moment AND trying to work the nights. It's just paralyzing at times. Plus I'm at a potentially big positive turn in my career and, selfishly, I want more time to be able to pursue and activate those changes. But everything is on hold at the moment even without the pandemic. It's tough. Also I'm a way more positive in real life... this is just my only real venting place!
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May 11, 2020 20:22
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When we first started, I knew I wanted a big family. I was an only child, with some really rough bits in my childhood, and having a sibling would have helped tremendously. I was very lonely and acted out. So, when discussing it with my husband we agreed to at least 2 kids. I had my first at 31 years old, had our second at 33 and then we fostered/adopted (since that timeline isn't fixed like a pregnancy, we could take children in when we decided we were ready). In the end, we have 4 kids between the ages of 9 and 3, so 6 years covers 4 kids. It seems insane on the outside, and at one point I had a 3 year old, a 1 year old and a newborn. I don't remember it being particularly hard, but I made a commitment to be a stay-at-home mom while my husband worked so I treated it like my full-time (and overtime) job and it didn't really bother me. Now I have the sweet, sweet smell of freedom just on the horizon, The youngest was just starting preschool when the stay-at-home order came down, so once we go back to "normal" I'll have some personal time back after a decade of babies/toddlers in the house. I think that's why I took the lockdown so hard at first, I was finally able to start exploring what I could accomplish in that free time while the kids were all at school. I will say, most of our friends are either childless or have just one so we are outliers in much of our community. But they haven't really missed their friends as much as I expected them to, because they spend all their free time hanging out with each other, playing video games or riding scooters or whatever. I can put them all in a bedroom with a stack of toys and they will entertain themselves and each other while my husband takes a zoom meeting or a conference call.
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May 11, 2020 20:28
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So I had a large family, three sisters, and a close extended family with 18 cousins around my age and then about 6 more younger cousins. Family is a beautiful thing, most of the time, and i had a great childhood, but i have had my one kid and that's where I am stopping. I had to take care of a lot of young children when I was a kid and I think I got my fill! I am only 30 so it miiiight change, but after seeing parents raising young children two or three at a time so many times in my life I am very happy with saying that's all. Maybe in like ten years I'll give it another go, but honestly I bet that won't happen. I'm sure it's all worth it to see them play together but I just don't want to deal with the rest of it at all. More power to those that do. I also hated being pregnant and giving birth. So doing it all over again would be torture. Maybe if I get really rich I'll have a surrogate and a nanny and I can see the children an hour a day and really live the dream. Husband also came from a large family and has bitter feelings about always being a bit neglected. He doesn't talk to his brothers really. But they are Trump supporters so ya know. Anyway, other goons, please keep procreating, we must outstrip the Mormons at all costs.
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May 11, 2020 20:47
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Unrelated - anyone with older (6+) kids have any issues and potential strategies for toe-walking? Our 7 year old has started doing it unconsciously and we try to remind her but I'm trying not to nag her about it. She was working with a physical therapist through school before the world ended but just wondering if anyone has any experience with it.
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May 11, 2020 20:49
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Night 3, clearly tired and not overtired but refusing to go to sleep while we are in there, using the time we’re not in there as playtime and turning off his white noise. Not sure whether we go in and try to get him to listen or leave it alone. It’s hard having no control over this.
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May 12, 2020 01:58
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My daughter is 11 months now and has been sleeping really poorly since the beginning of April... this whole last week her sleep has been almost as bad as it was when she was a newborn or worse. Last night I lost count of how many times I was up with her. We started Ferber again tonight... she cried for 37 minutes and it was the saddest thing I've seen recently. Even worse than when we did it for the first time at 6 months. Her little face was so tear stained and by the end she was so tired that when I set her down from where she was standing she was just so exhausted she curled up and sucked her thumb and passed out.  Then my husband woke her up an hour later setting off the fire alarm three times making a stromboli. I have a small chat group with other moms who were due in the same month as me, and a lot of them are talking about baby fever and one is already pregnant again. I'm just like... how? Why? I haven't slept in a year and a half and I never want to go through this again.
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May 12, 2020 02:53
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:What's a good recipe for tiddy cookies? my wife has decided she wants to donate to a milk bank and i want to help her get them ducts pumping. Oats and nutritional yeast and a lot of butter?   This is the recipe my wife used and it kept her supply skyhigh the entire ~18 months she was breastfeeding. Like so much so that she donated a bunch to the local milk bank because we literally couldn't fit any more in our freezer. If the recipe looks a little fiddly it's because she is lactose intolerant and was recovering from gestational diabetes when the kid was born, so she had to have something that was dairy free and relatively low sugar. They will make your house smell like a coconut's butthole if you use coconut oil rather than butter but apparently they're pretty good, according to all her mommy friends that she shared them with. I never tried one, mostly because I hate coconut flavoring. Hippie Hedgehog posted:Man, what is with people? I mean, my gf is starting to do the same. I'm not into it at the moment. Some days I'm convinced that having two or more kids means just all self-sacrifice, all day and no fun. At least, I want this whole crisis thing to blow over first so I can know what I *actually* feel about it. A Game of Chess posted:I have a small chat group with other moms who were due in the same month as me, and a lot of them are talking about baby fever and one is already pregnant again. I'm just like... how? Why? I haven't slept in a year and a half and I never want to go through this again. We all have nothing else to do and given that this pandemic is probably going to be stretching out for another year or so might as well just go ahead and pop another one out while we're all stuck in the house anyway. It is definitely counter intuitive because I love my son but spending 24 hours a day with him in the house every day with pretty much no breaks is grueling. I would pack him off to his grandparents for a fortnight if it wasn't for all the lockdown stuff and risk of infection. Thinking about adding another kid...madness. But my wife and I both have 3 siblings and always talked about having 3 kids and we have limited time until we hit the 36+ cutoff where every pregnancy is high risk and we don't have anything else to do anyway, so...  . I feel you on wanting some normalcy so you can figure out how you feel about it though. We had our kid while I was in grad school, so just stress on top of stress, and now the pandemic, so I find myself wondering what parenting is like when you can just coast rather than feeling harried and drained all the time.
Mat Cauthon fucked around with this message at 03:42 on May 12, 2020 |
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May 12, 2020 03:40
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We were kinda thinking about another this year but corona put an end to that. We’re going insane trying to both work full time and care take and going through a pregnancy and birth in the midst of shelter in place for who knows how long or who knows what risk is incredibly intimidating. I dunno how you people rationalize it as “well we’re stuck inside might as well have another kid” Then again apparently 3.5 years old is the magical age when your awesome kid turns into a raging rear end in a top hat multiple times per day
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May 12, 2020 04:30
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nwin posted:With all the complaining and lack of sleep and aggravation, my wife and I are thinking of a second one even though our 18-month-old keeps us plenty busy. It's like the first time you smoke cigarettes and you get this really intense rush and then you keep smoking trying to get that rush again and next thing you know you're coughing up lung bits every morning.
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May 12, 2020 04:53
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I would be a bit worried that healthcare will still be overwhelmed in 9 months, and how that would affect maternity care. In addition to the COVID-19 restrictions, there is a huge debt of surgeries and treatment being built up now that most non-acute procedures are postponed. Are maternitety wards doing OK in your area now? How will they be doing in November?
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May 12, 2020 07:26
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Mat Cauthon posted:
i'm actually cackling about that coconut oil bit because my MIL, despite staring at the half full jar of coconut oil in the fridge, decided instead to open my huge honking jar of Backup Emergency Reserve Coconut Oil that I got at the Indian supermarket. "oh i thought it was mayonaise." it has a coconut on the lid. USE YOUR EYES. she then opened my backup box of baking soda so haha gently caress me right! this is perfect, thank you.
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May 12, 2020 07:59
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PHIZ KALIFA posted:i'm actually cackling about that coconut oil bit because my MIL, despite staring at the half full jar of coconut oil in the fridge, decided instead to open my huge honking jar of Backup Emergency Reserve Coconut Oil that I got at the Indian supermarket. "oh i thought it was mayonaise." it has a coconut on the lid. USE YOUR EYES. she then opened my backup box of baking soda so haha gently caress me right!   These are probably similar, taste great and do the job.
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May 12, 2020 08:09
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Levitate posted:Then again apparently 3.5 years old is the magical age when your awesome kid turns into a raging rear end in a top hat multiple times per day Ah poo poo. My kid will be 3.5 when baby 2 is born... I originally wanted a smaller age gap (it took a lot longer to conceive second time around) but I'm pretty happy with where we ended up. A few friends have a bang-on 2 year age gap, like we're talking a day or two difference between their kids' birthdays, and the first year has been ROUGH. Fingers crossed that the extra bit of maturity makes this less hellish, and that they are still close enough to entertain each other...
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May 12, 2020 09:52
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We have a 5 1/2 year age gap. We didn't intend it to be so large, but sometimes things just work out that way. Benefits: Only paying for one daycare at a time, older child is a lot more self sufficient, older child can help out a lot more, now that the youngest one is a toddler and more active the older one understands being not so rough with him than if he was a little younger. We got a puppy for quarantine rather than another baby. We were thinking about it anyway since our last dog died a little more than a year ago. We thought what the hell, we're stuck at home until at least mid August before we have to go back to work (if we're allowed back and not still online)
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May 12, 2020 10:56
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We were in negotiations for #2, but then I had a series of health scares that made me put it out of my mind for the time being. One of these issues is that I developed Hashimoto's at some point and a thyroid tumor to go with it. Biopsy was fine, but I wish the endocrinologist had warned me that starting levothyroxine can just make it loving rain eggs. So here we are, I'm now due in December, and #1 son will be about 2.5. On the bright (?) side, my mother in law is probably going to be out of a job by then since their company is struggling and she's about retirement age anyway, so she'll most likely be around for a good long while to help out when everything shuts down again. Childcare is shockingly cheap around here, so that's not a huge concern. We'll be paying less for 2 kids than our friend does for her one daughter up in DC. Now I just have to figure out how to get my son to sleep without a wrestling match. He suddenly started refusing to be rocked to sleep a couple of weeks ago, but he has no off switch, and will wiggle and scoot around his bed indefinitely without actually falling asleep. I have to lay with him and physically hold him still until his body realizes "oh it's sleepy time" and he conks out. Most nights this happens relatively quickly and he sleeps either through the night, or with maybe one short waking. But last night was a longer struggle, and he kept waking up every 2 hours-ish, refused any comfort, but would eventually put himself back to sleep. There was just a lot of screaming every time he woke. What a weirdo.
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May 12, 2020 13:51
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I got a message last night from our school's PTA asking all parents to call the state and ask for education funding in the next budget. Apparently, our state is massively screwed financially and we are looking at education cuts worse than the 2008 financial crisis. I didn't have kids in 2008, I have no idea what schools went through, and now I am freaking out that our kids' Spanish dual immersion program will be cut. My son is wrapping up 3rd grade, he's been in the program for 4 years and his progress is amazing. The whole reason we did this was for him (and his siblings) to have the same group of friends and the same educational track through 8th grade, with the bonus fluency of a second language. I posted in the Facebook group asking if our program is in jeopardy, and our town's mayor replied "everything's in jeopardy" which was just a lovely thing to wake up to this morning. Now my mind is swirling about the possibility of our local school being closed, having to search for private Spanish immersion programs, driving my kids to a school further away, my kids losing their friends, etc.
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May 13, 2020 19:49
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Sheesh I don't know what's gotten into him but lately our 4 year old just won't cooperate at bedtime. We've carried on with our normal routine and he'll go to bed on time, but then every 10-15 minutes or so he'll shout/cry for us that he wants a drink... when his cup is already in his room and filled, and then repeat this until 9-10 at night. Doesn't matter if we're nice or stern with him it makes no difference, we've pondered getting some black out curtains or some kind of night light (although he already has a Grolight).
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May 13, 2020 22:01
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VorpalBunny posted:I got a message last night from our school's PTA asking all parents to call the state and ask for education funding in the next budget. Apparently, our state is massively screwed financially and we are looking at education cuts worse than the 2008 financial crisis. I didn't have kids in 2008, I have no idea what schools went through, and now I am freaking out that our kids' Spanish dual immersion program will be cut. My son is wrapping up 3rd grade, he's been in the program for 4 years and his progress is amazing. The whole reason we did this was for him (and his siblings) to have the same group of friends and the same educational track through 8th grade, with the bonus fluency of a second language. I thought it was obvious that we'd all have to move to the mountains and raise our kids to hunt and farm like it's the 1700s all over again?
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May 13, 2020 22:07
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How can we figure out when a kid is ready to bathe on her own?
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May 14, 2020 00:13
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So my 18-monther doesn't have canine teeth yet. Is this normal? She has bicuspids, the ones that are behind the canines, and has for like four months now.
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May 14, 2020 01:11
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VanSandman posted:So my 18-monther doesn't have canine teeth yet. Is this normal? She has bicuspids, the ones that are behind the canines, and has for like four months now. My son's 19 months and the top canines are just now starting to poke through.
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May 14, 2020 02:17
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hooah posted:How can we figure out when a kid is ready to bathe on her own? Like, be left alone in the bath to play but you do the actual washing? Or actually do it start to finish?
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May 14, 2020 02:42
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BonoMan posted:Like, be left alone in the bath to play but you do the actual washing? Or actually do it start to finish? The latter.
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May 14, 2020 02:58
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hooah posted:How can we figure out when a kid is ready to bathe on her own? It was just trial and error for us. If we left her alone and she got out with dry hair or food still on her face, we'd ask her to try again. Just let her try it and see. Mine were bathing on their own from about 2-2.5 onward but YMMV.
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May 14, 2020 03:44
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hooah posted:How can we figure out when a kid is ready to bathe on her own? I'm paranoid. Not letting her be in water by herself until she's school age. (Yeah she's only 1.5 now, I'm sure I'll have a different view in two years' time.)
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May 14, 2020 11:40
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Our one year old has started groaning theatrically when picking things off the floor and I’m pretty sure that was 100% learned from us being tired and sore lmao
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May 14, 2020 12:10
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My son- I am so proud of you! You are wonderful and smart and have filled my life with more joy than I ever thought would be possible just by being you. But please go the gently caress back to bed. It's 3am.
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May 14, 2020 16:26
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BadSamaritan posted:Our one year old has started groaning theatrically when picking things off the floor and I’m pretty sure that was 100% learned from us being tired and sore lmao https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pEJHzQIMH5k
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May 14, 2020 16:46
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Hippie Hedgehog posted:I'm paranoid. Not letting her be in water by herself until she's school age. Around 3 we let her be in there sort of unsupervised for a time (just keeping an ear out). She's almost 6 and while she technically bathe herself start to finish super easily... well.. she's a kid so it's all difficult.
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May 14, 2020 16:48
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Classroom zoom meetings are a chore with a shy child.
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May 14, 2020 17:04
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